Aging king of kung fu kitsch Jackie Chan has waded into the debate (or non-debate, according to both China and Japan) surrounding the sovereignty of the Senkaku islands, saying they ought to be returned to China’s loving embrace.

He made the comments during a media event promoting the Chinese release of his latest movie, “Chinese Zodiac,” having neatly segued from the film’s theme of “stolen Chinese treasures being returned” into demanding the “return” of Chinese territory:

“Historically speaking, they belong to China. […] If I were the judge, I’d seek to have the country which stole them return them. If I were superman, I’d love to drag those islands closer to China.”

He seems to have stopped short of demanding the return of Okinawa to Chinese suzerainty, instead having his eyes set on a much bigger prize – Russian territory (most of Russia’s far eastern territory is actually outer Manchuria, extorted from China in 1858 as part of the Treaty of Aigun, although for some reason China has not been as vociferous in demanding its return as it has in other areas):

“Vladivostok should also be returned to China, and the Northern Territories to Japan.”

His remarks are not entirely surprising – he has previously spoken out against the evils of Taiwanese independence, denounced human rights campaigners, criticised Hong Kong for being “chaotic” in comparison to the worker’s paradise on the mainland, and made such inspiring remarks as “I’m not sure if it’s good to have freedom or not.”

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    Comment by Anonymous
    22:27 02/10/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    "If I were the judge, I’d seek to have the country which stole them return them. If I were superman, I’d love to drag those islands closer to China."

    And if I were a military superpower, I'd lay waste to those islands. They'd make prime testing grounds for nuclear devices, now enjoy your uninhabitable rocks located in the middle of nowhere.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:05 02/10/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    “Historically speaking, they belong to China. If I were the judge, I’d seek to have the country which stole them return them. If I were superman, I’d love to drag those islands closer to China.”

    Historically speaking, Tibet was a free nation...


    Comment by Anonymous
    03:00 04/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Historically speaking, Tibet was also under a heavy theocratical state where non-religious became slaves to the Dalai Lama or just killed.

    Not that I care whether China gets Tibet or Tibet gets independance. I wouldn't call that a real "FREE" nation...

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:24 02/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    All your land are belong to me!

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:54 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    The Spartans had a great reply to all this, they would just say "If."

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:13 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Somebody needs to liberate tibet/manchuria/inner mongolia/ and that muslim province from China. Chinese had no rights living in Manchuria, which was never a place where Han lived. Same with the rest. China should be reduced to only southern China, and the entire rest of its territory returned to the natives. Han Chinese living in these places should be thrown out the way the russians threw half of a million Japanese and hundreds of thousands of koreans out of their territories.

    Avatar of Gustav
    Comment by Gustav
    22:54 02/10/2012 # ! Neutral (-0.2)

    That wouldn't make the oil go away, if there even is some.
    If I had reality warping powers, a la Haruhi, I would sink those islands into the cold, dark abyss. Then I would make SCP-682 reality(random choice, because I just read about it), right into Jackie Chan's bathroom. And Chuck Norris', because he is a dick, too.
    Try to kung-fu THAT, assholes!

    Avatar of Pyrolight
    Comment by Pyrolight
    03:02 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    If you managed to nuke them so that no point was above the surface of the water, they effectively cease to exist as far as land/mineral claims go.

    Comment by Anonymous

    China doesn't want the islands closer to them, the whole point is that if they can get the islands, they get control of the water around them, for fishing, military patrols, or otherwise.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:11 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    No stupid, they want them because oil was found off their coastal line. At least try to wiki before you open your mouth and prove you're an uninformed idiot.

    "After it was discovered in 1968 that oil reserves might be found under the sea near the islands,[4] Japan's sovereignty over them has been disputed by the People's Republic of China (PRC) and the Republic of China (ROC, commonly known as Taiwan) following the transfer of administration from the United States to Japan in 1971."

    Modern disputes & warfare always boils down to oil. Haven't you already learned that? Stupid.

    Comment by Anonymous

    wiki hahahahahahahahahaha hahahaha hahaha aha ahaha ahahahaaa aa a a ahahahah aha ahaa ahahaha

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:47 30/03/2013 # ! Neutral (0)


    Comment by Anonymous
    22:34 02/10/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    As a kid I liked Jackie, he was nearly my hero.
    Once I grew up I realised he was a great chinese patriot and doesn't dare publicly criticize the governments oppression and control...

    Sorry Jackie, I liked you in your movies but in real life you're just an idiot.

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:58 02/10/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    He also cheats on his wife and is a womaniser.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:18 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    If you actually read the news, he is scum. The stupidity he spews from his mouth, the way he treats women or his peers in acting. Always on the high horse but the things his does behind his gongfu actor facade... scumbag.

