Lara Croft, Square Enix Style


The Tomb Raider franchise is being rebooted by its new owners Square Enix – and this is the result.

Lara Croft’s evolution from comically buxom into comically macho:


The game is being made by American developer Crystal Dynamics, formerly owned by Eidos and now a part of Square Enix.

Although notionally an American game, in light of Square Enix’s notoriously simplistic (and so far, equally ineffective) view of marketing to hairy foreigners it is hard not to speculate about the involvement of Wada and company in ensuring the reboot of Lara into a macho she-man.

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    Avatar of Fox89
    Comment by Fox89
    05:21 08/12/2010 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    "Macho she-man". In other words "She doesn't have massive tits".

    She looks better than ever, and CD want to focus on the "survival" element this time around, hence the mud and blood. I know it's fashionable to hate on Square Enix at the moment thanks to FF13 and 14, but in regards to the western side of things they just seem to be throwing money at them and letting talented developers getting on with the job.

    This is why we have Deus Ex, Thief and now a completely rebooted Tomb Raider to look forward to. So let's cut them some slack.

    Avatar of El Chaos
    Comment by El Chaos
    08:58 12/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    That's right, as long as they limit themselves to providing funds for good developers, there aren't really many reasons for scorning 'em. What's more, they have built a reputation for great games during the Super Famicom and PlayStation eras that's mostly just hot air, I prefer them as they are now, a cool games publisher instead of a comically overrated games developer.

    Also, I didn't know about the new Thief game, I'll try to check it out too. Thanks, Fox.

    Avatar of Tomoya-san
    Comment by Tomoya-san
    05:15 08/12/2010 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    Nice remake.Does she have a katana now?

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:12 08/12/2010 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    GOOD, no more helium breasts for her now, which makes it looks 3 times realistic

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:30 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I'd rate you up even more if I wasn't anon

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:06 09/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Realism is overated, aren't games supposed to be an escape from the mindanity of reality?

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:26 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    That's a bow.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:43 08/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    *You unlocked a new Achievement*
    *Master of the Obvious*

    Avatar of BlaqCat
    Comment by BlaqCat
    07:14 08/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    I can agree with her having a bow. If the designers are smart, they'll integrate it well into gameplay (such as using it to shoot graples to higher levels and so on...)

    I doubt they'll do that though.

    Avatar of Shippoyasha
    Comment by Shippoyasha
    15:48 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    More like Crystal Dynamics style. Square is only the publisher and they are not really providing much other than the CGI cutscene technology if the developers needs it, like with the latest Deus Ex game.

    Avatar of Indofag
    Comment by Indofag
    14:07 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    No, but according to my (absolutely trustworthy) source she now has a dick.

    Avatar of Nekki
    Comment by Nekki
    14:56 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Uhh... I think she has a gunsword now.

    Avatar of Renzo
    Comment by Renzo
    16:34 09/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    She's the type of 'cool girl' and adventurer ! I hope she'd be upgraded :3

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:52 11/05/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    No but your mom has a negro katana inside her :)

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:01 09/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    hahhaahh never looks so feminine before, old tombraider looked like a latina chola, now she looks bad ass.

    Comment by Anonymous
    Avatar of Saunter
    Comment by Saunter
    05:18 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (-0.3)

    She can beat me up but she is still hot. Except on bad consoles.

    Avatar of dreadx6
    Comment by dreadx6
    05:32 08/12/2010 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    please please please tell me they aren't gonna turn her into some freak of nature, more buff than your average man, woman ;_;

    Avatar of Atzumo Kayami
    Comment by Atzumo Kayami
    06:19 08/12/2010 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    It's definitely an improvement respect the first games

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:59 08/12/2010 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    At least her head is normal sized.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:03 08/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    She's going to be DFC. I mean, look at those pictures. She's progressively getting flatter.

    Avatar of Noodlestein
    Comment by Noodlestein
    19:29 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Underworld was the best version of her imo.

    Avatar of Yuuki
    Comment by Wisteria Berlitz
    15:44 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    @Anon14:34 a DFC?

    Comment by flood
    18:05 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    no no not DFC, it's still there.
    Also, LaRambo Croft lol


    Avatar of OhYeah
    Comment by OhYeah
    11:57 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)


    Seriously, they got smaller.

    Avatar of Arya
    Comment by Arya
    19:36 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Larambo Croft? Let's hope that she had trick arrows.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:34 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hell, behind this face image she should be DFC, I'm sad, I will cry. Poor Lara, what is a woman without big boobs?

