“My Husband Prefers a Dakimakura to Me…”
- Author: Artefact
- Categories: Anime, H, News
- Date: Apr 5, 2011 19:15 JST
- Tags: 2D vs 3D, Bizarre, Dakimakura, Image Gallery, Marriage, Onanism, Relationships, Sleeping
The story of a wife whose husband rejected her in favour of a dakimakura has lately been the subject of much otaku sympathy, largely towards the dakimakura…
The tale concerns a married couple, both 38:
We slept together when first married, but after my second child we slept in different rooms. I slept with the children.
When we need to, I sneak into my husband’s room and go back to the children’s bed when we’re done.
My husband was saying “If we’re not together until morning it’s lonely,” but then a year ago he bought a full-sized dakimakura.
He really got into it, and said “If I have this I sleep like a baby!”
However, it started to get a bit manky, but when I suggested he buy a new one he just told me “I like the deeply ingrained odour it has now.”
His body odour isn’t bad, but I really don’t like the intense odour of the dakimakura when I sneak in.
So I came up with a compromise plan.
“I’ll put the children to bed, then sleep in this room with you” I suggested.
“Why?”
“You got the dakimakura because you were lonely when I didn’t sleep with you until the morning, right?”
“Well, that was then.”
“That was then? What are you on about? Anyway, just get rid of that dakimakura, OK?”
“That would have been OK back then, but not now. I prefer to sleep with the dakimakura. With you until morning? No thanks!”
So I lost to the dakimakura…
The telling of the tale of course rather overlooks the fact that a few years before it could have been told as “My wife prefers sleeping with our children to me!”
Which character or characters grace his dakimakura cover is not mentioned, but the dakimakura humping demographic of 2ch is unsympathetic all the same:
“Sounds about right.”
“I bet the dakimakura was printed with a character…”
“Because old hags stink…”
“After two kids she’s probably none to appealing to sleep with.”
“At 38 pretty people are still pretty… it was the wife’s mistake to refuse to sleep with him in the first place anyway. Serves her right.”
“It’s probably made up in any case!”
“Just some reporter’s delusion…”
“Why must he sleep with some old woman anyway? After he gets home from work he doesn’t need to be tortured any more.”
“Advantages of dakimakura:
Light.
No arms.
No snoring.
If they get in the way you can throw them out of bed with no complaints.”
“Anyway, my wife:”
“You went for 2D but still chose a bitch…”
[The thread contains more recent examples of dakimakura wives:]
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Hai to Gensou no Grimgar “Has Oppai!”
Picking Up Japan Express Vol. 36 Worth a Pickup
Dimension W Out Of This World
Odin Sphere: Leifthrasir PV Certainly Nostalgic
One-Punch Man Soundtrack PV Packs A Wallop
XmasTrickStar “A White Christmas Indeed…”
Wo-Class Carrier Ero-MMD In Dire Straights
Voice Translation Tool Promotional Video “Inexcusable!”
Luck & Logic Far From Lucky
Yandere Simulator Possibly Headed to Kickstarter
Top 20 Recent Anime Most In Need Of A Sequel
Hyrule Warriors Legends PV Clashes Interminably
Akagami no Shirayukihime English Dub Surfaces
Koukaku no Pandora Really Opens That Box
Gate Season 2 Darker Than Ever
Super Sweet Sonico Bikini Figure
Top 10 Naughtiest Late Night Anime
Shoujo-tachi Mezasu Seemingly Innocent
Final Fantasy XIV Lord of Verminion Trailer Highly Adorable
Delectable Dizzy Cosplay by Lechat
Dark Elf Cosplay by Non Very Dark Indeed
Titillating Tamako Cosplay Perfectly Pink
Goddess of 2ch: “Full of Lust & Urges (& Also Videos)!”
Raunchy Reisen Inaba Cosplay by Tsuyato
Haruhi Bunny Girl Cosplay Rocks Out
Youmu Ero-Cosplay by Madoka Adachi Deadly Sexy
Comiket 89 Cosplay Sickeningly Sweet
Comiket 89 Cosplay A Guilty Pleasure
Comiket 89 Cosplay Ceaselessly Sexy
"So I lost to the dakimakura…" rofl..
She should be afraid when her husband has bought a fleshlight to use it with the dakimakura. But now, no problem at all, at least for now.
The wife should wear the dakimakura cover to bed with him.
