“Only a Confession From a Man Will Do, And Flowers Too!”
- Categories: Japan, News
- Date: Nov 8, 2010 18:25 JST
- Tags: Dating, Marketing, Marriage, Money, Relationships, Statistics
80% of Japanese women agree that is only proper that the man confess his undying love to them and not them to he, whilst a near majority expected an accompanying token of his affection in the form of flowers or something shiny and precious.
The survey itself covered single employed Japanese women aged 21-34.
When asked “Do you want the man to make a confession of love to you? Or would you like to confess to him?” an overwhelming 77% of these women wanted the man to confess to them and only 2% would want to confess themselves.
Possibly this insistence on being asked out is the reason only 33% of women questioned reported being asked out in the last year.
When asked out, there appear to be a few aces prospective suitors can play – women asked “When he confesses his love to you, is there anything a man can give you which will make you unthinkingly answer ‘yes’?” gave a number of suggestions; 46% said a bouquet of flowers, 43% a ring, 28% “accessories,” 22% a necklace and 16% a watch.
The florist industry’s marketing efforts seem to have done their job; women asked about their preference for flowers gave such responses as “I’d be more concerned if he gave a gift which was too expensive” and “Because it conveys a sentiment mere money can’t express.”
In sum, for Japanese women at least it appears only a flower or ring wielding man asking them out on bended knee is the proper way to start a relationship – little wonder so many are single.
Yandere Simulator Gets Personal
Naruto SUN Storm 4 OP Endlessly Energetic
Saijaku Muhai no Bahamut Hardly Draconic
Splatoon Squid Sisters Invade NicoNico Tokaigi 2016
Top 9 Anime of 2015, According to IGN
Rena Momozono’s Hot Hardcore F***ing Eloquently Titled
Rance Hikari o Motomete Battles Hard
Final Fantasy XV “Might As Well Be An FPS”
Dimension W Spreads It Open
Okasare Hero Strategically Sexy
Studio FOW Alice H-Short “Truly Mad!”
Uppers PV “All About The JKs!”
Danny DeVito Desired For Great Detective Pikachu
Kantai Collection Movie PV Bright & Cheery
Zelda: Twilight Princess HD Story Trailer Rather Redundant
Slimy Yuusha Marudea Figure
Top 20 Most Romantic Anime Confessions
Shinmai Testament Burst BD Running A Fever
Anti-Demon Fox YUZUHA Rather Bestial
Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 Xtremely Exhibitionist
Goddess of Twitter “Pink & Perky!”
Serene Horo Cosplay Pure Gold
Iona Ero-Cosplay by Komugi Taking on Water
Cute Kashima Cosplay Full of Elegance
Umaru Ero-Cosplay by Asami Hamsterific
Goddess of 2ch: “Pink & Soft All The Way!”
Kuroneko Cosplay by Mikehouse Full of Life
Busty Hotaru Cosplay Delightfully Delectable
Adorable Ati Cosplay by Kaieda Kai Kemonomimi Chaos
Momo Velia Deviluke Cosplay Bursting With Bridal Beauty
I don't really understand all the double standards here; if women want equality, then they shouldn't ask for special treatment, and if women want special treatment, they shouldn't be tooting the equality horn.
As a woman, this completely perplexes me. I don't know what's the big deal about the guy asking the woman out and giving gifts (and WHEN he confesses? Seriously? What do these women think this is, a shoujo manga?!) in the first place--I've done the instigating in every relationship I've ever had, and I've never found gift-giving to be mandatory. It's certainly nice, but it's something that should be done because you want to, not because you feel that you have to.
And I've found that when you receive gifts, it's more fun to give just as many in return. :)
I like your name Jennifer.
White Knights are hypocrites and in actuality, the real sexists because they refuse to give up their age old ideals of women.
If a woman wants to fight with a man, let her fight. She has equal rights to pick a fight and equal rights to receive pain. But noooo, the white knight intervenes (hoping to receive some in return).
White knights are just awkward and embarrassing... at least good old chauvinists are funny.
I don't quite agree with letting her fight, though. While stopping her might be sexist, it's also a reasonable decision unless you KNOW she's as capable as the man. That said, I don't think I'd let a pugilistically impotent man fight an angry martial arts' master, either.
It's easy to explain the double standards. Most women only demand equality when it suits them and cry "Sexism!" when it doesn't.
