Does ppl in 2ch type like that? Just wondering. But aint that too formal for a private PM? I mean srsly, does modern younger generations Japs still type like this?
I dont know if I can compare this to JMMO's but they dont really type that formal in PM, even if its the first time I met them.
No, they don't write like that in 2ch, but that is because it is an anonymous board. You don't write emails the same way you write in 4chan's /d/, or do you?
The point here is to consider your position. You are absolutely nobody from the artist's point of view. You want him to make you a drawing, and you're not offering anything in return. In fact, he can easily consider he's wasting his time by reading your email.
You are at a very disadvantageous position, and therefore anything less than the most polite words will get a swift delete from his inbox. You -might- want to try the "I know so little japanese, it is actually funny", and try to get his attention that way, but I wouldn't count on it.
If you were a fellow artist, you both have each other as friends in pixiv, and your art is obviously similar, or even superior in level to his, -then- you may tone it down a little bit and use more relaxed language.
Next time I will show you how a real schoolgirl writes.
Now, let's have some fun over here...
こんにちは is not polite, nor appropriate for the situation. If this is the first time you are contacting the person, you should start with 初めまして or お世話になっております, or something similar
と言います is never polite. Always use と申します
ただ I suppose you're translating "I just"? This is grammatically incorrect. If you want to use ただ, use 私はただのあなたのファン or something similar
あなた NEVER call someone like this, especially if it is the first time. Always use 〇〇様, or even 〇〇さん if you're feeling informal
伝えたかったのです sure, you "wanted to", but this is completely meaningless without a context. You use such a form, for example like so: いきなりメールを送って申し訳ございません。貴方の才能に憧れていると伝えたかったのです。
気に入っています you "are liking?" maybe you meant 気に入ります, or とても気に入りです
^.^ do not. Please do not use kaomoji on your first contact with somebody else. It has nothing to do with age, you're simply being condescending.
出来れば classic translation of "if you can", but written like this, it means "if I can", which makes no sense at all. It doesn't work like this. Use もしよろしければ, もし良かったら or something similar.
私の為に another classic translation of "for me". If you're asking for a favor, use 描いていただけますでしょうか
頂けたらなぁ mixing written and spoken forms. Really classy, but grammatically incorrect.
期待していたところです you were expecting him to draw something for you? Are you trying to tell him that he didn't live up to your expectations?
And no thanks at the end?
Also you're missing the entire point of japanese composition and structure. Always write in 起承転結 form. Start by opening (起) by explaining who you are, what is your relationship with the other person, and why are you here. Then develop your point (承) by explaining what brought you today to write, and foreshadowing your request. After that, make the twist (転) and make your request. Finally, close (結) by thanking for the other person's attention.
First of all don't fail to keep your word above, motherfucker.
(Added the above quote for clarity) Finally, never, ever forget to be nice with the rest of the people on this forum. We're all here to learn, and your attitude is not welcome in here.
Have a nice day.