Cops Hunt Old Man For Nearly Being Hit By JC


The latest outrage against the nation’s schoolgirls comes in the form of schoolgirl cyclist who almost hit an old man in the dark, only for him to commit verbal battery on her by insisting she put on her lights, with Osaka police issuing one of their famous advisories in an effort the bring the felon to justice.

Osaka police report that middle school girl on a bicycle “almost crashed into” a man on a scooter at 19:00 on the streets of Sakai city.

The man was upset at her riding without any lights, and followed her warning her “What the hell are you thinking!? Put some lights on, you want to get yourself run over?”

The perpetrator of this attack is said to have been in his sixties and wore a blackish jumper and helmet of indeterminate colour, and was mounted on a large silver scooter.

Police are urging the public to call in any sightings of the suspect.

As is so often the case with these advisories, there is much concern online:

“Put on your lights.”

“Wait, isn’t the girl at fault here for not having any lights on in the dark?”

“An unusually kind old man.”

“A little rude but his heart is in the right place.”

“This is just how they greet one another over there.”

“This is what the girl claims he said to her. She could just be making it up.”

“They are both idiots…”

“Arrest them both, the man for intimidation and the girl for traffic infringement.”

“You would be pretty pissed too if someone almost involved you in an accident because they had no lights.”

“And the JC with no lights was not arrested for a clear traffic violation?”

“Nice how she gets to completely ignore the issue of the lights and play the victim in all this.”

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    Avatar of EleutheroZeroONE
    Comment by EleutheroZeroONE
    11:59 18/01/2014 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    I don't get it! She committed an infraction and he's the victim. Why are the police after him!?

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:03 18/01/2014 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Think of the JKs!

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:55 18/01/2014 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Careful, soon that'll be a crime too.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:03 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    you must be new here

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:08 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Only in Osaka

    Comment by Anonymous

    This shit is totally fake, the fact that some of you actually believe it means that you've finally been brainwashed by SC's nonsense.

    These dick-brains better start upping some sources~

    Avatar of DrZaius
    Comment by DrZaius
    01:53 19/01/2014 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Or you could take two seconds to follow the link to the police website that lists it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:58 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    You idiots both need to join those skirt-chasing cops. One for 1st hand proof & the other to see just how fucking ridiculous it is.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:25 26/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    The report that the "source" site links to 404s. Your move.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:27 18/01/2014 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Wacky Japanese, what will they come up with next? "Police gun down little old man for allowing a JK to help him walk across a street."

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:19 18/01/2014 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Past years prove Japan can be very forgiving to kids, unless they actually do kill someone. Other than that, actual victims are criminals and vice versa.
    Beautiful place to live in, but their law is becoming a joke. Much like Australia,but a bit more hilarious.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:09 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    At least in Japan you just gotta watch out for the kids, but in Australia you gotta watch out for every poisonous insect/reptile on earth which can be in your house without realizing it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:56 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Fuck kids, beat them down.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:56 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Forgiving to kids even if they killed someone, you mean. Japanese juvenile protection law.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:54 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    More like:

    WOMEN FIRST. Men afterwards.

    I WAS IN THE WRONG, but woman is always right so you must be wrong.

    Comment by Dark Mage
    01:48 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    I guess this is why they're not usually allowed to have guns.
    They're to incompetent to be trusted with a fire arm.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:56 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's not the japanese as a whole, just Osaka

    Avatar of Sith
    Comment by Sith
    14:11 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    If aliens say like this to them, they will proably say "whats about you whites shoot the black dudes in England or in USA?" From my direct experience....

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:33 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    That's probably the least productive and stupidest thing they could say, but then you're right. Japan doesn't seem care about bettering themselves; at least that's the perspective I got while living there. The young are just waiting for the old to die, and the old are running their nation into the ground.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:57 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    >The young are just waiting for the old to die, and the old are running their nation into the ground.

    So, it's like the UK?

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:01 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well it doesn't seem very productive either to bash another country's problems.

    Sure we can say we're trying to make them more aware so they can fix their problems, but wouldn't it be more productive to just fix our own problems?

