“The 9 Ways Girls Nail You as a Creepy Otaku”

i-am-not-an-otaku.jpg

An analysis of the 9 none-too-subtle signs by which women may identify any man as an otaku and therefore spare themselves the shame of interacting with him has predictably been proving incendiary online.

The reasons, based on “survey results”:

1. He was wearing an anime T-shirt or had anime goods about his person

“I feel pretty desperate when I see guys with anime characters on their T-shirts” – 20-something woman

“I imagine their rooms are covered in that moe anime stuff as well…” – 20-something woman

2. He has perfectly mastered the art of “ota-gei” [dancing and other antics carried out at concerts]

“I was so frightened when I saw this guy at karaoke with us had the moves to an anime song down pat!” – Teenage girl

3. He talked endlessly about the cuteness of some anime character or another

“I cannot recognise any creepy guy who goes on about the cuteness of an anime character as a real man.” – Teenage girl

4. When he proclaims some game character “his wife”

“He called a girl in the game ‘my wife’! Even for a cool guy that is not happening.” – 20-something woman

“It’s pretty creepy wondering about how he gets his rocks off if he has seriously fallen for a 2D girl!” – 30-something hag

5. He smiled broadly to himself whilst reading manga

“Guys who grin to themselves whilst reading some saucy moe-manga are just the worst! Like reading porno, they shouldn’t look at that stuff in public.” – Teenage girl

“God, it is so gross when they read moe-manga and they look like they are getting turned on!” – 20-something woman

6. He used speech patterns from anime in his mail or speech, such as “-nari!” and “desu-zo!”

“When he starts using abnormal words like ‘de gozaimasu-zo,’ ‘-narii’ and ‘da-nyaa,’ you can’t help but think he is ota.” – 20-something woman

7. He used unnatural words to represent sounds in conversation, such as “ho-e˜”

“He was hot, but when he started saying ‘mogyu-mogyu’ whilst eating I just lost all interest in him.” – Teenage girl

“Seriously, I thought he just reeked of otaku when he said ‘fumu-fumu’ on the phone!” – 30-something hag

8. When he wants you to call him by some weird nickname or something

“Jeez, I was grossed out by last boyfriend wanting me to call him ‘****-pyon’ and ‘goshujin-sama’…” – 20-something woman

9. When he started singing an anime song at karaoke

“I was a bit worried when he started singing in a falsetto voice during an anisong at karaoke…” – 20-something woman

Irrespective of its accuracy, this is proving controversial amongst creepy otaku or those who feel they may be unfairly branded such:

“Anime otaku are done for!”

“I reject living my life just to curry favour with women!”

“Damn, when I am stood in the convenience store reading Gintama I occasionally smile…”

“I don’t fulfil a single point, but I still reek of being an otaku.”

“Most of these points are a bit beyond just being ‘otaku-ish,’ aren’t they?”

“If you keep your mouth shut they’ll still mark you as a creepy for not talking much.”

“Can’t we even laugh at a gag manga now?”


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    214 Comments
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    Comment by Anonymous
    00:37 16/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.9)

    Reading a gag manga and grin at it makes you an otaku...

    Having anime goods means you're an otaku...

    Singing anime theme song = otaku ? The songs are also sung and composed by people who might or might not be OTAKU

    I rather be single than to not be myself.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:11 16/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    I wonder: will I be branded creepy kimo-ota if I put my classically-trained bariton voice to good use singing Yoko Kanno's great rendition of Ave Maria from the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack? By these women's logic, I would be a creep even though I just made a performance that would earn me standing ovations in the world's opera houses... there is music in anime way above all the shallow, primitive shit in mainstream radio (yes, that applies to Japanese chart / AC music too). Just how incredibly shallow and hypocritical can you get...

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:41 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    teenager & woman where talking about "moe" manga

    Avatar of Shippoyasha
    Comment by Shippoyasha
    17:35 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    And of course, it's only just cute when all the gals go around parading around Fujoshi-isms. Because guys are all creepy and girls are all angels, am I rite? And in this article, girls apparently all have no sense of humor and guys are creepy as default... :sigh:..

    Both sides of the stereotypes really annoys me.

    Avatar of Ken Masters
    Comment by Ken Masters
    14:09 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    This. We can make a counter-list where the number one reason to not date these bitches would be: "1. She's sooooo fucking picky, bitching about everything I do, I like and I am."

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:07 17/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    As a girl, I usually read manga or novel on the train. And well, grinning was enough to creep people out. I don't see what part of it makes you an otaku than simply "weird" or "creepy" argh...

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:53 17/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    can we meet? i need a girl that knows the goods of manga (and someone i could borrow some mangas from too) =D

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:11 17/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    lol desperation.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:34 20/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    desperation is the human condition. if you deny it, you're a fool. and also a liar.

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:19 15/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.9)

    is always better for girls to go for more normal types, rather than otaku creeps.
    amongst their usual choices are\

    Alcoholics,
    Drug addicts
    cheaters
    Criminals
    women beaters
    all of the above.

    those are always their choices even above other non otaku guys, but that fail to have one of this virtues.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:11 16/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.5)

    you missed date rapists.

    a good number of these hoes actually has rape fantasies and want to be raped for some odd reason. The problem is you don't know if they "deem you worthy". If you don't want to be arrested or simply find rape distasteful, the odds are they are going to be nailed by some douchebag who just don't care. The screwed up part is that they then come to you expecting help clean up the emotional mess and are genuinely surprised when you refuse to bother with them because they are insane.

    Comment by Kudi
    01:18 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (-0.1)

    "a good number of these hoes actually has rape fantasies"

    THAT'S A LIE!

