Girl Roaster Foiled


A 23-year-old man who made repeated proclamations that he would roast and burn to death little girls on a board has been arrested, we hear.

The charges he stands accused of are interfering with police duties, though it seems threats of cannibalistic murder might be a more appropriate charge. Variously he said: “They’ll be delicious”, “I’ll go to an elementary school tomorrow at 11 and roast to death little girls”

He denies the charges, saying pathetically: “When I said little girls, I was actually referring to young lancefish”.

This requires a brief explanation: the phrase he uses, 小女子 / kounago, could be read either as meaning “young lancefish” (eaten in Japan), or literally as little girl. Since he actually says “I’ll go to an elementary school and roast to death little girls”, his denial rings rather hollow, for several reasons which are plain to see (such as the fish already being dead, or the obvious red flag of doing it at a school). Police at any rate are not amused.

At least this makes a change from Stab Alone Complex (which is still continuing, though seems to be abating). Via Sankei.

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    Comment by CS
    17:03 22/01/2009 # ! Neutral (0)

    I think you guys missed the obvious 'eating out' jokes here.

    Comment by ipood
    04:52 20/10/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    “I’ll go to an elementary school and roast to death little girls”

    Isn't this obviously a dark joke brought forth by the way of interpreting "kounago"?

    Comment by mizuha
    11:46 17/07/2008 # ! Neutral (0)

    Did you just miss an opportune moment to put out another witty title? Like "roast boast poster mostly toast" - or something like that?

    Can't help but wonder why people announce their ill intentions on the Internet before acting on them.

    ...never use a messy recipe; the cake will end up crazy~ :V

    Avatar of Artefact
    Comment by Artefact

    I'm sorry to disappoint, but there's surely more than enough wordplay in the bizarre body of the story.

    At least some of these people probably have an exaggerated notion of the level of anonymity conferred by the boards...

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