A man who learned his prospective wife had secretly been working as a prostitute whilst he was dating her wonders whether he should dump her, or forgive her and continue the relationship.
The story begins with a 28-year-old man looking for advice – he has learnt that his 21-year-old university student girlfriend, with whom he had been contemplating marriage, had actually been working as a prostitute whilst dating him.
She apparently explained she “had intended to work at a maid cafe” but “ended up working in a brothel,” an easy mistake to make it seems.
His girlfriend offered a selection of excuses:
“I wanted the money.”
“My initial motivation was curiosity.”
“I had to turn it into a mechanical process to make it bearable.”
“I had too much free time and became lonely. It was fun talking to the other working girls.”
“I wanted to quit but I couldn’t as I heard they might expose me to my family. I was trying to think how to quit.”
Reportedly a significant number of Japanese students engage in prostitution ranging from “compensated dating” to traditional sex work – a situation apparently replicated in the nation’s schools.
In spite of the deception, the man doesn’t feel he can take the high ground:
To be honest, I have been to brothels many times myself. To think my girlfriend was doing that is harsh, but what can I say to her, as I’ve been to such places myself? I told her as much.
[…]
Part of me can’t trust her. I keep thinking ‘Can I expect to find happiness marrying a person who’d lie like this?’
Unsure as to what to do, the man took the obvious course of action and asked complete strangers on the Internet for their advice.
2ch has its say:
There’s no way you can love her, you idiot!
Impossible. Looking after this trash – give me a break.
Maybe as a sex slave.
Loving a cum-dumpster – what kind of fetish is this?
No. At best, sex friends.
She’s probably a psycho, give it a break.
If she’ll support you financially…
How can you love a sex machine?
If she’s a virgin…
I’d be a bit leery of marrying a girl who can put a condom on you with her mouth.
Whores are completely out. I wouldn’t even be friends with one.
If she’s hot and has no STDs…
Given the choice between a 20-year-old whore and a 30-year-old leftover, I’d take the whore.
There’s no point in asking all you creepy virgin-hunters anyway…
Would you drink from the gutter? That’s how it is.
All of the girls using online dating sites are earning on the side like that. Seriously.
If you handed me a cup which had just been filled with the semen of two of the lowest guys and told me “it’s OK, it’s been washed properly” I still don’t think I’d be drinking from that cup.
Remember – it’s almost certain her sense of money is totally messed up as a result of all this.
Girls as stupidly honest as this are a rarity. Most guys probably never find out what they married.
There’s a 100% chance of her cheating on you and I couldn’t think of her as a woman. You could use her as a ona-hole I guess.
Better than a woman in her thirties. All Japanese women are bitches anyway.
When I look at these brothel homepages and see these women putting that their dreams are to get married I am seriously disturbed.
Maybe their bodies are good, but most of these whores are cracked. Even if she’s just a sex friend she’s probably a psycho who’ll start calling you all the time.
I dated some of these girls. They were nice girls and earned more than I do, and paid for the date too. A bit sad really.
Depends on her motive. 90% just want the money to play around with anyway. No way.
Utterly impossible. Selling your body is the last resort. As if she tried everything before that.
Girls who think this is an OK way of making money have a major character defect. They’re sure to bring down those around them.
Would you fall in love with a toilet?
She sells her body to people. How can you possibly trust her?
I could love her if we shared interests, liked to talk, she had a nice body, was cute, could cook and was a nice person. But a girl like that wouldn’t become a prostitute, would she?
With porn stars and whores they’re all defective in some way – no morals or mental health issues.
Most of them are not OK in the head are they? The ones I went with really didn’t seem to know what I was saying even if they were hot.
First take her with you to a clinic.
“How can you love a sex machine?”
frequently. lol
LOL he can become her pimp and make money XD
Normally I’m a monogamous kind of guy but I can’t judge someone just because they do that kind of thing. It’s just silly.. though cheating is a different matter all together.
Sure I’d be distraught about it, but as long as she’s open about it(And told you about her profession or habits ahead of time)and the other party including yourself, your wife all agree. Then I see absolutely no problem it. Since one of the main basis of a successful and inevitably a happy relationship is open and connected communication amongst your significant other along with trust. Which if the trust isn’t well bonded between you two
As for the dating and her “job” behind his back and she’s the one pulling in the money and was told to stop he had better start finding an alternative way to keep he income flowing along if she claims to pull in that kind of money. And then in the other option where she doesn’t stop prostitution and continues to do it behind his back after “claiming” to stop there’s a whole different mess I don’t even want to get into and the answer should be clear as day to him at that point should he pursue the relationship that far.
So.. all in all it boils down to this(Or at least how I see it anyway), we ask ourselves, rather he would ask(Do note I’m giving the guy the benefit of the doubt since we do not know his full side of the story whether he did it during or before meeting her):
1. After learning or being told from herself that my future wife is a prostitute, can I see and trust her the same way?
1a. If yes, did you she tell you early on? If so, talk it over like civilized rational adults.
1b. If yes, but at the last moment, please consider your options here, but keep your mind open. The majority of things in life never come planned.
1c. If no, then you have your answer, and I wish you luck and you’re on your own here.
2. More of a follow up question but, should she decide to stop selling herself and she happened to be the main source of income. You had better be ready to be a man and start pulling in the money. If not, then deal with it or break it off. Because as much as a romantic idealist as I am, we live in a capitalist society(CAPITALISM HO!) and cannot merely live on “Love” alone.
3.Should I get a check-up before our first marital night together? (No brainer, should you question the cost of said check up refer to Question #2)
If you can answer these following questions and more to come and or be inspired from without hesitation then you sir at the very least, ready to prepare yourself for what’s to come.
tl;dr: Communication, trust issues and dealing with it and possible financial interruptions, oh and patience, lots of it.
ps. Jesus christ, I wrote alot..god dammit…
get the money NUB!
“Part of me can’t trust her. I keep thinking ‘Can I expect to find happiness marrying a person who’d lie like this?’”
this is so true. i think it’s best to stay away at her for awhile. then decide whether or not to stay with her.
consider he himself frequented brothels i believe they deserve each other.
Ladies don’t marry a guy who visit brothels they are the male equivalent -> whores except they are paying for it.