Zero no Tsukaima F has received one of the many inevitable service-centric episodes fans have come to expect, with Louise, Henrietta and the male all busy groping one another.

The two main heroines of Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai have recieved some of their first figures, by Media Factory and both due in late June 2012.

Yozora and Sena can be pre-ordered now.

To Love-Ru Darkness has been delighting fans with the usual fetishistic staples of tentacles, nymphs, and the return of the mysterious colourist everyone so adores.

Colourful scenes:

Gratuitously sexy omake:

Naruko Anjo, aka Anal, appears fetchingly clad in a dress for one of Kotobukiya’s latest figures,  awaiting her summer release in June 2012.

Naruko can be pre-ordered now.

None other than scandal seiyuu Aya Hirano herself has been unseated from her position as most followed seiyuu, with even her fascinating antics not enough to spare her the humiliation of being overtaken by the actor behind one of her on-screen peons.

The ranking:

1. Tomokazu Sugita – 285,516

2. Aya Hirano – 272,915

3. Yuichi Nakamura – 211,070

4. Yukari Tamura – 180,873

5. Eri Kitamura – 138,855

6. Rie Tanaka – 126,080

7. Yūki Kaji – 112,965

8. Akio Ōtsuka – 110,815

9. Marina Inoue – 108,001

10. Ayana Taketatsu – 96,682

There is some wonderment at Hirano’s loss (although she still has enough followers to populate a small if terrifying city), as well as the fact that Taketatsu only started her account at the end of November:

“Debuynan is doing so well after starting so late!”

“Is Sugita that interesting?”

“He picks fights with all kinds of people!”

“Number 4 isn’t following any other seiyuu – doesn’t she have any seiyuu chums?”

“The life-liners outnumber our SDF soldiers…”

Those looking for the executive digest of Hirano’s antics might do well to follow Sankaku Complex on Twitter.

Living up to its name, the 2012 Winter WonFes delivers many figure wonders to the attending hordes of otaku statue fanciers – not least a vast array of magical puellae and scores of fine figures from the latest series.

Budding fans of the Vita’s upcoming real-time fairy dating game Ciel nosurge have been aghast to learn that the game is episodic and will take over a year to finish and cost 2-3 times the price of a normal title.

According to calculations made by a concerned “game shop employee,” the game may be the most expensive yet for the Vita:

It’s actually quite a bit different to how most games are sold.

The game has 13 “episodes” and a further 3 extra episodes, only the first of which is included with the game itself.

Each episode is going to be released monthly, and they will cost ¥500 each.

So to finish it will cost ¥5040 + (15 x ¥500) = ¥13,040 [about $170]

I’m a bit concerned about how many people will be able to keep playing a game like this for over a year without losing interest along the way…

Never has so much enthusiasm evaporated so quickly:

“So this is the Vita’s killer app!”

“Who’ll be playing this in a year!”

“After a year they will just be releasing the complete edition, count on it.”

“So they are selling an incomplete game and charging as you go.”

“Won’t people finish each episode in a few days?”

“It’s a real time game so there’s only so much you can do over a given period.”

“The retailers will really suffer if they keep playing this stuff for a year.”

“This is like Bandai…”

“It would be better at 1,000 each episode and the main game free.”

“Nobody even knows what kind of game it is.”

“It’s just a normal galge ADV.”

“The Vita itself might not be around in a year!”

“I’ll still give it a try!”

“Expect there to be tons of DLC too.”

“This is shocking, if true. I’ll cancel my order unless it really has the volume going for it.”

“If the DLC is scenario rather than just costumes it could work out well.”

“I’d spend that much on an limited edition set, but I’m concerned about losing interest in the instalments.”

“Gust DLC is normally pretty nice, although this looks like it might be different. I hope they get the balance between moe and serious story right.”

“Half of the games on the Vita have DLC which costs more in total than the game.”

“It doesn’t sound like you’ll get the whole experience without playing in realtime either, so you end up having to follow it on the boards and play it like an MMO…”

“I’m just wondering if there is sufficient volume in the  initial package?”

“She dresses loose from the start, imagine what she’ll be wearing in 16 episodes guys!”

The game is available for pre-order now.

Pornomonogatari fans have been lamenting the lack of naked massage action in the 6th episode of Nisemonogatari, but even those rare maniacs who concern themselves with story have been complaining that things are barely moving – although everyone can at least appreciate the strange poses and excessively cute characters on display:

Taiwanese police are said to be livid at the fact top ero-cosplayer Ushijima Iiniku has been bold enough to flash her pantsu in a photo of one of their cars, and said to be considering legal action.