They don't want equality, they want supremacy.
I'm not quite sure about this 'majority of women' you're referring to. I'd say most women don't give shit, while the sadder and more pitiful of feminists do. Also, many REAL egalitarians are female.
I did read it and agree.
Well, the old feminist movement is pretty much history since it reached it's goal. What we have today is a mostly a bunch of lying, blackmailing statistics forging female supremacists, or femnazis as we like to call them. There might be still real feminists among them who believe the lies they get fed, but probably not much.
I refer to the majority of women who demand equality, not the majority of all women in general.
There are a lot women like Jennifer Darknight who know quite well that they are treated equal to men or even are preferred in most of the civilized world and therefore are indifferent to the feminist movement.
The femnazis know that as well but don't give a shit - and they make up the majority of the feminists. Their forged statistics and fucked up activities prove that time and again.
"There are a lot women like Jennifer Darknight who know quite well that they are treated equal to men or even are preferred in most of the civilized world and therefore are indifferent to the feminist movement."
I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm indifferent to the feminist movement as a whole--I appreciate what it did in the past, since, without it, I wouldn't be able to vote or get any real work outside of being a good 'ol woman makin' ma mayn a sammich...but it's developed into something far beyond what it once was. The original idea of the movement was to give women the same rights men do--that's all. It was a completely egalitarian movement back in the day.
...like, in the 20's.
It's this 'modern feminism' bullshit that I hate, and are the so-called 'feminists' of today. It is true that there are instances where women are treated less equally than men, but it's not on such a large scale that they make it out to be, and it's mostly based on old-fashioned and outdated ideas about gender roles, rather than any real maliciousness. I'm pretty sure a lot of guys don't just wake up and say "Hahaha, time to subjugate some innocent wimmin this mornin'", though there are probably a few dickheads who make the male gender look bad on a daily basis by putting women down for their own sick schadenfreude, but then, the same can be said about the feminazis. Regardless of gender, it's these few people who believe in their gender's power and supremacy who make the rest of their gender look bad, and cause screams of sexism and inequality on both sides of the fence in regards to everyone in that particular gender (all women are sexist, all men are sexist, etc).
I'm indifferent to the call of special treatment and other such shit...
But if we're going to go with the old definition...you know, what it was meant to be? The whole 'real equality' thing without the added padding? Sure, count me in.
And for both genders, please. >< It's not just women who need it, you know.
...
Wow, that was a lot longer than I thought.
TL;DR to the max.
Ugh. That just makes me sick.
And pretty much shits all over the women who really *do* want equality.
It's people like this that make me ashamed to be a woman sometimes ><
Damn, Jennifer, you're awesome.
I agree with your last phrase. ^^;
Well it's hard to not yell sexism when someone tells me to go to the kitchen and make them a sammwich :D
Now jokes aside, women should really cut the crap down with this old fashioned ideas about dating, like the man's got to pay or they've got to give you flowers. Personally I'd feel like an asshole if the guy paid for the bill in the first date and rather split it; nobody is made of money. Gifts for asking out? unless the guy was an old fashioned romantic (there are still some) I'd think "WTF it's the first date we barely/don't know each other" and freak out a bit.
The problem also goes the other way, though. There's still the assumption in society that a woman asking men out is a slut/easy/gold-digging or something is generally wrong with her, and I can see that everywhere; here is no exception. Hell, some men feel their manhood is threatened when a woman is proactive like that, so I don't find it surprising that these Japanese women just sit on their asses and wait, because Japanese men encourage the old ways too.
I think if you really wanna do something romantic, do it because you want to show your partner your love, not because you must meet some bullshit-standard of romanticism; whether your a woman or a man.
@Rena I think it's all about what both you and the man are comfortable with. I also have no problem whatsoever with romantic gestures and the guy stepping up to it as long as he does it because he ended up liking you a lot or something along those lines.
*applauds*
However, I must say that I'm old-fashioned a little about the first date, if it's a serious one, that is. If a man pays on the first date it just leaves a good impression to me, maybe because it was still the matter of politeness when I was a child. But it's not like I was dissapointed if we split the bill. It feels more comfortable actually. An I have no problem to pay for a man, too. It makes me happy to do so if I really like the person.
But I think it's a matter of how serious a relatioship is, too. It's not woth it if you're just out for flirt, IMHO.
well said schrobby well said *claps hands*
at least theres a female out there that understands the man side of relationships.
