A man who attempted to commit seppuku in the traditional manner has been arrested because the knife he used to slice open his stomach was of an illegal length.
The 62-year-old man, the leader of a Fukuoka yakuza syndicate, took it upon himself to end his life in the honourable fashion of a samurai, and so took a trip to a local park with a knife.
There he committed seppuku, inflicting upon himself a 20cm wide wound as he sliced open his belly.
However, for some reason he had second thoughts about ending his life, and called one of his chinpira henchmen saying he was injured and needed help.
The underling swiftly arrived and took him to hospital, where he was swiftly treated. However, the hospital noted something strange about his demeanour, and when summoned police soon found him to be carrying the 15.5cm long combat knife he had used in his failed disemboweling.
He was arrested and charged with carrying an illegal weapon without good cause under Japan’s draconian Swords and Firearms Control Law, which only allows blades of less than 5.5cm under normal circumstances.
Police suspect the suicide to be connected to the recent suicide of the regional leader of the local syndicate, who shot himself, and another man connected to the group who was shot dead around the same time. Investigations continue.
Via Asahi.
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Seppukucomplex...?
He should have used something longer, like a wakizashi or a ninja-to. Knives aren't that good for this, I guess.
the japs dont want ppl to carry around objects longer than their penis
Seppoku-man: Hi operator... I need an ambulance.
Ambulance dispatcher: Alright, tell me where you are and the injury suffered.
Seppoku-man: I tried to commit seppoku and chickened out halfway.
Ambulance Dispatcher: We'll dispatch a second to your location.
Seppoku-man: A second?
Ambulance Dispatcher: The man who chops your head off. The only hope left for you is seppoku.
Your doing it wrong?
I thought seppuku itself was illegal, so the fact that he tried to commit it regardless of the blade size should have gotten him arrested.
Makes me wonder if it was better to have died than lived right there lol.
he fucked up
EYE DON`T APPROVE THIS!
hahaha
suicide FAIL
He must be really embarrassed...think he'll do it with a LEGAL blade this time?
So wait, you cannot own swords/katanas in Japan...?
What the hell?
Cheers,
Nick
PS: I just registered, Ohayou sankaku people
Illegal since the Meiji era.
... not exactly a new law.
LOL
I think he is a pretty poor guy. eh tried to die but failed and charged too.
*sigh*
5,5cm jap use the rule, you can not have a knife more big that your penis. under normal circumstances
Wait a sec... Don't you need a friend to commit seppuku? So you cut your belly and he cuts off your head?
Maybe that's why he had second thoughts? :D "OMG I FORGOT MAH FRIEND!" xD
Clearly his minion didn't understand his task.
LOL what a dumb person, haha!
AN HERO... almost...
simca was really amused by the stupidity and cowardice of that low-life
rofl
he forgot to ask someone to behead him after disbowel.
thats how its supposed to work so these things don't happen. So...would the behead-er be a murderer or an accomplice?
He should have gotten a keishaku to finish the job. Sloppy planner.
~ I agree..
I was about to say...
If he was going to do it, as his Ancestors did, and correctly in the way of the Samurai...
He would have had one to ensure that he cleaved his head off in ensuring completion of this sacred task.
Wouldn't the aide only chop his head off if he was about to scream in agony or try to chicken out? I thought if the person managed to do it without problems and die quickly it wouldn't be needed.
OTOH I don't know where I heard this, it might be crap.
~ In answer to your query (here) is the answer from Wiki:
"With his selected attendant (kaishakunin, his second) standing by...
>SNIPSNIP<
Usually dakikubi would occur as soon as the dagger was plunged into the abdomen.
The process became so highly ritualised that as soon as the samurai reached for his blade the kaishakunin would strike.
Eventually even the blade became unnecessary and the samurai could reach for something symbolic like a fan and this would trigger the killing stroke from his second."
Effectively, it is only the kaishakunin who delivers the fatal stroke (not the one actually committing suicide), except in a variation called the jumonji, where the suicidee makes a horizontal and vertical cut to his belly in the shape of a cross, and bleeds to death.
5.5cm blades are the longest they allow?? Am I reading this right??
My SHORTEST pocketknife has a 6cm blade. I can't recall ever having seen a knife less than 5.5cm.
centimeters would not even begin to measure some of the blades me and my friends have.
An old American tourist was arrested because of his too-long pocket knife a month or so ago in Japan, so make sure you don't take those with you if you go...
fashion fashion
There is no such thing as Half Suppuku D<
next time use a butter knife
..or a fruit skin peeler,lol.
Wouldn't those take too much time. You be there ALL DAY tring to off yourself.
Remember...it's symbolic.
How about a cheese grater???
The guy is a Yakuza leader.
Seems to me that the police are harassing him about the knife size in order to annoy him as much as they can. Sort of like Elliot Ness charging Al Capone for tax fraud - thought that was, admittedly, a much more server case.
Still... I'd do the same if I were the police. Annoy that mafioso as much as you can. I don't think it is ridiculous at all.
HOW THE HELL DID HE SURVIVE THIS AT ALL.
20 fucking cm
ever considered how fat the guy might be? just think about him having 10 cm of fats! so that's just an introductory of a layer.
It wasn't seppuku. He was trying some homemade lippo.
^Made me LOL
should've use a gun instead. In any case, dedicated suicidal people don't have second thoughts, that's why they use guns: quick and painless.
True, but samurai don't use guns.
Not ones you know about, future Samurai would kick your ass.
Real future samurai use gunblades.
he's no samurai, he's a yakuza
Seppuku's more badass though. When successful at least.
BAAAAAGGGGGAAAAAA
I just loled.
fail
EPIC FAIL!!!!XD
He graduated from Fail University with a Ph.D in Phail.
Yes, Nygren.
Is that Phail.D?
fagssssssssssss
Failed seppuku is uber fail.
Naketa to waratta! LOL
your comment made me laugh.
and yours made me cry
yours made me laugh AND cry you faggot.