Agnes Chan Shows Off Her Home: “Please Donate!”

UNICEF Japan figurehead and former gravure idol Agnes Chan has taken a break from campaigning for the rights of fictional children in order to visit “Somalia,” and is also gracious enough to show off her magnificently tasteless palace to the media.

Her home is so opulent she was able to entertain former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzō Abe (who famously blamed his lame duck premiership on chronic and unceasing diarrhea, and so might not have been the most pleasant of house guests):

Whether they discussed banning loli manga or feeding African children over their banquet is not recorded.

Agnes Chan shows off her palatial home whilst almost tearfully lamenting the plight of the poverty stricken children of Somalia, “struggling in a nation riven by civil war”:

She and UNICEF Japan recently visited the Somali children in order to highlight their need, prompting some unkind souls to wonder if she might not become a casualty of the conflict.

Unfortunately, UNICEF and Agnes neglected to tell anyone that when they announced a daring visit to “Somalia,” famously wartorn and anarchic, they actually meant Agnes would be visiting adjoining Somaliland, quite stable (for Africa), in order to see the sights.

Here she meets some of the “Somali” children for a convenient if underwhelming photo opportunity:

In the background is what passes for a major national monument and tourist attraction in Somaliland, confirming her location:

She was subsequently accused of taking a lavish pleasure tour around Somaliland, funded by UNICEF donations, whilst UNICEF itself maintained she was there solely to draw attention to poor starving Somali orphans.

Currently UNICEF Japan is threatening to sue certain newspapers for daring to mock the sham Somali visit, saying they are slandering the good name of poor Agnes.