China Quality Exploding Chair Anally Maims Girl

girl-on-chair-medaka-box.jpg

China is again quaking in its seats after being shaken by yet another incident of a randomly exploding chair horribly maiming the poor unfortunate sat upon it.

The incident occurred in a Fujian province apartment one evening after its female resident finished showering and took a seat to dry her hair.

30 seconds after taking a seat, the chair’s gas cylinder exploded with devastating force, severely injuring her backside, anus and vagina.

She was hospitalised and a number of operations were necessary to completely remove all the iron fragments and screws which had been embedded in her body by the explosion.

The force of the explosion was so great the wood and sponge of the chair’s seat was completely shredded, and the PC on the desk it was placed under was sent flying.

The explosion has been blamed on the nitrogen gas pressure cylinder used to adjust the height of the chair – poor quality manufacturing combined with abrupt changes in temperature and pressure can result in the cylinder exploding, which tends to be especially devastating when occurring immediately underneath a person sat on a typically flimsy seat.

Needless to say, the chair in question was made in China – although authorities claim the maker was “unlicensed” and not subject to any inspections, as well as being impossible to contact.

China’s exploding chair incidents have become distressingly frequent in recent years, with some even proving fatal.


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    Avatar of Demi-Rebel 72
    Comment by Demi-Rebel 72
    04:09 24/08/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    *Facepalm* Why the fuck would anyone, especially China, install a nitrogen gas pressure cylinder on a fucking computer chair!? Haven't they ever heard of using seats with lifting handles? We all know nitrogen is capable of blowing shit up yet these mofos put it on a chair, which can most likely go boom by the most slightest pressure. I winder what is next on China's exploding house appliances?

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:57 24/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    It's China. They sell cushions stuffed with trash inside. What did you expect?

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:46 25/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    wut, why haven't I heard of these "trash cushions"?

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:49 25/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Those chairs with lifting handles operate on a nitrogen gas cylinder.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:07 25/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    nitrogen explodes? not the other gas that starts with a "H"?

    Avatar of Omanko
    Comment by Omanko
    13:25 25/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Ya ya, instead, they should install a hydrogen gas pressure cylinder on your computer chair as we all know Hydrogen is INcapable of blowing shit up (at least without oxygen around ;)

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:47 25/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    How old are you? Do you realise most computer chair, manufacturered anywhere, has penumatic (gas operated) lifting systems?

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:28 27/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    70% of the air is made up of nitrogen.
    Nitrogen does not blow things up, so it might be nitrate related products that you might be thinking.

    Most computers chairs have this air compression chamber to do the "lift" when you pull the handle.

    However in this scenario that compression is probably made poorly or it's over-pressurized which causes the explosion.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:37 27/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    How the fuck did this get so many up votes? Clearly sancoms commentors don't know that most adjustable chairs use pressured gas cylinders. Unless you are using an old chair that turn and swivel to adjust height.

    Avatar of Imyou
    Comment by Imyou
    06:07 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Maybe it's a translation artifact? After all, the cylinder on normal office chairs is basically full of nitrogen... from the air.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:53 24/08/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Am I like the only one who wonders, if this girl is ever going to walk or have children.. =/
    I really wonder what damage this did.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:23 24/08/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    I was just wondering the same thing. It's easy to make light of this situation with [funny] jokes and all, but this is still very tragic and unfortunate. I hope she will be okay.

    Comment by Anonymous

    actually, women are accustomed to getting things shoved in their holes, although maybe not metal tubes flying at 100km/h, but at least they are more accustomed to it than men are,
    imagine if you were sitting on the chair, masturbating to daiteikoku cgs, then the cylinder explodes and replaces your thick, hard ready to explode rod with a thick, hard already exploded metal rod, your balls would become real balls of steel huh...

    Avatar of Fayt
    Comment by Fayt
    10:45 22/05/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    I can't lie everything after the first paragraph was funny as hell

    Comment by Anonymous

    Why down voted this made me laugh

    Avatar of de Maria
    Comment by de Maria
    08:59 24/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Kidding aside, she's definitely scarred for life.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:26 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    She just got chair raped...lol

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:10 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    lol now she has some suprise iron teeth hidden in there for whoever try to rape her

    Avatar of de Maria
    Comment by de Maria
    01:39 24/08/2012 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    Makes me glad I'm sitting on a locally made wooden chair.

    Made in Chinatown's ok right? Right?

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:06 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I assume even the Chinese are going to have a hard time making plain wood explode. I would check what's in the cushions through...

    Avatar of SaltyPenguin
    Comment by SaltyPenguin
    14:29 24/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    A hard time? You underestimate them. They can make anything explode if they really want to.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:06 25/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    almost anything, exploding rockets and missles are an ancient lost art to them.

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:53 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    She should be really sad right now. Hope she can chair up.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:33 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It could still be hollowed out wood with stuff inside of it like garbage.....that could probably make wood explode if the conditions are right >.>

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:26 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I think those were the 1st astronaut test chairs for getting their people into space.

    Avatar of Omanko
    Comment by Omanko
    13:32 25/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Bear in mind that the Chinese invented fire powder after all, don't you think after a few thousands of years their technology could not turn anything into explosive materials? Indeed, it is just a simple twist in the down neutrino-muon transformation in the 4-manifold atomic structure, everyone could do that.

    Avatar of Gekokujou
    Comment by Gekokujou
    20:12 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Dude, don't give China any other funny ideas.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:11 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wood can most definitely explode. It's a problem one normally encounters with large weaponry like balistas, trebuchets, and battering rams. Apply enough force from the right directions and it will explode accelerating splinters fast enough to cut into bone. The amount of force required is proportional to the size and shape, I imagine it really doesn't take much force at all for something like a chair leg.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:52 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's kind of ironic that we get the quality products from China 95% of the time, but China itself screws themselves over (literally) with their own products. I doubt China will ever reliquish the thought of selling foreign produts just to boost their own revenue.

