Ishihara in the US: “I’m Buying the Senkaku Islands!”

  • Author: Artefact
  • Categories: Uncategorized
  • Date: Apr 17, 2012 09:37 JST

ishihara-in-washington.jpg

Tokyo governor Shintaro Ishihara has announced on a visit to the USA that he is negotiating for Tokyo to buy the Senkaku Islands, currently the subject of Chinese claims.

In a recent press conference given in Washington, he announced that he is negotiating with the private owner of the islands with a view to acquiring the isles for Tokyo.

The likely effect of an ultra-rightist Japanese politician buying the islands on China is evidently not lost on him:

“Whichever country we may annoy, this is so the Japanese can protect Japan’s territory.”

He says he will “likely purchase the entire archipelago” and reports that the existing landowner “is basically in agreement – our agents are negotiating.”

Although the Senkaku Islands lie within Okinawa prefecture far away from Tokyo, the idea of Tokyo possessing islands thousands of kilometres away is not without precedent – the Izu and Ogasawara Islands extend almost 2,000km into the Pacific and are governed from Shinjuku as part of the Tokyo metropolitan government despite having a population in the low tens of thousands.

The press conference itself was hosted by the Heritage Foundation, a prominent US conservative think tank, and saw Ishihara as guest of honour to discuss “The U.S.-Japan Alliance and the Debate Over Japan’s Role in Asia,” as part of their “American Leadership Initiative” – unsubtle code for better using Japan to help contain Chinese expansionism.

What the citizens of Tokyo think of their mayor using civic funds in order to provoke the Chinese and engage in nationalist grandstanding is not clear, but given that they have repeatedly re-elected him for doing just this, it seems likely they approve.

Predictably, the almost exclusively “net-uyo” patter which dominates the likes of 2ch and Twitter was well in evidence:

“Nice one, keep at it!”

“Next buy up Takeshima!”

“As expected of Ishihara, he’s a master at pissing everybody off.”

“I support you!”

“So who the hell owns them at the moment anyway?”

“They are apparently owned by a Fukuoka businessman.”

“Ishihara is a true patriot! Hashimoto cannot compare!”

“Why does this idiot have to drag Tokyo into his crusade against China…”

“Hurry up and die you old fool. If you want to buy them, use your own damn money and not so much as a yen of our taxes!”

“Even if Tokyo buys them, they don’t become part of Tokyo? It would just be land in Okinawa prefecture which is owned by Tokyo’s government.”

“Seeing him speak in public I get a bit worried as he looks as if he is suffering from dementia…”

“Is there some significance to the fact he said this in Washington? Like, he has their support?”

“Beautiful!”

“He’s so clever to announce it in the US too!”

“Superb! Please Ishihara, spend my tax money any way you see fit!”

“Anyone criticising this is a Chinese stooge.”

“Please Ishihara, become prime minister!”


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    174 Comments
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    Comment by Anonymous
    10:36 17/04/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Actually, he's making the Japanese tax-payer buy those propaganda islands..so...yeah. Japanese are real suckers for those nationalistic scarecrows.

    Just wait after his 13th reelection when he promises the re-annexation of Korean soil. Just for shits and giggles. And another guaranteed reelection of course.

    Avatar of Ihmhi
    Comment by Ihmhi
    15:28 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wait for the inevitable construction of JSDF bases to "defend Japanese territory". Tactically it'd make sense to put them there, but damn if it won't piss all of their neighbors off.

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:12 18/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Buying out the argument ^^
    Louisiana purchase xd

    Comment by Dark Mage
    08:21 31/07/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    The Koreans are no longer helpless so that would probably end badly for him.

