I wish… actually, I have been napping some lately, but not recently.

The next person remembers the last time he glued himself to his mattress.

A thermometre? Actually, false.

While we’re on the subject…
The next person gets clothing fabric stuck in their rectum periodically, and ends out ripping out some of their rectal hair when they remove the little strings of cloth. [color=F5F5F5]However, they find the feeling extremely satisfying![/color]

Don’t they go by “[url=http://eldr.eu]ELDR[/url]” now?

True; regardless.

The following poster has left a bag of vomit in the grocery store (among the produce) because his friend with him was on too many drugs and couldn’t make it to the water closet.

Well, that certainly could have used some proofreading! What is a ‘maifu’, anyway?

Nevertheless, good job–I enjoyed the short story!

Whenever I read something about islands, it reminds me of my waifu…

[IMAGE REMOVED]

Ayane: “Don’t you dare post another nude image of me, you scumbag!”

W-what could possibly give you that idea? Oh, it’s a question? False, of course! It’s not like I fancy anyone here or anything!

The next person is an anarchist at heart.

You mean, it takes [b]basket[/b]balls…

It’s well worth it, after all–elementary schoolers really are the best, aren’t they?

jamesownsall said:
I envy people who have the determination to color many of their artworks.

I, for some reason, need to take at least 3 hours to color full illustration regardless of method. This is why I often result to vector art, because if I'm gonna spend hours, then might as well spend it good and create Paths for every fucking thing and make it come out squeaky clean, at the cost of looking cartoony.

However, this weakness of mine also discourages me from coloring everytime I see the kids who create detailed color 'sketches' in under 40 minutes. FUCK ALL Y'ALL. lol

Colour is overrated. I mean, over in the U. S., ‘coloureds’ weren’t even allowed to use the same trains and buses as most citizens until the 60′s and 70′s. Back in my day, we’d have two frames and enjoy it!

Plus, it takes real skill to sketch ecchi lolis on cafeteria napkins with a mechanical pencil…

True–if you let me ride your bike for as long as I want!

The next person has jumped off of a bridge from at least 15 m into a public lake that had a sign saying 'no leaping'. [color=F5F5F5]The next person's best friend jumped off right after they did and fractured his spine, nearly paralysing him. [/color]

On the contrary, I would say that unless you are referring to my most recent post, several of my previous posts have been quite 'piss-rich'! I've tried to make my urine nice and acidic recently, giving it that perfectly aged, dark yellow colour.

Some have appreciated this more than others, but compared to them your standards must surely be higher than any I have experienced before!

After all, anything tastes good when you're parched!

Confession:

I will neither confirm nor deny whether I have ever used a 'bowl scooper' in a water closet or kept my urine in bottles, but apparently, according to you lot, the only thing I've posted worth reading was paraphrased from a thread on /jp/…

…until 'lannando' highlighted my other confession, which is pure ‘original content’!

Also, another confession:

I don't actually have a dakimakura, just a tube-shaped grey pillow about 1.5 m long that I place between my legs when I'm kneeling on the floor typing. I slashed a hole in the pillow and pulled out a lot of the stuffing, because I was having difficulty fantasising that it was actually my underaged, flat-chested waifu.

It’s “DFC”–Delicious Football Club!

(Or ‘delicious flat chest’).

Should I call you ‘ku-so-chi-ya-n’ instead of ‘ku-di-chi-ya-n’?

Scratch that, bad example–glad to amuse you, mate!

Confession:

Most females in my life seemed jealous of my ability to urinate upright, so I grew up feeling pressured to sit down as a child whenever I went to the water closet in their presence.

Later, I started to urinate in a 'bowl scooper' normally used to wash the buttocks. It was so satisfying to take a piss right in it; I didn't need to aim at all!

Once my business was finished, I would dump my yellow nectar into the sink without washing the scoop afterwards.

Unfortunately, one day, I messed up and my mum found a piss-filled scoop. For a while after that I sat down, even when going #1.

I can definitely see where the appeal of pissing into bottles comes from. It's great, right?

Peter Barton said:
I don't watch [s]soccer[/s] football.

Fixed that for you.

I’m not racist!

The next poster mixes breakfast cereals.

Tch… doesn't everyone want attention, mate? Remember whose assist won the league title last year?

I didn't think so…

But you DO remember whose assist helped Wigan draw with Stoke the other day!

My old man either smells like purified mineral water–or fresh feces in the mornin’, right before you flush the latrine!

The next person wonders how much liquid they would have to drink in order to overflow the water closet in their home with urine if they never flushed the toilet.

I pick my nose when I need to–if you really want to, go ahead and look, mate!

The following person has huffed a few too many bottles…

Well, I like you (and you, and you as well), regardless of the repercussions…

mascarpone said:

0_0… If that's what I think it is. I thinki'm gonna be sick. Excuse me.

Hey, I gotta’ do BOTH #1 and #2, and I only ask you to do #3! Fair enough, right?

LuciferOniichan said:
LOL I haven't seen someone dig himself into a hole since that hispanic kid that posted a pic of himself. At least this one we can understand what he's typing.

Maybe he’s one of my friends, ha ha! By the way, I can’t always understand what you blokes are typing–different strokes for different folks, eh?

Who's 'DCF'? Shall I call you 'Chii'?

It would be slightly more interesting if your posts were slightly more intelligible.

Nevertheless, that noxious scent of vulvar discomfort… it's almost as good as home-brewed butthash!

For some reason it's difficult for you lot to realise that by NOT counting a vote of someone who wishes to vote AGAINST a contestant they want to win, you are actually helping them… or that I'm obviously just messing around here.
[b]
Without offending anyone[/b], I'd like to say that in my opinion whoever takes this contest seriously is more of a joke than the 'tournament' itself–that much we can agree on!