Sankaku Complex Forums » General

1. 

   Rick
   

   I'm a straight male. The girl I hang out with is theoretically bi, but possibly trending toward exclusively lesbian. She periodically demands that I avoid hugging her and keep my emotional distance because she doesn't want to allow even a tiny hint of hope for romance. (On the bright side, she's a great person to spend time with.)

   This woman and I have similar problems. We both turn down offers of romance from people who don't meet our standards.

   In her case, she's obviously attractive. A lot of people (myself included) want to have sex with her. She has high standards and turns them all down, then complains about a lack of sex.

   In my case, I'm an eligible bachelor. A lot of families would like to see their daughters married off and living from my money, not from theirs. (Since I live in Asia, the topic often gets raised by the parents before the girl.) Since these girls are not amazingly beautiful, I tend to slow down and notice things like, "I have nothing in common with these girls," and "I would have to work myself into an early grave trying to support another person," and "If we get divorced, for whatever reason, she would be able to take the little money that I do have."

   Then there are women, some of whom are known to be promiscuous, who ask me questions such as "What's your wildest sexual fantasy?" before they ask things like, "What's your name?" That triggers my slut-avoidance standard. I'm not a virgin, but I'm not a manwhore.

   I think most people would say that anyone who turns down dates (or offers of complication-free sex) has no right to complain of loneliness. I don't think those people can justify their "should," I just think people like telling other people to stop complaining.

   Posted 5 years ago # Quote
2. 

   King Tiger
   

   here's what i think:

   ALL THE POLL OPTIONS SUCK!

   Posted 5 years ago # Quote
3. 

   Dollars
   

   The problem is that most people who are ronrey tend to miss good things that come to them and then dwell on all the crazy, one-in-a-million things that don't happen to them.

   While I'm not calling you a moron for telling off every girl who wants anything to do with you, I don't really have any sympathy for people who cry about being lonely that don't do anything to better their situation and/or refuse to act upon things that come to them.

   Posted 5 years ago # Quote
4. 

   Ambiguous
   

   The girl you hang out with sounds insecure, OP.

   Anyway, I agree with the below (or above..).

   dollars said:
   The problem is that most people who are ronrey tend to miss good things that come to them and then dwell on all the crazy, one-in-a-million things that don't happen to them.

   While I'm not calling you a moron for telling off every girl who wants anything to do with you, I don't really have any sympathy for people who cry about being lonely that don't do anything to better their situation and/or refuse to act upon things that come to them.

   Posted 5 years ago # Quote
5. 

   Nin
   

   So when you have the opportunity to go out with a girl but you don't take it, you can't complain about being lonely? No matter how I view it, the situation looks to be like this:

   No girl wants to be with you = lonely
   No girl who meets your standards wants to be with you = lonely

   The alternative is going out with a girl who you don't really want to be with and you'll end up complaining for wholly different reasons.

   Posted 5 years ago # Quote
6. 

   cheese_cake
   

   what?

   well, i've turned down some before. & i'm prepared to be "ronery" in doing so. sometimes it's a personal choice. & sometimes it's cuz ur really only interested in a certain some1 who's not interested in u.

   Posted 5 years ago # Quote
7. 

   jamesownsall
   

   Under normal circumstances, yes, I think no one has the right to complain about being lonely if they always turn down dates. I can't speak much for the otakus I see online, but the ones I do know in real life have all displayed too high taste. Many of them don't even have what it takes to match their tastes(be it in looks, attitude or plain old Jewgold), which is ironic and plain arrogant.

   I mean, if someone really pretty just loves you for what you are, that's OK, but we're talking about people who expect to build a relationship and an increased feeling of love from their targets based on a mostly one-way contribution(that being from the ones they seek). I wish I can tell them that relationships don't work that way; No man or woman has a complete package. There will always be something that sticks out like a sore thumb, and believe me, it has less to do with looks but rather attitude and personality. I've been there.

   However, let's not forget those who are just clinically depressed, which in turn may also get extreme feeling of loneliness as part of their.... 'sickness' for the lack of a better word. For all I know, sometimes these people can't be saved even with all the counselling sessions and thousand of pills in the world. These are the only group of people I truly sympathize.

   Google 'loneliness clinical depression' and find all the relevant articles you may be interested with, but you have to have some cash to look at some of them though.

   Posted 5 years ago # Quote
8. 

   Palmtop Tsundere
   

   Beggars can't be choosers.

   Posted 5 years ago # Quote
9. 

