Man Trapped by Penis in Wife after Kama Sutra Mishap
- Categories: International, News
- Date: Apr 10, 2009 19:41 JST
- Tags: Bizarre, Kama Sutra, Medical, Penis Abuse, Relationships, Russia
A lady had an orgasm so intense that she vaginally trapped her husband’s penis inside her for over two hours, causing the pair to be hospitalised and nearly costing the husband his manhood.
The couple, Ivan (56) and Valentina (51), had apparently received a copy of the Kama Sutra, the traditional Indian sex manual well known for some challenging positions, as a joke birthday present they say.
Undaunted and doubtless aroused, the pair opted to try out some of the positions detailed in the book; after much joyful experimentation, they reached “Indrani”, a position where the lady lies on her back with her knees brought up to her chest and legs spread, allowing the man read access.
The position proved effective and Valentina soon climaxed intensely, involuntarily contracting the muscles of her vagina vigorously as a result.
So tightly did she contract that Ivan could not so much as withdraw his penis; worse yet, the contraction persisted, and the couple vainly struggled to free themselves for two hours.
It soon became apparent that they were in serious difficulty, and would require medical assistance.
An ambulance soon arrived, and first responders described the terrible scene they were confronted with:
“We couldn’t help laughing looking at them. The two lovers, who were not young at all, were stuck in such a position!”
Doctors soon realised the man could be in danger of a most unfortunate injury:
“We had to hurry because the swelling of the man’s sex organ had begun. We called our best surgeons, but the man somehow escaped!”
It seems the prospect of the tender ministrations of the surgeons persuaded Ivan to get loose. He apparently fled the scene without debilitating injury, and doctors found only a bleeding Valentina.
The surgeons operated on her, and she escaped significant injury, though clearly the pride of both will not soon be recovering.
Via Heaven.
At least his penis was trapped in an appropriate spot…
| 
Samurai Rising – Square Enix: You Guessed it!
Mangaka Pay Tribute to Kyushu
Street Fighter V Enlists Guile
Chinese Death Simulator “Hopefully Won’t Explode”
Re:Zero “In The Nick Of Time!”
Muma Astacia Sultry Succubus Ero-Figure
Hundred Sloppy Kissing Anime
Greek Woman “Born Without A Vagina!”
Let It Die Trailer Unforgettably Fierce
Shinjuku Station Reveals “All Yu-Gi-Oh Cards Ever!”
KanColle Arcade Scores A Direct Hit
Bakuon!! Relentlessly Cute
Fuwary Gymnastics Girl Onahole Frighteningly Flexible
Star Fox Animated Short Takes Flight
Big Order “Big & Scary!”
Langrisser Re:Incarnation Tensei Really Retro
Monster Hunter Generations Monstrous As Ever
Live Action Naruto Stage-Play Filthier Than Ever
Ragnarok Mobile “Blasphemy Against Ragnarok Online”
Luxurious Shadow Wing Figure
Alice Margatroid Ero-Cosplay by Hiyo Nishizuku Full of Cheer
Sheryl Nome Bunny Girl Cosplay by Mike Super Scandalous
Marvelous Madoka Mizugi Cosplay by Mashiro Yuki
Marie Rose Cosplay by Mike Undeniably Sexy
Tasha Tracer Cosplay Truly Tantalizing
Witch Craft Works Cosplay by Kagune Intensely Seductive
Kaine Cosplay by Yuricha Flawless
Kasumigaoka Utaha Cosplay Pretty Pure
Goddess of 2ch “Another Bathing Beauty!”
Tantalizing Hestia Cosplay Busts Out
LOL!
Tell me, what do you find funny in this article? At this age they are trying to do this stuff? Maybe... Everybody should know that this can happen. I wonder how would you feel if this happens to you.
don't be such a killjoy
OHAI Ivan!
yeah... everytime i think of someone having sexual misadventures from now on i'll always think of ivan... of note though, paramedics realised his penis was swelling? is this not a normal function of sex? and also, how did they notice if he was stuck inside of her???
After orgasm for the male, the member should return to it's regular size and become flaccid again. When it's "stuck", the veins are constricted which means the blood is not let back into the body away from the penis. This is also bad because while veins to not have much to pump blood through them (blood simply oozes in veins) and the arterioles in the penis are able to continue pushing blood into the penis.
TL;DR Version: His body was not in boner mode, but the contraction forced a ballooning boner and wouldn't let the blood out.
Boner mode! XDDD
yeah.. sounds painful..
but this article was funny as hell! XDD
boner mode = EPIC, rofl.
If we ignore the penis going flaccid, why on earth wouldn't the woman's muscles relax? If anything, wouldn't you run out of energy?
I think she may have been one of those women doing kegal exercises for fitness.
What I think she should have done was contract as hard as possible to try and exhaust the muscles so they will relax. Brief discomfort but better in the long run.
But it didn't happen to me. So... LOL!
Pretty sure this is anything but common. Also this is the internet so if trolling offends, GTFO.
It's not really common, but does happen often enough. Usually it just manages to stay out of the news.
The older they are the more "experience" they received.
y soo srs =[
This is why we stick to 2d girls, right? Nah, we just can't get any around here.
Ivan is butthurt.
Butthurt? You mean penishurt.
at this age?? my folks aged 65 still do this stuff... just because your old.. doesn't mean your dead...down there...
manchild?
i think its very daring of them to do these at this certain age, especially when the word "kama sutra" popped out, either ways, i think their just very adventurous and i give my kudos to them.
it would be fucking funny and embarrassing
i've always wanted that to happen, could you imagine how tight that twat must be, licks lips*
-the beast
I would think... thank you gods I can still get it up!!! Duh. And be proud I actually got her off without a need of a fake climax on her part.
nonono it more like EPIC LOOOOLL.
Wow, that's one intense orgasm..
What if that was just said to make people not afraid. Her vagina probably is a second mouth in real life.
Obviously she was trying to consume the man's penis through her vagina. 3d women sure are dangerous
Thats why people invented porn. And now with the news things like Real Touch and that other one that works with the eroge games, whats the point of 3d girls anymore?
+????
Sounds more like an american pie situation then something you'd expect of people of that age.
I thank you for a 'younger version' as the newspost image!
Oh? So stuff like that really happen?
I should stop having sex.
I could make countless jokes here, but I won't.
No, do it.
Yeah, do it for some epic win and lulz!
Just look at everyone else's responses, you should get the idea.
+1
You can keep doing it don't worry. Dutch wives don't contract ther muscles.
fu fu fu...
Someone got busted.
If it was inflatable, I'd say that the dutch wife was.
No, no. You and your hand should be fine.
I don't believe you have ever had sex.
you know this stuff doesnt make any sense... I mean when a penis loses its erection, it should get (much) smaller and be able to get removed with almost no effort. Same thing with the vagina...
I find it hard to believe this article...
The penis will not loose an erection if enough pressure is applied on the veins - the blood will be locked and unable to return in the blood stream even after ejaculating.
At least he didn't have to stay erected for 12 hours like a certain other Russian guy - imagine if you die from an infarct right after something like this happens to you...
Lol XD
"The surgeons operated on her, and she escaped significant injury, though clearly the pride of both will not soon be recovering."
I don't know, if I made a chick cum so hard her vagina wouldn't let go I'd be bragging my ass off.
Agreed. That gives you a ton of macho points. Not only that I'm sure women from miles around are going to be "visiting" him soon.
You do notice that his 'sex organ' was swelling because of that.... try to brag about that! :)
Agreed.
Love can be painful
it can also be funny XD
Painfully funny