Taiwanese media reports that Taipei police are furious at the picture, which shows her gamely baring her pantsu whilst peering into one of their patrol cars, and are concerned it will damage their image.

They have demanded the site which originally hosted the image delete it, and are apparently considering whether they can get away with further legal measures against her.

It is not clear whether Ushijima is still in Taiwan or whether they really have much of a case, but doubtless she will be considering a discrete exit if she still remains.

In response to all this, some cosplay fans have even begun whining that Ushijima and company are “not cosplayers” and should not appear amongst cosplayers at fan event as their ero-cosplay antics merely constitute “doujin porn” and only make life difficult for those who wish to play dress up more modestly.

Meanwhile everyone else is still busily enjoying the fallout from her original Fancy Frontier appearance:

The predator rat herself is none too apologetic about the scandal – she asserts she put on a skirt at the event as soon as staff scolded her, and kept it on for the rest of the event, and says she hopes for a world in which girls can walk the streets freely in even more saucy attire without being harangued by moralistic busybodies.

Police have busted a naked policeman found tied up on stage in a BDSM sex club, charging him with public indecency – apparently on the grounds that the club was not a properly lisensed brothel.

The incident occurred in Sapporo when a 28-year-old head warden at a local police station paid a visit to a BDSM club named “Club Patio,” situated in the centre of town.

He took to the stage, took off his clothes, and was bound in place with a red rope by a female member of staff, when police suddenly raided the premises.

The officer was subsequently taken into custody at 1:25AM on charges of public indecency.

He admits the charges, saying “there was no doubt that I was naked at the time,” although at the time of his arrest he was apparently not forthcoming about the fact he was a police officer as well.

Police say there were “about 15″ male and female patrons at the establishment watching his on-stage antics when they arrested him.

Police explained their own presence at the club by saying that they were investigating the club for providing sexual services when they only had a late-night restaurant license (brothels and sex clubs normally have to pay to “register” with police if they wish to remain unmolested).

The rather lurid details of the incident and the pathetic way in which Japanese police shake down brothels by “licensing” them has provoked much comment online:

“I can’t believe this made the national news!”

“If he is M then he is only going to enjoy being arrested.”

“Ruining his dignity as a policeman is the ultimate reward for this guy.”

“He wasn’t actually naked though – he was tied up.”

“That’s what the place is for. Let them be already.”

“Wouldn’t they normally cover up his name in the reporting?”

“He probably wanted it this way.”

“How is nudity in a private SM club ‘public indecency’ in any case?”

“If this is illegal public indecency then every bathhouse in the country is illegal.”

“I wish they’d leave these people to their harmless fetishes…”

“Don’t they have anything better to investigate? They should overlook this sort of thing, it’s completely harmless.”

“If the patrons were in an establishment they believed to be a sex club, how can you arrest them for being naked?”

“Arresting patrons for being in a joint which was improperly licensed is low. How would they know what kind of license it ought to have?”

“No victims arise from customers paying to engage in consensual sex play. If they are adults and consent, the authorities should not be interfering whether it is gay sex or BDSM sex or whatever…”

“They have really been abusing the definition of public indecency lately, haven’t they?”

“How do they call being naked in a room indoors in a private club an act of gross public indecency…”

“You can’t even get naked at an SM club. Being a pervert sure is harsh.”

“Arresting people for being naked at an SM club is kind of crooked thinking.”

“So this would have been legal if the club was properly licensed as a sex club!?”

“There was really no need to release his name for something like this. There are so many other dodgy coppers whose names they never release, after all.”

“What’ll his family think of him now…”

“For a true masochist all this is probably heaven.”

“When I see news like this, I am reminded why I am glad to be S and not M.”

The supposed popularity of K-ON! amongst actual schoolgirls is once again the subject of incredulity and wonderment amongst fans, with TV introducing a group of high school girls who joined their school keion-bu and started a band for good measure – all thanks to K-ON!.

Creepy otaku fans are delighted, if sceptical:

“Nice!”

“How heart-warming…”

“That wasn’t too harsh, at least.”

“Is there really a boom though?”

“Wait… Band boom amongst schoolgirls caused by K-ON! and full seats at the movie – but all the seats are occupied by men!?”

“It looks too bright for them to be actually watching anything in any case?”

“Still, focussing on girls is a nice way to cover anime.”

“You lot are their only customers though! I guess they must have a few girls watching though.”

2ch has taken the unusual step of fighting back against the wicked Korean fifth column it believes is behind most of the ills of Japanese society by producing some English language propaganda of its own, targeted at American anime fans.

