Colin Powell has warned the youth of Japan they need more “muscle” and to stop reading manga lest they all turn into a nation of sissy little “herbivores” unable to pay off their national debt.
75-year-old former US Secretary of State and 4-star general Colin Powell gave an interview to Asahi in which he warned the Japanese youth of the dangers of being lead astray from the true path of jockdom by manga and video games, and the need to work hard and breed more so their elders can enjoy the pensions they voted themselves:
Some young people, called “herbivores,” choose games and manga over real love. What do you have to say to such young people?
“Young people must not only be aware of the problems facing the nation, they must also make progress as well. They can’t just sit around reading manga and texting.”
“The demographic crisis facing Japan is very grave. A small number of youngsters must support a large number of old people.”
“America is ageing too, but we are letting in plenty of immigrants, and thanks to them lots of kids are being born. Japan doesn’t have that. Japan’s ageing is severe, and the people who are going to have to pay for that are the youth of today.”
“The value of Japan’s youth is greater than that of the US – Japan doesn’t have the luxury of letting its youth turn into herbivores. It must have its young become strong and hone their muscles.
They need lots of protein, and to train themselves hard. It’s important that they face up to the future and work towards solving Japan’s ageing society and low birth rates. It’s the young who will determine the future of Japan.”
“The Japanese didn’t use to be herbivores. I’d like them to take a look at themselves in a mirror and reflect on that. They’ve overcome many difficulties – after the war they achieved massive economic growth. They came back from every difficulty.
I really respect that Japan, I’m proud of our alliance with them.”
Coming from a nation which is widely revered for leading the world in obesity, warmongering and lately budget crises, there is a certain sense of this being a case of the pot calling the kettle black amongst the Japanese (to say nothing of those who wonder why an entire generation must sacrifice itself to pay the unfinanced pensions of an older one in the first place):
“Tell it to your own nation’s fatties…”
“Powell looks as though he could take up sumo himself these days…”
“This guy talks like an archetypal meathead.”
“I bet he can lift 150kg…”
“Sure he isn’t just trying to increase US beef exports?”
“Having presided over the slaughter of his own country’s youth it’s not surprising he’d say this stuff.”
“You guys think anything a foreigner says must be right, don’t you?”
“I think he speaks truth!”
“He’s just the scion of some political dynasty looking out for his own, look how full of himself he is.”
“He was raised in the Bronx, the child of Jamaican immigrants, and joined the army…”
“He worked himself up from the bottom to the number 2 position in the US armed forces.”
“He’s a latter day Toyotomi Hideyoshi!”
“Playing FPSes is probably acceptable.”
“You Americans are too obsessed with this macho stuff. You’ve got a bad case of ‘roid rage.”
“He just wants to make sure Japan is fit to go to war for the US. He doesn’t want us getting too strong, of course.”
“Let’s beef ourselves up, and play games and read manga!”