creepy-otaku-handshakers-1.jpg

The creepiness of AKB48 fans appears to be too much even for the long-suffering AKB48 members themselves, amidst reports that one of the poor maidens suffered a handshake so suspicious she had to run off and scrub the soiled extremity as soon as she could.

According to one of the assistants working at the events, the strain of choosing to shake hands with their depraved fans with only bags of money to console themselves with has taken its toll on these fragile little flowers:

“Of course, most of the fans are normal and encourage them, but some take haughty attitudes and try to treat the girls at the events like their girlfriends.

At a recent handshaking event I came across one of these poor girls after she had met a particularly creepy fan who had rushed into a backyard as soon as her break came, and was frantically scrubbing her hands with a demonic expression on her face.”

There is sadly not too much doubt over the kind of experience which prompted this otherwise grossly disrespectful concern with personal hygiene.


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    Comment by Anonymous
    03:26 19/07/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Are you really implying the girls see any of the money? It's all pocketed by the company while the girls live lives completely at their whim, they dictate what they wear, where they live and what they eat.
    This is why AKB48 has old hags as members, they know if they leave they'll be in poverty and end up doing AV.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:31 19/07/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    At least doing AV would be less degradating...

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:30 05/08/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Have you seen japanese porn?

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:18 19/07/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    The lesser known ones when they become old hags may very well go into AV. Let's all celebrate.

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    05:43 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wasn't there already one who went to AV as 'promised' or something...? It's really to the point that I kind of feel dirty if they go into that. Like the final scenes of Requiem For a Dream or something.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:18 19/07/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    yes because 20-something girls are old hags, you guys are going to die alone

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:31 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    confirmed for bitter old hag

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:18 26/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I love doing Alterac Valley :D

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:40 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    after reading the last sentence.. i think more of them should leave AKB48

    Avatar of Kashiwazaki "Niku" Sena
    01:56 19/07/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    "frantically scrubbing her hands with a demonic expression on her face"

    I lol'd.

    Avatar of renstalon
    Comment by renstalon
    03:04 19/07/2012 # ! Good (+0.4)

    鬼の形相 (oni no keisou) is the original Japanese for "demonic expression" and has been used in the Japanese translation of one of Arthur Conan Doyle's Books.

    It was a translation of "A face... marked with every evil passion."

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:30 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I think it means something more along the lines of 'with great vigour, as if possessed by a demon'

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:12 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    what a coincidence, I'm sure that fan did something "with great vigour, as if possessed by a demon" before he shook her hand.

    Avatar of Myballz
    Comment by Myballz
    22:24 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Angry expression

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:13 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    鬼の形相 is pronounced as "oni no GYOsou"

    just to make sure for Japanese learners.

    Avatar of Erranty
    Comment by Erranty
    03:20 19/07/2012 # ! Good (+0.4)

    That phrase reminded me of Toradora!
    http://chan.sankakustatic.com/data/79/7b/797badf686746e9428219bf297c2ebad.jpg

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:35 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Makes me picture a face that's similar to Akuma's.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:54 20/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    anyone would make a face like akuma's after receiving the from a fans "raging deamon"

    Avatar of Shima-kun989
    Comment by Shima-kun989
    05:54 21/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    OHKO, always.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:10 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It looks like to me they want ripe there arms off.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:23 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    You mean "rip their arms off," right?

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:23 19/07/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    ripe and rip are 2 different words, it's not being a grammar nazi, it's not being a fucking idiot

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:50 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    No Nazi.
    It's funny how people try to defend being below average.
    It's like they're proud to look stupid and undereducated.
    I understand that not everyone speaks/writes English, but with online resources (spell check, dictionaries) it's just lazy not to try and improve yourself.
    English is my 2nd language, I get embarrassed when someone points out a spelling/grammatical error, but I'm not too proud to learn from it.
    English is a difficult language.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:14 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    12:50

    Learn something other than proper chinglish for once.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:38 20/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    CHILDREN PWEASE!

    Remembar to WASH your hands after every-shake! :D

    I hear the semon cakes on REAL good!

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:56 20/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Amazing how no one considers the fact that other countries also visit sancom. Variations of espanish are used in latin america too, and conversion into English and the opposite is sometimes meaningless. I know that is not an excuse for bad writing English, but it sucks to be considered unlettered here, when you have no guilt :P
    Ps the photo of the girls are epic auhuahauh

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:23 20/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    12:50 English is not a hard language, in fact, it's one of the easiest ones. Maybe some people dont write some sentences well, but the idea keeps being clear.

    Try learning spanish, they have a grammar rule for everything. Also there are two variations, iberic spanish and latin spanish, wich changes from place to place.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:58 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    To be fair, a spellchecker would not have caught this.. ripe is spelled correctly, it's just the wrong word.

    What we need is a context checker, so that we can be certain the right word is being used in the proper context.

    Also, a spelling nazi is one who berates somebody's 'stupidity' for making a typographical error. This person didn't, he just asked if he meant 'rip'.

    You know who else likes to hyperbolically call people nazis? Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh.. you really want to be associated with those two?

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    05:41 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    And once again, the people who use that phrase prove that they're not intelligent enough to even know what it means.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:39 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    More like CANNOT UNDERSTAND SHIT CAPTAIN

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:24 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    agree with nazi, burn the jews

    Comment by Anonymous

    Grammar Nazi detected

    Comment by Anonymous

    Grammar Douchebag detected

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:17 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Whats wrong with a little protein gift from your fans?

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:19 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It could make you pregnant, fool.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:31 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Shows what you know. Even looking at a girl gets her pregnant.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:48 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    So you are saying she then masturbated her "soiled" hand to get preggers? Yes, still a virgin?

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:36 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Why wouldn't you want a creepy otaku as the farther of your baby?

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:39 20/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Gimme baby oh oh bad boy!

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:28 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Silly newfags, everyone knows they only get preggers after audibly saying "but I'll get pregnant".

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:00 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    No, in Japan, looking at a girl gets you *arrested*.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:46 20/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Yeah exactly.

    Those ungrateful bitches....washing their hand after I shake theirs.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:40 20/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    How about I wash your face wit my 3-week shower-skipping ASS?

    I made sure to eat plenty of beans just for you!

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:59 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    XDD Artefact is a genius translating

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:19 19/07/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Creepy Japotaku uses Handshake.
    It's super effective!
    AKB takes 48 points of damage.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:04 19/07/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    AKB uses frantic hand wash
    It does nothing!

    Avatar of Ishmon16
    Comment by Ishmon16
    08:10 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    AKB uses Hand Sanitizer
    Scars don't Heal!

    Comment by Anonymous

    Esuna y u no working

    Comment by Anonymous

    more like used splash haha

    Avatar of kazaza2
    Comment by kazaza2
    07:25 19/07/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    Why not just eliminate the handshake for a traditional Japanese bow. Problem would be immediately solved.

    Either that or give the security personnel tasers.
    Seeing one of those dickheads getting out of line and then flopping around on the floor would be worth the price of admission alone

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:19 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    hahahahahaha
    Everything gets better with tasers

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:34 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Remove the handshake? How they will continue to elude the suck...? (ops fans) AKB48 gains precisely this absurd scheme and the girls are accomplices (innocent or not do anyway) Many say it is for support, but what about the guy depleted the economy of the family?

    Avatar of Shima-kun989
    Comment by Shima-kun989
    11:52 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I have sweaty palm syndrome, my solution,
    Fist Pound, cool and quick.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:30 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    but then they'd sell tens of thousands of CDs less, per release.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:56 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I'm guessing part of the appeal of those groups with their core target demographics comes from being able to touch them even if it's just a handshake.






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