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Creepy otaku are rejoicing at the release of the USB ONACON, an electronic USB dutch wife being sold bundled together with eroge classic 3D Custom Girl, finally bringing the latest in onanistic technology to semen-stained PCs everywhere.

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  • Anonymous commented on March 4, 2013 03:08

    You know that if you remain virgin for 30 years, you become a wizard?... More

  • Anonymous commented on January 19, 2012 14:42

    8x better But 10x sadder... More


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Love doll fanciers have once again been collecting the finest examples of the art, with the more enthusiastic proponents of doll love going so far as to proclaim the supieriority of their plastic companions to not only real females but even their rather more attainable 2D equivalents as well…

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  • Anonymous commented on February 29, 2012 16:25

    There are some that want you to entertain them 24/7 without having to call the shots. I call them panel girls. You know, like an american idol contest jury member, they prefer a distance between you and... More

  • Anonymous commented on February 2, 2012 22:41

    Well well! Look at here guys, we got a Robosexual!! ahaha!... More


The Onapet Comes From the Bottom of the Sea

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Ikamusume has unofficially invaded the world of Dutch wives by deploying one of her cephalopoidal minions in the form of Tako Musume.

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  • Anonymous commented on April 16, 2012 10:01

    which one is better?... More

  • Anonymous commented on July 21, 2011 12:08

    Man it's shit like this that gives me a huge case of penis envy.... More


And You Thought Doller AVs Were Creepy!

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“Her body is a doll, her heart is your imouto” – so runs the patter for “Imouto Rin,” an adult video featuring over an hour of nothing less than a man having sex with a doll he imagines to be his little sister who died 10 years ago in a car crash…

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  • RizuRizuzu commented on July 15, 2013 08:42

    I.. Need to know if there's a website I could stream it from. For science.... More

  • Anonymous commented on November 15, 2012 15:02

    Soooooo....anyone know where to download or watch this? Kinda interested in seeing what all the fuss is about.... More


My Little Sister Can’t Be This Tight

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Ore no Imouto has received the obligatory parody dutch wife treatment, with the memorable if curious title of “My Little Sister Can’t Be This Tight.”

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  • Anonymous commented on October 8, 2011 00:25

    yeah it's weird, but well still lovely ^^... More

  • Anonymous commented on April 30, 2011 15:07

    LOL ur dick will be snap to half XD... More


“Is This a Girl or a Doll!?”

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Whether the rather ersatz looking girl pictured is an actual belle or a “mannequin” is the subject of no small debate amongst both Chinese and Japanese Internet users alike.

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  • Anonymous commented on April 11, 2012 08:52

    she is 90% photoshop... More

  • Elissa commented on October 11, 2011 10:32

    It's something between creepy and cute X3!!... More


Tenga Manga Spurts Forth

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Top ona-hole brand Tenga is promoting a manga based on its products, closing the gap between onanism and manga further still.

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  • Anonymous commented on November 21, 2011 09:20

    anyone know where I can actually read this manga?... More

  • FJ commented on January 30, 2011 15:17

    fap fap fap fap!... More


“Aren’t These Better Than Real Humans?”

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Love doll fanciers are starting to wonder whether their plastic goddesses are really a pale imitation of the real thing after all…

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  • Anonymous commented on July 10, 2011 00:05

    Nice fuckable dolls hahaha!... ^_^... More

  • Crowbar commented on May 6, 2011 20:22

    Bored, dude?... More


The Strangest Ona-Holes Yet…

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Creepy dutch wife connoisseurs have been marvelling at what may be the most original ona-hole design yet.

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  • Anonymous commented on January 8, 2011 14:28

    Are there any penis recomendations on these boxes?! "Recommended for people with penis deformations only!" Like.... WTH!... More

  • kenshinflyer commented on January 7, 2011 23:48

    To rephrase a line from Guns N' Roses' song "November Rain:" "But, darling, when I use you, don't you know you feel the same..."... More


A Certain Onanistic Hole

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Index and Misaka (or at least characters bearing an uncanny resemblance to them) are the latest anime maidens to find themselves marketed as ona-holes:

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  • Anonymous commented on December 6, 2010 12:30

    donde esta mi hamburgesa... More

  • PrinceHeir commented on December 5, 2010 12:24

    how do you clean this things anyway?... More


usb-onacon-1.jpg

Tech Arts 3D are reporting their new penis controller system, the “USB OnaCon,” has been completed and will soon be available to ero-gamers.

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  • Anonymous commented on December 31, 2011 07:18

    My penis was 15cm (6 inches) when I was 18yo, now I'm 20yo and my penis is 17cm (almost 7 inches) it's a miracle!... More

  • Anonymous commented on November 12, 2011 05:47

    How the fuck are you supposed to clean that out?... More


Finally – Control Games With Your Penis

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Eroge developer Illusion have made public a short video showing off a penis-controlled eroge tech demo.

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  • Anonymous commented on January 8, 2011 21:39

    i would love a version i could control with my butt... More

  • Anonymous commented on December 12, 2010 23:13

    @UncommonlyOtaku you do realize a penis shrinks when it's not stimulated, and the whole thing probably has to be lubricated pretty well like a fleshlight? there's really no way it could get stuck in something that's made... More


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