AKB48 Otaku Sues Sawer Over Lost Handshaking Event

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An enraged AKB48 fan is attempting to sue the maniac behind the saw rampage which has led to the next handshaking event being cancelled, demanding the cost of the 330 CDs he bought along with payment for the emotional distress of the cancellation.

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  • Anonymous commented on May 31, 2014 23:15

    Funny that people making these claims about sarcasm and japan when their animes, mangas, games, etc have sarcastic characters.... More

  • Indra EMC commented on May 31, 2014 11:01

    At least i NEVER buy those CD's or attend any "Handshake" event, because i can spend my money for better purpose than for "handshaking" with someone who doesn't give a Sh*t about me.... More


AKB48 Otaku’s “$200,000” Election Budget

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Even as the aftermath of the saw attack on AKB48 continues, the Japanese media are still finding creepy otaku in the midst of preparations for the general election – the latest boasting that his election spend will come to 20,000,000 yen and showing off his house-filling and landfill-bound CD collection.

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  • Anonymous commented on May 31, 2014 22:01

    It's a code that you enter online. It's not a form.... More

  • Daniel Park commented on May 31, 2014 06:14

    I'm a proud lolicon :P... More


Cops Demand End To AKB48 Handshaking Events

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In the wake of two AKB48 girls being viciously sawed at one of their own handshaking events, police have told the group’s management they must improve security – starting by putting a stop to their infamous handshaking events, widely believed to be the only thing keeping the group on top of the charts…

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  • Anonymous commented on May 31, 2014 13:49

    Britain censors everything that is attractively cute. Cute must be sexless at all times. Christmas cake is too young. All naked women must be at least wrinkly.... More

  • Anonymous commented on May 31, 2014 07:42

    hahaha... ridiculous!!!... More


AKB48 Members Maimed in Saw Attack

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A saw-wielding maniac has attacked AKB48 members at their latest handshaking event, severely injuring Rina Kawaei and Anna Iriyama along with a staff member.

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  • Anonymous commented on August 30, 2015 23:42

    Jennifer Aniston recently and unmarried Alex Justin Theroux secretly married, but the wedding is too mysterious, and even mobile phones have already been confiscated guests, so we missed viewing Aniston's wedding, no wedding outflow, so... More

  • Anonymous commented on July 10, 2014 01:56

    ....................../¯/ ....................../../ .............../¯/¯/../¯¯\ ..............|..'...'..'..|¯\¯| ..............|............¯../ ...............\..........._/.........… ................|.........|...........… ................|.........|...........… ................|.........|...../|....… ................|.........|.../..|....… ............../|..........|./....|....… ............/..|..........|......|....… ...........|...|..........|¯\¯\¯\¯\/..… ............\..\...........\_|_|_|_|..… ..............\_\.....................… take this sancrapu... More


AKB48 Sales Higher Than Ever: “Here’s Why”

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The all important 6th AKB48 general election is underway, and with sales on the first day topping 1,462,000 a new record has been set – though online there is some doubt as to just how they accomplished this feat, with vast numbers of sales evidently going the creepy otaku desperate enough to buy scores of copies so they can vote up their favourite girl.

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  • Anonymous commented on June 13, 2014 16:33

    21:26 26/05/2014 and otakus bitch please horsehater... More

  • Anonymous commented on May 29, 2014 16:05

    I sure 13 year old kids from UK and US would buy last years albums just because its J-popular among fans.... More


AKB48 Frozen Pantsu CM Frigid Indeed

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Frozen’s enormous fame in Japan and AKB’s near complete dominance of the local mass media looks to have given rise to a suspiciously icy commercial by pantsu maker Peach John to promote their newly developed lingerie, the “Coolish Bra” – featuring no less than Haruna Kojima of AKB48 fame appropriately enough proclaiming “I am a cold woman.”

