“Why Do JRPGs Have Such Stupid Weapons?”
- Categories: Games, News
- Date: Oct 24, 2010 05:25 JST
- Tags: Bizarre, Character Design, Comparison, Guns, Image Gallery, RPG, Weapons
A discussion criticising JRPGs for their oft times bizarrely armed characters has recently been causing waves.
The discussion started with a series of complaints by western gamers about how “stupid” some of the weapon designs in Japanese RPGs are at times:
I was recently playing through Skies of Arcadia, Tales of Symphonia, and watching FFX, when i realized that there are some freaking stupid standard weapons in JPRGs. What are your favorites? The ones off the top of my head are:
Genis (Tales of Symphonia): A ball in a cup toy. Really. He fights with a ball in a cup.
Vyse(Skys of Arcadia): Uses a cutlass like a tonfa, not as much stupid, as potentially suicidal.
Waka (FFX): A beachball. No comment.
It’s a game, relax…
I understand that, but I am kind of commenting on that Japan has a very different culture than us, a culture where a beachball could be considered a weapon. Still awesome though.
Anyone who creates and/or uses a giant key for a weapon is completely mental, so I’ll go with Keyblades.
Ball in a cup is the best weapon ever. Clearly you have never owned one.
Kanji Tatsumi in Persona 4 uses desks and chairs as weapons.
Leena in Chrono Cross uses frying pans.
The characters in Earthbound use bottle rockets, yo-yos and broken baseball bats.
And all those weapons are fucking awesome. At least they get the job done.FFVII – megaphone; FFXIII – Snow’s coats; Eternal Sonata – umbrella.
Yes, yes, let’s all talk all kinds of shit about JRPGs. BOY they have some stupid weapons.
HEY I got an idea, why don’t we make a big list of all the different weapons found in Western games.
Number 1. Guns.
Number 2. …………….Oh wait. JUST GUNS.
Creative people sure are STUPID aren’t they???JRPGs have shown me some of the strangest weapons I’ve ever seen. Why the zaniness was initially funny, it doesn’t help one suspend his disbelief.
Yeah, good point. Screw imagination, alternative ideas, and humor. Lets just strap everyone with 9mm pistols and SMGs, and call it a day. -_-
If everything had to bind by real life rules we’d have… oh wait we already do.
First person Shooters and WRPGs.
Real Japanese weapons are not much of an improvement at times:
Not for the first time, the criticism was introduced to Japanese gamers to a mixed but not entirely dismissive reception.
However, Japanese gamers presented with these complaints do point out western weapons, both fantastic and real, are hardly any better:
Those left with a lingering impression that Japanese weaponry is any more or less idiotic than armaments elsewhere need look no further than the weird weapons gallery to dispel it.
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Kendama Ftw
Oh No the Ball Missed the Cup
But it's Ok Because the ball is attached to a string
+9000 for reference xD
Family Guy! XD
but this I'll admit no one likes creativity these days or what?
Yeah, that ball in a cup is so unrealistic compared to that gnome [http://www.testedcheats.com/images/stories/pc/Left4Dead2_PC/Left4Dead2_PC_Cheats_Gnome_Chompski_IMAGE.jpg] I was using against zombies in Left 4 Dead lately.
Weird weapons are fun. That's why it's fantasy. Without fantasy, there wouldn't be dreams, and without dreams, people would have no reason to live for.
mhm i agree completely i like "weird" weapons because of the innovation and ideas behind them apparently "western-rpg fans"(non JRPG fans) never heard of I.M.A.G.I.N.A.T.I.O.N!
My favorite weapon is still the Gibson EB-0 and Gibson Flying V
I like how the 1 guy tries to point out how western games have guns and...guns. Because it's funny, all the JRPG weapons may LOOK different but they function completely the same, usually the only difference is the value of the stats programmed into the weapon.
In reality variation is probably greater in the FPS.
Which is not true...
Is it not dead rising II where you can make a large amount of "guns", such as the drill bucket, paddlesaw and a friggen guitar w speakers. All which are good weapons to kill zombies.
im all of fantasy weapons. but three is a point where it goes from thats kind of interesting to thats fucking retarded.
the megaphone, is one
ball in a cup is two,
volly ball. i have had one spoked into my face and kicked into my face, all within a 5 foot range. the best they can do is sting.
its been such a long time sense i last played those games.
for anything 2d, retarded weapons are ok, even extremely retarded, because its usually just a word, but once it goes 3d there is also a battle action...
i mean shave stupid weapons, but at least let us see them as anything but "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, REALLY?" kinds of things.
you want to have a person chuck crackers at a person and have that a character, fine, but at least have it so it makes sense. he starts with soft light weight crackers, and is able to aim for the mouth. it doesnt to much dmg, but it distracts and possable chokes (stuns) and enemy for a roud or two.
through out the game he learns of harder crackers and better ways to throw them so he isnt limited to the mouth anymore, he can hit joints, and with some enemies that could do more dmg than traditional weapons.
dont give them a volley ball and say well shit its the most powerful wep in the game without a reason why.
