Top 10 Things the Japanese Don’t Want to Hear About

bored-girl-by-mineji

Those aspiring to make interesting conversation with the Japanese (or at the very least hoping to avoid boring them to tears in a conversation they are too polite to end) might do well to consult the following ranking of the top 10 most boring topics of conversation to Japanese ears.

The ranking (with votes cast for each in brackets):

1. Bragging about themselves (5,237)

2. Waffling about somebody you don’t even know (2,553)

3. Babbling about some geeky hobby (1,633)

4. Moaning about something or other (1,553)

5. Blathering about politics or business (1,080)

6. Going on about a show you haven’t even seen (837)

7. Preaching on about some spiritual claptrap (564)

8. Gossiping about showbiz stuff (405)

9. Prattling about their work (316)

10. Going on about their family (278)

In light of these results it might be wise to brush up on the latest Aya Hirano gossip – ideal for NEETs and hikikomori with no job or family to speak of.


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    Avatar of Alan P.
    Comment by Alan P.
    14:52 27/11/2010 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    These all sound like topics anyone would be annoyed with.

    Avatar of DK
    Comment by DK
    15:09 27/11/2010 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Sankaku: pointing out the obvious since god knows when.

    Avatar of DRYO
    Comment by DRYO
    03:00 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    that sentence didn't helpéd at all douchebag

    Avatar of TK-Chan
    Comment by TK-Chan
    14:51 27/11/2010 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    And I thought I'd see something more interesting...like "talking about how china/America/Korea/Yemen(WTF?) is better than japan..."

    Avatar of Dia
    Comment by Dia
    16:36 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Note that weather isn't listed!

    Avatar of TheBeast
    Comment by TheBeast
    06:01 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    @Dia

    in every samurai anime i've ever seen, they always obsess about the wind picking up/changing. that is probably why they don't mind talking about the weather.... emo buddies? naw, i jest.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:09 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    More interesting, not insulting

    Avatar of Yoshii-kun
    Comment by Yoshii-kun
    15:28 27/11/2010 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    *looks at Top 10*

    So they'd rather talk to mutes?
    Cause as far as normal conversation goes, that's pretty normal.

    And to cure #1: Stop using "I" in every sentence :D

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    17:34 27/11/2010 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    I guess we now know exactly why rape is like saying "Hello" in Japan. Anything else would be too boring for them.

    Avatar of alidan
    Comment by alidan
    17:09 27/11/2010 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    in all seriousness, the fuck do you talk to them about?

    geeky hobby? thats every fucking hobby there is. and if its not geeky? than its bragging about yourself.

    see my anime hobby... dont like that? how about computers? no, well fuck... how about we talk about how much we excersize, and what you can do with it? what thats bragging too?

    ok how about the pop culture than... the fuck you mean you dont want to hear about it? ok how about world news? i see its all pop culture or politics...

    than the fuck you want to talk about? you want me to talk about you, because that way its not bragging? well... GO FUCK YOURSELF

    if anyone never understood why there are 3 million (some figures) neets and hikkis, than they need to look no further than this, because by the logic in this poll, there are 3 million of them, but the rest are sympathizer, who understand them.

    Avatar of toyNN
    Comment by toyNN
    16:35 27/11/2010 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Not quite mutes - they appear to give the go-ahead for discussing the *weather*...

    Avatar of Shippoyasha
    Comment by Shippoyasha
    17:52 27/11/2010 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    lol Alidan. That is kinda true actually. People sometimes are too scared of 'standing out' or causing inconvenience so sometimes, you can get a bit of a communications block with many Japanese people.

    That said, I'm actually one of those people... In Japan, being silent in a crowd is normal. Over here in America, I'm apparently a super-introvert... It's not like that in every prefecture or cliques of people, but I find it that Americans tends to be way more open about conversation than just walking up to a Japanese due to talk random crap and have fun. It can get intimidating if everybody in a room (or even a theater, sports event) are largely tight lipped.

    Avatar of Shippoyasha
    Comment by Shippoyasha
    19:28 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Sorry. I should have elaborated. But yeah, even laughing or emoting while watching something is sometimes not done if a crowd is too sullen for some reason. Strange as it is, even in mixed martial arts events or boxing or pro wrestling events, the crowds can get uncomfortably quiet so sometimes you have entire events where all you hear are a few rabid fans making noise. What you get in Japanese crowds in public usually is a murmur. That will probably sound strange to westerners.