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  • Anonymous commented on May 26, 2014 10:11

    I duuno about Japanese but I know that Chinese use names that are popular for example, if Frozen Is a big hit they will use it without changing any words, and claim they're the original,... More

  • Dia commented on May 24, 2014 18:06

    Ah. So that's why they he was talking all stiff like that.... More


Japan “Caused Drop In Global Music Sales”

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idol-handshaking

Japan is being blamed for a drop in global music sales after sales tanked 16.7%, with such a huge drop in sales in the world’s second largest music market causing the world music market to shrink 3.9%.

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  • Anonymous commented on April 1, 2016 09:38

    in france the legal age of consent is 15... More

  • Anonymous commented on March 31, 2016 12:25

    If they criminalize downloading copyrighted music, less people will check out their music. Nowadays there are multitudes of different genres for music that are homemade and released for free. People are more likely to support... More


Tokyo Olympics “Brought To You By AKB48…”

Yasushi Akimoto

AKB48 boss Yasushi Akimoto is about to be announced as one of the directors of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games, much to the despair of those few deluded souls who still thought the event had something to do with sports rather than lucrative backroom deals.

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  • Anonymous commented on March 27, 2014 11:15

    S-E-X-U-A-L__D-E-V-I-A-N-T! Go fuck yourself, you fucking island monkey!... More

  • Anonymous commented on March 15, 2014 11:23

    There are more people in the world who use chinese-based writing than there are who use english so if we're going on what is 'dying' then it's english that should be gone. Quick name... More


AKB48 Finally Dead

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In what will likely overjoy both fans and detractors of AKB48 for radically different reasons, Namco Bandai have announced the release of a new arcade game entitled, “Sailor Zombie: AKB48 Arcade Edition”, featuring zombified versions of various AKB members to be riddled with holes by players – with a rhythm based dance portion performed by the undead girls to also feature, their dance skills fortunately being perfect for undead shambling…

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  • Anonymous commented on February 26, 2014 16:56

    they were not attractive. i would sooner waifu my god dam PC (who i will replace every 5 years, sorry darling but thats just how shit goes, your performance goes down and i'm just too... More

  • Anonymous commented on February 19, 2014 14:03

    Who said ugly can't mean attractive?... More


AKB Fans “Blinded By Tears” At Yuko Oshima Graduation

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The surprise “graduation” of AKB idol Yuko Oshima has been greeted as a calamity by her fans – including such choice quotes as “I poured 3 million yen into her, I can’t see for the tears now…”

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  • Anonymous commented on January 6, 2014 16:18

    “I went to so many of her handshaking events. She even remembered my name. Why did she betray my feelings? I spent all my wages and even my bonus for you, and you do this!?... More

  • Joseph Brenner commented on January 6, 2014 07:21

    "Talk about professionality." Yeah, but this is the AKB48 machine, remember. They may very well have staff consulting a farley file, feeding hints to her via an ear piece.... More


Lady Gaga Outrages Fans by Congratulating AKB48

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Japan’s little monsters have been outraged at Lady Gaga’s decision to “lower herself” to congratulating AKB48 on their 8th anniversary.

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  • Anonymous commented on December 29, 2013 22:30

    japanese music industy was pretty much dead as lest in terms of people paying for it before AKB48. AKB48 has totally turned that around with japan now spending and buying more physical CD/DVD than USA.... More

  • Anonymous commented on December 14, 2013 19:08

    Lol singers like gaga will comment on japan because they think the group is popular and cool and the japanese people like it! Or maybe gaga wants to be a lezzie loli. secretly!... More


Cops First Bust of “JK Photography Club”

cg by takeda hiromitsu

Japanese police have for the first time busted a “JK photography club” which offered patrons the chance for some intimate photography sessions with schoolgirls in an effort to get round the recent restrictions on having schoolgirls provide reflexology services

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  • Anonymous commented on December 8, 2013 09:40

    Thank You, I didn't want you to visit anyway. Sincerely, Ishihara... More

  • Anonymous commented on December 5, 2013 12:23

    But in Soviet Russia it wasn't illegal to take pictures of underage girls... More


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