chiri-zetsubou-shita.jpg

Final Fantasy XIII detraction has reached its zenith with the game being lampooned for its extreme linearity in seminal satire Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.

ff13-zetsubou-shita.jpg

“They spent 5 years making huge dungeons which in the end were whittled down by superiors and marketing… Now it’s just a one-way tunnel!”

The diagram below:

Development Department – “I’ll bet today’s kids can’t clear it like that!”

That the game has been dumbed down into an excessively linear “CG movie player with RPG elements” has been the major bone of contention amongst fans and even a few commercial reviewers, although it seems likely the game will continue to be a great commercial success even as it is a critical failure, thanks to the overpowering Final Fantasy brand.


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    Comment by Shalala
    17:57 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wait when did final fantasy 13 come out?

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:20 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Where did all the people bitching about SanCon "hating" on this game go? Maybe now they'll realize that it's not really SanCon that's making shit up to make the game look bad, it's just one of the hot topic amongst Japanese gamers.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:46 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    They probably went to actual gaming sites to read actual reviews instead of "this game is linear" over and over again.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:39 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Actual gaming sites bribed by sony, eh?

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:32 14/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Maybe, but they at least give actual reviews with pros and cons about the game instead of just a couple of lines complaining about how linear the game is over and over again. I think gaming sites are more trustworthy than a site that doesn't give in-depth reviews and has a bunch of topics about mom raping sons, sons raping moms, etc

    Avatar of chriselric
    Comment by chriselric
    10:51 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I like CG movies though. Maybe I'll rent it.

    I think it's all for the best really anyway. I'd like to see Final Fantasy come out with a new fresh feeling in the games. If I had to put it abstractly, it seems like every game from 10 on had a sort of... caribbean island aesthetic to it'svisuals and so forth. And the stories themselves just felt similar.

    7 and 8 also had similar feels. I think something new could either be cool and refreshing, or crush the brand hard enough to let a new unburdened star rise to the top.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:28 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    "The shortest way to connect from a point A to another B is the FFXIII"

    Maths, fuck yeah!!

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:52 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    FF13, what a normal game.

    Avatar of BlaqCat
    Comment by BlaqCat
    Comment by Anonymous
    12:58 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    So... It's just like every other Final Fantasy game then?

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:32 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Yea, every other Final Fantasy games have you traveling in narrow passage ways the entire game. Seriously, do people not bother to reread their post for idiocy before posting?

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:48 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Because Final Fantasy games are usually non-linear and innovative.

    Super Mario Bros. is less linear.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:11 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    i dont know, do you?

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:37 14/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hey retarded idiot. FF10 has you travelling in a narrow passage for 90% of the game. FF13 is just the natural evolution of that piece of shit (FF10) since they are made by the same team.

    So where are all the FF12 bashers now? FF12 did it right with a fully nonlinear explorable world, tons of backtracking, and tons of optional quests.

    Avatar of hachi
    Comment by hachi
    11:33 14/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    yeah and you can play it for 5 years and still not beat it....

    i guess you got your moneys worth, if your a fan of huge mmos.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:35 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    i am more despaired when 360 version of ff13 is only 3dvd instead of 30

    Avatar of RogueLioness
    Comment by RogueLioness
    20:39 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    i was going to buy this game..now i have my doubts, ill probably still buy it but only if i have the money spare.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:52 14/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I wonder how Final fantasy XV will turn out if made?

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:34 14/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    There have been over 12 articles about how this game is linear.

    Alright, it's linear. We get it.

    But some of us don't care about sandbox games, nor do we mind long cut scenes. Some of us actually like this type of game.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:51 14/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I fucking agree with this guy 110%. How many fucking articles should there be about how FFXIII is linear.

    To reiterate 08:34's point:

    We. Get. It.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:12 14/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Then you need to change your news site :]

    Avatar of El Chaos
    Comment by El Chaos
    03:23 16/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    This from The Magic Box (http://www.the-magicbox.com/gaming.htm):

    - In an interview with Final Fantasy XIII art director Isamu Kamikokuryou, he mentioned that a lot of content were deleted from the game due to game volume and overall game balance. For example there was a full area surrounding Lightning's home which resembled a park; and there was a secret base for the resistance group Nora inside a shop; and there was a zoo inside the amusement facility Nautiuls. Kamikokuryou said the size of the deleted content was enough to make another game.

    Now, the chance that some stuff got cut off from the game due to it being ported to the Xbox 360 gets some base.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:46 23/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Finished ff13 yesterday and don't understand where is it bad.
    Loved it from start to end.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:10 15/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I think I'll just wait for XIV.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:07 14/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    has anyone else stopped and though that every game we play now and days is "linear" if it has an ending dosent that make it linear. if you take away the gold saucer or chocobo breeding from 7 its like 30+ hours of your life you'd have back. the card game from 8 or 9, blitzball and secret destinations from 10 and so on and so on its probably gonna be lined with DLC, and side missions taht will keep me playing for weeks

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:18 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's only a "critical failure" if you selectively exclude all the positive opinions. Might as well call any game that isn't universally liked by 100% of people (hint: no game is universally liked by 100% of people) a critical failure.

