Final Fantasy XIII – Zetsubou Shita! “It’s Just a Long Tunnel!”
- Categories: Games, News
- Date: Jan 13, 2010 06:33 JST
- Tags: Final Fantasy, Parody, Production Controversy, RPG, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
Final Fantasy XIII detraction has reached its zenith with the game being lampooned for its extreme linearity in seminal satire Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.
“They spent 5 years making huge dungeons which in the end were whittled down by superiors and marketing… Now it’s just a one-way tunnel!”
The diagram below:
Development Department – “I’ll bet today’s kids can’t clear it like that!”
That the game has been dumbed down into an excessively linear “CG movie player with RPG elements” has been the major bone of contention amongst fans and even a few commercial reviewers, although it seems likely the game will continue to be a great commercial success even as it is a critical failure, thanks to the overpowering Final Fantasy brand.
| 
Dead or Alive Ero-SFM Doubly Dirty
Flying Witch “Cute But Boring…”
Phantasy Star Online 2 Phantastic: “What About the West!?”
Shounen Maid “A Fujoshi Delight”
Terra Formars Live Action Web Drama Announced
Dragon Quest Heroes II Quite Monstrous
KumaMiko Lovingly Innocent
Aqua Onahole Parody Hopefully Moist
A-Size Classmate Profusely Petite
One Day With Maria Raunchy & Romantic
The Reject Demon: Toko Chapter 0 Raises Its Voice
Hai-Furi in Troubled Waters
Star Fox Zero “Pandering To Kids!”
Kiznaiver Shares Its Pain
Love Live’s Koi ni Naritai Aquarium PV “Will Sell Thousands!”
Skimpy Kataigou Figure
Ellen Baker’s Illustrator: “Keep It Clean!”
Bullet Girls 2 Goes At It From All Angles
Sword Art Online: Hollow Realization A Real Grind
Koutetsujou no Kabaneri Immensely Gruesome
Goddess of 2ch “Another Bathing Beauty!”
Tantalizing Hestia Cosplay Busts Out
Kashiwazaki Sena Cosplay Pure & Innocent
Minami Kotori Casino Girl Cosplay Takes No Chances
Shimakaze Cosplay by Ema Sakura
Harley Quinn Cosplay by Miyuko Colorfully Crazy
Sonico Ero-Cosplay by Yuka Hoshikage Super Sexy
Kasugano Sora Bunny Girl Cosplay Absolutely Admirable
Goddess of 2ch: “Barely Legal Beauty!”
Highly Yuri Tenryuu & Tatsuta Cosplay by Garo & Usagi
Oh sensei =)
"ya da na sensei"
haha.MW2 ROCKS.its best selling game after all
Because, as FFXIII has shown us, selling well means that a game is awesome!
This shit isn't a game anymore to begin with!
What game? =)
i like the 'ffxiii sucks for X reason" articles because it's amusing to read all the pissed off comments =3
I don't even know if I will play it when it comes out in europe. Maybe i'll just hope for FFVII remake.
The modern casual player oriented game market that fouled the FF series leaves me in despair...
Van-d-all, you best take sick masochistic pleasure from playing rougelikes to make that statement.
Just watch the walkthrough on Youtube. It's basically the same as playing it.
LOL long tunnel, nice troll
Im in despair ! This world where linear games rules because of overpowering marketing has left me in despair !!!
|
Ill escort myself to that rope over there O
I'm in despair too! I'm in despair that the industry seems to take loyalty for granted!! Everyone takes loyalty for granted nowdays:
husbands take loyalty of their wives for granted
wives take the loyalty of husbands for granted
big box stores take the loyalty of their customers for granted
insane dictators take their citizens for granted
the NHL takes their fans for granted
FOX takes the simpsons for granted
people take their credit cards for granted
children take their parents for granted
nintendo lovers take nintendo for granted
microsoft takes their monopoly for granted
boyfriends and girlfriend take themselves for granted
hookers take their STD free bodies for granted
suicidal manic depressives take their lives for granted
kyoto studio takes haruhi suzumiya for granted
otaku take haruhi suzumiya's loyalty for granted
@Anon 10.25
I can hear Kitsu Chiri coming to tsukkomi you...
>wives take the loyalty of husbands for granted
wives take the loyalty of husbands credit cards for granted <--- Fixed.
Anime industry changing to "Ecchi with no story"granted
people thinking otakus are all Disgusting granted
people thinking otakus are all the same granted
new Anime wave of 2010 is bricks of shit granted
almost hentai anime with F***ing silly story 10th season granted
I'm also in despair on works that dumb themselves down for a certain audience (ahem)
"Eh, Kafuka-chan, don't you have anything to say?"
". . ."
