Top 10 Ways of Getting Your Boyfriend to Marry You


Japanese women share what they consider the best ways to persuade, pressure and in some cases outright trick a man into marrying them, displaying the expected Machiavellian guile as well as some quite traditional or even sweet sentiments.

The ranking, with the percentage of women agreeing with the method:

1. Have him meet your parents (100%)

2. Cook for him a lot (80.6%)

3. Tell him you want to get married by a certain age (73.8%)

4. Keep talking about the happy marriages your friends enjoy (57.3%)

5. Go to a “bridal fair” (44.7%) [an exhibition wedding held by marriage venues]

6. Propose (41.7%)

7. Talk about what you’d do after you have children (39.8%)

8. Go with him to look at rings (37.9%)

9. Go with him to look at furniture (34%)

10. Secretly enlist the aid of his parents (28.2%)

A few items in the rest of the list even border on romantic – “tell him you can’t live without him” (21.4%), “tell him he’s no good without you” (27.2%), although it is interesting to note that the latter method outranks the former.

Also appearing in the lower reaches of the list are some rather alarming methods – such as “lie and say you are pregnant.” Although this did come dead last, 2.9% of women in the survey still thought it was a great way of tricking a man into marriage.

Other underhanded methods thought suitable included “lie and say another man proposed to you” (13.6%), “when he asks you to do something, tell him you’ll do it if he marries you” (12.6%) and “lie and say you are thinking of returning to your hometown” (10.7%).

That over a tenth of these women thought a lie a suitable basis for marriage probably suggests great caution is required…

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    Avatar of kazaza2
    Comment by kazaza2
    09:57 14/01/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    And out the door I went!!!
    Feet don't fail me now!!!!

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:27 14/01/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    “tell him he’s no good without you” (27.2%)

    Facepalm at that... I was told that by a former girlfriend. I got so angry I kicked her out of my house.

    Avatar of Kitsunemimi6
    Comment by Kitsunemimi6
    12:32 14/01/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    It was the right thing to do...the right thing to do...

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:55 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I hope you meant literally "kicked" her out

    Avatar of patamon
    Comment by patamon
    11:29 14/01/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Hmm. Some of these seem like good ideas to help strengthen your relationship, which might lead to marriage (e.g. introducing him to your family, talking about the future, even cooking for him a lot--I would assume there are men who really want a woman who can cook), but some of the others are just ridiculous. Why would you want a marriage built on lies and dishonesty? Marriage isn't something you do just because you can, because you feel old, because all your friends are doing it, because it sounds fun, etc... It's a huge commitment, and coercing someone into marriage is not likely to end well. :\

    If you want to get married, marry for love and companionship. Be honest with your partner. Do it for the right reasons. :\

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:37 14/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    amen bro. as corny or cheesy it is, love will keep you together, not hot animalistic unbridled sex.

    i admit teh sex may keep me for a while tho... but not for life.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:36 14/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    You are totally right. There is no flaw in your post.

    But this is irl.
    Innocent, pure love like that doesn't exist anymore.
    And if exists, it soons turns putrid.

    This is a bitter world we are living.
    People are fucked up.

    Avatar of patamon
    Comment by patamon
    19:52 14/01/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    That may be true. A lot of times, love seems to turn sour after a while. However, my husband and I have a good relationship and we are honest with each other. We were together for many years before we got married, so we really knew each other and were ready to take that step. I think it would help if people took things slower, instead of just rushing into marriage without really thinking about it seriously.

    So, we may be living in a bitter world with fucked up people, but there are some rare exceptions.

    Avatar of vanilka
    Comment by vanilka
    21:09 14/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)


    That's probably the problem. People tend to rush it. I always facepalm when I hear that some couple married after like 3 months of relationship or so. Then all the hormones fade away and they'll find out that they can't stand each other and they have nothing in common.
    Maybe if people thought about it more before they make such an important decision, there wouldn't be so many unhappy married couples and divorces.
    It took like 2-3 years for me to realize that I couldn't stand my boyfriend's personality and that he simply wasn't a man for me, thus I would never marry a person earlier than after a few years of relationship. Love makes people blind at the beginning.

    I'm glad to read that there are still some happy married couples somewhere. It makes me feel more optimistic about relationships and marriage.

    Comment by 666
    13:32 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Why do You think it existed before? From the point of Evolutionary psychology at first humans lived in tribes where everyone were making "love" with each other. So phenomenon of love appeared later when society become more complicated. So in nature there is no such thing as love, it's purely synthetic.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:52 14/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)


    I agree so much it's kind of scary.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:26 15/01/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    12:52 you should know by now that digimon are ALWAYS right...

    Avatar of Shaolan-kun
    Comment by Shaolan-kun
    01:43 15/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    I can't find any words to add - you're just plain right.

    Now, are there other girls like you out there? TT_TT

    Avatar of patamon
    Comment by patamon
    04:22 15/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    There are! You just might have to look very carefully to find them. :3

    Avatar of Ataeru
    Comment by Ataeru
    19:50 15/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Im glad there are people in the world with your mentality. And holding off on marriage until you were both absolutely sure.

    I have seen the opposite in my family, and fearing that I would end up being alone to avoid that.

    I don't mean to be an annoyance, but I really appreciate the reassurance in this kind of world on finding a partner to be with.

    Avatar of patamon
    Comment by patamon
    01:18 16/01/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)


    You're not an annoyance! :3 I'm glad you found some reassurance in my comments. Good luck to you! :D

    Avatar of vanilka
    Comment by vanilka
    17:22 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I couldn't agree more.

