Behold: The ONACOUNTER

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A technically inclined onanist has apparently developed a piece of software designed to exploit the notoriously advanced capabilities of the USB Onacon, capable of not only measuring speed, insertion time and other vital onanistic statistics, but even of uploading the results to Twitter so fellow onanists can compare their performance…

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  • Anonymous commented on February 13, 2012 19:28

    i lost it when he said it was compatible with twitter this guy is such a troll... More

  • Anonymous commented on February 12, 2012 22:36

    With Japanese people using such things as this and getting obsessed with anime girls, I can see why Japanese birth rate and marriage rate is declining in Japan. well, that just leaves more real Japanese girls... More


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Virginal onanists are hailing the advent of the USB Onacon as a major step forward, with at least one reviewer praising it as “like having sex” and others noting that this brings them tantalisingly close to finally being able to lose their virginity to their PCs…

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  • Anonymous commented on February 11, 2012 07:19

    "Using it is certainly exciting. IT FEELS LIKE SEX" More like "it feels like how I always imagined having sex feels"... More

  • ums1405 commented on February 11, 2012 01:25

    Its $200, fuck dat! Taking the girl downstairs out for drink then sex wont cost more than $80, plus condoms!... More


Behold the LoliTube

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Lolicon and Ro-Kyu-Bu! fans (if the two groups are indeed distinct) have been excited to note the arrival of a series of rather flagrant “LoliTube” onaholes based on characters bearing an uncanny resemblance to those of the greatest and only loli basketball anime to date.

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  • Akemi Mokoto commented on December 13, 2011 12:03

    If I was desperate enough to have sex with tight plastic, I'd buy it. I'd rather bone them but that will never happen. >:\... More

  • Akemi Mokoto commented on December 13, 2011 11:56

    LOL XDDDD... More


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Creepy otaku are rejoicing at the release of the USB ONACON, an electronic USB dutch wife being sold bundled together with eroge classic 3D Custom Girl, finally bringing the latest in onanistic technology to semen-stained PCs everywhere.

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  • Anonymous commented on January 19, 2012 14:42

    8x better But 10x sadder... More

  • Anonymous commented on December 14, 2011 00:48

    Freakin GENIUS! Do want.... More


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Love doll fanciers have once again been collecting the finest examples of the art, with the more enthusiastic proponents of doll love going so far as to proclaim the supieriority of their plastic companions to not only real females but even their rather more attainable 2D equivalents as well…

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  • Anonymous commented on February 2, 2012 22:41

    Well well! Look at here guys, we got a Robosexual!! ahaha!... More

  • Anonymous commented on February 1, 2012 09:22

    This is probably controversial, but I think pedophiles should be encouraged to use sex dolls and *fake* pedo porn. Porn has been shown to decrease the incidence of rape in normal populations. If there were... More


The Onapet Comes From the Bottom of the Sea

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Ikamusume has unofficially invaded the world of Dutch wives by deploying one of her cephalopoidal minions in the form of Tako Musume.

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  • Anonymous commented on July 21, 2011 12:08

    Man it's shit like this that gives me a huge case of penis envy.... More

  • Anonymous commented on July 20, 2011 10:02

    I don't get it. I mean.. how is it possible for a company to market a product like this with a certain anime character's likeness and not get their ass sued off? Yes, granted they... More


And You Thought Doller AVs Were Creepy!

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“Her body is a doll, her heart is your imouto” – so runs the patter for “Imouto Rin,” an adult video featuring over an hour of nothing less than a man having sex with a doll he imagines to be his little sister who died 10 years ago in a car crash…

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  • Anonymous commented on December 27, 2011 01:58

    anyone know where to download this?... More

  • Stuart commented on September 10, 2011 16:19

    Did you hear this 2nd hand from someone else, or was it in the news? For what it's worth, according to http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=1657&highlight=doll (which is about 2 months old) they are still delivering to UK addresses.... More


My Little Sister Can’t Be This Tight

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Ore no Imouto has received the obligatory parody dutch wife treatment, with the memorable if curious title of “My Little Sister Can’t Be This Tight.”

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  • Anonymous commented on October 8, 2011 00:25

    yeah it's weird, but well still lovely ^^... More

  • Anonymous commented on April 30, 2011 15:07

    LOL ur dick will be snap to half XD... More


“Is This a Girl or a Doll!?”

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Whether the rather ersatz looking girl pictured is an actual belle or a “mannequin” is the subject of no small debate amongst both Chinese and Japanese Internet users alike.

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  • Elissa commented on October 11, 2011 10:32

    It's something between creepy and cute X3!!... More

  • Anonymous commented on October 10, 2011 12:17

    relly creepy...... More


Tenga Manga Spurts Forth

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Top ona-hole brand Tenga is promoting a manga based on its products, closing the gap between onanism and manga further still.

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  • Anonymous commented on November 21, 2011 09:20

    anyone know where I can actually read this manga?... More

  • FJ commented on January 30, 2011 15:17

    fap fap fap fap!... More


“Aren’t These Better Than Real Humans?”

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Love doll fanciers are starting to wonder whether their plastic goddesses are really a pale imitation of the real thing after all…

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  • Anonymous commented on July 10, 2011 00:05

    Nice fuckable dolls hahaha!... ^_^... More

  • Crowbar commented on May 6, 2011 20:22

    Bored, dude?... More


The Strangest Ona-Holes Yet…

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Creepy dutch wife connoisseurs have been marvelling at what may be the most original ona-hole design yet.

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  • Anonymous commented on January 8, 2011 14:28

    Are there any penis recomendations on these boxes?! "Recommended for people with penis deformations only!" Like.... WTH!... More

  • kenshinflyer commented on January 7, 2011 23:48

    To rephrase a line from Guns N' Roses' song "November Rain:" "But, darling, when I use you, don't you know you feel the same..."... More


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