The case in question is that of a man, happily married for three years, who discovers his wife to have secretly had a previous career of performing in adult videos, that is to say, she is a porn star. What should he do?
We find this pitiable plea asked of Yahoo’s Chiebukuro (Ask Yahoo!), and it has been gaining much attention.
According to his plea, he had no inkling of his wife’s colourful past until he noticed her in an adult DVD his friend had… What a surprise that must have been.
“There are children (it was a shotgun marriage), and I think I can pretend I don’t know. I wasn’t really sure it was her, but there is a mole that checks out, you see. I think I should check the identity out, but I’m scared to do so. Do you think I should try asking her friends?”
The selected answer, by kirakira7727kirakira:
“To a greater or lesser extent, there is nobody who doesn’t have this kind of fault or indiscretion in their past. I think the most important thing is how we use that past experience in how we live our lives from here on.”
“If you really must check, then it would absolutely be best to ask her directly. Asking her friends, why it’s almost as though you don’t trust her.”
“But, if you really do love your wife, I think if you kept quiet about the fact you knew, in spite of knowing, that would make you a very manly, splendid husband to her.”
Incidentally, this answer is provided by a lady, though I think you might’ve guessed.
Some more of these delightful answers proffered by yahoos:
“Is she not no different to an amateur with a great experience of men?”
“If the children knew it would a great shock. Can’t you please keep it to yourself, for their sakes?”
“If you can’t forgive her, at least leave her without telling her the reason why”.
Whilst the answers given out on Yahoo might be trite and sanguine, 2ch provides a much less merciful, and also highly amusing, set of responses to the question:
“When your kids are grown up, watch it with them. Tell ‘em: ‘Look, ain’t mom pretty’”.
“If she did any scat, she’s out”.
“Reading the selected answer just makes me want to puke”.
“Unforgivable, absolutely unforgivable”.
“Usually you divorce. Seriously”.
“That’s all the more hot!”
“If it’s true then she’s just second hand goods”.
“How the hell can he trust her now, just split up already!”
“What’s wrong with her, thinking she can just marry as if nothing happened…”
“If she just kept quiet about it and married him then she’s the worst kind of woman, eh?”
“Well, I might be able to let a spot of delivery health pass, but AV is a bit much. It’s on the net after all…”
“What a little man. Who cares about her past…”
“Anyway, tell us the name of the damn video already!”
“My girlfriend performs in eroge, but I don’t say anything and I love her”.
“If there weren’t any kids it’d be an insta-divorce”.
“Why on earth did such a pompous and high and mighty answer get selected as best…”
“Are they really your kids?”
“This guy’s definitely being cheated on, eh?”
“If it was a shotgun marriage just to cover up for getting her pregnant, then he’s reaping what he’s sown.”
“With so many upright women in the world, the first thing he should do is get rid of this wretched one”.
“Husband: You’ve been in an AV then?
Wife: Eh? What are you talking about?
Husband: Here, look at this.
Wife: … Wow, look at that, amazing, she looks just like me”.
Husband: And this mole is?
Wife: … What? There’s a problem with having been in an AV? I don’t get you at all!”
“2D is the best after all”.
“I’m interested in what the reaction would be if she were to come in on you whilst you were masturbating to the DVD…”
“First, get the DVD signed”.
Finally:
“If this were an ero-manga she’d be chasing after her son’s friends for sex…”
I think you get the picture from this selection of the many thousands of comments.
It is certainly a complicated issue, but absolving the porn star of all responsibility for concealing her scandalous past, and pretending there are no practical or personal consequences to such conduct, as the Yahoo answer rather one-sidedly proposes, is probably laying it on rather thick; but I’m sure we’d all each respond rather differently to this?
Have sex with her.
“My wife was a porn star, what should I do?”
Get weird during sex. It’ll make her feel more comfortable.
I recently found out my boyfriend used to be a porn star- It does bother me a little but everyone has a past they regret but its not like he was a prostitute, there were only a few movies and not really that bad either,but at least he told me when things started to get serious so I could decide if I would enter a committed relationship with him.
live your life for you,do what make you happy,if you guys happy together it is nobody’s bussines,we are in 21 century no ones wife is a virgin there all had boyfriends before we get together most did things we will never know, and what about us men we did so many crazy things with other women which is some ones wife today, who cares live your life for you, love is more important than other peoples life.
good luck
So typical of a Japanese.
“I don’t know how to confront this person”
I love Japanese culture, but when it comes to communication they really need to grow some balls. A western guy would know how to deal with this.