Females asking for equality isn't what is most striking in this article though (this is a big part though. Dont get me wrong. I find that females want everything, special treatment, equality and everything no matter what. For some reason, I dont think women in general don't understand that women can't get everything or else that would make his man a slave. When a man becomes a slave, the women complains about that to. There is no winning in that scenario. Women need to compromise and until they understand that, this whole idea of equality is very messed up and us men wont accept being slaves.) I however, will never understand why women can't also confess too. I dont think women understand how embarressing or how stressful it is to confess. Until women try, this article will always remain true. No wonder why you have all this crap about women asking for equality. This is not about equality. its just self fish in my opinion. Women need to realize that if they confess to a man, its pretty much the same as a man confessing to a women. There is nothing special. In a lot of these cases it seems, the women are just hopless and thats just sad. Unless women start going through everything that they do tyo try and get a girl, women will always be selfish like this. Women and their complexities is what makes relationships so impossible as well as making otokus perfer 2d girls. No, it isn't because of anti-socialization or shyness. Guys can get over that when they know they can see a naked girl. The complexities that girls brings into a relationship is just to much to deal with. (Yes Im single and a virgin, in case anyone wants to flame me.) But this is just to hard to dispute as fact and people here know it.
Gift giving is not mandatory, but it is expected which is why it is mandatory. If the man doesn't give a gift, or gives a gift to cheap, theres all this mental war that goes on in the women that askes a bunch of irrelevant questions that can and usually causes breakups. Women in general should just be like men: simple and a gender that tries everything not to complicate matters.
^you've got more balls than I do, and I'm a guy lol
I've yet to confess, but then again, I've yet to meet someone who's worth confessing to, but I think I'd have trouble even in that situation.
Well, you won't know until you try, right? :)
Though in truth, I've just had the pleasure of mostly dating shy, nerdy guys (Not that I can say much...I usually turn out more nerdy than they are, especially in the video games department). My current boyfriend, for example...
If I didn't say something, we'd both be looking at each other awkwardly for many more months before he made a move...I've never been known to be patient. XD;
*facepalm* i want a girlfriend now
Anon *facepalm* me too
Confessing and talking is totally different matter, especially with one we truly love
They demand equality, yet clearly taking courtesy and chivlary for granted, or even as a 'should be'.
Double standards.
Double standards everywhere.
You're a moron. Equality is for rights, not for wishes or prefferences.
The same way it's EQUAL to be able to keep your name after marriage even though most women PREFFER to take the man's name. And those who choose to keep it aren't infringing on anyone's rights, let alone males's right in The truth is, men also want to be the ones who ask, or who confess. I knew examples where the woman asked the guy to marry him, and he was OFFENDED that he lost his chance to do it himself.
You know if sentimentality was important to these women, they'd have voted for a poem or something instead of some flowers which you can just buy.
I also find it funny that they consider everything else worrying because it may cost alot of money when you can easily get excessive flower bouquets going into the hundreds of dollars.
Confession itself doesn't need to be accompanied by anything according to survey and I agree. Somebody gives you "his/her heart" - what else would you want? Even Japanese women can't be THAT greedy to spoil the moment with materialistic things.
However, you've got a point there but I don't know if a poem is a good idea. Yes, I think a normal, sebsible woman would be happy that you care and did something really lovely for her but there are less and less manly men in the world, seems to me. Poem is nice thing but could turn out to be pretty awkward, too. But still would be appreciated I think. I like manly men and really hate poems but hey, I would still be happy as hell that the guy likes me enough to do something like that...
So basically, I wanted to disagree but still agree a little, damn. :D
I wonder what about if there's confession of a girly man to manly girl ? How'd it turn out ? or perhaps manly girl to girly man ?
*thumbs up*
you have to think of the possibility of a catastrophic breakup too.
at which point she may reveal EVERYTHING you have told her in confidence.
that poem stunt will mark you as the one to laugh at to everyone who knows you.
Ugh, now that would be nasty. But I can't imagine any healthy thinking person actually doing something like that. It's so immature and really, really nasty.
And could happen from both sides. There were a case where a girl sent erotic photos of her to her boyfriend and that jerk sent it to all his friends after they broke up; his friends spread it to the whole school and she became a laughing matter. She commited suicide, I think.
