The Linear RPG

vanille-ffxiii

The controversy surrounding the recent release of decidedly linear RPG Final Fantasy XIII has caused some to make unfavourable comparisons with a previously released Flash game parody RPG, “The Linear RPG,” playable below.

You can play the game in full screen here. The creator’s homepage.

The parody version seems to have all the essential elements of a top RPG, even down to the clich├ęd story; translated to Japanese and given some CG or anime style visuals it could probably sell a few hundred thousand copies at least.


    Post Comment »
    119 Comments
    Sort by: Date | Score
    Comment by Anonymous
    14:34 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    cleared at lvl 41.
    Short, yet satisfying.
    And very, very, flat.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:10 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    PLEASE PLAY THE LINEAR RPG OF YOUR COUNTRY IF YOU PRAY FOR THE WORLD PEACE!:-)

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:30 30/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Are you having an antipathy against linear rpg, huh?

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:14 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I played my first jrpg by the story, but after a couple of years i realize how repetitive this storys were. Occidental rpg are far superior to japaneses rpg. In every aspect except the chics.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:38 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    This game is 37337@! Excellent 3d graphics, great storyline, cute character designs, what more could you want? A sequel?

    Completed at level 37 btw.

    Avatar of Apirant
    Comment by Apirant
    14:03 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    That was a pretty good game. I would've gotten addicted and went to lv 99, but I managed to hold back.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:01 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    JRPGs are obviously not played for the gameplay.

    Some say they play for the story, but I find this incomrehensible, since every JRPG story is a cliched piece of shit.

    The only conclusion I can make is that people play JRPGs for the hot babes and upskirt moments. That's why I play them.

    At the moment I'm playing The Skies of Arcadia Legends, made ultra tedious by the random battles, but if it wasn't for Aika, who I am fond of, I'd throw the game in the bin.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:40 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    From my experience all FF games are linear. You go to point A then to B then to C you continue on to point Z and beat the boss. Sure there may be mini games or side dungeons on some of the game, but over all, you progress down the story.

    The game featuring Balthear and bunny girl was by far least linear FF title in my opinion. mainly due to so many side quests, but story is none the less linear.

    I do mostly play for character development and story. They do have interesting characters in my opinion. For some reason, no matter how awesome gameplay is, if story is bad, i can't really get into it.

    As for hot babe comment... most older generation grew up playing JRPG on 16 bit or 32 bit sprites... so hot babe and miniskirt moment is definitely not why we play RPG

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:37 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    i make this point too and it usually causes a swift change in topics to something totally unrelated, meaning the conversation has been completely won.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:38 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    i make this point too (regarding linearity of FF games) and it usually causes a swift change in topics to something totally unrelated, meaning the conversation has been completely won.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:43 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's really damn hard lately to make an original story without it being pointless or ridiculous nowadays. It's like everything's thought of and taken and if anything, that's why the JRPG storyline in general is dead today.

    Avatar of Kurodo
    Comment by Kurodo
    14:15 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    But a pointless and/or ridiculous story can be good too, if it's well done.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:47 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    i think it's all about presentation, and so many games nowadays look damn near identical. triACE IS KILLING US ALL

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:50 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I beat it at lvl 40... weird... @_@

    Avatar of Akumaten
    Comment by Akumaten
    12:55 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Like with any RPG, I just trained alot. I was in it for the gameplay; if it plays good, is good.

    Avatar of Bronxdragon
    Comment by Bronxdragon
    13:06 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    ...You are all hi......and it seems Sankaku is really with the whole bag train.....

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:46 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Fun fact: FF13 is way, way less linear than FF10.

    Fun fact: FF10 is widely considered a classic now.

    Fun fact: It's cool to hate new things, it makes you seem old school (or in this case, gets you a couple more hits).

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:27 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    the internet is ablaze with ff13 criticisms, artefact's just reporting it. don't ahoot the messenger

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:26 30/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I'll ahoot who ever I want

    Avatar of Strawdoll
    Comment by Strawdoll
    13:52 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Accidently 'botted' the game.

    Played it in Firefox, activated a download in another tab before the prompt appears, went back to the flash and hold left key, download prompt appears and flash forever 'walks' to the left.

    Feeling very proud and very silly of myself in the same time.

    EDIT : holding left/right key and right-click on the flash does the trick as well, if you guys have not figured it out already.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:38 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    In the sequel, they'll reveal that Spaghetti was actually the pawn of the REALLY real villain, Toast!

