Miku vs Clash


Slutty holographic sensation Hatsune Miku’s encounter with music rag Clash is even worse than anticipated – in the actual magazine, guro-cosplayer “triangle-face” is the star of the show throughout virtually the entire 10 page special.

A brave soul risked buying the issue and taking some thankfully blurry photographs of the contents:


Sharp-eyed observers may notice a single 2D illustration of the virtual diva somehow crept in amongst the carnage.

The article itself reportedly contains the kind of basic factual inaccuracies which might be expected of music journalists, with a good portion of the article spent discussing William Gibson and his novel “Idoru” rather than Miku herself.


Incidentally, some wag reported the Clash website as an “attack site” shortly after the original article – whilst Miku fans might concur that it is distributing “harmful” content, this is probably not the sort of harm meant…

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    Avatar of DooDooButta
    Comment by DooDooButta
    06:05 05/02/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Her head is shaped like an upside-down traffic cone.

    Avatar of Megidola
    Comment by Megidola
    06:22 05/02/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Putting a traffic cone over her head would have been an improvement...

    Avatar of TehBoringOne
    Comment by TehBoringOne
    07:44 05/02/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    And then throw her against the ground headfirst to see if she pierces the ground, because she just can't pierce the heavens with her non drill head.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:20 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    wait if you put a traffic cone in her head... does that mean i can beat her with plants in my yard that shoots peas?

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:58 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Please do.

    Avatar of Dreck
    Comment by Dreck
    07:49 05/02/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    symmetry that cone yes

    Avatar of Benoist
    Comment by Benoist
    02:37 07/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    or maybe a pyramid ?

    Avatar of Crossed
    Comment by Crossed
    06:49 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    lack of cheek, and forgot lens. =.=. fugly eyebrows

    Avatar of cats2
    Comment by cats2
    06:59 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Guro model? I'm tempted to see what the hell that means, but also warry of it. Not to mention I don't wan to see this "thing' in the pictures naked almost as much as the guro stuff, hah.....

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:28 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Look at the other pics, the cover is HUGELY photoshopped.

    Avatar of King Tiger
    Comment by King Tiger
    06:53 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I didn't even know of "Guro cosplayers" til now...

    Comment by Anonymous
    Comment by Anonymous
    06:37 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    This is absolutely sickening and only a single actual Miku image...This is...This is SH*T...

    Did they pay that hooker to dress up like Miku or something..?

    Whoever made that entire article and cover paid should be gutted like a trout by yandere Luka...

    -Azure Xuchilbara
    (account suspended)

    Avatar of obro
    Comment by obro
    06:45 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    kill it with fire!

    Avatar of Ota-Kool
    Comment by Ota-Kool

    yeah UK has no originality maybe they should do best just making annoying jokes about Unlucky man not only in Japan also other country's famous people like Egypt's president.

    Avatar of Darkrockslizer
    Comment by Darkrockslizer
    06:22 05/02/2011 # ! Quality (+0.9)

    Shock image sites are offensive to many people and are mostly left uncensored these days where our children can easily access this harmful content. We moms should be grateful about the swift response of the internet community in this case, thanks to which our children are now safe from viewing disturbing images like above.

    Avatar of Megidola
    Comment by Megidola
    06:34 05/02/2011 # ! Quality (+0.9)

    Viewing the above images could severely impede a child's emotional development, leaving them scarred for life...

    Avatar of CowExtract
    Comment by CowExtract
    06:45 05/02/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    I'm not a child, yet I still feel a need to enter therapy after seeing that crap.

    Avatar of bound2serve
    Comment by bound2serve
    15:58 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    even i'm offended by that magazine article. some things aren't appropriate for any audience.

    Comment by Anonymous

    music magazines are only for fags, retards or worse: women.

    Avatar of PewPewPew!
    Comment by PewPewPew!
    06:57 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I think I've just heard the lens in my eyes shatter just now...

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:02 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    I grew new eyes all over my body, and then all of them immediately went blind.

    Avatar of Yoshii-kun
    Comment by Yoshii-kun
    12:51 05/02/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Everybody, freeze!
    I think my eyes fell out...
    my eyes, my eyes... 3_3

    Avatar of Mugen
    Comment by Mugen
    15:46 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Can I...at least...breathe??? O____O;;
    *in a freeze mode*

    12:55 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    *squish* shit did step on something, ok who left their eyeballs laying around. lol

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:28 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Option: GET OUT OF HERE NAO!

    12:25 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    OK my eyes and image of Miku have been fucking tainted by this crap, please someone buy the magazine and burn it. This filth need to be removed.

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:16 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    i burn it :D
    the photos will i upload today at 20 a clock

    burn clash made by germany :DDDDDDDD

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:18 12/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    it's as bad as the justin bieber book.. burn that too, my friend!

    Avatar of Hatsune Miku
    Comment by Hatsune Miku
    14:39 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    OMG!! Goddamn it!! My Eyes!!! MY EYES!!!!

    Avatar of Riiku
    Comment by Riiku
    09:30 06/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Parents like you is the reason the child becomes a scared pussy when he/she grows up. If I'll ever have a children, I'll show him/her the internet as whole. So he/she would not wear pink glasses thinking that world is a kind place. Children, from the young age should learn how to be strong and don't let anyone or anything wound them, mentally or physically.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:14 10/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Actually this is the normal stuff you get out of Vogue, X, Elle etc.