    Guess the plus side is, everything is cheap. The downside? Don't think I need to explain...

    Avatar of Erranty
    Comment by Erranty
    05:11 24/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Well I wouldn't say that. The Drywall that was imported from China after Hurricane Katrina for making trailers for the victims turned out to be fatally toxic. The U.S. Government is STILL looking into legal action after all these years.

    Avatar of Octopi
    Comment by Octopi
    05:45 24/08/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    i can only see how corrupt goverments around the world are. if there was any justice at all the international community should demand of China to either comply with safety and quality standards or ban al China products. in the news is just a constant flow of how Chinese products are hazardous. but in this money ruled world we are now at risk all the time thanks to chinese products, that sadly are everywhere,

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:01 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    It's more of the greedy businesses who would die if they had to pay an actual living wage to workers outside of China, if we placed such a ban. Look at Apple and their major supplier foxcon, where workers rather commit suicide then work for scraps. Oh and Apple is now the most wealthy company in the world. To who is the actual wealth and at what cost?

    Avatar of Octopi
    Comment by Octopi
    20:07 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    yes but in most countries greedy businesses are the same thing as governments. all of this is product of the ideas that propose letting the market run free without guidance from governments, and that produced some prosperity in the very short term, but that now are creating an economic collapse around the world. but all this geniuses failed to see that while getting rid of workers made them gain in the short term, but in the long term left you without a lot of consumers who either bought your own product or kept the economic chain going.
    then again maybe the simply didn't care, after all now they are filthy rich, so who cares about the millions of unemployed people and collapsing economies around the world?

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:47 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I think it's safe to say that most of the products being imported from China are inspected by the company doing the importing, at least initially and on a somewhat regular basis. The importing company would do this to maintain their own standard of quality and their own good name.

    Most importers will also do their homework and establish whether or not the Chinese supplier is a reputable company or not before hey start importing any product.

    There's also the matter of most importers being repeat customers. Selling crappy, and even worse dangerous product to a repeat customer is a sure way to cut you off from a very lucrative means of revenue.

    Avatar of Octopi
    Comment by Octopi
    20:12 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    i am afraid i don't agree, it has become common knowledge how hazardous are chinese products. around here Mattel, just to name one, had to pull whole toy lines out of the shelves, and pay costumers to get products back because they found high levels of hazardous materials in
    toys. also just the other day we heard, in the news of a very large network, the case of a girl who used some chinese herbs and started
    growing like a balloon and recently died. i even think i read of her, here in this site some time ago.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:51 25/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Erm no, you read these quality product from China 95% of the time because you read Sankaku too much. Are you saying 95% of chair explodes?

    Such incident is relatively rare, when you consider the amount of chinese products ever made. Yes, it's still unforgivable.

    Quality has been improving steadily and quality products can be made in China. Does sankaku report those? No.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:45 25/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    95% quality products from china???
    Ummmm.... no!

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:03 25/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    You do realize that many components used in the PC you are using right now and most others are made in China right? Be in denial all you want, but fact is most things we use are made in China and is in perfect working condition.

    Face it, as much as "China Quality" gets exposure here and is a running joke, most China products are of good quality when involved internationally.

    Avatar of boneless
    Comment by boneless
    18:39 25/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    So that's why I have to throw away my PC every other year.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:24 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    China dumps its quality products to overseas markets at below production cost, via government subsidies, while reserving the defective crap for its own people, often at higher prices. Chinese consumers have been suffering for years under this flooding policy.

    If you want something that illustrates the state of "human rights" in China, forget the handful of political activists that no one gives a fuck about, just look at this instead.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:26 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    That's the same story with Korean cars actually. Kia and Hyundai makes decent cars these days, but that's only the ones made for export. The ones they make for their domestic market are flimsy at best.

    Avatar of Astray Flame
    Comment by Astray Flame
    06:36 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It sound like that, but it is more of regulations. Some country have regulations/law that the manufacturer have to go by in order to sell their products, however, some or all regulations/law may not be present in the manufacturer's country.

    Ex. USA ban leads materials in paints and toys, but China don't have this ban therefore China's products may contain leads of varying level.

    Avatar of Akuserator
    Comment by Akuserator
    02:04 24/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Now I'm terrified of my own super comfortable chair...

    Avatar of Octopi
    Comment by Octopi
    05:53 24/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    i myself worry too, is very hard to know the country of origin, with some products bought at places like office depot, not to mention you can't go inspecting every chair you sit at in public buildings and the like.

    Avatar of Sado-Sensei
    Comment by Sado-Sensei
    08:16 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    (looks nervously at chair) Might want to put down some kevlar.

    Avatar of Octopi
    Comment by Octopi
    20:13 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    i am thinking on simply buying a pile of bricks and seat over them instead.

    Avatar of Cirno Cancer
    Comment by Cirno Cancer
    02:35 24/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Itsumo hitori de aruiteta Furikaeru to minna ha tooku~

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:19 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I see what you did there. Well played sir, well played!

    Avatar of kodain
    Comment by kodain
    10:45 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hahahaha! It's times like these I love watching animes, that I get to enjoy jokes like this.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:09 24/08/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    It's like they are loading these chairs like Shotgun Shells.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:49 24/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    If you make a gas cylinder that explodes with rapid pressure/temperature changes, together with a chair that compresses gas when someone sits on it.

    compression -> Rapid pressure/temperature changes.

    So yeah, basically a shotgun shell. And you are the striking pin.






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