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Why Won’t Women Kiss on a First Date?


A survey of whether Japanese women may feel inclined to decline a kiss on a first date reveals some coy feminine tactics at play, with the most common response, “try to modestly refuse him once” perhaps being a near universal female stratagem…

The survey itself posed the question “how would you respond if a guy tried to kiss you on a first date?” to NicoNico Douga’s large and youthful female population in a popular women’s programme aired regularly on the site. In 200 seconds some 18,000 responses were gathered, and the results are instructive.

The most common response, with 46.3% of the vote, was “try modestly refusing him once,” demonstrating perhaps that these ladies are less interested in effete and unassertive males than they are sometimes portrayed as being.

After this came the more submissive “meekly let him” with 31.6%, although it should probably be thought that the question presupposes the woman wants the man to kiss her in the first place.

The dread “refuse him” comes in with only 19%, indicating perhaps that fast movement may not go unrewarded.

Interpreting these results is of course a minefield unto itself; the editor of a male dating support site gives his interpretation: “The woman wants to test whether the man is really serious, and she is concerned about being thought an ‘easy’ girl,” which does indeed sound a universal female tactic.

However, where Japan is concerned there seems to be a more fundamental issue: are these assertive men, ready to press for a kiss, even that common anymore? The editor once more sheds some light on this:

“The impression I get from managing this site is that men are becoming more and more cowardly about romance.

They worry a great deal about what to do if they are turned down, and whether they can ever manage a romance a second time.

In these cases it really is important to act assertively, it’s not like you’ll die if you are rejected. Rather than thinking it’s hopeless and being frightened, it is a case of acting.”

Via J-Cast.

There seems to be some contradiction between the manliness desired by women and the effete manners and apparel they apparently prize, though it seems most are unanimous in considering one factor before anything else…

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