    Which I have, unfortunately, become so used to.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:17 12/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    i don't read those anymore.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:03 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)


    That is the page that is a threat and it was reported on norton's site. So that is where it must of picked it up from lol.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:14 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Boku here, the "brave soul" who spent his hard earned £3.50 on this.
    While I certainly don't mind these images getting about I don't think they really tell the whole tale through my phone camera. If there is interest (be it in positive or negative light) I may be able to get some scans done tomorrow. I suggest you keep some sharp instrument on standby to gauge your eyes thereafter, however.
    It's nice how they decided to interview some fans, but their question choices were.. limited. Not once did they ask about her musically but instead focused on her design or character - probably an attempt to draw out "OMG KAWAII DESU NE??" responses in an attempt to squeeze a laugh or two out, but actually the three they printed were quite level headed; particularly the 13 year old.

    Any way, i've decided to take it asunder to write some form of letter to Clash in regards to this. I don't plan to just flat out attack them for daring to insult Miku (however much I may wish to), but I would like to get across the point they failed to mention just about everything to do with her as an artist or even character - everything in this article was merely speculation and comparison to other fictitious characters and their writers. Theyre meant to be the "#1 UK Music Magazine" yet they failed quite spectacularly at basic journalism.
    Fucking media.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:22 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    By the way, this article was written by one Karley Sciortino.
    Make of that what you will.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:03 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    So that's the heathen name who wrote this atrocious crap...

    Maybe a through leek anal stabbing will improve the next article about Miku and only use her anime pictures instead of some hookers...

    -Azure Xuchilbara
    (account suspended)

    By the way, that Hatsune Miku figure by Tony Taka is coming out this month...Just a friendly reminder for the people and fans who want to get it...

    Avatar of Artefact
    Comment by Artefact

    Hello and thanks for posting those in the first place (I gather you are a different person to the one who was kind enough to submit them)...

    By all means feel free to share the scans if you are so inclined, it may help justify the £3.50, if that is possible.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:01 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I did not submit them, no. But that does not mean I am against them being here, so long as nobody else was going to take the credit for it. Well, what credit could be drawn from it at least. I was only directed here because someone on a certain Miku-related imageboard told me they were here, so I decided to see what the fuss was about. It certainly has stirred up quite a storm.
    To be quite honest I have no idea how to submit such images here anyway, so if I do get some scans whomever copied my images from the source and put them here is quite welcome to do the same again.

    Requests have been made that I burn the magazine in a hope to purify it and purge the world of such blasphemous images, but I think I may take a bit more diplomatic approach to this and - as I said - write a letter to hopefully clear some very misguided journalism. Nobody could have learnt anything from the article, they mention Miku by name then proceed to pussyfoot their way around anything to do with her after calling her a "slut". What do I expect back? Eh, maybe a "Whoops, sorry" at best, but if they did append their site page for this article (or better yet publish an apology in their next issue, although I won't hold my breath over that) then all the better.

    However the only way I see of contacting them appears to be through a small comment section; character limits undefined. I don't expect to make a long spiel, but if anyone here feels there is anything that I should mention then please feel free to say so. I'd like this to be more a collaborative and critically addressing complaint than a single fanboy rant, if possible.

    Avatar of Artefact
    Comment by Artefact

    You can just email the pictures to us or post them on the forum if you'd rather.

    Regarding the article, I was examining the author's site, "Slutever," and the content of both the article and the rag in question rather swam into to focus. It could have been worse...

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:17 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Yeah, thats just like us.

    Finding something we know fuck all about and writing tons and tons of shit about it.

    Avatar of Xerxes von Orphansmith
    12:07 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Shh! Don't stop the circle jerk!!

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:46 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Someone needs to tell those morons that the slutty prostitute they hired to do the photo shoot is NOT MIKU.

    Avatar of Kitsunemimi6
    Comment by Kitsunemimi6
    11:28 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    At least there is a single image of the actual Miku in there...

    Still messed up though...

    Avatar of PrinceHeir
    Comment by PrinceHeir
    Comment by Anonymous
    12:09 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Haha Warning Warning this is an Attack Site


    Wrong type of attack it burns the eyes ^_^

    Avatar of Shizu's Waki Obsessor: MaidNiac
    15:11 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Fugly Model: So what's for my photography session today?

    Manager: Here, wear this. *Gives a Miku wig*

    Fugly Model: What the bloody hell is this?

    Manager: I don't know. They say it's from some Asian cartoon character.

    Fugly Model: And what should I do when I wear this?

    Manager: I don't know. Just... do ANY kind of pose.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:31 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)



    Comment by Anonymous
    18:07 05/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Isn't it the point of vocaloids that they have virtual avatars with non-real identities, and their musical content is user-created and can be produced by anyone with access to the software? What the hell is the point of printing a cosplay of a vocaloid like miku, which is a real-person avatar (and a scary one at that), in a magazine, which by definition does not have audible content because it is made of paper? That's like me carving a sculpture into one side of a boulder, taking a picture of the side of the boulder that does not have a carving, and then showing that picture to someone and asking them to analyze my awesome scuplture.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:27 07/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    ladies and gentlemen, my eyes aquired AIDS and are slowly beginning to rot away.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:08 07/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    the funny part is you guys would jizz in your pants if she walked up to you on the street. too flustered to talk. ah how embarrassing.

    praying to the gods that this girl meet a grisly fate for cosplaying as a character she probably likes. how cruel

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