I only wish it had been novel length ;_;
I would love it to be a novel length too!
This was never intended to be novel length. I suppose I could expand on it if I wished, but due to the time it takes to right a novel, I'd rather spend the time on a more serious work. Not to say that this hasn't been a lot of fun.
Though if you were going to go pro ever, you would need to be more descriptive.
I'm divided on this chapter. I liked the general idea, but too much of it was exposition; I assume you wanted to just get it over with, but explaining everything in detail at the very end is cheating. I trust that you'd fix that though if you were to go back and edit the entire thing.
Yes, of course. This is kind of equal to a first draft, so if I were to right a proper story, it'd be proof read and edited.
I had a lot of fun writing this and its certainly made me want to start writing properly again. It was also really fun writing about real people.
Thank you everyone for your kind comments. I don't want to come over all sappy, but this really does mean a lot as I hope to be a professional writer someday and to get a postive reponse like this from a silly story that is far from my best work is really encouraging.
Writing this has also made me realise what I've been missing when writing in the past... an audience.
If any of you would like to read any of my more serious stuff in the future either PM me your email address or facebook link (since I don't want to publish stuff online due to copyright issues.) I'm not making the presumption that you'd want to read my stuff, this is more for me so I have an audience and proof readers. If you do this you don't have to do really long constructive reviews a "hey, this is good. Keep it up" is fine.