    Avatar of HKE
    Comment by HKE
    10:25 17/04/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    The only thing that gets in my mind is :

    "Looks like shit got real"

    and just like some said , ishihara should start a website named senkakucomplex.com keeping informed about his evil glorious and rightnous acts...... not

    2ch user:“Please Ishihara, become prime minister!”

    fuck no! , i wonder how bad Japan will become if that happen

    Avatar of Pyrolight
    Comment by Pyrolight
    10:45 17/04/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    It would give Artefact a fuck ton of News to report :)

    Comment by soyokaze
    10:23 17/04/2012 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    Ishihara should start a weblog. I know the best name for it:

    http://www.senkakucomplex.com

    Avatar of TC-man
    Comment by TC-man
    06:01 18/04/2012 # ! Neutral (-0.2)

    I don't but it should be called "Ishihara-is-the biggest-troll.jp".

    Comment by Anonymous

    I knew this joke was coming... and it was still funny. Bravo sir

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:35 17/04/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Sacrificing freedom of expression so some lunatic can buy an island for Japan? I'm sorry, that's too much even for 10 islands.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:35 17/04/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    wait, so he took a visit to the US and didn't get killed by one of my people?

    America, what the fuck are you thinking?

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:34 17/04/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    I apologize profusely. Next time he's coming to Texas let me know, I'll arrange a little field trip for him south of the border. I wonder if the vigilantes patrolling the border can tell a Jap from a Beaner? I doubt it. #dontmesswithtexas

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:02 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I think it's hilarious that the popular saying "Don't mess with Texas" was originally an anti-littering campaign..

    Avatar of Kiljoy616
    Comment by Kiljoy616
    12:46 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (-0.2)

    jaja like you could even figure out where the State of Texas is.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:11 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    No otaku assassinated his ass? WTF

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:36 19/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Had I known he was in town I would have off'd him

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:46 18/04/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    by US standards hes conservative, probably why he was a "guest of honor"

    conservatives run this shit

    Comment by Dark Mage
    08:21 31/07/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Most Americans don't even know who he is.

    Avatar of Rene
    Comment by Rene
    13:00 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    My 96 was in the shop.

    And I wasn't in Washington.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:55 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    If I would've known...if only I'd have known...

    Avatar of Myriados
    Comment by Myriados
    16:04 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    We really outta be keeping tabs on his movement...

    Comment by Anonymous

    Because your people are pussies that's why ^^

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:41 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    If by "pussies" you mean they respect the laws of their own country, then yes.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:13 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Americans don't have courage for that! Sendo Ishihara to Syria!

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:28 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Calm down guys, save your anger for Ishihara.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:56 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I think he was talking about overseas chinese you stupid fucker.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:00 17/04/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    FUCK THIS SATANIC SHIT CALLED ISHIHARA. ROT IN HELL, YOU OLD FART!!!

    Avatar of Rene
    Comment by Rene
    13:00 17/04/2012 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    Hell doesn't want him.

    Trust me.

    Avatar of Anonymous RAW GM
    Comment by Anonymous RAW GM
    13:08 17/04/2012 # ! Good (+0.4)

    I thought you work for him.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:13 17/04/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    ugh... the "heritage foundation"... more like the heretic foundation, damn righties, I guess it's one and the same with japan righties as well, except they say they want foreigners our, (also righties here want immigrants out, their all scared that eventually there will be more people of recent foreign origin than people who have been here for generations, which themselves were all immagrants...) yet their ultra conservative rape novelist governor comes and talks here?

    world is going downhill

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:12 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Ishihara + The U.S = Two bad things.

    Comment by Dark Mage
    10:12 17/04/2012 # ! Good (+0.4)

    The islands themselves are not of much economic value.
    What I believe the dispute is actually over is the fishing grounds around said islands.

    If you buy the islands you get control of any waters 12 nautical miles out and exclusive economic rights 200 nautical miles out.

    Why would this involve the US I don't know except for maybe trying to get them to send an aircraft carrier there as a scare tactic to the Chinese.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:00 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    And one the Chinese wouldn't have to be overly scared of. After all, they have an endless supply of cheap fish trawlers and human material manning them to ram into any US or other fleet occupying the area...