The creators are already achieving what they intended to do.
Since they use weird weapons, you guys already had the images burned into your mind, and you'll take note of the weapons along with the characters.
In a sense, it shows a lot about their owners' personality; its actually a pretty good thing.
"I like how the 1 guy tries to point out how western games have guns and...guns. Because it's funny, all the JRPG weapons may LOOK different but they function completely the same, usually the only difference is the value of the stats programmed into the weapon.
In reality variation is probably greater in the FPS."
Ever played Monster Hunter? Ever saw how they are played? All the weapons play completely differently. If you say they are all the same, you are an idiot.
Also, instead of looking at the turn based games, try playing something like Persona 1. The weapons vary A LOT.
But seeing as you were basing your idea off of "realistic" action, maybe you should actually do some research. Series like Soul Calibur (yes I'm using that) are VERY Japanese but if you notice, they use their weapons very differently. Top the list, Castlevania, Bayonetta, Phantasy Star, all those games have very different weapons.
"JRPG weapons"
And this idiot talks about Monster Hunter, which isn't a JRPG. Soul Calibur, which isn't a JRPG. Castlevania, Bayonetta.
Wow, I didn't know JRPGs had such a wide spectrum.
”Which is not true...Is it not dead rising II where you can make a large amount of "guns", such as the drill bucket, paddlesaw and a friggen guitar w speakers. All which are good weapons to kill zombies.” You do realize DR 2 is a japanese game?
"And this idiot talks about Monster Hunter, which isn't a JRPG. Soul Calibur, which isn't a JRPG. Castlevania, Bayonetta.
Wow, I didn't know JRPGs had such a wide spectrum."
And yet Western RPGs of the same type fall into the same spectrum. FYI, hack and slash tends to be very different.
But seeing as you didn't read the post, the man seemed to drift into FPS, decidedly not an RPG. Seeing as he did that to prove his point on diversity, I saw no reason why not for me to do the same.
Name a single RPG game that is Western that does not deal in the same concept. Seeing as he need to go outside of that boundary to prove a point, then the point is moot.
You didn't prove that variation was greater in JRPGs though. You just stated that there are non-JRPGs with a whole range of variaty.
If I recall dead rising II in the trailer, there's this guy who wear a moose trophy head and go mowing zombies around. Wonder if that's possible?
Kendama, fuckers! KENDAMA! Do not ditch such aweness.
But serious. He's a mage. As far as I know, they could probbaly use magical sausages as enchanters.
Its is called a Kendama, and your not even supposed to fucking fight with it, it's for raising his other stats, do some fucking research before you dis the ball-in-a-cup.
All I know is that if i could kick balls at people and kill them, I'm game.
Unlike western games with more realistic settings the Japanese mean it when they call a game fantasy.
apparently some people are too dense to realize that Schrobby.
my point exactly all they are doing is complaining about somthing that has already been stated and is a know fact.
i thought we played those games exactly for that reason
http://img3.sankakustatic.com/wp-content/gallery/safe-misc-viii/jrpg-weird-weapons-019.png
Purple Dildo of Death...
My favorite weapon (and sex toy) in GTA:SA since it does more damage than a katana and baseball bat...
2-3 swings from it is enough to kill a person...
Hell, I blew up a car by 'Dildo-ing' it...
It really shines when there are Touhou characters fleeing for their lives...
Nothing like slamming that thing on a hapless Reisen when she's on the ground...
@Azure Xuchilbara:
I'm seriously plusing the the shit out of your comment. I was going to comment on that, but you beat me to it.
Thats why Final Fantasy is called 'Fantasy'. It's not suppose to be realistic.
I'm surprised Sehpiroth katana wasn't listed, than is a weird but awesome weapon.
That's because the Masamune is based off a real weapon (Technically it already is a real weapon). A katana isnt exactly fantasy, but it IS FUCKING BADASS
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masamune
Personally, I love FFX's weapons a lot. Of course the all-around goofiness around Wakka's weaponry had to fade but yeah.
+1 to guns and guns comment.