The document was mailed to at least one North American university anime club, and identifies itself as the handiwork of the Vippers – denizens of 2ch’s “VIP” board, which is known even on 2ch for its eccentric and activist character.

Aside from being a surprisingly thorough outline of some of the less crazed claims which 2ch endlessly fulminates over (and which were largely responsible for a series of large-scale anti-Fuji TV demonstrations in 2011), the document is presented in unusually good English (for 2ch at least) and appears to have been quite carefully prepared.

The veracity of the claims made is another matter – they range from the usual xenophobic delusions of foreign infiltration beloved of the Internet right, to some rather more well-founded concerns about the supposed efforts of Korean nationalists to stealthily advance their national interests in Japan and beyond, and the distressingly obvious lack of reliable politicians and media Japan is afflicted by.

Whatever the truth behind their claims, they do at least give English speakers a great deal of insight into the thinking current across much of the Japanese Internet.

The letter and accompanying materials:

Top producer of unplayably buggy and endlessly delayed eroge Overflow has announced that “Shiny Days” will be its “final” work and that it is “not going bankrupt or anything like that!” – and, surprise of surprises, its release will be delayed 2 months as well.

As might be expected from Overflow, there is total confusion following their admission on a live Nico broadcast that upcoming title “Shiny Days” will be their last title ever (and that it will be delayed until April):

“They are going bankrupt and Shiny Days will be their last game, they say. Unless it sells really well they have no chance to survive. They say they need to sell 20,000 copies. Buy it guys!”

“Endless delays and now a ‘final’ game?”

“Isn’t this just a marketing scam? This company will say anything for sales.”

“Finally. These fools have been mocking their customers with the buggy trash they put out for years.”

“I saw the announcement, they seem half-hearted about starting a new brand so this is going to be complete dissolution.”

“Their CEO looked pretty gutted.”

“There aren’t 20,000 people who like Kokoro-chan enough to order this, are there?”

“So they are saying they need ¥200,000,000!?”

“If it is a bankruptcy, why are they still able to release it?”

“Their creditors financed it based on projected sales. If it sells OK they can pay them back, but there will be nothing left to run the company.”

“They have been saying this sort of vague and ambiguous stuff on their official Twitter account:

‘This is not a bankruptcy or anything like that. This is our last work. We will continue to provide support for it.’”

“So they aren’t going bankrupt? What the hell is going on?”

“Perhaps they are continuing the company but withdrawing from the eroge market?”

“If they don’t make enough they’ll withdraw, that’s probably it.”

“Don’t they mean they’ll withdraw irrespective of how well it sells?”

Moeblob fans have been marvelling at the increasingly steamy scenes on show in the K-ON! manga, and not least the undeniable revelation that Ritsu, like Yui and the enormous Mugi, seems to have been doing some growing…

The possibilities inherent in “100 mugi” (Manga Time Kirara has made it to 100 issues, no doubt in large part thanks to the influence of K-ON!) have also been attracting attention:

Tired of ranking only the best, anime fans have turned their attention to identifying the most boring (or merely disappointing) anime of the winter 2012 season.

The ranking:

1. Kill Me Baby

2. Tantei Opera Milky Holmes

3. Senki Zesshō Symphogear

4. Bodacious Space Pirates

5. Nisemonogatari

6. Danball Senki

7. Gokujyo

8. There isn’t one!

9. Waiting in the Summer

10. Zero no Tsukaima F

A technically inclined onanist has apparently developed a piece of software designed to exploit the notoriously advanced capabilities of the USB Onacon, capable of not only measuring speed, insertion time and other vital onanistic statistics, but even of uploading the results to Twitter so fellow onanists can compare their performance…

The exchange:

“My onahole arrived so I made some software to count time, insertions, average speed and other data.”

“Amazing.”

“Strange. You must be a pro.”

“Onacounter…”

“You are an idiot.”

“What is the use of this?”

“It’s like this when you use it. Below is a graph of insertions and speed.”

“I want it.”

“The perfect app for the health-conscious man! Available now!”

“Give it to the manufacturers…”

“I think this is amazing… amazingly retarded.”

“Release it!”

“This is a boon to society – use it to measure early ejaculation and you could measure the effectiveness of new drugs.”

“If you really uploaded your data to Google it might be rather dicey…”

“Use it already.”

“I already used it. It took some time. In keeping with the spirit of the age, I made it compatible with Twitter and Mixi.”

“Oi!”

“Stop that!”

“Why is it showing a speed of 4 even when you have finished?”

“That’s recorded when you press the ‘ejaculate’ button on the USB Onacon.”

“What is the hash tag?”

“#ONACOUNTER

I uploaded the software here. [Use at your own risk!]

