AKB48 Joins the Brawl

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The popular Nintendo fighters of the next highly anticipated entry into the Smash Brothers franchise have been met with new challengers of (for optimists at least) the most unexpected sort – with the likes of AKB48 ready to pit their legendary self-defense skills against Nintendo’s combatants in their latest inescapable TV ad.

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  • Anonymous commented on September 13, 2014 04:35

    The "Nintendo Defense Force" is huge enough to count, though.... More

  • MARl0 commented on September 12, 2014 12:05

    I know that, I've had an import 3DS for years. Anyway, the demo of the game is awesome, so I can't wait to play the final game tomorrow!... More


Shizuka Ohya “AKB48′s Most Ghastly Makeup Creature Yet”

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The exposure of yet another AKB48 member’s “horrible ugliness” when bereft of the beautifying powers of makeup is again causing waves amongst fans of mass manufactured idol groups – the sacrificial member this time being 22-year-old Team B member Shizuka Ohya.

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  • Anonymous commented on August 15, 2014 22:38

    Ironic from someone commenting on SanCom... More

  • Anonymous commented on August 15, 2014 17:49

    i though korean netizens were harsh but japanese netizens are worst... no wonder japan has the largest scale of suicide... More


AKB JK Cage Rape “Too Much For Golden Time”

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AKB48 national idol Yuria Kizaki’s appearance as a schoolgirl sex slave locked in a cage and clad only in her underwear on prime-time evening TV has been attracting much controversy, even amongst her fans it would seem.

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  • Anonymous commented on October 21, 2014 09:22

    This is pretty much how Perfect Blue started, right?... More

  • Anonymous commented on August 7, 2014 13:07

    LOL damn dude that was funny... More


AKB Otaku Creates Robo-Yukirin: “Now Just Add Hands…”

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A fan-created robotic version of AKB48 idol Yuki Kashiwagi has lately been
the subject of much attention, being acclaimed as “too realistic” and “creepily close – though whether this is down to the uncanny valley or her inimitable AKB aura is not clear.

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  • Anonymous commented on July 26, 2014 11:12

    she only get boyfriend if another otaku make male bot, and she can handle most disgusting person in hand shaking event... More

  • Anonymous commented on July 24, 2014 05:59

    WE GAIJIN DONT UNDERSTAND YOUR CULTURE WE MUST DESTROY... More


AKB48 Handshaking “Now Like A Slave Market”

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Mere weeks after one of them tried to saw off their hands, AKB48 are again hard at work shaking the hands of their creepy fans – who are now under such heavy guard that the entire process has been compared unfavourably to a prison visit or the more unstable kind of border crossing…

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  • Anonymous commented on November 25, 2014 04:03

    Then grab a nuke yourself instead of bitching about it.... More

  • Anonymous commented on July 23, 2014 06:59

    Nuke that god-forsaken island for GOD's sake. Turn those evil island monkeys into radioactive charcoal as it should have been during WWII... More


AKB48 GE37: Mayuyu Crushes Sasshi “I Will Protect AKB”

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The results to the 37th AKB48 general election have been announced, seeing something of an upset as super carnivore Rino Sashihara’s reign was ended by Mayu Watanabe with 159,854 votes.

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  • Anonymous commented on November 25, 2014 04:06

    A good burn right there.. sir.... More

  • Anonymous commented on June 11, 2014 04:23

    The average Japanese male has a penis so small, he can only have sex with hamsters.... More


Farmer’s 4600 Votes for Sashihara: “I Employ A CD Opener”

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AKB48 “super carnivore” Rino Sashihara’s fans are as ardent as ever, with a strawberry farmer’s confession that he has to employ an assistant to separate all his thousands of votes from their accompanying CDs still managing to provoke awe online.

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  • Anonymous commented on June 9, 2014 01:38

    Buying multiple albums is just dumb.... More

  • Anonymous commented on June 8, 2014 10:47

    With that money I could retire at 65 instead of 70.... More


AKB48 Otaku “Now Treated Like Paying Criminals”

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The first AKB48 performance since two of their girls were maimed in a saw attack has finished, but with steel fences between them and the girls, body searches, metal detectors, police guards and physical contact banned there have been complaints AKB48 otaku are now paying for the equivalent of a prison visit – perhaps appropriately enough, as soon after an AKB fan was arrested for a series of arson attacks in the middle of Akihabara.

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  • Anonymous commented on June 10, 2014 18:32

    Burn... More

  • Anonymous commented on June 9, 2014 13:16

    Police protection of this magnitude? If there's any doubt before that the yakuza owns a hefty part of AKB....... More


AKB48 Election Fraud: 1000 “Used” Votes for $10,000

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The latest general election drama to grip the nation sees an outraged AKB48 begging for a refund of the ¥950,000 he used to buy 1000 vote tickets which had already been used – having appropriately enough been described in the auction as “second-hand.”

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  • Anonymous commented on June 3, 2014 19:16

    Maybe because it is not about 'wanting a woman'. But I know that's probably hard to understand for dumb people.... More

  • Anonymous commented on June 3, 2014 19:14

    Maybe you can stop talking about what you don't even know, ans spread rumors ? The attacker was not an AKB48 fan, not even an idol fan. He just chose them because they are popular, to get... More


AKB48 Otaku Sues Sawer Over Lost Handshaking Event

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An enraged AKB48 fan is attempting to sue the maniac behind the saw rampage which has led to the next handshaking event being cancelled, demanding the cost of the 330 CDs he bought along with payment for the emotional distress of the cancellation.

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  • Anonymous commented on May 31, 2014 23:15

    Funny that people making these claims about sarcasm and japan when their animes, mangas, games, etc have sarcastic characters.... More

  • Indra EMC commented on May 31, 2014 11:01

    At least i NEVER buy those CD's or attend any "Handshake" event, because i can spend my money for better purpose than for "handshaking" with someone who doesn't give a Sh*t about me.... More


AKB48 Otaku’s “$200,000″ Election Budget

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Even as the aftermath of the saw attack on AKB48 continues, the Japanese media are still finding creepy otaku in the midst of preparations for the general election – the latest boasting that his election spend will come to 20,000,000 yen and showing off his house-filling and landfill-bound CD collection.

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  • Anonymous commented on May 31, 2014 22:01

    It's a code that you enter online. It's not a form.... More

  • Daniel Park commented on May 31, 2014 06:14

    I'm a proud lolicon :P... More


Cops Demand End To AKB48 Handshaking Events

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In the wake of two AKB48 girls being viciously sawed at one of their own handshaking events, police have told the group’s management they must improve security – starting by putting a stop to their infamous handshaking events, widely believed to be the only thing keeping the group on top of the charts…

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  • Anonymous commented on May 31, 2014 13:49

    Britain censors everything that is attractively cute. Cute must be sexless at all times. Christmas cake is too young. All naked women must be at least wrinkly.... More

  • Anonymous commented on May 31, 2014 07:42

    hahaha... ridiculous!!!... More


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