    It seems like people here just bash other countries because they want to feel better about their own.

    Nationwide financial crises and bad foreign policies that kill civilians seem a far more serious issue than Japan's over protectiveness of schoolgirls or even China's occasional exploding products.

    People here read these articles to amuse themselves, but in reality most countries have far worse issues that need be dealt with, if your primary concern is really being "productive".

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:39 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    So... Basically its just like America.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:39 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Except 26 people are not killed in each incident in Japan.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:38 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    I truly don't get this rage over underage girls. My grandmother got married when she was 12 and has 7 children. She is still alive and well. No wonder their birth rate plummeted the male are too afraid to go for girls. I wonder if Japanese go extinct will we still get our anime and manga.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:51 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Part of the problem is the very high living standards means that raising a family on a salaryman's income is very difficult in Japan. Then added by the fact that the women seem to think that it is right and proper to leech off the husband and being insufferable (and thus the total opposite of your grandmother I reckon) and you have very very little reasons to want to get married.

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:06 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    True. But then again what their government doing is not helping in the matter either.

    Comment by Anonymous

    Gun down? Don't worry that's an American thing. lol

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:00 18/01/2014 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Next Story: A JK walked into a police station, polices arrested themselves.

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:55 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    They would rather drop a logic bomb, as to arrest themselves.

    In my opinium, those greedy, corrupt executives of law should finally embrace their darkness and cross the moral event horizont completely.
    Why? Because if you are corrupt, do it honestly.

    Arrest a random person for several weeks? Shot him in the head and dispose of the corpse.
    Low salary? Go to the next shop and confiscate all what you need. If the shop owner objects? Threat to arrest him and depending how annoying he is, torture him with violence until he becomes a slave to the police.

    Comment by Dark Mage
    01:45 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well their already in bed with the Yakuza.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:17 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    >Why? Because if you are corrupt, do it honestly.

    That's a contradiction in terms.
    You can't be both corrupt and honest at the same time.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:47 20/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    You can be honestly corrupt. Just demand bribes with none of the pretensions.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:53 18/01/2014 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Wild JK appeared!
    Old man used words of wisdom! It's not very effective!
    JK called police! It's super effective!

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:12 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Sometimes, I think that most of these news are just made up.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:45 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    you might be on to something here...

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:26 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    It will be an awkward moment when you realize this stranger-than-fiction news is totally real.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:45 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    If that's the truth, then someone needs to slow down their active imagination. Retard logic doesn't equate jokes.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:50 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I'm Japanese, and I am constantly the butt of the jokes my coworkers make due to this website. I'll walk into the break room and they'll be sitting there laughing only to look up at me, back at each other, and then laugh some more.

    It's okay, though.

    One of these days after a late night at the office, I'm gonna catch one of them alone in the parking lot and pull out my made-in-China butterfly knife from my pocket and exact swift justice before I pull out my Made-in-Korea wakizashi hidden under my car and commit seppuku.

    That'll teach them. ニッポン万歳!

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:09 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Maaaaybe you should just key their cars and puncture their tires and change your job?

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:10 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Or if you can't change your job, hmmm, I dunno, there must be something better though.

    Or your post is just humorous. :D

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:05 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Why are they laughing at you for visiting this website? That's weird.

    Avatar of Not Sure
    Comment by Not Sure
    14:14 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I know america is fucked up, but damn Japan, Damn.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:21 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    America is much more fucked up when it comes to laws.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:39 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)


    such danger


    Comment by Dark Mage
    01:47 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    In any other first would country the old man would be able to sue the police for wrongful arrest with near absolute certainty of winning.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:15 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Japanese are so degenerate.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:47 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Truer words have never been spoken.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:23 18/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    well, except when you say the same about Chinese.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:11 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    what a moron. he should've known better than talking to a minor in japan of all places...

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:29 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Its the law that weird. Can't the police just arrest all the people that come to the police station and report such ridiculous things.

    Its like all the people there, especially the police lose something that called 'common sense'.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:01 19/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    you don't understand the japanese mentality. who needs common sense when they have authority?

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