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:43 09/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well, at least, there is not tetsuya nomura in this character desing, since he is practycally involved in any square-enix project, is good to see, cristal dinamics, do still do ther own stuff.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:49 09/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    its called breast reduction... she got one

    she needs implants now

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:10 09/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Ore no Lara Ga Konna ni Pettan wake ga nai!

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:16 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Oh god, we don't need anymore good things becoming chinese quality -_-

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:48 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I think it'll be fine. Quoting Rockpapershotgun:

    "One of my favourite things of recent years has been the standard of Crystal Dynamics’ Tomb Raider games. While there’s no doubt there’s Lara fatigue, it’s inappropriate when they’re some of the finest action platform/shooters around. So it’s with a happy face that I greet the news that the next game from the team is a complete reboot of the series, simply called Tomb Raider. "

    Avatar of Majineko
    Comment by Majineko
    07:43 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    i hope they copy off of uncharted a bit.

    Avatar of Yoshii-kun
    Comment by Yoshii-kun
    10:42 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Give her a blue flamingo dress with slightly longer hair, and you're looking at Yuna from FFX-2 for pic 5.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:30 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wait what the hell, I REALLY REALLY like how she looks now.

    Avatar of DK
    Comment by DK
    22:42 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (-0.2)

    Is it bad that I like Lara's new design? She actually looks... human now.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:25 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    That's the dumbest comment I've ever read...

    Comment by Anonymous

    dont you mean . Does she have a cheeseburger now?

    Avatar of Neonie
    Comment by Neonie
    05:16 08/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.7)

    Dear Square: You have already failed at the hands of Atlus, Compile Heart, and Nippon Ichi. Please give the fuck up.

    Avatar of Saunter
    Comment by Saunter
    05:19 08/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.3)

    I 2nd this statement.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:22 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    They seem to be on the right track with Human Revolution. So long as Squeenix let the developers do their thing and stick to publishing (and maybe supporting visual assets), it shouldn't be too bad.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:45 09/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Indeed, the last few Tomb Raiders with the exception of TR:Underworld were alright TR:Legend was a definite comeback point while TR:Anniversary was a decent remake. Too bad the writers forgot about Avalon halfway through the story arc.

    The Underworld Lara look is the best of both worlds not some pre teen (reason for DFC junk...) Gilligan's Island crap.

    Sqeenix is really trying to break into the western market, kind of how Microsoft was paying JPN developers to make rpg's for the X-box.


    Avatar of Shizu's Waki Obsessor: MaidNiac
    05:16 08/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Doesn't even look anything SE-ish, tbh.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:26 09/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    She does, but reverse- if it was a guy looking like a girl you would gladly accept the look wouldn't you?

    u know tbh.

    Avatar of Crowbar
    Comment by Crowbar
    22:42 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    And that's a bad thing?

    Avatar of DieHardjagged
    Comment by DieHardjagged
    05:52 08/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Heres a translated text from me, since i only have read the text in German.
    Its also the newest Information i could find, its from the new GameInformer Magazine.
    Please forgive me if theres any spelling error, im far from being perfect with Translations.


    - Lara´s Age in this Game will be 21 years.

    - Its supposed to be a restart of the Tomb Raider Franchise, cause there is no "real" Lara-Model.

    - Some dying scenes are quite brutal:
    A rock crashes on Lara , jamming one of her legs, then another one falls on her head.
    In another scene Lara is stabbed by a man, who closes afterwards her eyes

    - There will be weapons like arrow and sheet, pistol and a shotgun.

    - No more "Lock-On" Target System, its History now.
    But now, completely free aiming is possible.
    Its Crystal Dynamics opinion, to be able to keep up this system with that in competition products.

    - In the play process, Lara will receive new tools and equipment, which correspond to its abilities.
    Likewise Lara becomes even more athletically:
    In the beginning she cant reach a few Areas, but later its possible, since she gained more strengh

    - Its possible to combine Items in the Base-Camp to create new Object
    Furthermore you can access here the "Skill System" to upgrade Laras Abilities.
    The Camp can also be used to quick Travel from one Point to another to also minimize the "Backtracking" to already visited Places.

    - Lara must eat and drink to survive.

    - There are also other living People & people from the Ship Crew, wandering around on the Island.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:51 09/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Thanks for the info it might actually be worth renting.

    I bet they screw up the story "again" though.

    Avatar of redscarnova
    Comment by redscarnova
    05:19 08/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    wow that's nice

    Avatar of phisaki
    Comment by phisaki
    05:19 08/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    I'm all for this current incarnation of Lara Croft. Dirty sexy... yum

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:59 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    boobs => macho salad

    Avatar of tho
    Comment by tho
    05:44 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    It's just me or she looks a lot like Fang from FFXIII? Btw~ she looks amazingly sexy now *-*

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