Parody Onaholes More Provocative Than Ever

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From SAO to Nyuruko and Onamas, lately parody onaholes have been arising to suit all comers, with the market looking anything but soft.

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  • Anonymous commented on November 11, 2012 13:54

    Sweet Ass Online... More

  • Anonymous commented on November 11, 2012 11:22

    The one you come in or the one the box comes in?... More


Not Again: 1000 Watch as Chinese Cops Rescue Sex Doll

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Chinese police have been humiliated after 18 of their finest spent close to an hour recovering what turned out to be a discarded sex toy.

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  • Anonymous commented on September 12, 2012 21:16

    Seriously i had a gd laugh...gd try... More

  • Anonymous commented on July 19, 2012 06:46

    Police - EPIC FAIL!!! hahahahaha!!!! :D... More


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China’s newly discovered mysterious mushroom, that most rare and expensive of delicacies, has already been incorporated into the nation’s famed cuisine in the form of a dish which may be a bit much even for Chinese gourmands – or at least those who have worked out the secret of its prime ingredient, at any rate…

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  • Anonymous commented on July 9, 2012 20:05

    awww she didn't eat it.... More

  • Anonymous commented on June 30, 2012 17:52

    man, it looks like a dick XD... More


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The Chinese media has been utterly humiliated after reporting the discovery of a mysterious mushroom, only have it pointed out to them that it was actually a discarded artificial vagina.

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  • Anonymous commented on August 24, 2012 14:39

    fuck you,did you ever go to mainland? don't perorate without experience... More

  • Anonymous commented on July 9, 2012 20:14

    A food I'd like to give me immortality would be a magical burger that taste like the rainbow and shits out piles of money...... More


Puella Magi Madoka Onanistica

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The not inconsiderable overlap between fans of Puella Magi Madoka Magica and onanistically inclined otaku has led to the inevitable line of magical puellae onaholes based on Madoka, Homura and poor Mami, although someone seems to have neglected a certain lovable akuma…

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  • Gitami commented on May 11, 2012 11:33

    Can I get a soulgem version? I'd seriously buy that. The metaphysical masturbatory joy of fucking another soul while engaged over an internet fight on meaning of life and social behaviours.... More

  • Anonymous commented on May 10, 2012 15:39

    Um, Quality? :)... More


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Those whose sexual partners are generally of the inflatable or plastic variety have been fascinated to gain a glimpse of the place where they come into being – in China, naturally.

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  • Anonymous commented on March 11, 2012 14:13

    Run! It's gonna explode!... More

  • Anonymous commented on February 19, 2012 22:48

    heh.. i prefer the petitroids all in one. what would i ask for?... More


Behold: The ONACOUNTER

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A technically inclined onanist has apparently developed a piece of software designed to exploit the notoriously advanced capabilities of the USB Onacon, capable of not only measuring speed, insertion time and other vital onanistic statistics, but even of uploading the results to Twitter so fellow onanists can compare their performance…

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  • Anonymous commented on February 15, 2012 01:35

    not in Japan, at any rate. I find that likeminded "otaku" abroad couple together to sire otalings.... More

  • Anonymous commented on February 14, 2012 08:37

    Our fapping will pull us through you fap there and i'll fap here FAP 'EM ALL!!! sorry, just had to finish it... More


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Virginal onanists are hailing the advent of the USB Onacon as a major step forward, with at least one reviewer praising it as “like having sex” and others noting that this brings them tantalisingly close to finally being able to lose their virginity to their PCs…

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  • Why you want to know commented on April 27, 2012 14:03

    slowpoke.jpeg here But this make my day lol.... More

  • Anonymous commented on February 11, 2012 07:19

    "Using it is certainly exciting. IT FEELS LIKE SEX" More like "it feels like how I always imagined having sex feels"... More


Behold the LoliTube

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Lolicon and Ro-Kyu-Bu! fans (if the two groups are indeed distinct) have been excited to note the arrival of a series of rather flagrant “LoliTube” onaholes based on characters bearing an uncanny resemblance to those of the greatest and only loli basketball anime to date.

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  • Anonymous commented on February 12, 2013 18:51

    love looking at and playnig with little girls nothing better... More

  • Anonymous commented on June 15, 2012 23:51

    Hey, anything worth doing is worth doing right.... More


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Creepy otaku are rejoicing at the release of the USB ONACON, an electronic USB dutch wife being sold bundled together with eroge classic 3D Custom Girl, finally bringing the latest in onanistic technology to semen-stained PCs everywhere.

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  • Anonymous commented on March 4, 2013 03:08

    You know that if you remain virgin for 30 years, you become a wizard?... More

  • Anonymous commented on January 19, 2012 14:42

    8x better But 10x sadder... More


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Love doll fanciers have once again been collecting the finest examples of the art, with the more enthusiastic proponents of doll love going so far as to proclaim the supieriority of their plastic companions to not only real females but even their rather more attainable 2D equivalents as well…

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  • Anonymous commented on February 29, 2012 16:25

    There are some that want you to entertain them 24/7 without having to call the shots. I call them panel girls. You know, like an american idol contest jury member, they prefer a distance between you and... More

  • Anonymous commented on February 2, 2012 22:41

    Well well! Look at here guys, we got a Robosexual!! ahaha!... More


The Onapet Comes From the Bottom of the Sea

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Ikamusume has unofficially invaded the world of Dutch wives by deploying one of her cephalopoidal minions in the form of Tako Musume.

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  • Anonymous commented on April 16, 2012 10:01

    which one is better?... More

  • Anonymous commented on July 21, 2011 12:08

    Man it's shit like this that gives me a huge case of penis envy.... More


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