    Jet Li and Donnie Yen are both gentlemen compared to this lowlife. Fucking old dementia coot.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:35 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    "the way he treats women or his peers in acting." and "but the things his does behind his gongfu actor facade"

    care to tell more, sir? or a link related to the topic will do just fine.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:06 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Sounds like a good excuse to write a Jackie NTR doujin.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:51 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hahahahah NTR doujin! Good idea!

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:55 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    If you watch his movies, you will notice he has a tendency to have scenes where he gropes his female co-stars, the clout he has in the industry is such that they can't really complain without getting shitcanned by the studios.

    Avatar of Leong Qifeng
    Comment by Leong Qifeng
    14:51 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Okay,you win...

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:59 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hate to say this, but even people of Hong Kong don't like Jacky that much these days, and some even go as far as denounce him as "Chinese government's lapdog". Most would like and respect Jacky as an actor and movie makers, but they don't really like him as a person with so much negative news surrounding his private life or as an individual.

    It's really a ironic that how he is as a person goes against almost the very meaning of the lyrics in his song "Hero's story" for Police Story movie...

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:19 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    He's pretty estranged from his son as well.
    And nope, he's donating his fortune to charity when he retires.
    You'd think he;d give some to his son when he ignored him for most of his childhood but...

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:15 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    I bet caucasian people still love him as usual because they have no idea what the chinese report is saying.

    Avatar of Mitchell
    Comment by Mitchell
    14:30 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    So true. I haven't heard a single bad word over here in the states. Love his movies even if he is a horrible human.

    Avatar of Mauvais
    Comment by Mauvais
    18:49 04/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    You got us there, anon. This is the first I've heard of Jackie's antics. Naturally, it's Sankaku bringing forth the dirt in an Asian's lifestyle...

    Comment by Anonymous

    Fuck him, his glory days are long gone.

    Comment by Anonymous

    He wasn't big enough back then to "convince" the mother to have an abortion. Everyone, even tangentially, connected to the HK film industry knows that 陳港生 is a great actor, but a shitty human being.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:01 09/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Jackie's a living legend. Love his films

    Avatar of Ambrosius
    Comment by Ambrosius
    04:10 19/02/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    i agree with you on this.

    it makes me sad to realise jackie chan is an ass hat.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:14 04/11/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I would have to agree as well.
    Was a hero when I was a kid.

    Here we go again...should return everything back to China. let's all change the whole world back to the way it used to be.

    CHina just wants power..that's all. That is why they will not give up Taiwan and tibet. They wanna claim Senkaku and Okinawa..now part of russia.

    All for power. If you tell them to give up Taiwan, Tibet and hong kong, they won't. scumbag fucks.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:11 02/10/2012 # ! Good (+0.9)

    China should return Tibet to the Tibetans...

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:46 03/10/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    The world should be returned to itself. -_-

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:38 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    That's what I think. Stupid humans fighting over territory all the time. One natural disaster later, and people (briefly) remember that no land truly belongs to them.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:05 03/10/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    China should be returned to Mongolia, The Mediterranean and the middle eats should be returned to greece; phillipines, 75 % of United States and the rest of America should be returned to Spain along with some countries from central Europe.

    Wtf is wrong with everyone? Japan has occupied the islands (virtually) for over 100 years, nobody should give a fuck right now about those rocky lumps in the ocean.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:18 03/10/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Everyone gives a fuck when there's oil.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:07 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Actually China has been giving a fuck since the late 70's, but there was no internet back then.

    The recent event was triggered because Japan "bought" the island.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:01 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It started before then. The real trigger was China's rapidly improving capability to drill in that environment. It wasn't that economic before.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:05 04/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's what we call double standards. Which us Westerners seem to be very rich in. Well Americans anyway, you'll hardly ever see Europeans showing hypocrisy as much as those from USA. I blame Fox News...

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:15 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    North America should be given back to brontosauruses and Australia should be given back to koalas.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:07 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    You're 100% right. By that logic all of China, the middle east, and eastern europe all the way up to austria should be given to mongolia. It was Genghis Khan's by right of conquest.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:12 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Way to include more countries in the mix. The point was for China to let go of their claims if Japan had occupied the islands for more than a hundred years and now have official ownership through contract by a sale from the inhabitants which are... wait for it... Japanese nationals. Yay!

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:22 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    They "let go of their claims"? They never "let go" of it, but it was more of the case world police the almighty US of A forcibly marked the island as being part of Okinawa for Japan, completely ignoring the protest from both China and Taiwan. I guess America was playing Robin Hood :P

    People seem to like to read whatever they are fed by Sankaku when it comes to China bashing regardless of the truth, as it is more fun that way. It also makes them feel superior while allowing them to turn their eyes away from the problems of their own countries' government.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:22 03/10/2012 # ! Drivel (-0.7)

    Spain? you are retard?