Of course you need the Onacon to use it. If you have one, let’s tweet about it together.”

“You’re the biggest fool I’ve ever seen (I mean this as praise).”

“The social buttons…”

“What a high-tech hentai!”

“What did you code it in? VB?”

“A minor language – HSP.”

“Japanese really are living in the future.”

“I thought after I unveiled the hash tag and software it would be overflowing with results, but it seems I’m the only one there! Give it a try if you get one, please.”

The Onacon is available now, together with the newly Onacon-enabled 3D Custom Girl.

Mirai Nikki’s 2nd BD has been attracting a great deal of attention for its (quite literally) eye-popping scenes of sexual depravity and grotesque tortures.

London’s newly won position on the K-ON! “seichi” pilgrimage circuit appears to be well in hand – fans of the K-ON! movie are already hunting through its frigid and grimy recesses to find the various locations fictionally graced by their moeblob icons.

This otaku’s pilgrimage includes such fascinating essentials as “the side of their hotel,” “Mio’s bus stop” and of course “Ricchan’s gravestone”:

The rise of the anime pilgrimage package tour seems only to be a matter of time.

The element most anime fans are looking for in the anime they watch may come as a surprise to some, considering its near total absence from so many popular late-night anime titles…

The ranking, of “elements you stress in the anime you watch”:

1. Story

2. Character

3. Seiyuu

4. Art style

5. Music

6. Art quality

7. Performance

8. Gags

9. Visuals

10. Moe

An elementary school teacher who raped 5 of his pupils aged from 8 to 12 a total of 37 times faces a possible 30 year prison sentence.

The 32-year-old Kyoto prefecture elementary school teacher forced himself on his charges at two schools over a 2 year period, the court heard.

At his first school, he raped or indecently assaulted 4 of the little girls in his class a total of 14 times over a period of 11 months, either at school or their homes.

He then transferred to another elementary school in the same prefecture, where over an 8 month period he raped or assaulted another one of the girls in his class 23 times, again either at her home or at the school.

The prosecution maintains his attacks were the result of him abusing his authority over the girls  to pressure them into sex – he told the girls he “would be angry at them” if they did not comply with his wishes, and one of his victims testified that “I thought I could put up with it to spare my mother from being upset.”

He was accused of untoward behaviour at his first school, but as he “strongly denied doing anything” it appears they did nothing and did not bother telling anything to the next school he worked at, allowing him to continue his extracurricular activities in his new job.

The local educational authorities merely claim “we weren’t aware of it until it became an incident.” Parents have criticised them for not investigating him at all.

The “incident” only came to light when one of his victims finally made a complaint about him touching her and police became involved and launched an investigation.

The prosecution is seeking the maximum possible sentence of 30 years, saying he “deftly planned to abuse his position as teacher in order to perpetrate his base and vicious crimes, and inflicted immeasurable physical and psychological harm on his victims.”

The defence is pleading for leniency, saying that he deeply regrets raping all the girls and that he will be unlikely to re-offend as he promises to undertake counselling and medication upon his release.

Sentencing is due on the 9th of March.

Online there is considerable outrage at the apparent leniency of the sentence, as well as the usual wonderment at the sort of things Japanese teachers can get away with:

“This is Japan…”

“That sentence wouldn’t even be one year per count…”

“It is utterly sickening to think of him touching all those girls, let along raping them like he did. It should be cut off, without anaesthesia!”

“Castrate him!”

“You’d expect the parents to kill him for something like this.”

“It’s always possible they agreed to it. He did do it at their homes, even if they didn’t know they must have had domestic issues for that to happen.”

“Honestly, you’d expect to get busted from these kids letting things slip to their friends. And if this teacher was married his family is ruined, and even his own children would loathe him. He had so much to lose…”

“I can’t even believe this story. Why didn’t they sack him after one or two came to light? They let him do it dozens of times, it’s unbelievable.”

“Life sentences are best for the scumbag teachers who do this stuff…”

“30 years of free food, I must be missing something?”

“小五 + ロリ = 悟り” ["year 5 elementary school" + "loli" = "satori" (enlightment)]

“37 times, and he probably did more as well. I guess he can die a happy man.”

“I am having trouble imagining the scope of his crimes, can someone suggest a suitable manga to explain things?”

“Actually doing it with elementary schoolers is just… Well, I suppose from his perspective he has no regrets.”

“I thought this stuff was limited to ero-manga, but some people actually do it…”

“To do it with 5 girls, what a winner. And 37 times, he’d not regret it even if he got the death penalty. So, it’s OK to execute him!”

“Lolicon, just kill yourselves already!”