    Avatar of Kitsunemimi6
    Comment by Kitsunemimi6
    12:21 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Now if only more people understood what you just said, patamon...

    But I guess that's just shooting for the moon though...

    Comment by H-Ero
    09:48 14/01/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    “lie and say another man proposed to you”

    I don't see how anyone could think this is a good method. If my girlfriend told me that, I would either think that a stranger or somebody she knows was just joking around with her or that she was cheating on me. Either way, it wouldn't make me want to marry her.

    Avatar of Neko Musume Classic
    Comment by Neko Musume Classic
    09:44 14/01/2011 # ! Quality (+0.9)

    *Waterboy stuttering voice*

    My-yy Ma-ma-mama says that women are the devil.

    Avatar of Megidola
    Comment by Megidola
    09:57 14/01/2011 # ! Quality (+0.9)

    6. Propose (41.7%)

    How could a man possibly hope to defend against such a cunning and devious ploy? They'll be tricked into marriage for sure!

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:59 14/01/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Perhaps this is a bit naive, but would ~40% of women really propose?

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:58 14/01/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    @anon 10:18
    married people don't have sex. they "make love"

    if you wanna have "sex" then marriage is not for you!
    -Chris Rock

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:18 14/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.9)

    Marry me and we can have sex everyday.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:42 14/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Please. Everyone knows it's the broken condom that's #1.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:52 14/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    "Cook for him a lot (80.6%)"

    These women are on the right track

    Avatar of Kitsunemimi6
    Comment by Kitsunemimi6
    11:37 14/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Talk about their being various ways to force a man into marriage, the devil's ceremony...

    It's great during the actual ceremony but before & afterwards, literally a nightmare...

    I can't say this enough, I fucking hate marriage, I loathe marriage so much, it's like your paying for your own eventual misery...

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:56 14/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    @Anon 10:42

    Bahahah, so true.

    Avatar of Artefact
    Comment by Artefact

    40% of Japanese women would definitely not propose.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:19 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Lol go to look at furniture? There is no definite way to get anyone to marry you, its entirely down to the individual. They should stop being so materialistic and so end-result driven by-any-means-necessary and focus more on the actual relationship with the person.

    As attractive as japanese women are, I really would NOT want to date them. The endless stream of articles on here especially just keep damning them more and more.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:42 25/01/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    well either way, the question will be asked whether or not it is the guy asking.

    Avatar of Sandalphon
    Comment by Sandalphon
    14:53 18/01/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    @Anon 12:19
    There are still 'good' Japanese women out there. Don't base your opinions on these surveys alone, unless they surveyed all of Japanese women.

    @Anon 8:49
    It's "Higher education" if memory serves me well.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:49 15/01/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Actually, cooking is kinda my hobby, so if they cook too much I might have trouble because I want the kitchen for myself!

    Now, if she could bring home the bacon so I can cook, that's a different story... But in Japan the standard is the 3 highs (taller, higher pay, and the last one I can never remember).

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:42 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (0)


    Only if they can cook well...what if they're horrible at it?

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:57 15/01/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    @Anonymous 11:58
    Of course married people have sex.

    Just not with their partners.

    Avatar of megaman007
    Comment by megaman007
    10:19 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    No thanks, not into gay sex.

    Comment by Anonymous

    Actually these all make sense
    #9 maybe a bit but I feel like could have been a more popular option than 10 given more variance nonethless a good list

    Comment by Anonymous

    get pregnant, then force him to marry.
    ah!! that would be my nightmare.

    Avatar of BlaqCat
    Comment by BlaqCat
    15:27 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I'm amazed so many went for "Propose" over "lie and say your pregnant". The reputation of japanese women has just risen in my book dramatically (though it stands to reason they don't want to use that lie is because they have no desire to allow these men to impregnate them to 'seal the deal')!

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:27 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Shit am I the only one who read "cock" instead of "cook"?

    Avatar of Neko Musume Classic
    Comment by Neko Musume Classic
    10:10 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    @Megi, Oh you!

    Avatar of CowExtract
    Comment by CowExtract
    11:17 14/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Megi ---> Negi.... Nevermind

    Avatar of CowExtract
    Comment by CowExtract
    11:06 14/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Change the "M" into an "N"...

    Avatar of Megidola
    Comment by Megidola
    10:34 14/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    I like my shortened name there...though it does make me sound like a typhoon...

    Avatar of Megidola
    Comment by Megidola
    11:36 14/01/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    I have no objection to being Miku's plaything...

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:14 14/01/2011 # ! Drivel (-0.8)

    @CowExtract: What's a Narriage?

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:45 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    "That over a tenth of these women thought a lie a suitable basis for marriage probably suggests great caution is required…"

    You might want to do some reading... google "The Misandry Bubble" and treat your eyes to a dissection of the eternal solipsism of the female mind.

    If you genuinely trust women, you're an idiot.

    Avatar of yuriphoria
    Comment by yuriphoria
    12:54 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Not sure i could say no

    Avatar of Chiaki H
    Comment by Chiaki H
    13:47 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I don't think it's unheard of, but it's certainly not in vogue compared to traditional venues.

    Avatar of Hatsune Miku
    Comment by Hatsune Miku
    15:02 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Women... They are scary sometimes...

    Avatar of Blackowl
    Comment by Blackowl
    19:07 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (-0.2)

    it's not "sometimes",it's "always"

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:10 14/01/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    i want a pet devil :'( . Actually enlist help of his parents would work in my cause :s .

    Avatar of TheBeast
    Comment by TheBeast
    10:50 15/01/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    they forgot "get knocked up"

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