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Natal’s Devastating Power Unleashed

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The true potential of Microsoft’s innovative upcoming motion sensing controller Project Natal has been unveiled in full for the first time.

One gamer given a demo by Microsoft explains his experience of impromptu rape:

Dave’s avatar was a girl during River Rush, probably because Dave feels like a little princess inside, and I suddenly realized how awesome it would be for my avatar to molest Dave’s.

As my avatar rubbed its crotch against Dave’s avatar’s ass the Microsoft folks started laughing and said that was the first time they had seen anyone do that. I was extremely proud of myself.

I’m sure millions of little assholes will follow in the wake of my avatar-raping, but I want it to be noted in my Wikipedia page that I was the very first.

This is sure to be a hit amongst juvenile adolescent gamers and creepy IdolMaster fans alike – and this was not even in a game designed to offer the freeform virtual groping experience the console now has at its disposal.

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His shilling continues on another topic:

Being a gamer since I was a kid, I was really struck by the amount of physical exertion it took. It’s amazing exercise and, because of that, I think it’s going to be a much better device for people’s health in general.

As hyperbolic as it may sound, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if in a few years we see a decrease in childhood obesity simply because of the system. For that alone, I think it’s the biggest step forward in gaming in a long, long time. But, despite that, the game was fun as hell.

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In fact, I’d say the ONLY drawback to the Natal some people may have is that you have to get up off your ass to play it. But, for me, a person who likes exercise and gaming, it’s sort of a dream come true. An hour of playing Natal every night will definitely burn calories.

Whether this turns out to be its ultimate undoing remains to be seen – much depends on the actual numbers of players with huge lounges and a willingness to bounce around maniacally for hours at a time.

Meanwhile, imaginative ero-gamers are quick to point out the immediately apparent possibilities:

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