Microsoft to Women: “Take Off Your Skirts!”

working-skirt-stripper-b-y-noraneko-koubou

Microsoft’s upcoming motion controller Kinect has become the subject of ridicule for its inability to track the legs of people wearing skirts.

Those playing pre-release versions report beskirted women were unable to have their legs recognised.

Similar warnings about baggy clothing have also been circulating – it appears certain fashions simply have no place in the future of gaming.

Kinect has been confirmed by players as requiring wide open spaces of the sort only guaranteed in cavernous American homes, as being dependent on players remaining standing up for many games, and as being only able to actively track a few players at a time – although spectacular when working properly, just how much it can be relied upon to do this is a matter of some concern.


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    Avatar of ToxikEnvy
    Comment by ToxikEnvy
    09:31 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Common sense just doesn't seem to get across to people nowadays. If you can't see something they how can it detect it?

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:58 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Kinect sucks man.

    Avatar of OrangeMango
    Comment by OrangeMango
    08:51 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Personally I think all the new Kinect is a souped up PS eyetoy/ PS eye and that is why the PS3 will be taking a lead in power till the end of this year at least

    Avatar of Imyou
    Comment by Imyou
    08:40 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well, it is an American product. Don't American girls all wear jeans?
    I say this with great sadness... it seems they all wear jeans. :/

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:47 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Australia too mate, wait it may even be a western thing:(

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:10 18/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    it works at max efficiency when no clothes is attached to the body.

    Avatar of BABY FlNLAND
    Comment by BABY FlNLAND
    10:22 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    kinect sucks but it's infinitely better than playstation move

    Avatar of MDvn
    Comment by MDvn
    11:44 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Does this count as a "WIN" for M$ ? I will be happy seeing those beautiful legs dancing around :)

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:57 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    take off skirt is a good idea. it gives me better control and handling on my penis.

    Avatar of meiling
    Comment by meiling
    10:27 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Then it looks like I will be playing the games in the nude. Well that will make some people in the house happier so that is ok I guess.

    Avatar of bloodlust5
    Comment by bloodlust5
    12:50 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    probably works better nude to.

    Avatar of Ovada
    Comment by Ovada
    07:12 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Great news to guys bringing cute chicks home.
    "Heyyy, get naked, let's play a game :3"
    Not as good as the "Wanna play with my Wii" line, but kudos to Microsoft for trying.

    Avatar of Noodlestein
    Comment by Noodlestein
    06:58 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hrmm. I have more than enough room for it... oh wait. other than american homes.. Well shit, no on in japan owns a 360 so it's alright, ;p

    Avatar of Gigagaia
    Comment by Gigagaia
    06:06 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Kinect is gonna suck so bad.

    Avatar of Shuyai
    Comment by Shuyai
    05:46 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    the kinect has one major flaw that may crash you system! if a man play naked. kinect will recongise 3 leg(only elites like me) and hence data overload and crash!

    Avatar of Fapping Time
    Comment by Fapping Time
    07:14 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    what?
    I thought everybody played video games nekkid...
    hmmm, surely I'm not the only one...

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:34 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    This is an unacceptable offense to everyone. A fucking sin. A capital crime!
    Encouraging women to wear pants over skirts can't be tolerated.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:22 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Encouraging women to wear pantsu over skirts can be tolerated.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:21 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I feel sorry for the girls wearing seifuku. T_T.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:48 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Possible new error of Kinect:

    -Fat people count like two players! xD

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:59 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    You know, that is actually a possibility if someone is like... MONDO overweight.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:44 18/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    now i know why all female char in strike witch skirtless...

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:09 18/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Who is wearing skirt theese days? Nice, there is still hope for humanity... ;)

    Avatar of Psyxe
    Comment by Psyxe
    01:54 18/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    @alidan
    you should probably try programming yourself and see how hard it is for a computer to make assumptions..

    also this is a stupid argument, it's logical that for motion tracking using a camera, it must see what it is tracking... it's not hard to wear some fucking jeans or trousers to play a game that requires your body movements as the controller...

    do people play wii fit in skirts? you can, but you know beforehand that it's not really intended...

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:03 18/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    OH NO WE CAN'T SENSE YOUR ARMS! NOW TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!

    Avatar of PoisonFacecamo
    Comment by PoisonFacecamo
    11:42 18/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    so many fucking restrictions why bother with this shit?

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:18 22/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    ever wonder what the bottom of a womans body looks like? well BAM! there it is...

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:12 24/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wait till the big chicks work off the sweat in their underwear. MOAR FAT

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:40 19/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Y'know, I was behind Micrsoft 100% until I saw it made it difficult for Natal to read leg movements.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:06 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    This is another MS Win! =D, Take off your skirt or don't play at all :P

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:42 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Finally, a gaming console that women will not suck at... except the really fat ones.

    Avatar of Reichi
    Comment by Reichi
    15:01 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I may have sold my soul to Microsoft long ago, but I expect some more impressive games before taking off any clothing for them.

    Avatar of hibia
    Comment by hibia
    22:39 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Why did you put that in quotes... that's not a quote and could not be derived in that tone from the article...

    :|

    Avatar of Artefact
    Comment by Artefact
    00:54 18/07/2010 # ! Questionable

    It's called "paraphrasing."