"Unlike western games with more realistic settings the Japanese mean it when they call a game fantasy."-Schrobby
i agree which is why i perfer a Japanese title over most western titles when they mean fantasy they really mean fantasy but those who lack intellect (and thus imagination) bash these titles for not being realistic enough which makes me upset =(
IMHO i play games TO ESCAPE reality not games that duplicate it (i.e. how westerners want/do it)
you can have fantasy, but dammit dont tell make a weapon like a rubber chicken in a 3d game the end all weapon, or damn near close to it.
see i like exotic weapons, or even weapons that seam retarded, like for instance the gun blade.
but i hate ones where you use a megaphone or the sort.
and as a whole the weapons need to be thought out better. or better explained. look at spoony and his reaction to the gun blade. besides his this weapon has no purpose in real life rant, if the weapon was better explained it would be a great thing for the game.
And i thought these kind of weapons better explain the character, more than their use.
Do polar bears shit in the woods?
Anyone who thinks a megaphone can't be deadly never went to the World Cup
So their having their periods because they don't like to think of out of the box/creativity/to used to the "Swords to guns fights?"
Houston we have a bogey, thats not a bogey sir, thats a literal large mass of flaming poobait.
@Russell
I lol'd
"see i like exotic weapons, or even weapons that seam retarded, like for instance the gun blade.
but i hate ones where you use a megaphone or the sort."
I thought the whole point of the megaphone was since the little cait Sith was directing the Moogle Doll (who were both remote controlled anyway making this all moot,) having a more effective megaphone allowed him to direct the doll better and therefore hit harder. It makes sense this way. Wakka's volleyballs start getting made out of stone and steel and having elemental enchantments and are being hurled at world record speeds which makes it seem like they'd do a lot of damage. Snow just punches, his "weapons" just enhance his damage dealing potential (stats) through technology and Symbology. A lot of these crazy weapons make perfect sense, and the ones that don't like improbably large boomerangs and Lulu's Fetishes just really follow the rule of awesome enough to get them a free pass from most of the more discerning critics.
That last picture, lol, i remember playing that game and using a dildo to whack girls
don't forget Bridget and her (his) yoyo!
Ahh yes but the yo-yo was originally a weapon used by Australian natives IIRC. It was only converted to be a toy much later.
Same thing goes for the boomerang.
I thought it was polynesian. I'd love to see a video of someone using a battle Yo-Yo IRL.
Goonies II had both of them and a slingshot to boot.
"Yes, yes, let’s all talk all kinds of shit about JRPGs. BOY they have some stupid weapons.
HEY I got an idea, why don’t we make a big list of all the different weapons found in Western games.
Number 1. Guns.
Number 2. …………….Oh wait. JUST GUNS.
Creative people sure are STUPID aren’t they???"
Whoever said this is a retard that deserves to die a horrible death. He obviously haven't played any WRPG since he just completely ignored Baldur's Gate and Diablo. THAT'S RIGHT! NOT GUNS BITCHES!
All Will Fall before Ball in a Cup!!!!!
2 balls in one cup?
lol. That Ball and cup reminds me of a manga where the girl uses the same thing as her weapon. Cant recall the name though. Anybody know? Took place in a school, she had a crush on a guy and had one year to win his heart, the friend was secretly the villain, not too many chapters?
Anyway, I like creativity of weapons. It is a game, doesn't have to be realistic. Imagination is nice
totally know what you're talking about... something about "silver maidens" but whoever the artist was needs to do hentai instead of ero IMO XD
J-Gamers should hit back at Western gamers and say all of their games are the same, with uninspired weapons that show no creativity whatsoever and are all riddled with bugs.
Fuck Western gamers, fuck them in their guns... Maybe WITH their guns.
Are we talking about RPGs only here? If so, I don't remember a gun in Dragon Age, Baldur's Gate or Oblivion. Maybe I missed 'em.
Don't forget the fact that all of their games come in two colors: dirt brown and gunmetal gray. Too gritty. Too dark. Too depressing.
Listen up you fucking retards: GRITTY AND DEPRESSING DOES NOT EQUAL REALISTIC!!!
There is nothing depression about Dragon Age. Gritty and bloody yes, but it is also very hopeful. Especially since YOU get to change things for the better!
It's still a jaunt round a bunch of rotting shacks, dank caves and crumbling castles. It's more medieval than fantastic.
Hummm... Nanamix, perhaps?
It almost reminds me of yattaman and his weapon
its a ball and a cup
For some reason I thought of "2balls 1cup". Hard to actually picture it, though. Y'know...
It's already been done
goatse.
I always figured it would actually be pretty deadly in the right hands, if it's even real. I always figured it was, even if it was just a ceremonial weapon IRL. I don't know either way. It's basically a metal ball that is flung out, no? That could do some good damage in the right place.
Meteor Hammer, anyone?
I see ur meteor hammer and raise u with a same weight knife at the end of it instead
Chainsaw on a stick(pole)? Oh, wait... That actually exists, and are readily available at hardware stores...