    I get that people should try to be respectful in public venues and all, but the Japanese seems to take it to an extreme sometimes. While in most western nations, things can get pretty rowdy and it seems people have no qualms about talking or chatting away or emote quite a bit. This is actually why I watch movies at home instead, but I digress.

    It is just that it gets silly if you have something like a stadium full of people, and with some events, it is DEAD silent. The funniest ones I've seen to date is a stadium of 40,000 being near dead silent. I guess that's why they have cheering teams willfully make noise on baseball stadiums. Or it'd be dead silent in some matches..

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:55 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Yeah, I was thinking the same... it's just a litany of them not giving a tumbling fuck about anything modern or contemporary or about the person whom they are talking to.

    Following this logic, the only thing they want is the person who they are talking to to talk to them ABOUT them. How ironic, considering #1.

    Avatar of alidan
    Comment by alidan
    19:14 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Shippoyasha
    17:52

    please elaborate on this section

    "...Japanese due to talk random crap and have fun. It can get intimidating if everybody in a room (or even a theater, sports event) are largely tight lipped."

    specifically

    "...theater..."

    i get what you mean in your post but i had to pick out talking in a theater? i mean loling i get, crying i get too, but talking? if we are thinking of the same thing i really don't get it.

    Avatar of VVayfarer
    Comment by VVayfarer
    21:05 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    alidan 17:19

    While Artefact pointed out the fault in premises, even if all of the topics on this list couldn't be used, you could still

    1. Joke
    2. Flirt
    3. Talk about whatever both parties have in common
    4. Talk about philosophical stuff
    5. Have a completely random conversation

    etc.

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:19 27/11/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    they left talking about the weather....which is #1 for me...

    Avatar of Artefact
    Comment by Artefact

    Most of you seem to have overlooked the fact that most of the respondents implicitly approved of the subjects at the bottom of the list...

    Avatar of Rethardus
    Comment by Rethardus
    22:13 27/11/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Most of you seem to forget that a vote only applies to one option. And that the numbers indicate what is hated by the most of the people, not a list of topics ONE person hates...

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:46 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Let's see, that leaves:
    1) Weather
    2) Food
    3) Sex
    4) Quantum Physics...

    Oddly enough, the first three are even more cliche than the top 10 list. So I guess if I want to enthrall my Japanese partner I should talk about quantum physics?

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:15 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    still leaves sports

    Avatar of TheBeast
    Comment by TheBeast
    05:53 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    if you are a man trying to chat up another guy, he would probably like being complimented on his clothes then asking his advice on interesting stuff in the city like what they do for fun and stuff.
    if you are a man trying to chat up a girl, all you have to do is flirt. girls like you to talk about them and listen to what they say.
    either one should do for a visit to the country. after all if you are visiting from another country you probably aren't looking to be life-long buddies with the guys and probably not looking for a wife among the girls.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:11 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Or talk about a show that you HAVE seen, which wouldn't be hard if you watch a little bit of tv.

    Avatar of Darkrockslizer
    Comment by Darkrockslizer
    05:03 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Still, I'd put this list completely upside down for me.

    Japanese sure are a boring bunch.

    Avatar of VVayfarer
    Comment by VVayfarer
    01:12 29/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Alidan - Indeed, most of them would require specific circumstances to work. However, the third one - talking about whatever both parties have in common - is almost a sure-fire method regardless of the circumstances.

    None of the options on the list actually deny this. The "geeky hobby" thing wouldn't matter if both parties shared it, and making sure not to talk more than the other party would take care of the rest. Bragging and moaning can be avoided without much trouble, I'd assume.

