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Behold: The ONACOUNTER

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A technically inclined onanist has apparently developed a piece of software designed to exploit the notoriously advanced capabilities of the USB Onacon, capable of not only measuring speed, insertion time and other vital onanistic statistics, but even of uploading the results to Twitter so fellow onanists can compare their performance…

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  • Anonymous commented on February 13, 2012 19:28

    i lost it when he said it was compatible with twitter this guy is such a troll... More

  • Anonymous commented on February 12, 2012 22:36

    With Japanese people using such things as this and getting obsessed with anime girls, I can see why Japanese birth rate and marriage rate is declining in Japan. well, that just leaves more real Japanese girls... More

128 Comments »

Idol Otaku Inflict “Semen Handshake” on AKB48

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Scandalous allegations about what goes on at idol handshaking events are once again being made, this time describing the extremes of perversion some ultra-creepy otaku engage in at the expense of their beloved idols.

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  • Anonymous commented on February 11, 2012 01:30

    Um, *@^!))!^& There will always be stupid people in this world, but seriously, this is getting to the retarded level.... More

  • Anonymous commented on February 9, 2012 03:18

    I would be defending them. You know why? Because this article is a farce and a fucking half, and deserves the ridicule it gets for the ridiculously anal portrayal of such a group. If for... More

243 Comments »

Goddess of 2ch: “Mostly I Just Use My Fingers, But…”

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“Goma-chan,” a slender and distinctly smooth goddess of 2ch, has been kind enough to share some of her more intimate moments with complete strangers, noting that although “I mostly just use my fingers” she also has access to a blue plastic companion, something she seems keen to demonstrate the use of… Read the rest of this entry »

  • Anonymous commented on January 24, 2012 14:54

    I didn't said that I would stick it in raw.... More

  • Anonymous commented on January 24, 2012 14:51

    Time to get hard on anus/anal.... More

85 Comments »

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Virginal onanists are hailing the advent of the USB Onacon as a major step forward, with at least one reviewer praising it as “like having sex” and others noting that this brings them tantalisingly close to finally being able to lose their virginity to their PCs…

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  • Anonymous commented on February 11, 2012 07:19

    "Using it is certainly exciting. IT FEELS LIKE SEX" More like "it feels like how I always imagined having sex feels"... More

  • ums1405 commented on February 11, 2012 01:25

    Its $200, fuck dat! Taking the girl downstairs out for drink then sex wont cost more than $80, plus condoms!... More

305 Comments »

Behold the LoliTube

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Lolicon and Ro-Kyu-Bu! fans (if the two groups are indeed distinct) have been excited to note the arrival of a series of rather flagrant “LoliTube” onaholes based on characters bearing an uncanny resemblance to those of the greatest and only loli basketball anime to date.

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  • Akemi Mokoto commented on December 13, 2011 12:03

    If I was desperate enough to have sex with tight plastic, I'd buy it. I'd rather bone them but that will never happen. >:\... More

  • Akemi Mokoto commented on December 13, 2011 11:56

    LOL XDDDD... More

108 Comments »

36% of 16-19-Year-Old Boys “Sexless”

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Japanese statistics which suggest over a third of male youths and nearly two thirds of female youths have no interest in or an active dislike of sex have lately been exciting the concern of Japanese online.

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  • Sylar commented on December 24, 2011 04:00

    Yes they don't want too many "you-know-who" going around.... More

  • Anonymous commented on December 20, 2011 07:12

    I second this comment! 29 is ...so close... More

269 Comments »

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Creepy otaku are rejoicing at the release of the USB ONACON, an electronic USB dutch wife being sold bundled together with eroge classic 3D Custom Girl, finally bringing the latest in onanistic technology to semen-stained PCs everywhere.

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  • Anonymous commented on January 19, 2012 14:42

    8x better But 10x sadder... More

  • Anonymous commented on December 14, 2011 00:48

    Freakin GENIUS! Do want.... More

273 Comments »

Goddess of 2ch “Hentai-chan”: “I Need More Sex Friends!”

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“Hentai-chan,” as she begs to be called, complains that she only has one sex friend and as a consequence seemingly can’t keep her hands off herself. Fortunately, she is only too happy to share the sight with collection of anonymous admirers.

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  • Kanichnapat commented on November 18, 2011 20:55

    I watch too much hentai =.="... More

  • Anonymous commented on November 12, 2011 07:19

    i woould so fuck that girl :)... More

132 Comments »

Princess X “Highest Level Eroge Yet”

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Eroge fans have been revelling in the discovery of one of the most “high level” eroge yet – Princess X.

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  • Anonymous commented on January 2, 2012 16:19

    Why WOULDN'T he be fucking a shapeless robot?... More

  • Anonymous commented on October 17, 2011 14:31

    what game is this? O.o... More

315 Comments »

Goddess of 2ch: “Dark Skin & Nice Body”

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This latest goddess has been showing off her shapely body, saucy lingerie and dark skin to 2ch – and even throws in some sultry onanism for good measure.

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  • maomao_xf commented on December 31, 2011 00:28

    look look... More

  • Anonymous commented on September 22, 2011 09:36

    Man, I'm starting to think that like 9 out of 10 girls over there are exhibitionists. I really need to spend a week or two in Japan. >.<... More

83 Comments »

“How To Make Any Picture Into Porn”

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The denizens of 2ch’s VIP board have discovered what they are sure is a sure way to make even the most innocuous of images into a full-on display of perverted exhibitionism:

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  • Anonymous commented on September 22, 2011 23:15

    That Golgo 13 face. Priceless.... More

  • Anonymous commented on September 22, 2011 07:48

    Kuribo is in deep shit.... More

119 Comments »

AKB48 Rage at “Moral Collapse” of Idol Otaku

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Members of top idol group AKB48 have been complaining bitterly of outrageous mistreatment at the hands of the creepy otaku they gouge into attending handshaking events, with many such fans apparently making obscene and degrading remarks to idols who are in most cases mere schoolgirls.

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  • Anonymous commented on February 4, 2012 12:06

    a jobs a job... More

  • Anonymous commented on November 5, 2011 18:22

    Apple new product should be named Idol... More

265 Comments »

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