“This is being reported as rape and indecent assault, but it seems more likely they consented. The merest hint of a rape accusation from one of those children would have brought it all down on him. The sources don’t describe any use of force at all. I don’t think child rapists should be treated leniently, but if he did have their consent that should be taken into account.”

“It doesn’t matter whether they consented or not. Children that age cannot legally consent. So it is always rape. Now go to sleep.”

“He must be Korean!”

“Unfortunattely, he can’t be a Korean – one of the characters used in his surname is in old-form, and you aren’t allowed to use those any more when naturalising.”

“Korean deception! There are Koreans with that surname.”

“Our sentences are too lenient! We should be more like America and combine them all up into one huge sentence!”

“I don’t see why he should get a sentence longer that he would have for killing someone though?”

“People just get more emotional with rape than they do with murder. It makes no sense at all, but there you are.”

“Honestly, teachers are all either lolicon or lolicon-in-training aren’t they?”

“What kind of person wants to become a teacher? You can imagine anyone who does probably has something wrong with them, especially ones who study education at university. Imagine wanting to become a teacher at the age of 18, gross.”

“I cannot comprehend how a school board would overlook what happened at his first school. Why do they exist? To defend teachers from prosecution and hide things from the media?”

“Because they are full of scum who are all about protecting their promotion prospects by avoiding any sort of police involvement. It’s always better to report these matters to police and not to the school.”

“The schools conceal their pupils being bullied, the crimes of their teachers – they sure are good at it!”

“The principals have to suppress these incidents for their own sakes if nothing else.”

“I can’t help but think all these teachers have committed similar crimes in the past and are protecting their own.”

“They are all senior teachers from the Shouwa period when teachers could get away with anything.”

“This was all a typo, it was 300 years, right?”

The long quiescence of Strike Witches is almost at an end – the trailer to the imminent movie has finally been released.

The video:

The movie opens March 17th, although how long it will take to reach Blu-ray as yet unclear, let alone in the barbarian nations.

A small child has reportedly fallen victim to China-quality coinage, with the currency exploding in his hands for reasons unknown.

The exploding money was encountered by a 3-year-old boy in China’s Fujian province, when it blew up in his hands.

According to his mother, he had just learned how to pay for the small rides at local shops, and she had given him a 1 yuan coin for this purpose.

No sooner had she taken her eyes off him as he went to play on the rides than she heard a loud bang and a scream, and came running over to find the boy surrounded by smoke and the remains of the coin on the floor.

The boy escaped with minor burns to his hand.

Similar incidents involving small children, exploding currency and electric vehicles were reported in 2007 and 2008, leading some to speculate that some combination of electrical mishap and dubious coinage may have been at fault.

Online there is some glee at this latest entry to China’s explosive hall of fame:

“Explosive inflation!”

“The bubble is finally bursting!”

“What sort of monetary policy do you call this?”

“What the hell is going on in China…”

“Who could have imagined this?”

“Next up, exploding notes. China, you can do it!”

“How can a lump of iron or nickel explode like this?”

“Fake coins and explosive ingredients… what a country.”

“This is China’s version of a financial big bang.”

“You can only look forward to hearing what will explode next, can’t you?”

Top cosplay porno purveyors TMA have released a “BL” cosplay parody AV (i.e. a title featuring only men having sex with other men) for the fujoshi demographic – although whether this notoriously discriminating demographic will accept mere 3D men sodomising each other is another matter.

The video is due for release on the 24th of February – availability and a sample can be confirmed on their site.

Hatsune Miku fans are rejoicing at the sight of the world’s first ita-airport, in the form of Miku’s descent upon Hokkaido’s New Chitose Airport – including a full-size Miku statue which has otaku reaching for either their wallets or their cameras…

The life-sized model in particular has attracted more than a little attention from Miku fans:

“When you’ve put your arm around Miku’s waist, you can die with no regrets.”

“Don’t touch Miku so freely!”

“I’m a bit concerned 1:1 Miku will be kidnapped.”

“What about her pantsu!”

“She’s even cuter than I thought she would be.”

“If that statue ever gets auctioned off, expect it to reach 6 or even 7 figures…”

“So this is the rumoured 1:1 model! You just know someone is going to check what’s up her skirts!”

“I see MelonKuma… even for an animal suit, that thing is scary.”

“Come to my house, full-size Miku-san!”

“For Miku lovers this is a total Miku-Matsuri isn’t it?”

“I went there – even the staff at the arcade were dressed as Miku.”

“Last year it was an ita-station, so this year it’s an ita-airport? Hokkaido is trying too hard!”

TV soon picked up on the event:

“I want to be like Miku!”