    Spain invade the continent America, and thats scumbag robbed all treasures.

    Nobody give a fuck when robbed gold.
    If you dont know nothing, dont say nothing, just show how you are ignorant.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:45 04/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    lol @ you guys who think what people write in books an teach in school is the truth.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:32 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    To Anon 06:26,
    It is true that history has told us that Mexico and the Native American tribes should be getting the U.S. rather than Spain, but let's not fight our own kind. It seems anon 02:05, although misguided, was just trying to convey an idea we are aligned with. Let's cut him some slack, his heart was in the right place.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:01 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    America belongs to native Americans.

    Comment by Anonymous

    True, half the USA territories BELONGS TO MEXICO, it never did to Spain!! IDIOT! Go back to school 02:05 03/10/2012 you are so ignorant!

    Comment by Anonymous


    Comment by Anonymous

    Yeah and california should go back to mexico

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:38 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    And Mexico should give it back to Spanish. And the Spanish should give it back to the natives. And the natives should give it back to the natives who took it from another tribe. Your point is invalid.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:46 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    The point isn't invalid. The point is that making arbitrary claims of land ownership just because of historical ownership is completely ridiculous.

    Japan owns the islands, get over it China.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:40 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    And Japan should give me back my Koala Yummies.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:27 04/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    If Japan wants to keep the islands, then they should be prepared to fight for them. Territory only exists and is kept because war or the threat of war makes it so. Think of Israel.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:08 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    If china takes back this island, there's literally nothing to stop China from claiming the entire asia/pacific region.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:39 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Mexico sold California to America, faggot.

    Comment by Anonymous

    Yes, and half of USA.

    Comment by Anonymous

    oh boy, what a burn

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:02 03/10/2012 # ! Drivel (-1.0)

    The Dalai Lama is a fraud and a criminal just like the UK royal family.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:38 03/10/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    And Mao is just a tasteless mass murder just like Hitler.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:45 03/10/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Both were horrible mass murderers, but Mao was the greater asshole. His assholery surpasses Hitler's by the hundrets!

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:42 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    The real evil is USA!!
    Because they kiled Indians and stole ther land!

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:57 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Time for the Grammar Nazi to step up ..
    it's spelled hundreds not hundrets.
    and 450 thousand and 6 million .. thank you and have a nice day

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:42 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Kids, don't bring Hitler into a debate like this. Aside from the questionable classiness of invoking Godwin's Law, you give more fuel to Chinese national fundamentalists because of the parallels between World War II Japanese aggression and the Holocaust (the Chinese civilian death toll at the hands of the Japanese alone is more than the Holocaust).

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:31 04/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Actually that'd be a spelling nazi, as a grammar nazi you failed miserably.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:00 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hitler was more efficient in terms of kills per year, plus his methods of execution were more gruesome.

    Comment by Anonymous

    They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land! They took our land!

    Comment by Anonymous

    Mao killed over 100 millions of your OWN people!

    Hittle is incomparable to Mao, he only killed about 450 thousands jews (and NOT 6 millions!).

    Avatar of starsplash
    Comment by starsplash
    02:53 03/10/2012 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    Id say China is much more evil than the UK royal family.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:48 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Yeah, Britain are criminals, they just gave back 1/3 of the world for shits n giggles.

    Avatar of Assassinister
    Comment by Assassinister
    03:03 03/10/2012 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    They invade Japan and called people living there eleven.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:53 03/10/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Not excactly "give", they just didn't have the manpower nor funding to enforce their control anymore so they took the easy path...

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:53 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Insistently they were right.

    Comment by Anonymous

    That's horrible! How could they?

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:06 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    I don't even know what to say to you. The royal family may have started disorganized, but they built up the navy which colonized a great part of the modern world. If the British royal family are criminals, then the Chinese are savage barbarians.

    The Dalai Lama cannot be put into court for doing anything wrong as he hasn't done anything wrong. I hope you aren't Chinese.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:31 04/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    He hasn't done anything wrong? Maybe not enough to go to court, but plenty to say he's "assisted". Nice way to avoid details of the Dalai Lama colluding with Amerian "Interests". Americans are ignorant. I hope you aren't American.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:43 04/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    @ 17:31
    The Dalai Lama is assisted on protecting himself from being nabbed from the street and being beaten by Chinese from the shadows.

    Avatar of kazaza2
    Comment by kazaza2
    07:07 03/10/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Mao liked to deflower 12 year old girls as a hobby. He'd have his lackies round them up and he would jump on them. I guess the old fat fuck thought he was doing them a favor by being fucked by a guy who looked like a toad stool.

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