Married Japanese offer up a ranking of the reasons they ended up getting hitched, supplying a surprisingly romantic selection.
1. You wanted to live together
2. You thought you needed a partner
3. You felt you had reached the right age for marriage
4. You would have regretted letting your partner go for the rest of your life
5.You wanted to appease your parents
6. You’d been dating a while and felt it was time
7. You thought your partner needed you
8. You wanted to protect your partner
9. You wanted children
10. You ended up with children
Those wondering what happened to all the pecuniary motivations need look no further than “14. You saved enough to get married,” “15. Your income increased” and “20. Your income decreased.”
Those conducting the ranking appear to have been too diplomatic to offer “You wanted your partner’s income” or “You wanted to stop working” – other surveys seem to suggest these are fairly major motivators…
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Well I remember a speech by Lee Kuan Yew:
"In western culture you marry the person you love, In asian culture you love the person you marry."
Hm...
In a way, it is true. Past tradition has you get married after a certain age. If you don't want to, your parents will bug you about it or force you into it.
past traditions also had us sacrifice goats at an alter to appease the god of the land so you may have a bountiful harvest, some even went so far as to have human sacrifices...
that shit stopped for a reason.
Why stop at goats? Other traditions had ritualized wars as excuses to grab people, tie them to an alter, then cut out their hearts... you know, to SAVE THE WORLD.
Then again, a lot of the crap we take for granted now was invented a long time ago. Like wheels.
I'm pretty sure that's still going on in quite a few places.
yea, i wouldnt doubt it, but only places would be those untouched by civilization, like middle of africa tribes, or south american tribes.
Coming from the guy who also thinks -
"In Western culture you vote for your leaders; In Asian cultures I pick my son"
meh I'd take it with a large dose of salt.
Well singapore is a nice place to live in if your in the upper class of citizens, anything below, love wont keep a couple alive. I figured its the same in japan too.
How exactly is one different from another?
It's kinda embarrassing to say, but I don't get it.
The former is marrying for love, the latter is learning to love the person you married
asia has it down. love is thickle and can fade. learning to love is better than falling in love...and then falling out.
While I think you have a point with marrying for love, the vast majority of couples that marry that way have a divorce. Arranged marriages have a significantly lower chance of occurring, statistically speaking. Then again, since when do people know what they want anyway?
People who marry without love are just brain dead. Getting with someone out of a sense of duty already shows messed up priorities in life. And marrying someone you don't love is just unwise and to me actually shows that the person is willing to settle for the sake of what society tells them they should be doing. Sharing your life with someone you don't love? That's just moronic on so many levels.
I don't understand the thought process of people who think there is a necessary time limit on love, like the later the timer starts the better off you are.
You're an idiot. You can't just learn to love someone just because you happen to be with them. It's smarter to know you love someone and build on that then enter into a relationship hoping it magically occurs.
A higher rate of divorce has nothing to do with whether you marry for love or not. Divorce has other factors, such as how your culture views divorce, the consequences of that divorce, and the pressures said culture puts on relationships.
People saying that arranged marriages are "more successful" just based on the divorce rate aren't looking at the whole picture.
Also, who is to say those people are actually happy?
Forever alone
That's right, Anonymous, follow your heart! Your emotional outburst proves it will always be magically stable, and if the feeling fades when you already have kids, that's their problem. It might come off as impulsive, but duty and obligation are for suckers.
If there isn't a response that's just "money", this survey is inaccurate.
In short, meaning Asians love their wives.
While westerns love their girlfriends or want to get married or something, or so i think.
@15:09 Anon
In layman terms, western culture, you love the person you marry him/her while asian culture, you marry a stranger and learn to love him/her after that...
"in west you marry for love '' in west you marry either on illusion of love and divorse in few years or you knocked the chick up .
"in west you marry for love '' in west you marry either on illusion of love and divorse in few years or you knocked the chick up .
QFT.
The "because we were in love" answer is mysteriously absent.
marriage isn't all about love
You can't eat LOVE afterall
But you CAN love to eat though :D
Why is Sankakucomplex so bitter about love and relationships? When a ranking result is negative, this site is all "this world is sad" generalizations, but even when it's more positive, it just has to remind everyone of the previous negative ones or use other arguments to shed more bitterness. ~.~"
But you can eat pussy
I've thought that wanting to live together (the 1st reason) implies love? :)
in china eating pussy is a natural thing
@Anon at 03:23 - that's because most everyone here is a socially retarded young adult male who even got rejected by his community college's anime club's resident fujoshi landwhale.
Well it should be about love, and it's a shame that most people don't choose love. I know it doesn't pay the bills but I rather be poor and happy with my partner, than rich and a unhappy slut...
True. People fall in and out of love all the time, as evidenced by the very high divorce rates of many marriages in western countries. Being able to live together with someone without wanting to tear each others' throats out is far more important than a fleeting chemical reaction in your brain such as "love" :p
@Riiku: OH WOW A WHOLE YEAR good job ya want a cookie? If the human lifespan was 15 years long maybe a year would count for something. If you can say the same thing in ten years maybe I'll give you a pat on the back. Maybe.
You didn't quarrel about how to cook your eggs at the three month mark?
LOL... a year....
If you have no quarrels there's something wrong. That means no one is disagreeing or saying what bothers them.
Good luck with that.
A good relationship argues plenty but gets somewhere after the argument and improves things. A bad relationship stagnates with no one being 'bothered' by anything.
so much agree to ur shit dude. gutjob anon~
Fuck this, I've been living with my girl together for a year now, and we hadn't had a SINGLE FUCKING quarrel
I'd get married for GTO's reasons :)
I could be old and she'll be young and fun even as I age more.
I would get married for the very same reasons (same as uran's).
I love the yurilicious Eila/Sanya marriage pic! It is the most interesting part of this entire post.
Funny how love didn't make the list...
In Japan, Love is mostly IMPLIED.
Thanks Sankaku Complex for making me to believe it
Love relationships are a shoujo ideal, not reality in Japan. They say love is implied so they can get out of showing their spouse that they love them or so they can get out of making an effort. It's sad to see how almost everyone in Japan treats their relationships. And there is so much infidelity it's not funny. Why? Because there is no love, just duty.
Love is a Western concept and many people who are in "love" fall out of it after they get sick of looking at each other everyday of their lives. Things like convenience, practicality, friendship seem to weather the storm better than the childish, romanticized, Western concept of "love".
I would think "wanting to live together" kinda qualifies as love.
Implications of love aren't difficult to see in some of them. Especially #4. #1 isn't exactly loveless either. Neither is #6 and #8 and, likely, #7.
My parents aren't married, and have never been. They're not even engaged! And they've been together for over 30 years now! (I'm 22, and their youngest of 3 btw.)
So I don't really see the need to get married. At all. Sorry.
Your parents are whores who were too lazy to make a full commitment and who wanted an easy way out if they found better options. Kinda hilarious.
uhm, do they at least have a legal arrangement? like when one of them dies and the money goes to the partner instead of some cousin or something?
Yeah the only one of these goals that couldn't be accomplished by simply living together unmarried is 5.
son of a bicth
yeah, he's such a bastard!
shit I loled.
You get benefits dumbass :I
You also get slammed by taxes in the US.
If you're married you get less taxes...