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:50 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I like easy games that behave like linear movies. It saves me from thinking and using mah brain. I think this lowers the bar and is a good thing.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:33 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Final Fantasy XIII Bash Article #8912847658

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:24 14/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    the worst things about all the negative or positive publicity this game is getting, is the fact that it's still publicity.

    if this game sucks, people are still going to try it out, because hey, we've been ranting and complaining and some people may want to see what all the fuss is about.

    or even if the game isn't bad, the bad publicity may sway gamers to look away when it arrives overseas.

    so far I've seen a lot of negative, with only 2 notable positive reviews; those being Famitsu and RPGfan http://www.rpgfan.com/reviews/Final_Fantasy_XIII/index.html

    I don't know if a positive from a big and small company or good enough to sway me, but I still want to rent it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:37 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Everyone who loved FF10 but hates FF13 for it being a "long tunnel" is retarded in the head.

    FF10 WAS THE EXACT SAME WAY YOU IDIOTS.

    At least FF13 lets you stare at a girl's ass most of the time. FF10 gave you that male meg ryan.

    Morons.

    Avatar of Jimmykitty
    Comment by Jimmykitty
    10:23 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I had such hope for this game. 5 years in the making.
    FF13 *was* one of the reasons I *was* going to buy a PS3.
    Now I will buy nothing. I will not buy this like a blind fanboy.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:45 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Another article...I'm not a huge FF fan, but wow...it's not THAT bad. I'm certainly enjoying it, flaws and all.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:10 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    that there's the irony of it all. there're people out that who'd have you think you're in some sort of critical minority when the reality is its pretty far in the reverse

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:30 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wheres the post about all the good reviews? all the people that like it?

    Nowhere. Because you're just reaching for hits.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:46 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    ah, those would be a problem to point out. as that would ruin Arte's illusion that everyone hates FFXIII.

    as would pointing out that FFXIII is hardly "the most divisive FF ever" considering its fan reviews have been as evenly split as the FF series has received since FF8 (thats right, its internet fan reviews that Sankaku loves hyping up as being horrible are pretty much the same as the last 6 FFs, including FFX which regularly ranks as the best FF nowadays, especially in Japan).

    as would pointing out THE MAJORITY of critical responses (especially the critics that actually played the game, as opposed to openly admitting they're writing their "definitive" review based on 10 hours of play) have be, wait for it, POSITIVE.
    its kind of funny to say it is a "great commercial success even as it is a critical failure" when its actually been by vast majority FAR from a critical failure.
    it may not be the great classic that reviewers, and all the kids that played it when they were 12, thought FF7 was. but is definitely still scoring well above average critically. if thats a "critical failure", well... frankly you're nothing but trolling.

    but pointing all those out would be bad cause that'll start to affect huge large the legion of parrot sheep (a not so rare breed it seems) that flock around these parts.

    Avatar of Shuu
    Comment by Shuu
    10:01 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    You mean the reviews commissioned by SE?

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:10 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    http://www.rpgfan.com/reviews/Final_Fantasy_XIII/index.html

    A pretty good review of the game instead of Sankaku's 10 or so topic on how linear the game is.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:19 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    this is really the review people SHOULD be reading if they insist on letting other people make their decisions for them.

    its a review of what FFXIII is, not what it isn't.

    Clark wasn't playing FFVII and noting how FFXIII wasn't it

    He critiques the good and the bad of what FFXIII does, and regardless what his personal opinion of the game ultimately was, THAT is a good critical review (not some BS from people that played 10 hours/minutes expecting an FFVII remake)

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:21 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    OK thanks for the link then :)

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:57 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    If the game is linear, then if you buy the 360 version, you won't be swapping disks all the time. Brilliant move by Square-enix!

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:07 14/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Frustrated ps3 fanboys searching for some conspiracy ?? :D

    Avatar of DeathCrunch
    Comment by DeathCrunch
    07:48 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Oh look, it's THIS tread again.
    In fairness it's been a whole fours days, I bet it's killed them to last this long.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:29 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    It is not a critical failure, thanks.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:04 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I agree, it's a failure as a game.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:12 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    so we can all agree you haven't even played it right?
    cause that tends to be the trend of people who say "it's a failure as a game", especially around here.

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:57 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I agree.

    I bet if Square-Enix remakes Final Fantasy VII, people will still find ways to bitch and complain about it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:25 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    The comic makes a point. It will sell well due to the hard work of their marketing team. They know about the kids these days.

    Comment by Anonymous
    Comment by Anonymous
    06:55 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Oh Sankaku, whats with the FFXIII hate? =)

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:36 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    cause mindless trolling leads to hits?

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:02 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Because it deserves it.
    ZING!

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:48 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    more like frustration of seeing how pathetic a game turned out to be in a once great series of games

    Avatar of DeathCrunch
    Comment by DeathCrunch
    07:54 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Another hit-or-miss to add to the series's pile hardly drags the series down. I doubt theres anyone who simultaneously likes 10-2, 8, 7, 3 and Mystic Quest.
    Having one bad game won't make any series bad, people still like Indiana Jones even after moaning about the 4th.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:02 13/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    This^

    It doesn't mean I'll stop giving Square's FF a go when new ones come out. Still, I imported and I sing with the choir...this one is pretty...boring.





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