“4 Fashion Failings That Will Keep You Single For Life”

otaku-pair.jpg

A female fashion expert has been sharing her sage insights into the “painful” fashion failings most likely to condemn any man to perpetual bachelorhood, and as is the way with such things, otaku fashion comes in for the obligatory drubbing.

The list, apparently written from the perspective of a desperate 30-something spinster prepared to marry a man on the basis of the quality of his suit:

1. Men who wear clothes which don’t fit their frame
“They don’t even try them on, they just decide they are an M or L and buy some clothes. And it’s bad to just plump for LL just because someone says you are fat.”

2. He is too concerned about looking cool and ends up wearing clothes which don’t suit him
“He has an image of guys he thinks are popular, so he just puts on all the stuff he sees in shops and magazines!”

3. He dresses in classic otaku style
“A rucksack and a pouch round his waist may be an unavoidable manifestation of his true self, but at least try to make a reasonable first impression. For marriage interviews or parties, proper attire is especially essential.”

4. His entire ensemble is Uniqlo
Uniqlo may be decent enough quality, and even trendy in some cases, but dressing head to foot in Uniqlo is no good at all.

The colossal opprobrium attached to rucksacks is of course nothing new and now seems to be part of the classic otaku stereotype.

However, it probably goes without saying that wearing a pink Precure T-shirt is the ultimate faux pas even for otaku, not that such cases are in much danger of meeting anyone in the first place.

Online there is a certain amount of predictable resentment from what is presumably the “fat wannabe Uniqlo otaku” demographic, who certainly seem defensive of their Uniqlo ensembles…


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    Avatar of Kaze
    Comment by Kaze
    05:47 18/07/2012 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    So in the eyes of this "fashion expert", you're not cool if you don't dress cool. If you try wearing cool clothes, then you're not cool.

    That's REALLY informative >_>

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:33 18/07/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    so basically, these 4 points of fashion can be summed up as this: don't be ugly and have lots of money.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:57 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    There is no male so ugly that no matter how much money he will never be atractive for women.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:44 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Reminds me of the cripple dude in Shallow Hal, where the gold digging skank suddenly became 'available' after he made his millions.

    /women are all whores

    Avatar of Shima-kun989
    Comment by Shima-kun989
    12:48 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    technically, wouldn't we throw the same things at women?
    or do you guys like the poor fuglies?

    Avatar of Solace
    Comment by Solace
    12:22 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    In Japan, money is all that matters to women.
    If you're ugly, they'll just divorce you and take half of your shit.
    To all the weeaboos out there: Japan is great. Just don't get yourself involved with women there.
    Cause you'll get arrested for even breathing the same air as them.

    Avatar of cats2
    Comment by cats2
    08:35 18/07/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    Some of the shit Japanese females wear is downright laugh out loud..

    Hard to take this seriously..

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:05 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    bitches & whores

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:34 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    I don't see the conflict.

    Advice 2 is "avoid tunnel vision trying too hard to look cool, don't forget to find stuff that fits you well too". That's probably like don't try to look like a gangsta or a guido if you are not one.

    Advice 3 is " don't wear weird stuff like otaku pouches". The old american equivalent would be the nerdy pens on the front pocket, today would be the childish ironic t shirts.

    Advice 4 is " don't go out wearing only Uniqlo stuff". Probably applies to any brand, don't look like you only shop at one place.

    Avatar of kumesana
    Comment by kumesana
    07:30 18/07/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    I have my doubts that guys, in general, would bother shopping for clothes in more than one place. The cool and the uncool alike.

    This argument is invalid. It's only theoritical.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:15 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    The truely cool people dont give a shit about brand.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:47 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Hell, I don't even know where half my clothes came from cos its all second hand lol.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:07 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    But I get bonus defence for wearing the same brand...

    Avatar of david
    Comment by david
    05:01 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I always buy my clothes online in 1 shop... they have ALL dumb brands and its comfortable to not have to go in some stores in the city.

    So, i dont understand why people would wear just 1 brand..

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:02 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I'm the same way. I probably at most shop at 3 different stores because for me, my style and the stores I shop at pretty much look the same to me. But No.4 isn't really that bad. If you are decent-looking guy in your getup, she'd be willing to change where you shop anyway.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:45 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Cool people know not to wear a single brand. My sister tries to hammer that lesson in every time I dress up to leave the house

    TxT

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:10 20/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I think the US equivalent to #3 would be "don't wear fanny packs".

    I really have to agree with #2 though, it just looks stupid, gross in some cases, to wear cloths that aren't obviously not the right size for you. Though I suspect that one was posed as even the slightest wrong size given how ridiculously picky women can be.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:07 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.3)

    It's the usual fashion hypocrisy.

