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The Japan’s Italian embassy has officially protested the description of nyotaimori (“naked sushi”) as a “traditional Japanese” culinary practice, after the nation’s first nude sushi restaurant proudly trumpeted it as such.

The embassy’s outrage stems from “Rome’s premier Japanese restaurant” Ristorante Giapponese Yoshi’s decision to offer “body sushi” cuisine, providing “Italy’s first” authentic nyotaimori dining experience, with human platters of both sexes available for €199 plus €59 per customer.

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This was soon picked up by the Italian press, which uncritically introduced it as if it were offering a “traditional” or common culinary experience from Japan.

However, the Japanese embassy was having none of it, and sent letters of protest to all such rags chastising them thus:

“The notion that this is a Japanese tradition is a mere superstition fabricated for marketing purposes.”

It is not clear whether the establishment in question is actually owned or run by Japanese.

Just where and when “nyotaimori” arose is not clear, but the complete absence of historical references to the practice (in fact almost all references to it in Japanese refer to the controversies it causes overseas) seems to suggest it is at best a recent and obscure creation of Japan’s sex industry which has been picked up overseas and then marketed using a “Japanese perversion” or “ancient and traditional Japanese refinement” angle, if not a complete fabrication as the embassy would have it.

Most Japanese in any case clearly consider the practice disgusting or else have far more interesting fetishes in which to indulge – it is not even clear whether there are any such establishments in Japan, a nation overflowing with bizarre sex clubs of all kinds.

The Japanese Internet is awash with theories as to the true state of affairs:

“Eating off a foreigner sounds smelly.”

“This does sound like a Japanese tradition though…”

“This is about as traditional as nopan-shabushabu.”

“They should offer genuine Japanese nopan-shabushabu instead.”

“Am I unpatriotic for never having done this?”

“Who cares, let them enjoy themselves. By Japanese standards this is pretty tame. No doubt we thought of it.”

“Stop playing with your food, gaijin!”

“This is not culinary culture, it’s sex culture.”

“It’s not even sex culture, it’s prostitution culture. How is this culinary culture, you hairy barbarians?”

“Nyotaimori is obviously totally gross but has such a high profile, I wonder why?”

“This just sounds disgusting and unclean.”

“I find the notion of doing this with a man particularly troubling.”

“That is seriously messed up.”

“I have my doubts as to whether the proprietor is Japanese.”

“More Koreans trying to ruin our image overseas!”

“Don’t worry – if this does spread all over the world, the Koreans will just claim they invented it anyway.”

“One of these shops opened in the US and annoyed a bunch of feminists – needless to say the staff were all Korean-Americans.”

“I don’t think this is Japanese at all. Japanese would not want to let the food get ruined by being heated up like that.”

“The decor of the shop is clearly Chinese, not Japanese:”

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“Also some of the menus have spelling problems and other mistakes… definitely run by Chinese rather than Japanese.”

“With the timing, I really would suspect this is designed to damage Japan’s reputation.”

“Warm sashimi is gross. Who’d want to eat that off a woman. Although I wouldn’t mind trying to grab her nipples with chopsticks…”

“Sushi is ruined by getting heated up. And are they sterilising the person’s body completely? You’d surely get food poisoning from all the bacteria on the skin.”

“If you think about it, serving up sushi or sashimi on a human body is simply grotesque.”

“Obviously this is just made up to appeal to a few weird fetishists or as a novelty. Anyone can see it would ruin the taste.”

“Don’t deny it just because it’s a bit shady – it probably is Japanese.”

“Just where did this originate? My guess is some porn movie.”

“I do remember seeing something about this in some porn mag back in the eighties. I guess that is where it came from.”

“As with nopan-shabushabu, only people whose minds were warped by the bubble would connect food and sex in this way.”

“But who else would think of something like this but the Japanese?”

“Well done to anyone who can stand eating like that. This’d never fly in Japan, we are too fastidious about cleanliness.”

“If this really is Japanese, then it came out of some sex district’s brothel somewhere. It’s best not to confuse it with some kind of ‘traditional culture.’”

