“Are Women Who Date Otaku Worthless?”


A woman reporting how she was all but driven to tears upon learning that her lovely young boyfriend was actually an otaku asks whether otaku-dating women are indeed the same lower form life as their paramours.

The woman, describing herself as extremely shy and about 30, relates that she recently began dating a man for the first time:

“He’s 4 years younger than me, he’s boy-faced and really cute, takes care of his hair and clothes – he’s stylish.

He would talk about music, movies, the latest trends, and knew all about them; he was captivating so it was a natural choice to date him. With a younger boyfriend who’s really cute, every day was full of happiness for me.

After 3 months, his true self emerged. He’s an otaku.

Like the sort you’d see at Akihabara. He doesn’t look it, but he’s into anime and cosplay. I think he even goes to their events.

And on his desktop wallpaper he has gross anime pictures – pink and purple haired miko.

When I saw this, I was so shocked, I thought I’d cry!

He’s stylish and was introduced to me by a friend, but after finding out his true nature I’m really afraid people might think I’m the same. I wish he’d told me at the start he was an otaku.

I don’t have much experience of romance, I feel anxious about these things. And I have been wondering about marriage lately too.

My boyfriend is kind, I love him. But if my friends found out about him I get the impression I’d lose worth in their eyes.

Are women dating otaku worth less?”

Naturally this sort of enquiry generated a storm of controversy in response:

“Otaku or whatever, there’s no way anyone loses worth just by dating someone with a particular hobby. In fact, I think a woman who judges a man like that is a person of low worth in the first place.”

“Worth? What is this worth you keep going on about? Is a woman dating a doctor worth a lot more, perhaps? A pilot? A celebrity? I’ve never heard of anyone being worth more because of dating someone like this. So how could anyone be worth less?”

“You’re talking about your worth with a stylish boyfriend 4 years your junior? You’re shy and in your thirties. The one who should be picky is your boyfriend.”

“There’s no such thing as a perfect man. How long are you going to be a little girl dreaming of one? That’s why you never had a boyfriend up until now. If you break up with him you’d be doing him a favour – you’re a very cheap woman.”

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    Comment by Tovansky
    03:10 06/02/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    I think that boyfriend of hers is not an otaku. Why? Because I am like him, at the very least. I am into fashion, I take care of myself, I go out on the weekend, I have a lot of friends, but I am also into anime, manga, and games. If she want to insist of him being an otaku, then we are definitely the type A, not the excessively obsessive type into anime and manga. It's a hobby for us, but we see our real life and real people as reality. What's wrong with him having a hobby like that. The way she described her definitely showing that he definitely is not the creepy type otaku. From my deduction, I think she is the weird or the creepy one.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:58 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    That's probably true in America but in a country like Japan things are different. As you might know, the Japanese does not want to attract attention to themselves, they just want to blend in with society. The term otaku in japan is more than just an anime fan. Its related to perverts, shut-ins, and other serious negative connotations. She most likely fears that dating an otaku might attract attention. Well this is what I think she is thinking.

    Personally, I think the boyfriend is more than worthy to date her but everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

    And I think the guy is more of type C. From the description of the wallpaper, it's probably the same as the OP. And you know what demographic Lucky Star has...

    Avatar of Fapping Time
    Comment by Fapping Time
    08:11 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    here's the deal, if you are happy in a relationship, no matter who or what you're dating, it doesn't matter what other people think.


    most times they are just jealous 'cause you've found happiness...

    Avatar of Fonzer
    Comment by Fonzer
    11:47 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    i agree with this,since the relationship is only between him and her.And if they listen to anyone else,or especialy if she listenes to anyone else it can corrupt her mind.
    Relationship should be usually dealth with the person you are and not others.

    Avatar of Niwa
    Comment by Niwa
    08:12 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Dam, This just makes me pop the question "are relationships even worth it days?" I'm not trying to get flamed here but seeing how were getting views of the dating scene in Japan makes me consider how worldwide things are going.

    But In all honesty I say this to the lady
    "Prove em Wrong! Show em you caught yerself a keeper!"

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:29 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    "He’s stylish and was introduced to me by a friend, but after finding out his true nature I’m really afraid people might think I’m the same. I wish he’d told me at the start he was an otaku."

    WTF?! I don't want to hear that jibba jabba from a gawdam christmas cake!

    And what does it matter what her other friends think? It's not like he's putting his otaku penis inside them, afterall.

    Avatar of Fonzer
    Comment by Fonzer
    11:44 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    treated like a child princess sindrome and stayed one.Ah so many women don't grow up

    Avatar of Barbarian of Gor
    Comment by Barbarian of Gor
    10:57 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I'm sympathetic to this issue...

    It's something the Sci-Fi/Fantasy fans (especially RPG heads) had to deal with until the 90s. Hiding the collection of "Conan" novels and comics from the girlfriend or wife, and woe to any who let one of the "Great One's" books slip... Really, some people turned storage sheds into "Post-Bachelor Dens" to hide the "Shit" the wife made 'em throw out.