    Avatar of alidan
    Comment by alidan
    02:28 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    ok 1 by 1

    VVayfarer
    21:05

    1. Joke - you are thinking of an american joke, and also, you dont open with a joke unless you are already talking to them or know them... at least i never see that used.
    2. Flirt - taking a guess i'm a man for this example and there is a woman. now on the 1-10 scale of looks and money, unless you are a 10 in money and at least within +-1 of the woman in looks, they find that peobably more annoying than if you went up to them with the opener of "so how about this pm, what you think about this [random policy]" and it also end up in bragging to try to get laid.
    3. Talk about whatever both parties have in common - this would involve at least 3 of the above, and possibly bragging
    4. Talk about philosophical stuff - if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? thats all that really comes to mind that is also easy to type.
    5. Have a completely random conversation - HI my dick is itching, so how is that hamburger, and what would the world look like with a purple sky... would our skin be blue...

    Artefact
    20:31

    ok im going to go through that list with my opinions on each topic with 10 being what they want to hear most and 1 least.

    1. Bragging about themselves (5,237) people who do this to often need a special place in hell.
    2. Waffling about somebody you don’t even know (2,553) ok this is really annoying
    3. Babbling about some geeky hobby (1,633) ok HOW THE FUCK IS THIS WORSE THAN 10,9,7,5 and 4?
    4. Moaning about something or other (1,553) i dont know about any of you, but i know im most uninteresting and entertaining when im bitching about something that i know allot about, almost like a comedian that knows what they are doing.
    5. Blathering about politics or business (1,080) jesus middle of the road huh? not bad not good.
    6. Going on about a show you haven’t even seen (837) ok...ok...ok... people would rather listen about god, than listen about some stupid shit on tv?
    7. Preaching on about some spiritual claptrap (564) holy shit... how the hell is this not number 1, only more annoying than a guy screaming he has a huge dick
    8. Gossiping about showbiz stuff (405) ok, this is probably the first thing that i would find interesting, grated i hate pop culture.
    9. Prattling about their work (316) seriously, people want to listen about you pushing papers, how stupid your fucking boss is, and how you whould run it?
    10. Going on about their family (278) who the fuck wants to listen about your family unless you have a more fucked up family than any cilbrity (wow thats spelt wrong)

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:43 27/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I guess there's still talking about the one you're talking to, and of the events that have happened when you were together. So you can't really talk to someone new to you about anything but the weather.

    Avatar of Marik
    Comment by Marik
    20:46 27/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    haha, that ranking pretty much destroys conversation itself :))

    Avatar of rei_yuriko
    Comment by rei_yuriko
    00:05 28/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    I think the key to most of it is that one has to pause and let the other person talk. Instead of drowning on about a show the other does not watch ask if the other has seen it and if not leave it at "oh well it is really good you should watch it" or something like that if one goes on too much one is just pleasing oneself.

    As one tests out topics one has to see if the other shares one's interest if the other does WIN if not move on. One only has a problem when one doesn't notice or care about the other not having knowledge or interest in the area of chosen conversation and one continues to talk at the other.

    This mostly happens when one is egotistical or just has a social impairment such as autism.

    Avatar of Neko Musume Classic
    Comment by Neko Musume Classic
    10:00 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Rei hit the nail on the head.

    "Hi, I'm (Blank), what are you interested in?"

    "Hentai."

    "..."

    Avatar of Abel Liegod
    Comment by Abel Liegod
    05:57 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    What, they dont mind hearing about NUKES?

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:24 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    then what a fuck do hey talk???

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:03 29/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Common interests ever heard of it?

    Avatar of King Tiger
    Comment by King Tiger
    15:48 27/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    4. Moaning....

    i take it the sex is silent over there~ /end lulz

    Avatar of Bond Travolta
    Comment by Bond Travolta
    16:52 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    They themselves don't like their porn? Neither do I. And we think only SE doesn't listen to consumers.

    I don't mind so much the 2D doing it, but their real 3D porn could use a help with the actresses not trying to speak like a retard, with low-pitched voice when their voices are big. Also stop moaning just for the heck of it while making anencephalic faces while being fucked. Some of the women are great, sure, but still look like retards when they do this.

    Avatar of Hazama
    Comment by Hazama
    16:31 27/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Pfft.

    Avatar of Darkrockslizer
    Comment by Darkrockslizer
    05:12 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    You can try out their porn over the net sometimes.

    It really is dull - even if the cover seems to be representing a theme so bizarre and perverted that you'd expect the contents to be beyond your wildest dreams and expectations.