“It came from Japanese copying what they saw in some English SM party, that’s all.”

“This isn’t culinary culture at all, you stupid foreigners.”

“Foreigners are the real hentai here, not us.”

“Foreigners are too smelly to do this, but it might work with Japanese.”

“The skin of foreign women is unclean and quite unsuitable for nyotaimori.”

“Where can you actually do this in Japan? I wouldn’t mind trying.”

“Are there even any shops doing this in Japan? It is pretty suspect.”

“I think it would actually be illegal in Japan – we have food hygiene laws here, don’t we?”

“I don’t think Japan can really complain – for years we called ‘soaplands’ ‘Turkish baths’ until they persuaded us to stop.”

“Right. Although I would like to see the nopan places revived.”

“I wouldn’t mind eating pizza or spaghetti off the body of an Italian girl…”

“I suppose nobody has posted this yet:”

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“The real problem here is not introducing wakamezake as well.”

“Can we please just stick to nopan-shabushabu?”

“Wakamezake will be next!”

“I don’t think this is really worth protesting about, but I’d like to tip off Sankaku about it and see what the foreigners think.”

For those wondering, nopan-shabushabu is a genuinely Japanese bubble-era dining experience which involved mirrored floors and waitresses bereft of underwear, and was known to be a favourite of Japanese bankers and the ministry of finance…


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    191 Comments
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    Comment by Anonymous
    04:57 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.9)

    So what I get from all those comments: nyotaimori is best served on near dead frozen Japanese women.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:20 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    basically any japanese housewives.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:28 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    you win one internets

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:02 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Smells of week old frozen squid.

    Comment by Anonymous

    japanese housewives? serious?!

    99% of japanese female are so fugly. fck that shit no wonder 2D business is so glorious in japan.

    They need plastic surgery to be able to compete the with caucasian on equal term.

    caucasian females >>>> japanese females.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:29 28/08/2012 # ! Drivel (-1.0)

    another idiotic korean saying stupid stuff

    people say one liners to be funny, but there's just the typical korean butt-hurt and hate coming from your stupid comment

    seriously i hope sankaku complex will start banning korean ip's so we can maybe get rid of some of these low class idiots

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:43 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    lol u mad bro?

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:34 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    He mad.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:45 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    He so mad, his ass is bleeding.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:28 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    Actually, evidence is awash of this practice, as far back as 1200AD.

    It's just that Japanese government deny their authority, assuming forgery until proven innocent, applying standards that would make most of Japan's history forgery.

    This is classic Japanese face-saving drama over nothing. Almost as laughable as Iranian president claiming there are no homosexuals in his country.

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:12 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Links or GTFO

    Avatar of Gitami
    Comment by Gitami
    14:56 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Link please. Education on Sakaku lol.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:41 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Where's the evidence?

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:12 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    LOL there is no evidence. Just another Korean on sankaku trying to troll.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:38 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I hear there is this uber cool secret hacker site called google which has the answer to all questions in the universe (or at least some of them).

    Comment by StefanKinoshita
    04:21 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    “I don’t think this is really worth protesting about, but I’d like to tip off Sankaku about it and see what the foreigners think.” - Hahaha.

    To be quite honest I think eating off a person is pretty gross.

    Avatar of Senjou
    Comment by Senjou
    05:27 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    To be quite honest, I think eating off anything that isn't 2D is pretty gross.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:57 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Perfect I'll open a sushi joint that will serve sushi off scotch guarded dakimakuras.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:02 08/09/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It seems that Dakimakura-mori has been used: http://blog.livedoor.jp/qmanews/archives/51979547.html

    Avatar of Yamato
    Comment by Yamato
    09:22 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I hope the Japanese people reading this get some ideas.

    それ読んだか。女体の代わりに抱き枕はどう?素晴らしい食事じゃない?

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:10 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well, I understand how exciting it can be.
    But it's true that it would eat up the food...And Im not sure about eating warm sushi.

    That said, it's an italian japanese retaurant anyway, so the sushi are probably shit to begin with.

