A police officer charged with animal cruelty got off after courts could not decide whether his putting his penis into the mouth of a cow “comforted” it or “tormented” it.
However, these charges were the least of his worries, for he still faces a string of charges relating to sex with children.
The rural cop could not be charged with bestiality as the jurisdiction had no laws forbidding sexual activity with animals; prosecutors settled for accusing him of animal cruelty instead.
The presiding judge gave much consideration to the vexing issue of whether the officer “tormented” or merely “puzzled” the five calves he is supposed to have molested. He even speculated that they may have been “comforted” by the kind officer offer of a surrogate teat, or perhaps irritated at not getting the expected meal:
“If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, ‘Where’s the milk? I’m not getting any milk.'”
“They [children] enjoy the act of suckling. Cows may be of a different disposition.”
The judge stressed he was just being fair in considering only the letter of the law:
“I’m not saying it’s OK. This is a legal question for me. It’s not a question of morals. It’s not a question of hygiene. It’s not a question of how people should conduct themselves.”
The grand jury convened eventually decided that the acts did not constitute animal cruelty.
A prosecutor was less than amused by the jury’s decision:
“I think any reasonable juror could infer that a man’s penis in the mouth of a calf is torment. It’s a crime against nature.”
The officer was caught out after a girl he supposedly abused reported him, prompting an investigation which found incriminating material on his computer, including videos allegedly depicting “sexual activity” with minors and his antics with the cows.
He was subsequently accused, together with his then girlfriend, of sexually assaulting three young girls and one boy, with the trial for these charges currently still underway.
The owner of the cows is said to be “very upset” by the incident.
Via the Philadelphia Daily News.
I don’t think you can crime against nature.
nature performed a crime against me, arrest it
“I think any reasonable juror could infer that a man’s penis in the mouth of a calf is torment. It’s a crime against nature.”
Hm… So it’s torment, regardless of whether it’s actually torment? Besides, what laws of nature is this guy breaking?
Also, those cows have a lot of tits.
“including videos allegedly depicting (…) his antics with the cows.”
Fucking lol’d.
I can’t decide if I should be pissed off at the child molestation or amused at the cow molestation…
Alright, definitely lol’ing. I mean, come on. that’s just so hilarious.
Why would any guy stick his dong into any animals mouth? o__o
I’m sometimes amazed that they’ll even put into a chick’s mouth…
You have a lot to learn my young friend. BJs are almost better then sex.