    Avatar of Shippoyasha
    Comment by Shippoyasha
    16:02 27/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Believe it or not, Taiga, most Japanese people seems to hold a steady respect for foreign culture. It's always the hardliners, true racists and the political right that go on about some Japanese superiority and racist attitudes towards foreign nations, foreigners and immigrants.

    Funny thing about the way Japan kind of has an air of xenophobia and slight racism all around is because the government dating back to the feudal eras and during the days of WW1 and WW2 were pushing an agenda so they can find excuses to invade and take over foreign lands. As always, politics seems to overshadow how the actual civilians feel about it. And sadly, many civilians buy into that propaganda.

    Sadly, something similar is happening in the US with the Tea Party trying to represent the vast majority of Americans who do not share such extremely nationalistic, racist views.

    Comment by Anonymous

    how is korea better than Japan?

    Korea is a nation of fools

    Avatar of TK-Chan
    Comment by TK-Chan
    15:23 27/11/2010 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Whether it is true or not, I'm pretty sure it would bore and insult the Japanese.

    Oh, by the way thank you for insulting my mother country. I couldn't insult my own country without your help.

    Avatar of yaku
    Comment by yaku
    15:24 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Don't mind him/her, not only he opens his mouth without thinking first he's also too much a scaredy cat since he uses the anon account.

    Nice to see another comrade, though.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:38 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    I wish people would stop generalizing a large mass of people. It disappoints me that one cannot correctly comprehend a sentence, but to insult an ethnic group through generalization is an abhorrence towards humanity.

    Avatar of shiroki
    Comment by shiroki
    16:03 27/11/2010 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Earth is a planet of fools

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:04 27/11/2010 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Hey. Penguins are good people. Let's not generalize.

    Avatar of TheBeast
    Comment by TheBeast
    05:57 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    the only country that i really generalize about the people is china. the ones in america are good folk, from what i have encountered, but as far as china is concerned, this sight has ruined them for me... china is even below afghanistan in my book.

    Avatar of Darkrockslizer
    Comment by Darkrockslizer
    05:06 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Dolphins too. Don't make it seem like avians are the only worthy Earthlings!

    Avatar of yaku
    Comment by yaku
    15:29 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    @Darkrockslizer:

    I'm not so sure about dolphins though:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/3323070/Killer-dolphins-baffle-marine-experts.html

    Avatar of yaku
    Comment by yaku
    14:57 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    But... but... number 3 is what I can only talk about! D:

    Now honestly I don't actually mind any of these topics as long as they're used in moderation. More than once I thought meeting another girl gamer/otaku would be great since we share the same interests only to be turned off when all they can talk about is naruto or kingdom hearts.

    Avatar of 404mage
    Comment by 404mage
    15:42 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    You just haven't found the right girl. >:D

    Avatar of yaku
    Comment by yaku
    17:49 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    If only I could find the right guy so we could go on a date and actually NOT talk about any of these topics lol.

    Avatar of 404mage
    Comment by 404mage
    03:02 28/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Haha, can't blame you there!

    I fear that I'm pretty guilty of number three, but I usually try to keep it around people that I have that commonality with.

    Avatar of TK-Chan
    Comment by TK-Chan
    15:05 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    "O.M G remember that time when Naroootu and Sasuke had like their lips right met to each other and all? Yaaa I thought I waz going to faint! And- and- Reeekoooo is soooooooooooo HAWT.

    Touhou? Wut is that? is that like a name on Naroootu or something? Oh! Oh! Oh! And hinata x naruto is soooooooooooo KAWAEEEEEEE. KYAAAA owo"

    I know what you mean.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:49 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Perhaps try someone of legal age...

    Avatar of yaku
    Comment by yaku
    18:28 27/11/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    In my experience age doesn't matter if a person is an annoying fangirl they stay that way. Just look at all those Twilight moms.

    Avatar of yaku
    Comment by yaku
    17:48 27/11/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    FFFFFF-AAAAGHHGHAGGAGAHSGHAGAGSGAHGGAHGAAAAA!!!

    Yeah just like that =_=

    Avatar of Shunrei
    Comment by Shunrei
    22:58 11/06/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    oh no that means you are a..ehm, nerd, sorry







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