Such person is the most disgusting - man or woman, gender doesn't matter...
People should stay polite, even after the break up. And sensible and well-behaved people wouldn't laugh at the person for leaked information. It's all about people being jerks. Some people seriously make me sick.
I can't imagine I would do such something so... hurtful... No matter how bad the person was, there's no point in hurting him that way.
that was a break up on bad terms i guess, otherwise she made a bad choice going out with a bad person and giving that person something she probably shouldn't have. douche did the first thing any guy would don on ending a relationship on bad terms, make said picture as public domain as possible.
no, pictures aside, the worse is when its a fetish, or something wired about you or happened to you. i had a friend who was... lets say and ass and unliked, but managed to get a girl.
he shit himself in a fairly embarrassing way, but no one really knew about it. she some how got the info out of him. they broke up, on fairly bad terms. he wanted nothing to do, she wanted revenge.
that halloween, because it was close to that time, we were allowed to ware costumes to school, it was senior year, no hats or props in class room, no props in the hallways.
she got some of her friends and people who don't like him together, they wore adult dippers on the outside of there pance, with a date, im assuming when it happed on the ass and told people who asked to ask him, at first he had no fucking clue what it was about, but than he saw them... yea, we all had a good lol, but thankfully he was mostly over it by than.
point is people can be prickish, men will mostly do the crap like photos, but women, they can be vindictive, and almost stalker like, and unless they do physical harm, are over looked when it comes to harassing a guy.
lol they dont want a woman as a partner, but want a penis WITH balls attached, and a poem... sorry but you have to snip them off for that.
Poem? ...I'm not sure I'd fall for that, either; unless it was some nerdy or funny one to make me laugh.
While I also believe a bouquet is excessive, only one flower can be pretty romantic without looking like you're jumping the shark. You've got all that flower language going on too, so that's a nice way of staying on a budget while doing something nice to your girl.
Just don't do it if you think you have to.
That is a pretty high number, but I wouldn't have been surprised if it was 99% at the assumptions people still holds on about marriage.
As if economic conditions aren't harmful enough to the ideal of marrying, having kids and staying economically independent, there's these fairy tale assumptions about marriage still floating around in Japan. No wonder they have a critically low rate of marriage and childbirths.
On addendum, apparently Catherine (PS3/360) will explore this very fear of marriage from mens' perspective into a videogame form. Can't wait!
This reminds me of a tribe of brainless weirdos in WoW, which dwelled in Sholazar Basin and valued "shiny treasures" above everything else..
"only 33% of women questioned reported being asked out in the last year."
Land of the man-virgins...
I haven't had to confess undying love and i have had a few japanese women. Try being nice, and see what happens.
the amount of ridiculousness floating around in this thread is staggering.
first of all, they said they'd RATHER be asked out than do the asking, it doesn't mean they REFUSE to ask. of course a woman prefers the man to make the first move, it makes us feel good. but i still won't pass up the opportunity to ask out a guy i really like.
and are you guys really complaining about being told what will get you an AUTOMATIC yes? all you have to do is give her some flowers when you confess to get guaranteed agreement and you're seeing this as a bad thing? it's not like these women said they wanted diamond rings or yachts.
and being that boozed says he's "had" a few japanese women, i'm pretty sure that means he got to have sex with her. believe it or not, only immature superficial women go for the bad boys, that's not the type of guy a woman wants to settle down with. but a lot of you self-professed "nice guys" aren't as nice as you like to think you are. maybe take a minute to consider whether you're really being nice in respect to HER feelings and not just as a ploy to get her in bed. start treating women like fellow human beings and you won't have to choose between "virgin" and "ATM," you can have a relationship founded on mutual respect and effort.
I for one, would rather become a virgin than a cash cow.
No, it means jerks will get along with jerks (bad guys with two-timing bitches). If you're a nice guy and are such to your girl and she cheats on you, she's a jerk who doesn't deserve you.
Now if there are some issues between the two of you, then maybe some communication was in order; but still that's no excuse for cheating either.
I'd offer them a shiny needle to pop their childish fairy princess dreams and welcome them to reality.
And you know what else is sad? Majority of those woman would likely be better/happier if it were them to make the 1st move. Instead of ending up in their late 30's and single.
*w*o*w*
I am amazed by all those votes down I got for pointing out the natural rules of human affection.
