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Lifesaving Excuses for Explaining Away Your Porn Stash

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The overwhelming majority of healthy men at some point maintain a secret porn stash, but even the most painstakingly hidden materials can still be discovered by a girlfriend or other female authority figure, requiring an arsenal of excuses if disaster is to be averted.

Upon discovering such a stash, some women experience emotions of jealousy or find it difficult to reconcile their boyfriend’s imagined disinterest in pornography with its existence. Death or injury has been known to result from encounters with such women.

Thus it is no exaggeration to say that it may in fact be a matter of life and death for men to devise appropriate excuses for the existence of such stashes, and that their very lives may depend on reading the below article.

A Japanese writer offers up 9 possible ways of deflecting such attention from even a Japanese girlfriend:

1. “It’s proof of being a healthy man – everyone has a stash!”
“The standard excuse. Prevaricate by saying everyone does it.”

2. “Well, actually this belongs to my father…”
“Don’t acknowledge ownership. Useful if the content is problematic.”

3. “What, just where did that come from!?”
“Play dumb. Just pretend you don’t look at them any more and it was left over from somewhere.”

4. “Try reading it.”
“Counter with a recommendation. May improve intimacy, but may also be rejected.”

5. “I was studying female anatomy.”
“An excuse attempting to persuade her you were studying so as to be a better lover.”

6. “I’m just looking after it for a friend for [some reason].”
“For teenagers.”

7. “It’s better than cheating isn’t it?”
“A powerful but dangerous technique which puts her trust in you at risk.”

8. “But I just wanted to look…”
“Try to gain her sympathy by behaving cutely and perhaps turning the tables on her by being angry that she looked.”

9. “Periodically the masculine urges just build up.”
“A desperation measure likening it to a woman’s period to elicit feminine sympathy – portray it as an uncontrollable natural phenomenon.”

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