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Tokyo Penis Eaters Get Off

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All charges against those who cooked and ate a human penis on stage at a Tokyo club have been dropped after it was determined they not actually done anything illegal.

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The event in question took place at a club in Tokyo’s Suginami city, and was attended by 70 people, 5 of whom dined on the stage.

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They were reportedly served sliced human penis prepared by its former owner on stage, soused in wine in a frying pan. One of the diners described the meal as “Tough! Like chewing some tough rubber.”

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The penis supposedly belonged to the 22-year-old artist who proposed the event, having been severed and frozen in advance of the event.

Tokyo authorities were incensed by the event, and went about charging the event organisers for holding an indecent event.

However, the event organisers apparently went to some pains to cover themselves legally, meticulously making sure they did not run afoul of laws governing the sale of human organs, desecration of corpses, disposal of hospital waste, or food hygiene.

Diners were made to sign a legal disclaimer and a doctor investigating the event after the fact confirmed no medically hazardous hospital waste was used.

Japan has no law against cannibalism specifically, the crime instead being that of destroying or improperly disposing of a corpse – since this apparently could not be made to apply, authorities were left with trying to make do with charges of public indecency (the same law that has been used to arrest strippers).

Unfortunately for prosecutors, their case was not deemed strong enough to uphold charges against the 4 accused, which were dropped.

As usual an entertaining legal shenanigan was involved – charges of public indecency are apparently only valid indoors if the event charges for entry, which the penis eating show did not (although it did charge for the privilege of dining).

There was also concern that the manner in which the penis was eaten did not sufficiently stimulate the sexual desire of guests for it to constitute public obscenity.

The mayor of Suginami city was less than amused, and is apparently hoping to criminalise cannibalism to prevent further such antics:

“This is truly regrettable. To prevent further occurrence of these bizarre incidents, we shall work to enact a suitable legal framework for dealing with them on a national level, and strengthen our cooperation with the relevant bodies.”

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