1) Like sure, if a girl goes "hey don't buy me this cheap crap bring me there there buy me that diamond for $$$$" that means she's in it for your cash.
But, flowers? Seriously, there isn't a single girl who wouldn't like such a simple form of showing affection. If you're cheap you can always pick em up at a park or a graveyard and it'll be okay unless you tell it. :D
2) I agree that there are women into marriage just for the money. But there's also such things as living together with person you love without marriage bonds, or making a marriage agreement which does not force you to share any financial bonds, thus you keep your own cash at divorce.
Personally, I think the latter type of contract is the best way to make sure if the person you love wants you or your property.
3) Surely there are old societal traditions but most of women are INSTINCTIVELY inclined to be the passive gender and anticipate step forward from the man.
I mean, look at animals. How often you see doggies with wee-wees out chasing their love affections and how often you see the contrary?
Bah, even if a woman with such a character would make the 1st move herself - who'd want (being in sound mind and memory) to marry her to spend the rest of his life trying to re-educate her, helping her to correct her character, which is full of parasitic ideals?
yeah, rather stay single than get my money milked out every day like some cow....
To be more cynical: you don't need to be an alpha, or nice, or kind, the only questions is - if you are rich enough? xD
"77% of these women wanted the man to confess to them and only 2% would want to confess themselves."
"46% said a bouquet of flowers, 43% a ring, 28% “accessories,” 22% a necklace and 16% a watch"
Seems most of the japanese women think it's not worth the hassle unless the man proves he can finance them an easy life.
@ the last couple comments -
Men shouldn't make moves on the girls they like?
Girl dreaming of a boy giving her flowers means she wants all your money? Seriously!?
You guys need to get out of your attics.
@anon 01:04
define alpha male >_>
Yes, because not denying it means I agree with it (please notice the sarcasm). What do you mean jerks are sexy but nice guys aren't? just because nice guys get cheated on by bitches that means they aren't sexy? Wow, I'm sorry but that's retarded thinking. I rather you didn't assume crap about which men we women think are hot or not, thank you.
As I said, if you're not satisfied, some communication is in order. Instead of being a retard and cheat on someone, you can either make up or break up and start anew. You're not supposed to cheat. Just like you don't kill someone just because you've got the natural reaction of wanting to do so.
Being nice secures you a place in the friend corner. Women tend to go for bad guys, then they complain about being treated like shit.
Kinda schizophrenic, I'll never understand that.
First things first, I need to go out and meet some women, for one.
wasn`t it about the confession/beginning of a relation ?
how come you jump so fast to cheating ?
Boozedimpulsegundam did you pay for the Japanese women
Is it lunch money :)
no Anon but your mom pays me
NICE guys finish last, are they even in the picture to begin with. Damn got to start becoming more of a badass
"...most of women are INSTINCTIVELY inclined to be the passive gender and anticipate step forward from the man."
I wouldn't say it's instinctive, but it is certainly a 'characteristic' of Japanese women, due in no small part to the insistence of their society into uplifting men as 'stronger', 'protector', 'provider', 'strict' and whatnot.
Since men have this status overthere, I think it's only natural they are also expected to man up and be the sexually aggressive gender, or as a Japanese might put it "take responsibility for the status bestowed upon them"
hahahaha good one diamonddust! But i want to see what "alpha male" anon has got, I already saw what his mom has
hey anon what do you think i meant by had?
@01:23 boozed
That you're no longer with them - assuming you typed the truth.
I know what you're trying to say. My point is this: whatever you have gotten by being nice, you can get more and of higher quality by being an 'alpha male'. Therefore, instead of instructing nerds to be nice, you should first tell them to get some confidence and leadership and whatnot.
Being a 'leader', confident, and making decisions for one's group - assuming authority, that is - are all qualities of an alpha male, and make most acts of 'niceness' counter-productive. If you want to be 'nice' and alpha, you'd have to take into account a shitload of stuff which isn't fun if you're just looking for sex.
Wow, took you long enough. Oh how your witty repartee has cut me to the quick. Oh wait, no it hasn't. Actually i am still with one of them. But i still make time for your mom because she pays well.
oh and fyi even though there is only 1 woman in my life i maintain good friendships with all of the women i have been with
@boozed
Being nice doesn't get you sex. If you want that, being an alpha male does the trick.