    Avatar of Kaarme
    Comment by Kaarme
    16:49 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    After the USS Cole incident, the Americans might disable or sink any dubiously approaching boat, rather than wait for a collision. Unlike the Japanese, the US navy has a backbone.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:46 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Good luck ramming into the thick armored destroyer hull. Tell me how it went after you are done sinking to the bottom of the sea.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:46 18/04/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I see you have not yet grasped the concept of quantity over quality. They might not destroy the armor, but one hundred fish trawlers massing in on a destroyer from one side is sure to capsize it anyway.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:04 18/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    How many 200~300ft-ish incoming targets can they destroy before they're too close for any countermeasure? 10? 20? 50? It doesn't matter in the face of China's vast fishing fleets.

    As you might have guessed by now, my initial comment was meant as a joke. I can't believe it devolved into this conversation.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:01 18/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    @08:04

    (am a different anon from the one you were arguing with, but have to put my 2 cents in.)

    Putting aside that you were joking for a moment, it's not a tactic that could work in RL.

    Having two ships floating close to each other at the same pace, is already extremely difficult. But it's doable, as can be seen when ships are resupplied at open sea.

    But multiple ships beyond that?

    It vastly increases the chances of collision between the ships, you also have to take into account the ocean/sea currents.

    Plus there's the issue of the shells being fired by the destroyer causing a temporary disturbance in the current, thus further increasing the chances of collision (not fully sure that I'm explaining this part right, but don't know how to rephrase it.)

    Then there's the damage caused by the shells to the ships themselves can lead to a) explosions which would effect all the ships in the immediate area, b) can cause a ship to start sinking, which would cause the ships behind it to run into it, or to slam into it from the side, due to the above factors.

    Doing this sort of stuff with dinghies or zodiac boats is one this, due to their lack of mass. But fishing trawlers have a great deal of mass, and that effects how the water and the current effects will behave.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:33 18/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    And what's to stop the crew on the destroyer from blowing them to hell before they can move that many fishing boats?

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:49 18/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    @01:46
    I see you have not grasped the concept of multiplying by 0. It's ok, not everybody needs to understand 3rd grade math.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:53 18/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    @01:49
    Don't lecture me on mathematics if you're obviously too dump to realize that your analogy doesn't even make sense in this context. Apply sufficient force to the sides of a ship and it will capsize. Even more so if none of the energy is spent on deforming its armor.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:49 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Something tells me that wouldn't work

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:46 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    It works and they're actually doing it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:10 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Here's a link with some info:

    http://factsanddetails.com/japan.php?itemid=1789&catid=22&subcatid=149 [http://factsanddetails.com/japan.php?itemid=1789&catid=22&subcatid=149]

    Personally, I'd be cautious about "scaring" someone with their finger on the Nuke Button(TM).

    Think about it - what's scarier?

    (a) Meeting a thug in an alley who pulls a pistol on you and calmly says, "Wallet, watch, keys, turn out your pockets. Use your left hand, slowly. Now." or...

    (b) Meeting a drug-addict in an alley, who, with wide-open, crying eyes, a runny nose, a shaky voice and shaky hands, pulls a pistol on you, and says, "Gi-gi-gi-gimme the c-ca-ca-ca-cassshhhhh."

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:40 19/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Run away from the second. If the guy somehow absurdly manages to aim and hit you, your chances of dying from a shot are around 5% or lower. So I pick the first.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:00 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Weren't there considerable gas reserves found around them? That's why China even started to care in the first place, isn't it?

    Avatar of starsplash
    Comment by starsplash
    12:13 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    actually, isn't it said that there are large deposites of gas and oil there?

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:57 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Very large deposits nearby, and by owning the islands you have proxy ownership by a set distance of the sea-shelf to use any resources within range. The Chinese didn't want the islands until they found gas for this very reason.

    Avatar of Kiljoy616
    Comment by Kiljoy616
    12:49 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well we are winding down Iraq and maybe Afghanistan and our poor boys and girls are itching for something to shoot at. All right I am sure we can swing by and help poor little japan out with those pesky microscopic islands.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:08 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    I can't stand this bastard, but he's really amusing, and also one hell of a Troll.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:24 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    This guy is going to be assassinated by some Chinese agent one day a.k.a. "die by an unfortunate accident" >.>

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:48 17/04/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    you wish...you wish.






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