How to Use Kinect
- Categories: Games, News
- Date: Jul 22, 2010 10:12 JST
- Tags: Controllers, Marketing, Microsoft, Technology, Xbox 360
The vast number of conditions required to allow Kinect’s camera to successfully convert the player’s drunken prancing into in-game control are understandably not something Microsoft is keen to address frankly, but fortunately they have been summarised in illustrated format.
The rest of the list (sadly, the anime version is but a one-off) in crude yet scathing clip-art format:
Of the requirements, the amount of space needed is probably set to become the biggest sticking point.
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Suisei no Gargantia Pachislot Unveiled
Rin Hoshizora Nekomimi Seifuku Figure
Top 20 Ecchiest Shonen Jump Manga
Hatsune Mike Ero-MMD Stealthily Sexy
Star Ocean 5 English Battles Boisterously
Dragon Ball Super Quite A Hit
Gainax Selling Tomatoes: “Why?”
Black Desert Online Has Much Class
Shojo Tsubaki Trailer Brilliantly Bizarre
Gargantuan Saeko Sasaki Bikini Ero-Figure
Top 20 Hunkiest Pokemon
Wagamama High Spec Hot Indeed
Mayoiga Full of Mystery
The Empire of Corpses Gorily Grim
One Piece: Burning Blood Total Bikini Madness
Bakuon!! Wild & Rough
Milky Mimi Ero-Figure Deliciously Creamy
Dead or Alive Ero-SFM Doubly Dirty
Flying Witch “Cute But Boring…”
Kaine Cosplay by Yuricha Flawless
Kasumigaoka Utaha Cosplay Pretty Pure
Goddess of 2ch “Another Bathing Beauty!”
Tantalizing Hestia Cosplay Busts Out
Kashiwazaki Sena Cosplay Pure & Innocent
Minami Kotori Casino Girl Cosplay Takes No Chances
Shimakaze Cosplay by Ema Sakura
Harley Quinn Cosplay by Miyuko Colorfully Crazy
Sonico Ero-Cosplay by Yuka Hoshikage Super Sexy
Kasugano Sora Bunny Girl Cosplay Absolutely Admirable
Here are the Rules.
There are no Rules.
If you Play You will not enjoy it.
If you follow the rules, you wont have fun.
If you don't follow the rules, it wont work.
Actually it seems more like:
Here are the rules.
Take off all your clothes,
and get your hankey-pankey on.
And if all else fails, read the fucking manual.
Problem is noone ever reads the fucking manual.
@ anon 13:23
I know *sob*
former IT-Specialist talking and weeping here...
Kinect is a step backwards...
That's why controllers were invented, so you don't have to move.
A step forward would be a mind controlled controller.
maybe its like you're trying to tell van gogh to use photoshop instead of using a conventional drawing
still, nothing can be compared with "feel" of a mouse when trying to get a headshot or mashing the controller button while playing fighting games
maybe knect is fun at one point but maybe not
If I play with a girl and she has to take off her clothes I sure will have fun no matter how shitty the game is. ^_^
@ Anon 16:28 :
War story:
IT sub-group Manager: "I have two GroupWise icons on my desktop. I clicked one of them, and nothing happened."
Me: "What happened when you clicked on the other one?"
IT sub-group Manager: "I didn't try that -- I called you for answers." (He _should_ have called the Help Desk, not the Desktop Engineering group, but...)
Me: "Please click on the other GroupWise icon, and tell me what happens."
IT sub-group Manager: "GroupWise starts up."
Me: "Okay. Please tell me your PC's ID code, and I'll get rid of the broken icon for you..."
To your point: _some_ people _do_ RTFM, but not enough. _SANE_ managers need to allocate enough tech time to deal with the customers who don't RTFM.
IKEA has excellent assembly instructions for their furniture, but they _ALSO_ have a 1-800 number for customers to dial if they become confused. The _FIRST_ thing in their docs is an exhortation to call them if you have any problems.
That makes for good customer service.
Microsoft? Customer service? Hahahahaha!
(Well, it's actually not too bad if your company has a Volume Licensing Agreement and has paid them for Premium Support. Most home end-users can't afford this.)
Stop assuming so much you moronic fan boys. Its just the cool thing to say that kinect will suck now just like it was cool to say the wii would fail and was a gimmick.
Other sites have already stated that you can play games with kinect closer than 6 feet its just not the recommended space.
The wii failed and is a gimmick. Dumbass.
The Wii is not a failure at least financially.
insert it prints money gif here
Anyway, assuming no sarcasm, and simply misguided opinion stated rudely, here's the console sale data as of FY 2010, Q1:
Wii: 70.93M
Xbox 360: 40.3M
PS3: 35.95M
To add insult to their own injury, Microsoft and Sony had reduced the prices of their console vastly in hope of selling games, that the consoles themselves are selling at a lost. Meanwhile, each Wii sale has a margin of $13 to $79 depending on location sold.
I remember people vehemently defend FF13.
Wii vs Kinect:
Wii is practically a mouse for console. All games types that use anything like mouse are possible only on Wii. No wonder that it have sucess.