@yaku
Not quite right - cheating is a so-called natural reaction to being unsatisfied with a relationship. When the temptation grows too strong for the girl's relative 'strength', she'll cheat. Some girls don't, of course, but those girls have rare circumstances, for example no real interest in a relationship or sex.
The first and most important thing - why do the hottest girls date 'jerks', and even MARRY them - usually doesn't have anything to do with cheating. The explanation is the nature of the female mind - when it works as it's supposed to, it tends to be attracted towards powerful men and other survival-oriented stuff.
Funny how the girls might (and probably will) cheat on a 'nice' guy, but I hardly ever hear of a girl cheating on a 'bad boy', even if they're in a serious relationship. Why is that? Because jerks are sexy, and nice guys aren't. ... you didn't deny this so I guess that's obvious.
02:51
Yeah, being a nice guy will net you a 30 to 99-year old that 'appreciates' your kindness. If that's what you want, go for it. I'm referring to sex and not serious relationships.
But think about it for awhile. Why do the hottest women date jerks? Because the jerks ARE the best they can get, that's why. They don't choose the 'nice guys' because those guys aren't attractive to them.
Think also about this: What kind of types are women more likely to cheat with? That's right. The bad boys.
This isn't to say nice guys can't get hot girls - this is to say nice guys shouldn't EXPECT such luck, unlike the so-called jerks. Seriously, saying it's better to be a nice guy is a damn fine way for nice guys to escape reality - but when they wake up, they'll feel like shit.
@ diamonddust 02:09:
"Nice guys finish last" -- in sex, this is true!
see the irony : bitching about women being single and not getting any hump while being a wow otaku .
That tribe is either the Murlocs or the furbolgs or whatever.
You're probably talking about the gorlocs/murloc-cousins...
I think he is talking about this quest:
http://www.wowhead.com/quest=12572 or it's daily version
God, WoW is horrible, I'm happy I quit xD
No need to waste time & money...
Having a NDS will be more than enough...
Lets start with Nene route..
Might be just a matter of being lazy. Would like the question asked of men.
Only 2% confess to the guy she loves ? Well... and the interesting things that can be conferred is there are things that more valued than mere money
It really surprised me that the 46% women who prefered flowers actually said they'd be concerned if they receive expensive gifts.
Seems the gold diggers make up about half of the female population. Probably the cuter half.
The poor guys have a 50% chance to fuck up right from the beginning, no matter what they do...
I guess it's a Japanese thing.
In the West, any woman who doesn't know you well would just be happy about it and grab your money instead.
But in Japan, the society is more collectivist and care more about overall well-being in different ways that wouldn't seem as a matter of course to us.
Remember that fat guy wanting to date a maid troll thread? In that case, the girl was also concerned of the customer willing to throw all his belongings away.
(plus, it's hard to make a living in there so a girl would prefer a guy who wouldn't spend his money without thinking - even if he'd give it all to her.)
@anon 00:48
I was talking about the "46% women who prefered flowers actually said they'd be concerned if they receive expensive gifts." part Schrobby was surprised about.
That is, about this one particular behavior of Japanese women, not women in general.
Also, I was talking about not only my experience. I, luckily, have avoided such a misfortune as "love", but many haven't. People at that mind state can do next to anything, especially if they lack experience; some repeat their mistakes over and over tho.
@Yamako
No, the odds are even worse. They have a 50% chance of getting no relationship at all due to too cheap or expensive gifts and only a 25% chance of getting either a good girl or a greedy bitch...
@schrobby D: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....
i guess i got to start paying for sex now
So men have a 50/50 chance of actually getting either a good relationship or some greedy bitch? No wonder the childbirth rate is so low....those kind of odds are A TRAP!!!!
Does anyone know if traps tend to demand as much as women? I have the feeling that the answer is no, but I have no means/sources to justify/defend such a fantasy.
"In the West, any woman who doesn't know you well would just be happy about it and grab your money instead.
But in Japan, the society is more collectivist and care more about overall well-being in different ways that wouldn't seem as a matter of course to us."
That is fucking bullshit, and you are just bad with women if that is your idea of them.
Nobody said they actually love the guys confessing to them. Maybe they really just want the a cow to milk. xD
And the 2% are the ones that really are in love (or the guys are extraordinarily good looking or rich xD).
Also its easier to say "No" to guys confessing to them instead of confessing and getting refused themselves.
why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free