    Watch it happen.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:31 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    man that line game was way too easy.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:59 30/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Kliche woke up feeling wet,

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:07 31/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I came to level LV.107
    HP: 185455
    EXP: 488264

    Thank you Tasker for making me level up in my sleep:D

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:45 31/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Lvl 112
    hp: 285346
    exp: 786354

    and still lvling

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:27 17/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Auto-leveling ftw

    Lv 140
    HP: 3,186,495
    EXP: 11,340,005

    Avatar of tyciol
    Comment by tyciol
    03:15 15/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I'm not that upset, replay to find all the story twists confused me.

    Avatar of man1
    Comment by man1
    19:31 02/01/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    *Insert Adam Sessler voice here*
    "...We at S-Play give this game a 5...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...out of 5."

    [ * * * * * ]

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:52 31/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Weird, I had a wet dream last night after playing this.

    Avatar of rilimu
    Comment by rilimu
    19:02 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Finish at lv39 nice flash game and good story, lol

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:16 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    LOL! I loved it. LVL 54 XD

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:11 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Great game :)

    Warning! Spoileralert!

    Walkthrough:
    run from point 0 to 1
    run from point 1 to 2
    run from point 2 to 3
    run from point 3 to 4
    run from point 4 to 5
    run from point 5 to 6
    run from point 6 to 7
    run from point 7 to 8
    run from point 9 to 9
    run from point 9 to 10
    run from point 10 to 11
    run from point 11 to 12
    run from point 12 to 13
    run from point 13 to 14
    run from point 14 to 15
    run from point 15 to 16
    run from point 16 to 17
    run from point 17 to 18

    Congratulation, you finished this great game :)

    note: if you have trouble between one of the points, try grinding and try again

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:58 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Oh thank you, I got stuck after point 9. What would I do without walkthrough.

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:08 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    You guys suck.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:48 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I think sankaku is trying to ward off 360 users by posting stuff like this all the time. you would think one article would be enough :O

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:29 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Shit this buys me over from FFXIII lol

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:58 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    goddamn that flash game was boring

    that guy really had to TRY to make it that annoying, huh?

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:12 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Pheew I had my problems with the last spaghetti-boss !

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:31 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I kept level grinding in the final dungeon/cave and got to level 57. I think I'm a masochist.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:28 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    i reach lvl. 60, then i was bored... less then ff13 at least lol

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:24 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    What is up with this site constantly bashing this game?
    I mean, it's gotten great reviews from everyone else - this is the only site to bash it.

    Did the editor's sister get raped by a Cloud cosplayer or something?

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:32 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    He's not bashing, he's talking about other people who bash it.

    Avatar of A_Moose
    Comment by A_Moose
    10:43 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I don't know, most of the commentary he includes with the articles sounds like implicit agreement.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:25 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    All this game is missing is the pointless secret area.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:44 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    ff13 is linear but awesome

    nothing wrong with linear games. It beats 'where the fuck am I supposed to go next' games. I hate confusing, crap dungeon design that literally forces you to consult an faq because the design is so fucking ambigious.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:00 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    There's no fun in linear games... especially those with linear story-lines >_>

    Avatar of A_Moose
    Comment by A_Moose
    10:44 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wow, why has this been rated down? There's nothing wrong with this comment.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:46 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    No kidding. I like it when I know what to do next, honestly. Yeah, it'd be nice if there were different options and different paths for re-playability's sake, but by now I don't even expect that.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:52 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    So you like games that hold you by the hand? Looks like you should just stop playing video games.

    Avatar of A_Moose
    Comment by A_Moose
    10:46 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Just because 8:44 Anon appreciates linear games doesn't mean he's an idiot. Not everyone faps to Elder Scrolls games where your character is dropped into a town and there's no guiding narrative whatsoever.

    Plus I think people have already mentioned that FF XIII is supposed to be extremely challenging.

    Don't be a dick.

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:50 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Have you played an Elder Scrolls game? It always tells you exactly where to go next, you're just allowed to ignore it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:27 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Looks like you should learn to appreciate different things in games. And to respect other people's preferences.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:20 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    have you played ff13?

    its the hardest final fantasy game by a fucking mile.

    Linear level design doesn't make it easier, it just make it less tedious you dumb fuck

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:12 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I have to agree with you

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:04 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Agreed. I can't stand retards like that, they just have to ruin everything decent with their stupidity and incapability.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:30 29/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    only 95% of games are basically like that so you don't know wtf you're talking about.

    A game doesn't need to separate to 8 paths/





    Post Comment »

Popular

Recent News

Recent Galleries

Recent Comments