That's actually pretty nasty....if you don't mind the weight distribution.
Naw, you just have to have two chainsaws on each side of the stick
Or has that already been done?
*runs*
Ball in a cup is standard weapon compared to the black dude in the last pic who weilds a fucking giant purple dildo.
I dont know what you would do if you met a black guy with a fucking dildo in a hand trying to stab you with it. I would run, because it scares me so fucking more than a little girl with ball in the cup...
Carl Johnson chasing some Touhou girls with that thing while wearing a Gimp-Suit and a Keto Mask is scary as hell...
Heheh, the Touhou mod is great. ^_^
beehive on a stick.
richard simmons on cd.
driving a toyota.
3 creative AND deadly weapons. see! westerners can come up with creative weapons too!
now i just gotta get a gun incase those fail...
+10 for the Richard Simmons on CD thing. That's some nightmare shit right there.
It's like a facehugger attacking the ears.
But toyotas are Japanese
The ball in a cup toy weapon is similar to tying a rock with a rock and swinging it above your head. Get hit with one before complaining about it's uselessness.
It's great because it has a handle for better holding and as the string is attached to the handle you can pull back and retry if you miss your first throw or use it like a whip (I expect it needs more skills since you're need to hit them with the ball rather than any part of a whip).
Finally it's a string you can wrap around someone's neck.
Throw in fantasy magical durability increase and you can probably wrap the string around a sword and yank it away like a whip. Or make it a mono-molecular wire for sci-fi setting.
005.jpg Chakram from Xena Warrior Princess in larger form? Similar weapons exist in Chinese mythology as weapons for gods.
Forgot to log in, sci-fi setting, the ball contain a micro bomb, an eye-ball tracking item for the molecular wire, or a weight to pull the wire in the desired direction.
Aren't secret service and special operatives cool for turning common daily items into weapons of mass killing. They're able to think creatively about how to kill people with items.
Next ridiculous item can be a barbie doll to shove down someone's throat.
wait, i got it. it called FLAIL.
A weapon name with one letter missed from FAIL.
flail is a barbed ball chained to a wooden handle.
The chain is about 5 iches long, its too short to swing out like a whip retard.
Actually, Flails come in a variety of forms - they're based on farming tools, which consist of a long pole, a short chain (one or two links, just enough to be fully flexible), and a short pole or stick, which was used to beat the chaff out of grains. Technically, nun-chucks (or however they're spelled) are the closest relative of the flail.
The ball/cup thing is much closer to being a yo-yo type weapon. Yo-yos were originally a tribal weapon, which was adapted to a child's toy. Even then, it's still not very practical in a low-tech environment. In a high-tech one, you could set a spool inside the cup to "reel in" the ball for you, and release with a trigger, to be able to hit things with the metal ball, then pull back the cord to be able to do it again. Either way, it's not a very efficient weapon - more likely the sort of thing a rich idiot would try to use to show himself "more civilized" than other fighters, while simultaneously limiting himself, and getting his head beat in by some farmer with a 7-foot pole.
005.jpg is Tira from Soul Calibur - there's a lot of variety in the weapons in that game, but that one's my favourite. I was in a pseudo-SCA type group for a while, which used foam/padded weapons, and I made one of those things, just to see how it worked. (We had a lot of "experimental" weapons being used like that - one guy had a sword that was bigger than he was, and almost as heavy - another guy was using a 7-section staff for a while.)
They're not easy to use, and the middle of it doesn't block worth crap (what with being a giant hole...) but once you get used to it, you're pretty hard to beat by someone with just a sword type weapon. Some of the moves the game character does are actually workable, but others are completely impossible to do without hurting yourself.
Oh those naive idiots
Its not STUPID, its ORIGINAL!
Big difference, assholes...
Indeed sir. These people seem to lack any semblance of intelligence nor imagination.
The kendama reminds me Babbo from Mar Heaven ... but Babbo is way more cool...
lol!!! hahaha!! good reference!!
LOLOLOL the knife gun
I wonder how am I suppose to hold and shoot with the axe-pistol. I probably am going to say 'screw that' and just swing it.
ball in cup is used in the samurai warriors and dynasty warriors series too! Koei.
Hey, I have a kendama. What a hard toy to play.
Since when is Tira from a jrpg? Or were they talking japanese game weapons in general?
Also: quite a few of those weapons look...well...damn scary (especially that pitch fork looking thing)
Actually, if you add ki to the beach ball it can become a nuclear bomb. And it'll only hit the enemies, obviously.
Ball in a Cup!!
*sigh* if you say that the daggun (dagger and gun) is weird then the Lorenz Rifle and the Springfield Rifle Musket from the civil war (the rifles with a dagger on top) are weird... -.-!