Kinect is a motion tracking webcam for a console. What games uses such technology? Gimicks and family games. No wonder that it will fail.
"Wii is practically a mouse for console. All games types that use anything like mouse are possible only on Wii."
And yet mostly we get mini-game collections with waggle.
If the Wii is a failure, I'd love to see what success is like.
Why dont people wait till its out and then decide to hate it. You know after trying it. Besides its target audience is not gamers. Its casuals.
As someone who owned a Wii and wanted more out of it than just "Wii Sports Fitness LameFest," it is indeed gimmicky. I rarely had an enjoyable single-player experience on that console, but did have numerous issues with the wireless controllers instead. I'm sure those who said it would fail just didn't realize there are lots of casual gamers out there willing to gobble up those kinds of games.
I agree with Anonymous 15:33, though; we won't actually know how good/bad it is until it's out, and most people who visit this site are not in the target demographic anyway.
I don't like it, it looks so limited and i'm sure there wont be many games related to it
@ Vicious
Amen to that...
*thumbs up*
Sounds like fail. What was Mircosoft thinking?
Well im not an english speaker but i really want to know i worse word than FAIL to describe how Kinect will so damn fail
well, you could always call Kinect a Faux Pa
Well, you seem like an english speaker to me... but we're on the same thought.
surprising what money could be wasted on these days >.>
It's surprising how everyone is missing the point in regards to Kinect. It's not intended to cater to the hardcore 360 fanbase, but rather the casual gamers, just like many of the Wii games/peripherals. This tech could also be used as a remote replacement, as well as a browsing tool. It's meant to bring new audiences to the 360, so a wider slew of people get to experience the wonderful RRoD. Will it succeed? That depends on your parents and/or what systems are already in their homes.
What may be one person's waste of money, may prove to be an enjoyable investment to another.
Will I buy it?... Hell no.
Well microsoft is a company make of clown and stuff like that so it doesnt surprise me that they are making something with the Fail all on it well after all they are Microfail
Microsoft is trying to go after the casual audience with a different tactic than the wii.
Sony is trying to attract casual and core gamers by using higher quality motion controls, and putting them on their already stronger console.
Consindering that it was a shock that Mario Galaxy 2 manage to sell 1 million copys and outsold Red Dead Redemption.
Microsoft is having some success in Japan with minor sales of their console because of Monster Hunter Frontier Online.
Sony is introducing 3D gaming and movies on the PS3,and Sony TV's.But the sad part is Sony is selling 3D Glasses for $150.
Have to agree. If you have to do these things, then this is total fail x 1 billion.
Motion tracking things are just not 'ready' for prime time today.
Hahahaha. "Get a bigger house" I lol'd.
DO make an ass out of yourself.
Well, no one's coming down into the basement so yes, do play to your heart's content.
Just don't look in the mirror after.
That is also the top rules as to how to be the ultimate Moron. They need to credit the list with where it came from.
Am I the only one that thought of Haruhi in the baseball episode?
I'm sure if marketing was using her stupid dance to promote the kinect they will definitely sell more than enough to otaku to at least break even with this piece o' crap...
"Because looking stupid is half the fun!" is hilarious coming from Microsoft
do not smile: kinect wants u, the player, to feel akward and raging throughout the entire exercise, one hint of a smile, which is doubtful, and kinect will explode
I think we really should target the XBox in a new virus which would allow us to record whatever Kinect sees. Would generate much better blackmailing material than mails.
So worth $150 pricetag...
That Michael Jackson part is just too epic.. X3
And the girl in the OP pic really knows the rule.
to many requirements for a game controller
If the two players fuck, the virtual players will fuck too?
considering that's the only fun Kinect Idea I've heard, you might wanna go get hired somewhere.
This kinda reminds me of the comic Google made when they released Chrome... and all of the "edited" versions too. At least Microsoft have a sense of humour.
Still, most of those conditions hold true for the EyeToy too - stand a certain distance from the camera, can't be too bright, only one person (for EyeToy) allowed on-screen at once. Then again, the EyeToy didn't exactly sell well.
Ultimately, what determines how well the Kinect will do are the games available, and the price point. It doesn't appeal to me, but that's because I haven't seen any games I like for it, and it's too expensive.
Also, for those who are complaining about looking stupid, as opposed to just accepting it like Microsoft - you've clearly never seen anyone play on the Wii.
Might as well buy a Wii- which is cheaper.
Advantages:-
1) fun when your drunk
2) best to literally get into women's panties.
3) it best for naked drunken kung fu
4) excise for the fatties
Disadvantages:-
1) not for small houses
2) awkward when you ask a girl to play when she has a long dress
3) less likely to be pulled out at parties,people rather wii
4) can't have direct sun light hit it.
5) can't play excise games with pushes ups
6) no ero games for multi play between players.
7) orgy mode disable.
Yep the wii makes the kinect it's bitch but what would you expect from the creators of the blue screen of death.
Skip the "4) excise for the fatties" because I am 100% sure that the body tracking system will fail at recognising disproportional bodies.
GAME OVER
please take your potato off to resume play.
:C