   Vicious
   

   palmtop-tiger said:
   Beggars can be choosers.

   fix'd

   Posted 5 years ago # Quote
10. 

    stillcode
    

    I feel sorry for the guys who did what their parents and society told them to do. That is, study hard to get into a good college to get a good career then work your butt off to be able to support a family. Some of those guys go through life having only been in perhaps 1 or 2 relationships and then when they are in their early thirties the only girls who ask them for dates are women who are divorced or their credit is really screwed up or they're looking for a father figure for their children they had with another man.

    In that above case, if a man turns down that kind of woman, being lonely and complaining about the lack of eligible women is justifiable.

    Posted 5 years ago # Quote
11. 

    Unknown
    

    stillcode said:
    I feel sorry for the guys who did what their parents and society told them to do. That is, study hard to get into a good college to get a good career then work your butt off to be able to support a family. Some of those guys go through life having only been in perhaps 1 or 2 relationships and then when they are in their early thirties the only girls who ask them for dates are women who are divorced or their credit is really screwed up or they're looking for a father figure for their children they had with another man.

    In that above case, if a man turns down that kind of woman, being lonely and complaining about the lack of eligible women is justifiable.

    Guys are not the only ones that turn down dates though.

    Posted 5 years ago # Quote
12. 

    Rick
    

    stillcode said:
    In that above case, if a man turns down that kind of woman, being lonely and complaining about the lack of eligible women is justifiable.

    Unknown said:
    Guys are not the only ones that turn down dates though.

    I guess I'm pretty close to the first case and my female friend is the second case.

    In the first case, I made decisions because I expected patriarchal marriage to work - and patriarchal marriage failed.

    In the second case, my friend made decisions because she expected feminism to work - and feminism failed.

    There are a lot of guys in my position who go for the man-whore option - they have sex with as many women as possible, and rapidly get to 100 sex partners without ever getting close to marriage. Those guys aren't loyal to anything or anyone.

    I don't think the people who have lots of hook-up sex are going to end up happily. STDs are common, smart people don't have kids, and we don't have enough robots to run society for the benefit of stupid people who have lots of sex partners.

    I don't see any way for modern society to correct this situation without crashing and collapsing.

    Posted 5 years ago # Quote
13. 

    spoon
    

    why would it not be in their rights to complain? sure the ones who complain and whine excessively are annoying bastards, but i see no real reason why they are required to justify their complaints in the first place.

    reality is not nice, everyone wants something. that something may be ridiculous or inconsiderate in the eyes of a less fortunate individual but its importance will only be relevant to you, so what its worth is to another is irrelevant.

    Posted 5 years ago # Quote
14. 

    brningpyre
    

    Vicious said:

    palmtop-tiger said:
    Beggars can't be choosers.

    fix'd

    In before "welfare state".

    Posted 5 years ago # Quote
15. 

    spoon
    

    there is nothing really wrong about complaining. it is other people (society) that tell you it's wrong to complain. why should you care about those noobs (LOL!).

    i'll keep on complaining until i have everything - (LOL!).

    >forgive me Gantz, i was trying to replicate you but i jus couldn't.

    gotta stop procrastinating.

    Posted 5 years ago # Quote
16. 

    brningpyre
    

    soupz said:
    there is nothing really wrong about complaining. it is other people (society) that tell you it's wrong to complain. why should you care about those noobs (LOL!).

    i'll keep on complaining until i have everything - (LOL!).

    This is why we can't have nice things.

    Posted 5 years ago # Quote
17. 

    maid
    

    I don't think anyone who complains of severe loneliness would turn down a date, so I'd say my answer is

    If you say you turn down dates, and you say you're lonely, you're likely lying about one (or both).

    Posted 5 years ago # Quote
18. 

    Krauser
    

    So long as you draw air into your lungs you can complain about any damned thing you like. some will tolerate your words and sympathize, others will tell you to tell someone who gives a fuck. in the end, it's all pointless as it's your problem and yours alone.

    "What can i say,
    I have no shame,
    I can't complain,
    But i will anyway"

    Posted 5 years ago # Quote
19. 

    Rick
    

    maid said:

    If you say you turn down dates, and you say you're lonely, you're likely lying about one (or both).

    In the case of my female friend, she turns down boys and fails to chase girls, then complains of sexlessness, not loneliness. She has a fair number of friends and a social life.

    I turn down proposals of marriage to girls I barely know. Technically speaking I haven't been offered a date, but Asian culture expects the man to be aggressive and to invite girls out. So I've been letting opportunities to date girls slip by.

    So, okay, I'm not entirely socially isolated, I'm out in society and doing a crappy job of integrating myself into the dating scene. "Ronery" is more a label for folks who live like the "nuns" in Princess Jellyfish.

    Posted 5 years ago # Quote
20. 

    Misakite
    

    If all the dates you turned down were from ugly girls/bitches/ugly bitches, I think you're still allowed to call yourself ronery.

    Posted 5 years ago # Quote

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