    "Hot" males can can wear large glasses and enjoy nerd culture openly, but if an average-to-ugly guy enjoys the same things, they are an outcast.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:12 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Fuck clothes. I walk out of the house naked and start jerking off at any pretty gal I see. Like a BAWS

    Comment by Anonymous

    that's because they happen to be ugly and just don't look good in it. That said, I find people who dress like 'geeks' to be supremely pretentious.
    You can still be not good looking and have a fashion sense, though.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:33 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    meh women.. thats why i rather just be single.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:02 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    You can dress well without trying to imitate movie stars and anime characters. That's the gist of t.

    Avatar of Shima-kun989
    Comment by Shima-kun989
    05:34 21/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    if i shave and put on glasses, i look like shiki tohno, is THAT cosplay?

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:22 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Basically the rule is to:

    1. be fit and attractive

    2. don't be unfit and unattractive

    Quite simple actually

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:12 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Reminds me of this public service announcement:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBVuAGFcGKY

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:03 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Thanks! I loled!

    Avatar of Folowne
    Comment by Folowne
    09:45 18/07/2012 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    What are women again?

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:38 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.3)

    What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk… Have at you!

    Avatar of Jonas Hii
    Comment by Jonas Hii
    00:42 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    some people dont get castlevania reference dude

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:58 20/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    How is babby formed?

    How gurl get pragnent?

    Avatar of Mogster
    Comment by Mogster
    03:03 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Everyone knows women are made from sand!

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:09 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Some people need to play more video games.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:11 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    That line only works agains vampire slayer like Richter Belmont

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:54 18/07/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    the concept of fashion is a combination of everything wrong in this world. It's evil I tell ya

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:33 20/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Of course, the rules of fashion change every few years, to whatever some fashion designer can convince some celebrity to wear. Next year, I predict otaku style clothes will be the 'in' thing in Japan. And rucksacks. Rucksacks everywhere.

    Avatar of kazaza2
    Comment by kazaza2
    07:25 18/07/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    Dress for comfort. The rest is pretentious bullshit.
    Screw her.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:14 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    I feel most comfortable being naked.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:06 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    same, I enjoy having my balls breathe naturally and my cock flop in every direction.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:12 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Dress for comfort, and dress nicely, but not to the point of pretentiousness. It's actually quite simple to fit both categories at the same time.

    Avatar of Shima-kun989
    Comment by Shima-kun989
    07:26 20/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    wearing silk shirts and satin pants is like getting a handjob every time you sit down, lol.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:15 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    exactly. For example when i go to the movies, some of the clothing i see girls wear just make me facepalm but if its comfortable for them then Meh, but they obviously worn the clothes cause "im going out so i have to dress to look good" instead of feeling comfortable sitting in a chair for 2hrs.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:34 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    i love to sleep.. naked

    Comment by Anonymous

    when was the last time you interacted with another breathing person? Take a fucking shower.

    Comment by Anonymous

    lol, you mean, "unable to get a chance to screw her"

    Avatar of PirateKing
    Comment by PirateKing
    01:37 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Dude, women can be rented. So why give a fuck what they think?

    I make 20K $ a month, they have to dress up to impress *ME* !

    :-)

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:31 18/07/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    Rucksacks are awesome, fuck these women.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:46 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    These women obviously never have to carry things around. Rucksacks are the most convenient way of carrying stuff around. I carry one while shopping, and if the stuff fits in it, I dump it in leaving my hands free to buy more.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:53 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Women have handbags, ever heard of them? :P

    Avatar of kamiru
    Comment by kamiru
    13:01 18/07/2012 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    and if a guy carry a handbag he's gay

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:57 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    women have men [to carry everything]. they know nothing more than the displeasure of lugging around 2-3pounds of shit.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:18 20/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    as long as it was a satin bra ( faps )

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:41 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    15:59 never watch Seinfeld, huh?

    youtube.com/watch?v=wfONNfAjyrc

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:59 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    @13:01 handbags are designed for women, of course it would look gay. Could a guy wear bra and doesn't look like gay?

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:23 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Actually, you WON'T be fucking them, that is the point.

    Pants have pockets.

    Of course, when shopping at a convention, you need those things. :)

    Comment by Anonymous
    Comment by Anonymous
    11:27 18/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's like they haven't gone to college. I use a rucksack with all the damn books and for my laptop.

    Avatar of Mogster
    Comment by Mogster
    03:05 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    What exactly is a rucksack? Nobody uses the word here in America...

    Avatar of คภєк๏
    Comment by คภєк๏
    03:13 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Except for the people who do.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:48 19/07/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Step one: Imagine a backpack.
    Step two: add an otaku.
    AND you're done. Now you have a rucksack.







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