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:13 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    There is a limit to how many buttons you can put on a controller so in conjunction with a controller this could expand upon the amount of buttons/gestures/movements and increase the number of actions a player could perform thus increasing the amount of features that can be in a game even if it can only pick up a few basic movements. Otherwise it's junk.

    Avatar of NeoWorm
    Comment by NeoWorm
    23:13 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Only that new games tend to be controled by 2 keys and mouse/gamepad. They dont need another control options since they are made as easy as possible. So it fails even at this.

    Avatar of xHadriel
    Comment by xHadriel
    15:52 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Kinect sounds like it would be awesome for Strike Witches to play.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:24 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    The future of gaming is going back to the way video games were in the 80s & 90s. You know, fun & worth MSRP? Can't wait for this bullshit motion gimmick to die off. Make sure it works like Minority Report before even bothering...

    Avatar of Lord_Mew
    Comment by Lord_Mew
    02:19 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    well, this confirms what I always thought.

    the only way for this thing to work properly is if you use a full body yellow latex suit with blue dots in the joints and use a black background.

    XD

    Avatar of Dia
    Comment by Dia
    03:02 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Poor MC Hammer

    Avatar of Crowbar
    Comment by Crowbar
    02:59 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Woo, Baggyfag detection for GTA adaption!

    Error message:
    Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:00 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's a gimmick, nothing more. People will always go back to standard controllers.

    Comment by Dark Mage
    02:09 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I expected Kinect to eventually join the ranks of the 32x,virtual boy,and 5200 when it was still known as Natal.

    It's kind of an inherently flawed technology for this purpose.
    If you ever saw how motion capture is used to control a CGI chacter in movies you'd know why kinect does not work well.

    The puppeteer supplying the motion data for the CGI character must ware a jump suit with reflective balls on it for the computer to get any useful motion data.
    Computers generally suck at interpreting raw video so the reflective balls provide them something easy to track.
    They also use no less then four cameras for tracking.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:44 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Fuck it! Char never blabbers this much, you're not Char!!!

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:44 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wrong!
    For once, technology advances. And then we're talking about pattern matching here, catering to the slowest and fattest of us all, not massive data collection to recreate photo-realistic movements from stunt actors...

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:08 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wrong!
    Technology is still limited. If you see a girl with a long skirt... can you see the way her legs are bend? You can't couse world doesnt work that way...

    Comment by Dark Mage
    03:01 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Use of pattern matching vs true motion capture is why it fails.
    It might have worked if the player wore a bracelet with an accelerometer on each limb as this could fill in the blanks in the data.
    That also would fix the need for a large playing area.

    Avatar of Neocurse
    Comment by Neocurse
    03:27 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I agree unfortunately the technology is just not ready...but if no one tries there will be no improvement, advancement... maybe in another 5 years?

    Avatar of Kamina
    Comment by Kamina
    03:05 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well if Char says it, it must be true.

    Avatar of NeoWorm
    Comment by NeoWorm
    01:52 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    As I said, it will have so many little quirks it would be unusable for most cases. I would like to see what a direct sunlight against camera or reflections would make with its recognising capabilities...

    Comment by Pyrolight
    01:48 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    No matter what they do with the xbox, them manage to somehow screw it up royally.

    Avatar of LOLI
    Comment by LOLI
    02:59 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    /!\ RROD /!\

    Avatar of TheBeast
    Comment by TheBeast
    04:27 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    me: hey lolicons!

    lolicons: shhh!

    me: (sorry, but why am i whispering.)

    loliconA: (there is a real live loli right in the box above. we don't want to startle it and scare it away.)

    me: what do you m--

    loliconB:shhh!

    me: (sorry, i forgot. but, what do you mean in the box above?)

    loliconA: there's *ahem (there is a comment by a real live loli above. she said RROD.)

    me: (okay guys, enjoy your loli. but you know it's probably a 40 year old man with a girl avatar.)

    loliconB: (impossible! but even if you were right, ignorance is bliss!)

    me: (watch your voice level there,bud. you might get caught.)

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:06 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    ^ Did you even read his post to the end???

    Avatar of TheBeast
    Comment by TheBeast
    07:24 18/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    he probably didn't. but then again, every now and again, you have someone waiting to go off on someone esle about a pet-peeve. notice that halfway thorugh he starts going on about guys playing as girls in games. i'll bet that is the real issue here.

    anon@5:26
    it's perfectly okay to play as girls in games. there is no need to get defensive on your fellow sankakunites/sankaku-jins.

    the skit was a result of a thought pattern that i experienced upon seeing the name loli and how i always see posts on here about adding loli's to anything makes it better. then to see one right before your very eyes. let go of the rage. it will only create more problems for you and will solve none.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:26 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    ever thought about the fact, that he is using this name and avatar, because he likes Roris??

    I always used my Nicknames and Avatars like that o_O I only put sexy Girls as my signature as well. If that doesn't mean that i'm a Girl, then why the heck does having a Girly Avatar mean that I'd be a Gurl?

    geez, i love the kids who go "omg, gay for using female name and avatar", or even better in Games. Playing female chars is so gay as a Guy.
    Especially when the Game has Gender restrictions on Classes and you can't do anything else than to play as a Girl.

    People like that, and you, Piss me off.

    Comment by Pyrolight
    04:23 17/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Uh-oh I sense I have angered the fanbois. Fear the rate down.





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