    That is, and THIS is, of course, the fruit of the "Modern women who seek to destroy men." The combination of easy divorce laws and 'empowering' women combined with retention and expansion of old laws out to "Protect women" gave them far too much power. In addition it filled them with a bunch of unreasoning expectations, the "Tetris" style of emotional needs where she needs something till its filled, then needs something else.

    It'd be impossible to please this woman, unless she married a "Rock Star" or "Rich Man", someone far above her. Then, of course, she'd feel bored and start cheating or otherwise doing destructive things.

    IMO, they should go back to "Arranged Marriages" and AmeriKKKa should scale back some of it's divorce laws. I'm for binding a man to his wife and kids, but she should have to think 10 times before she even tries to leave him, not just decides it's time to leech off his labors and live out of wedlock with a non-producing "Outlaw" type.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:04 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Rather, don't marry at all! History has shown that a man and a woman can't get along with each other without throwing out the other's interest because of some stigma.

    Avatar of BlaqCat
    Comment by BlaqCat
    13:19 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Indeed. IMO, most of the reason so many women jump ship is that they're "rewarded" with half a man's money (and if he makes enough, alimony as well). If they scaled back the allowances, and winnings that divorced spouses were granted, I guarantee there would be far less divorce (and in the case of jointly owned properties, whoever pays for the house, gets the -whole- house, kids or not).

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:12 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    It appears as if a Japanese man has interest in anything but making money, he loses worth.

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$... Enjoy it ladies.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:57 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Don't stereotype this by being exclusively women.

    I'm 21, just began dating a cute, funny guy, but as soon as he went into my room and saw my yaoi collection and my anime action figures, he suddenly had no interest in me. >:

    Avatar of BlaqCat
    Comment by BlaqCat
    13:24 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    That's cause he was probably a typical jackass so many women go for. I'd make fun of you about the yaoi stuff (not seriously, just teasing really), but I wouldn't ditch you for it (nor would most guys I know ), unless you look like a bridge troll (in which case, the yaoi collection and stuff was just an easy exit strat).

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:59 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Humans are shallow and vain that way.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:08 03/08/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Yaoi is freaky though, it is SERIOUSLY not the same thing as a few moe or anime stuff.

    He absolutely had that right. It's a dealbreaker for me and most guys imho.

    Avatar of MidnightTide
    Comment by MidnightTide
    06:59 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Oh no, he watches anime - and sometimes goes shopping for anime. *GASP* He attends some anime related events...and the truly horrible thing, he has anime related wallpaper on his comp.

    Sounds like this boyfriend needs to dump this gold digger.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:12 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Don't worry about the women, the great majority of you (including me) will never have a loving relationship with a girl.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:17 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    lol , that's just his hobby...what's wrong wiv dat women lol??

    Avatar of davaeron
    Comment by davaeron
    08:26 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    "she recently began dating a man for the first time"

    First time in her life in her 30? Oh my! =)

    Comment by Y0k41
    12:49 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Woa, I didn't catch that detail. If that is true then she should be all the more grateful she has such a guy whom she feels happy with. Screw the fact that he's an otaku! She can't be so picky, especially when his character seems perfect for her.

    Avatar of Reichi
    Comment by Reichi
    11:54 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I think just the fact that he's an otaku AND stylish is a joint deal. Shouldn't date for looks or anything, but some otaku look kind of unkempt. Still, can't pass judgment before you know~

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:27 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    If she does really love him, then she shouldn't be aware of his nature. =P
    Why do some people are very sensitive about gossip and their reputation. Nothing can beat love.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:06 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    There is a difference between:

    My hobby is anime and cosplay


    I can't sleep without my [....] dakimakura.

    This looks like the former.As such,there is nothing wrong here.Totally normal.

    Avatar of Icy-nee-san
    Comment by Icy-nee-san
    11:39 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    This article has left me in despair :\

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:33 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Responses 3 & 4 sum up what I want to say :D!

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:03 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    After homophobia, and all other phobias, now we have, otakuphobia XS

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:01 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Otaku Racist Bastard..

    Avatar of YoKozo
    Comment by YoKozo
    03:17 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hermes-tan accepted Densha for who he was in the end. She should follow her example.

    Comment by Anonymous
    Avatar of Riiku
    Comment by Riiku
    03:17 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Bitch, he should just do her and leave. Like, "I'm otaku baby, but i'm baaaad"

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:36 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    This woman's comments made my stomach turn. Sometimes I just wanna shout to the women of the world "What the fuck is wrong with being an otaku?!" It depresses how some women think. Is it really so wrong to actually enjoy something in life?! I know these women love to stress themselves out over things that don't matter, but I like to try to enjoy life. SO WHAT IF YOUR BOYFRIEND'S AN OTAKU?! I WANT an otaku boyfriend! Cuz that'd be something I can relate to him about. I honestly can't understand why it bothers them so much. If he's cute and has a good personality why is the fact that he's an otaku matter? Are you afraid you'll lose to the 2d girls? You should because women like this bitch WILL lose. I absolutely can't stand shallow women like her! I'm so incredibly lucky my best friends are also otakus and not one of these bitches. But it's women like this that ruin 3d women in the minds of male otaku and it sucks! So my message to male otaku is that not all women are like this! There are some decent women out there!

