Ten Things Never to Say to a Japanese Girlfriend


Japanese ladies share the ten things they never want to hear from their partner.

The top ten:

1. “Haven’t you put on weight?” or being asked her weight – 17.4%

2. Having unwanted hair she thought would not be noticed pointed out – 13.2%

3. Being compared to a female friend for dating purposes – 12.2%

4. Being told she is “unwomanly” when she has no idea what this is – 12%

5. Being told she is humourless – 11.2%

6. Having her great new haircut be ill-received – 9.2%

7. Being told her painstaking cooking is no good – 8.2%

8. Being told her fashion sense is bad – 7.2%

9. Being compared to female celebrities – 7.2%

10. Being told her favourite perfume is too strong – 2.2%

The methodology and sample size of the survey are not disclosed.

These seem a fairly universal set of objections, though what is left unsaid is just how willing the average Japanese lady is to forgive such grievous faux pas…

Unmanly behaviour” is also much loathed. What women do actually want to hear from a partner seems mainly related to his earning potential.

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    Comment by Anonymous
    15:39 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I'm a girl and I wouldn't want any of these things said to me, obviously, but I'd rather have a guy in touch with his feminine side and I would actually prefer it if he liked anime. It would give us more in common, even if on a rather superficial level. I wouldn't care if he played eroge, owned figurines and dakimakura, or watched hentai as long as he was a nice guy. Well, okay, I'd mind it if the hentai or eroge had dog-fucking in it or some crazy shit like that, but other than that it's fine.

    Oh, and he'd have to let me snuggle with the dakimakura. Those things look awfully comfortable.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:47 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Actually, upon further reading I wouldn't really care if a guy said to me 4, 6, 8, 9, or 10. I don't even wear perfume, I don't like the smell of it.

    Comment by AmericanOtaku83
    18:39 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Things not to say to a Japanese Girlfriend:

    12: I'm American.

    Comment by GB2Ktchn
    14:55 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Less talking, more punching.

    Comment by Blacksun88
    00:34 13/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    i like the choices of picture. yomi is going extreme on her weight haha

    Comment by liveevil
    00:33 13/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    So Japanese women can't handle the truth?

    Comment by dude
    22:22 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    so... rape is like saying hello. haha!

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:10 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Humorless? Eh heheh...

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:14 13/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Cheeseburgers taste better hot, than cold.

    If a woman doesn't have an open mind, to be criticized freely by the people around her, then can she safely say she isn't insecure?

    Everyone is judgemental, and everyone is conceited, that is pretty much all that i can put into this.

    Om Nom Nom Nom.

    Comment by Sixo
    14:19 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Why the hell *would* you say these seriously without expecting to be dumped?

    Comment by Ryuhouji
    21:22 25/06/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    If it's the truth it must be said. I could say any one of these things to my gf, and she wouldn't dump me over it. get a lil angry, yeah but dump nah. thing is MOst of these things i wouldnt have to say anyways.

    Avatar of dothacknet
    Comment by ragaraga
    10:46 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    i think thats for every woman .... i think

    Comment by Ryuhouji
    21:24 25/06/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    go get a gf and find out XD

    Comment by SnooSnoo
    11:05 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I'd probably commit #2, #4 and #7.

    Avatar of tomoemami
    Comment by yaku
    10:24 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    If you apply most of these to the other gender (male) they most probably will feel insulted or depressed. It's not something just exclusive to women, you know.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:50 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I don't see anything there that would bother me except in certain contexts. For example, if it were done intentionally to annoy me, then I might take exception to the intent; picking fights is not conducive to a successful relationship. I do know for certain that I do not want people to refrain from earnestly telling me they don't enjoy something I've cooked, because I am doing that specifically for their benefit.

    Avatar of tomoemami
    Comment by yaku
    03:18 13/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I most probably have to hang out with you then; no matter the gender a lot of people I've known were bothered to some level to a lot of these comments.

    Avatar of Nochegame
    Comment by Nochegame
    10:16 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    11. Being told she is “feminist” when she knows that means "whore".

    Comment by Parn
    09:44 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Yomi's jelly rolls are erotic.

    Avatar of Ukonkivi
    Comment by Ukonkivi
    10:09 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Me telling a woman she's unwomanly would be a compliment.

    But the one that really caught me by surprise is that celebrity bit. I would think anyone would be happy to be compared to a celebrity that is drooled over by the masses.

    Japan, for their amounts of traps, has a surprising hatred of androgyny and worship of gender roles.

    Comment by liveevil
    00:52 13/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hatred of androgyny? Last time i checked Japan is the #1 trap country. Even with celebs. UISSSHHHH

    Avatar of karimsama
    Comment by Karim-sama
    11:14 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    One thing is true... Woman seems do be missing sense of humor lately.

    Wassup with that?!

    Comment by plmko
    11:54 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I say a lot of these things to female acquaintances and they seem to like it (well of course they'll pretend not too).

    Avatar of Katameido
    Comment by MaidNiac
    14:01 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    That's why having Yui as girlfriend is ideal...

    Avatar of misterchef
    Comment by Riot Gear
    14:02 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    yep,the top question you'd never ask for a girl is about their weight also,if they had their period.That's really P.O'ed.

    Comment by ReddHeretic
    13:38 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I say much worse things on a regular basis, in colorful ways, with impunity.

    Well, almost. There WAS that young lady who tried to hand me a 3GB virus. I didn't even know such things existed. Either way, I preferred not to confirm it on my computer. :-P

    You can say whatever you damn please if you're good in bed. Kissing ass for booty is a sad existence.