Though she should probably give it a wash before doing that...
But the husband likes the deeply ingrained odour it has now.
It disturbs me that the only odour he gets excited to is his own, not to mention it's been brewing in that dakimakura for a while.
Her husband likes his own manky smell.
...
She should probably file for divorce.
He could start over again with that "new" dakimakura
Or print her own image in full size on the dakimkura, so her husband is still sleeping with "her" and not with some Belldandy dakimakura.
And make sure she draws herself in anime MILF format!
Hey that's actually a good idea lol!
I agree completely. Get a Belldandy Dakimakura.
That poor guy, imagine if he had to look at his wife on his pillow instead of an internal-rotating hipped loli?
^ i lol'd!
He'll be either very happy or very angry :3
I bet the Dakimakura is not even anime-related, otherwise, the title for this would be "My husband is a filth otaku, I fear for my children".
I don't think any wife would take so easy if Shana or an eroge character were on hers husband's dakimakura.
Maybe it's Belldandy on the dakimakura (not some loli)?
you know, judging by the following lines of hers:
"His body odour isn’t bad, but I really don’t like the intense odour of the dakimakura when I sneak in."
she says the dakimakura has a somehwat intense odour. guess you can figure out the rest...
“That was then? What are you on about? Anyway, just get rid of that dakimakura, OK?”
notice how she insists to get rid of it.
conclusion: it could really be an anime-daki. maybe just some fluffy and cute character, nothing too extreme of course.
Obviously, the solution is for the wife to get an even smexier dakimakura for her own bed.
or ware the pillow case over her head.
the image contains a paper bag upside down with eye and mouth holes cout out.
the caption reads "you'll do"
I lolled so hard at the comment on the Kirino dakimakura: "You went for 2D and still got a Bitch." xD rofl
you sir are epic.
oh will the depravity never end
At least she is cute.**
Girls can get away with a lot of things when they are attractive.
**And she really isn't that bad a girl, just a "bad communicator". :p
You'd bow down for a pretty bitch?!
CUT YOUR DICK OFF, MAGGOT! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE A MAN!
*rapes an Ivy Valentine dakimakura*
I prefer to think of it as perseverance. :p
Figuring out the correct flags to trigger the good ending route takes time.
You must learn patience grasshopper. (-_-)
Goddamnit Anon22:45...
I'd rather make WOMEN bow down for me, not the other way around. Some things a man should rather 'give' than to 'take', you know? lol
Oh I'd bow down all right if you know what I mean ;)
You mean, you'd bow down for a trap? Because bowing down for a woman isn't exactly... you know...
I laughed so hard!
still laughing at this
Waifu > wife
But he should really give her a wash.
"You went for 2D but still choose a bitch."
AHHHAHAHAHA. All to true.
At least the Dakimakura doesn't get jealous over the other pillow in the bed.
Yes, that wife does need a wash, doesn't she?
He should really give her a wash? I'm sorry, we're still talking about the pillow right?
A dakimakura when unrelated to otaku is just the large pillow.
Got owned by a piece of cotton! Oh yeah
How dare you call my waifu a piece of cotton! XD
Outrageous! I'll have you know my waifu is 100% polyester!
Yeah you keep to your '' daimakura '', we others will enjoy our dakimakura.
I preffer a daimakura over her, too.
best post I've read on this site since a long time
no bashing, no personal opinions, lot of delicious pics and it was funny
well the last ones are all thanks to 2ch but anyway
Honestly, those 2ch people are lonely otakus coz all they can comment are "old hag", "ugly" or whatever else. When do they start understanding that relationships are about couples relating as individuals?
And why has the wife started sleeping with the kids? Depending on the reason, you can't really blame the wife.
Lastly, a partner, whether man or woman, telling the his/her partner something like "with you until morning? no thanks" doesn't really deserve to be loved. If you love someone, you don't just throw something like that on the other person's face.
lol, you sound like an old hag.
Anon 12:03 is a fail troll. Please ignore.
I feel sorry for the kids, both parents are losers.
nah... the man is win. 2D > 3D. no exceptions.
"Who needs a wife when you can have Kirino and many waifus?"
... was the only thing I learned from this
Hahaha i see we learned an important lesson here. Though i must admit i was waiting to see a hideyoshi dakimakura while scrolling through the pics...
"Many waifus"
No. Just no. You can only have one waifu.