    Avatar of TehBoringOne
    Comment by TehBoringOne
    12:11 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hoh... Interesting...

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:19 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    She’s 4 years younger than me, she’s really cute, takes care of his hair and clothes – she’s stylish.

    she would talk about music, movies, the latest trends, and knew all about them; he was captivating so it was a natural choice to date him. With a younger girlfriend who’s really cute, every day was full of happiness for me.
    After 3 months, her true self emerged. she like twilight.
    He doesn’t look it, but he’s into the books and movies. I think he even likes edward.
    And on his desktop wallpaper he has gross twilight pictures – dark and emo teenagers.
    When I saw this, I was so shocked, I thought I’d cry!

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:53 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    facepalm to that woman because she think that she is normaal or think she self is perfect ???
    Think about it he will only cheat you on 2D girls.
    Who doesn't hated to go shopping with woman ??
    example /to a cloth boutique she is trying the same blouse over 2 houres and you know from the start she would't buy it ....

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:21 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I can totally sympathize, I nearly cried when I found out my ex likes mainstream music! Disgusting, right? I broke up with her because of that.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:34 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I smell legendary kopipe in the making!

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:44 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    what women should be happy about otakus' they won't get to much semen instead otakus fap at figures

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:39 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Sigh. Most of you miss the POV she is coming from. Remember, in Japan appearance is everything. This is the country where people have committed suicide because they "lost face" (were embarrassed by a failure of some major project they were in charge of, even if they themselves could not have prevented the failure in the first place.) This is a country where people decide what they like and dislike based on what their FRIENDS like and dislike. And to like something your friends do not is reason enough for your friends to drop you. Even the appearance of liking something, even if you do not really like it, is enough to drive off your friends. For example, someone starting a _rumour_ that a particular girl in an office is a whore is enough to get her fired from her job!

    From her POV, she is literally looking at losing all her friends, and the respect they have for her as a person, because her boyfriend is an otaku! That is the mental equation she is trying to balance. Unless, of course, his "otaku-ness" doesn't rub off on her reputation. And that is her question. If her reputation suffers because she is dating an otaku, then she has to decide if the relationship is worth the losses, and disapproval, that she will suffer. If his otaku-ness doesn't have an effect on her reputation, then, as far as she is concerned, she's home free and gets to enjoy both the attentive boyfriend and the respect of her peers and superiors.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:55 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    The otaku keeps his hobbies to himself and she does not leak it and nobody else needs to find out! If she had included her real name in that post, she more or less shot herself in the foot!

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:41 10/07/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    It kind of goes to show that the country is severely fucked up culturally and needs to un fuck itself.

    It's why I couldn't stand to live there. Too much judgmental bullshit.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:12 09/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    the thing is the USA has that mentality in some cases, as well as places like the Phillipines but you dont see people defending 'pakisama' fromt hose places.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:38 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    What a bitch.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:17 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    what wrong with being a otaku lol

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:15 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I agree with the comments to the enquiry, but I suspect it was actually a troll(or she's just a retard)!

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:25 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    If it took her 3 months to find out, he couldn't be that much of an otaku

    Avatar of chrisofna
    Comment by chrisofna
    05:55 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    He could be doing Heroin, would she prefer that?

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:05 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    for being so shallow as to think that makes me want to say yes

    good lord have some self worth and pride if you care about him and he cares about they fuck everyone else(well no acctually fuck each other forget everyone else but you get my meaning) people who pass judgment are the worthless ones not those who spend their time enjoying them selves rather than critiquing how everyone else enjoys themselves.

    Avatar of Aero
    Comment by Aero
    04:07 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    How stupid. Everything she said was stupid and ironic.
    If you ask me, the guy would be better off not dating a person with personal issues who prejudices somebody like that without looking at themselves first.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:22 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Women like the one in the acticle are worthless with or without an otaku. If your friends are more important than your partner, then you don't need a partner.

    Comment by Y0k41
    12:43 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well, seeing it from her point of view and how otaku are viewed in japan(it's a lot worse than many foreigners think), I couldn't blame her for being shocked at this discovery. However, she should be grateful she even has such a man dating her, I mean she stated herself that she's happy with him. And like many people said, if she has friends whom would look down upon her for that, then they shouldn't be considered her friends at all.

    Avatar of BlaqCat
    Comment by BlaqCat
    13:12 06/02/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    The comments made pretty much hit the nail on the head. Some shy 30+ woman is bitching about her apparently good looking, younger boyfriend. Here's hoping reality sets in for her soon, her BEST chance is probably with an otaku anyway. She should be glad she at least got one that's stylish and good looking x_x

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