HAHA! ZING!
I came.
Oh Sankaku, whats with the FFXIII hate? =)
cause mindless trolling leads to hits?
Because it deserves it.
ZING!
more like frustration of seeing how pathetic a game turned out to be in a once great series of games
Another hit-or-miss to add to the series's pile hardly drags the series down. I doubt theres anyone who simultaneously likes 10-2, 8, 7, 3 and Mystic Quest.
Having one bad game won't make any series bad, people still like Indiana Jones even after moaning about the 4th.
This^
It doesn't mean I'll stop giving Square's FF a go when new ones come out. Still, I imported and I sing with the choir...this one is pretty...boring.
Oh Sensei im sure its still an enjoyable game
You need to register "Kafuka_Fuura" as a nickname to prevent getting downrated for such a comment ;)
It's not linear. It's just easy modo!
Its a visual novel; but you can only play the main route ;)
EHHH!? SRSLY!? EEJII MODO IS FOR GRADESCHOOLERS!
GROSS!
Sadly it will still sell well in the US, Even worse is I'LL still buy it.
And still it is the best RPG in this Gen =)
I had 123 hours of pure fun
Maybe it is just so good because there are only FAIL RPGs out except ToV PS3 Version =)
tired of hearing the same crap about this game.. its a great game leave it alone lol
Seeing another article just makes me think of this:
Vanille/etc doujins where?
I love SZS, they parody everything and I'll always laugh.
But really, FFXIII is just too linear
I think this is not refering to the Final Fantasy XIII - as the previous FFs (XII) were published on 2006. That means they only spent 3 years to develop the huge dungeons.
I guess it is Dragon Quest IX that Zetsubou sensei is talking about, which was also problematic with their "liner dungeon". And the fact that Dragon Quest VIII was published on 2004 supports my point, that they had good 5 years to develop a magneficient dangeon :D
Actually, production on a new final fantasy game does not start only when the last one is released, their production schedules overlap and run concurrently for some years. It takes a long time to produce an ff game.
And considering they're also releasing two Crystal Chronicles games, updating XI, various Kingdom Hearts projects, Dragon Quest carryovers, and some other titles I can't think of, they have programmers to spare.
Of course, things were a lot better back when they focused on one game at a time.
The comic makes a point. It will sell well due to the hard work of their marketing team. They know about the kids these days.
It is not a critical failure, thanks.
I agree, it's a failure as a game.
so we can all agree you haven't even played it right?
cause that tends to be the trend of people who say "it's a failure as a game", especially around here.
I agree.
I bet if Square-Enix remakes Final Fantasy VII, people will still find ways to bitch and complain about it.
Wheres the post about all the good reviews? all the people that like it?
Nowhere. Because you're just reaching for hits.
ah, those would be a problem to point out. as that would ruin Arte's illusion that everyone hates FFXIII.
as would pointing out that FFXIII is hardly "the most divisive FF ever" considering its fan reviews have been as evenly split as the FF series has received since FF8 (thats right, its internet fan reviews that Sankaku loves hyping up as being horrible are pretty much the same as the last 6 FFs, including FFX which regularly ranks as the best FF nowadays, especially in Japan).
as would pointing out THE MAJORITY of critical responses (especially the critics that actually played the game, as opposed to openly admitting they're writing their "definitive" review based on 10 hours of play) have be, wait for it, POSITIVE.
its kind of funny to say it is a "great commercial success even as it is a critical failure" when its actually been by vast majority FAR from a critical failure.
it may not be the great classic that reviewers, and all the kids that played it when they were 12, thought FF7 was. but is definitely still scoring well above average critically. if thats a "critical failure", well... frankly you're nothing but trolling.
but pointing all those out would be bad cause that'll start to affect huge large the legion of parrot sheep (a not so rare breed it seems) that flock around these parts.
http://www.rpgfan.com/reviews/Final_Fantasy_XIII/index.html
A pretty good review of the game instead of Sankaku's 10 or so topic on how linear the game is.
this is really the review people SHOULD be reading if they insist on letting other people make their decisions for them.
its a review of what FFXIII is, not what it isn't.
Clark wasn't playing FFVII and noting how FFXIII wasn't it
He critiques the good and the bad of what FFXIII does, and regardless what his personal opinion of the game ultimately was, THAT is a good critical review (not some BS from people that played 10 hours/minutes expecting an FFVII remake)
OK thanks for the link then :)
You mean the reviews commissioned by SE?
Another article...I'm not a huge FF fan, but wow...it's not THAT bad. I'm certainly enjoying it, flaws and all.
that there's the irony of it all. there're people out that who'd have you think you're in some sort of critical minority when the reality is its pretty far in the reverse