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:38 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    sushi are shit to begin with anyway, nothing can make it better.

    piece of shit, low class food.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:29 29/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Low class... says the maggot spewing very educated words lol

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:07 30/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    lol low class so racist hahahaha, typical 2ch-japs.

    maximum retardness.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:00 29/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    What's wrong with children's stories?

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:14 29/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Ya know he's right, it is a low class dish.

    ... Says the weaboo who should find career in writing children storys.... lol

    Avatar of Gogetters
    Comment by Gogetters
    Avatar of Shaolan-kun
    Comment by Shaolan-kun
    05:02 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Agree. But more than gross, I'd say stupid.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:53 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Do the attendees fuck the girls after eating sushi off of them?

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:19 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    i don't like pubic hair with my sushi.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:27 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well they are eating of off the leaves and not directly off the skin, so it's not entirely unsanitary. However, it is incredibly tacky and gross. Just like a strip club, I'll have no part of it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:47 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    what if they farted...

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:07 31/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    or had a seizure

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:47 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: I hate warm sushi!

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:44 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I hate sushi period. I only dine at Japanese restaurants for the habachi.

    Avatar of Imyou
    Comment by Imyou
    13:45 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Shichirin.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:16 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Italian people confirmed for trolling and japanese fell for it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:24 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    lol japanese fall for anything... and then they blame the chinese or korean.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:08 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    In Europe, it's usually Chinese leeching off the "exotic" image of Japanese cuisine. Probably Koreans for the USA?

    Who cares who made it, as long as it's tasty and looks yummy.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:18 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    lol where I live there's a korean sushi place that serves "Starcraft roll"

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:36 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    chinese cuisine > japanese

    but the chinese forced to sell japanese cuisine because the european are more familiar with it and they don't mind spending lots €€ for it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:15 31/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's the Vietnamese who do it in Germany.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:06 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Sushi, naw... but there are other foods that go well on women.

    I don't get the whole "its not sanitary" thing. I'm sure that these ladies are showering up beforehand, and I figure it's about as unsanitary as giving someone a kiss, sucking on their nipples, or somesuch like that. I don't know about anyone else, but I've never heard about anyone getting food poisoning from licking another person's body.

    Avatar of hotshot™
    Comment by hotshot™
    15:31 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    The problem isn't whether she showered or not. That doesn't rid the body of bacteria. The problem is the RAW fish. The fish may be cleaned upon being served, but the second it comes in contact with human skin any bacteria on there is gonna breed in that RAW fish like wildfire. You can't even digest it fast enough before the fish is completely colonized by whatever micro organisms managed to find it's way on it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:58 29/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's all the bukkake that makes it unsanitary.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:38 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Those "Japs" (ups) are a little racist.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:41 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    a "little" is an understatement.

    "come to japan, where you're NOT welcome in most places."

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:12 28/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    I was welcome on my trip there...

    I'm guessing it's just you.

    Avatar of hotshot™
    Comment by hotshot™
    15:27 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    This is definitely the first I've heard anything of being unwelcome. They may not say 'Come on in! Buy a house and move in!' But that isn't tantamount to pure discrimination. (Minus the occasional 'No foreigners allowed' establishments. But to that I say fine, if you don't want my money I'll give to this other Japanese who will take it. With that they're just a little richer than you.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:20 05/06/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Gaijin have a negative association in Japan because of their often rude behaviour. They won't throw you out or something if you have decent japanese skills and are polite. Heck, Alot of the time, these aren't even meant that way and just mean that the store staff doesn't speak english, but you can of course still enter it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:03 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    The only thing little about Japan is their penises.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:43 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    You must have sucked a lot of Japanese dicks.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:12 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    You speaking from sexual experience, bro?!

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:31 29/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Guess you pay more attention to the penises when you watch porn then.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:22 24/09/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    uh gross....

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:56 28/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    most porn u c with jp cast have their men with small penises. makes me wonder if their women play along when being aroused or hav naturaly small members themselvs to accommodate for their partners'.







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