    Avatar of Boozedimpulsegundam
    Comment by boozedimpulsegundam
    12:05 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    #11 calling out girlfriend #1's name well with girlfriend #2

    Avatar of Vegio
    Comment by Vegio
    20:03 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Weird they didn't even said that. Maybe japanese women are not jealous ?

    Avatar of Boozedimpulsegundam
    Comment by boozedimpulsegundam
    03:54 13/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    well actually #2 was my roommate before she and i were together after #1 went back to japan. She said it was ok because she understands that we were together for 4 years and i miss her so she said don't worry about it. God!, I love japanese women!

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:05 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Errr... Most of these I wouldn't even dare say...

    Avatar of RiderFan
    Comment by RiderFan
    03:01 13/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    More things:
    * Yes, that does make your ass look big.
    * Wow, there's a lot of gray hairs!
    * Your breasts are really starting to sag.
    * Yes, this is exactly what it looks like.
    * No, you do not have the body to pull that look off.
    * Here, put this paper bag over your head.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:14 28/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Funny thing is, some girls dig that. HINT: you'll generally know when they tease and/or be blunt truthfully right back at you and it's all good fun and laughs for both.

    Comment by Anon
    08:41 14/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    As usual, Riderfan, everywhere I see you you're an expert at pissing people off.

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:34 04/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I disagree with half of this list.

    I'm asking about the weight quite often. She tries to put some healthy weight on.

    It is better if I notice this first than anybody else.

    It depends how close you are.

    There is always a space for improvement.
    is your cooking 100% successful? Maybe never tried to make something new?

    I thought that Japanese are oversensitive to smell? no?

    btw No.9 Being compared to female celebrities
    Do yo know that 99% of the pictures published in the magazines are modified? they wear heavy makeup and pictures are most commonly modified in photoshop but other software can be used as well. it is called retouching. less weight, bigger bust, better shape? with digital photography it is all possible.

    Comment by Ryuhouji
    21:26 25/06/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    mhmm, mhmm. *nods vigorously*

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:14 30/12/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    well..i kinda failed at no 7
    i told her her sandwich were great and couldn't helped vomiting in front of her..

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:27 26/10/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Anyone thats told some of those things,whether male or female,they won't like it.

    Avatar of Black_Troll
    Comment by Black_Troll
    12:37 28/09/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    100% agreed with first poster, this applies to all women regaurdless of ethnicity. Most of this should be common sense and you would have to be a real dick to honestly bring any of this up if you plan on staying in a good relationship, woman love to be flattered and this shit is the total opposite.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:13 28/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Oh please. I bitch about my best female friend's perfume and she bitches about mine. I tease her about not being chubby enough to have actual tits and being too tall. And she's still ridiculously pissed off that I'm the one friendzoning her and makes passes at me on a regular basis, which I turn down despite her being hot and cool. Too materialistic, too glam, too much of a tomboy :( Pity...

    Comment by yu
    13:31 10/07/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    same here

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:12 02/09/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hmph. Sometimes the truth hurts, women aren't too hesitant to tell us when something's wrong with us. That's for sure.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:59 21/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I can let #1 - #9 slide, but I'll probably always fail at #10.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:46 13/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    as for #4 most women anywhere anymore have no idea what unwomanly means..or what it means to be womanly for that matter.
    if they did they wouldnt have any problems getting a boyfriend or married

    Avatar of nazel212
    Comment by nazel212
    10:36 23/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    "What women do actually want to hear from a partner seems mainly related to his earning potential."

    So if I have money I can screw the rules and love me still lol XD

    Avatar of Zeick
    Comment by Zeick
    15:11 28/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    i have never smelt perfume i have liked i still don't know why people wear perfume it just makes me sick and it will hide pheromones that makes person look better than they are

    Comment by Karma
    11:58 13/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Looking through these, it's blatantly obvious why women would be bothered - they do sound like harsh criticism that really digs into the roots of who she is - e.g. her personality, and how you (the person she evidently cares about the most) perceive her as.

    On a different level, I'm not sure how I'd react if I were told these things. For me 1) would be a compliment (as I'm pretty skinny). I prefer honesty rather than someone being too concerned with being polite. I find that if I'm in a relationship, I think communication is absolutely imperative. If you're getting trembling legs are the thought of casually asking your partner a question like those listed, it speaks about the flimsy foundation of your relationship. Of course ... it's one thing to get momentarily annoyed at these comments (as I can imagine most women would), but to be seriously offended is a sign of a problem in my opinion.

    There's a difference, however, from being honest and being indifferent to her emotions. If her cooking really is bad, it's simple human decency not to spit out out her food and mercilessly berate her especially if she tried very hard. It might be easier to suggest some kind of added flavour, or ask if she'd like to cook with you sometime, that kind of thing. Honesty comes in different forms, and sometimes I guess both have to meet halfway in terms of concern for their emotions and what should be said.

    Comment by Anonymous
    Comment by Meiun Gyoushi
    09:33 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    If some said any of that to a girl, then they should be slapped.

    Avatar of CC
    Comment by CC
    06:10 12/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Being compared to female celebrities - 7.2%

    Comparing her to a male celebrity would be worse imo.

    But seriously, that could be a compliment as well.. of course telling her she looks like Swedish royality would get you no point. But saying something like "You're even cuter than " would be a compliment? :x

    Comment by ataraxia
    Comment by Anonymous
    21:11 13/06/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    Only if she's insecure enough to consider that person a threat. But that might spectacularly backfire and she may feel her fears confirmed. Insecure people are annoying to deal with.

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