    *All* women have rape fantasies. Of course, they'll deny it because it's no fun if the man knows she's enjoying it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:38 19/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    "*All* women have rape fantasies"

    Definitely not true. Sure, some of them do, in a large part because society *strongly* discourages them from making the first move or having casual sex, so sometimes it seems like the only reasonable way to just get laid is to be raped. However, not all women have rape fantasies, and not all of those who do want it to happen - because being raped really fucks you up, and in a not even close to good way. Regardless of if you're a man or a woman.

    It's not unheard of for someone to later fall in love with their rapist either, and there's all sorts of messed up psychological issues that go into that (including the fact that they were fucked up by the rape itself) but that still doesn't mean they originally wanted it.

    Avatar of Uncommon0taku
    Comment by Uncommon0taku
    23:46 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    wut is missing is "does not have a sexy trim waistline" bc its a well known fact that creepy otaku don't workout.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:11 23/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Women like to get raped whether they are aware of it or not. Its the way evolution works. the next generation isn't born of women's rights and romance, its born of might makes right, its born of the ALPHA-MALE (or a pretender).

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:03 17/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    it'll change with time. just like in the 1980's no one really liked a girl with a big ass, now we can't get enough. soon otaku will be an acceptable niche for women.

    -thebeast

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:57 18/01/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Shut the fuck up, you poor naive bastard. ~ Sincerely every self respecting woman you'll never touch in your life.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:52 16/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Wait a second.

    Are Western Teenage girls otaku?

    They have their walls covered with posters of their idol (Justin Beiber, Miley Cyrus etc).

    They will often see a movie more than once if it has their favourite actor (Twilight Movie, Harry Potter)

    They smile whilst reading books (Twilight yet again)

    Dear god I think I'm on to something here. Quick everybody, we need to create trains just for men and have Justin Beiber do handshaking booths.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:02 16/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    it depends on a lot how you use the words.....

    there is no negative form of fandom in the western world.

    even if you try to use the fanboism or fangirlism against them ... they would just came back at you when they gathered o.o

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:41 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Oh yes, yes there is a negative form of fandom in the western world. "Twilight fans" "Harry Potter fans" "Justin Bieber fans" "Tokyo Hotel fans", those are all negative forms. And yes, yes, we hate them. We hate them with every cell of ours bodies.
    Every person in the world that goes nuts while seeing their idol is just as retarded as them. I mean, just get a life, stop living through the image of some random people singing/writing shit.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:50 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wrong. Completely.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:53 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Right, Absoulutely.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:07 17/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Moreover, I don't know about other countries, but in France we have lots of fangirls that love Japan and just go crazy when they see an asian guy. Yup, "asian" guys, because they can't tell the difference between japanese, chinese, and korean. This just makes me laugh so much...they go around, saying "kawai" "sugoi", reading manga and dressing like goths. I just lose faith in humanity everytime I see one.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:03 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Yeah it seems like they are if you put it that way. I mean don't we look at those Twilight fans like they'e freaks of nature?

    Avatar of kajunbowser
    Comment by kajunbowser
    08:47 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    There are otaku (read: fanboys/girls) for damn near everything. We just associate it with anime/manga/J-idols/galge/[other japanese culture things].

    Avatar of minirop
    Comment by minirop
    21:53 15/02/2012 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    "5. He smiled broadly to himself whilst reading manga"
    don't girls do the same while reading "normal" books ? (or their stupid gossip mag)

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:17 15/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    And what about funny manga whose sole purpose is to make you laugh?

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:22 15/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Yeah, something like Gintama.

    If I see someone reading Gintama without a smile, I'll have to assume that he's an illiterate and just pretending to be reading.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:54 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    You're a funny guy, Zura!

    If people don't smile or laugh while reading Gintama, then clearly they have no sense of humor.

    Avatar of Katsura
    Comment by Katsura
    09:16 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Yes. Like Gintama!

    Double standards are the bane of people today! It's silly and hypocritical.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:09 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It looks like the girls are specifying "moe-manga". So apparently if you smile in public while reading manga with nothing but moe characters you are a creeper >.>

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:27 16/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Even in a manga filled with moe characters there's always some story in them that can make a person smile. A manga with no story is known as an artbook.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:56 16/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.6)

    your on sankaku and u exspect anyone here not to be a boarderline pedo and a creeper?:3

    Avatar of Uncommon0taku
    Comment by Uncommon0taku
    04:25 16/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Its pretty obvious for anyone who sees my car, I have an orange SanCom sticker on it.
    The triangle thingie.

    ^_^

    As well as the stickers on the side.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:20 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    If you read moe manga at all you're probably a creeper and boarder line pedo.

    Avatar of Artist Rising
    Comment by Artist Rising
    03:31 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Pedos:

    Pros - gave birth to lolis(manga/anime-wise)

    Cons - they like 3d RL kiddos(yuck)

    ...Now to relax with some hardcore loli anime = Nisemonogatari(I think I misspelled it)

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:15 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I knew a bitch in highschool years ago who would sit in her desk and read "romance" novels all day... and when she did, she'd start gasping, moaning and shifting around in her seat. She was ugly as hell too, so everyone would watch in abject horror.

    If she were hot, people probably would have reacted much differently.

    I wonder how these skanks would react if it were some fuckhot celebrity grinning at a gag manga. I can assure you it wouldn't be like this.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:37 20/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    i too often suffer fictional events that didn't occur in reality

    Avatar of Shizu's Waki Obsessor: MaidNiac
    22:29 15/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    Can't help but seriously sensing the strong level of double standard there. I mean, how is smiling while reading manga about adorable girls doing cute and funny stuff different with people smiling and even loudly laughing while watching videoclips of cute cats and dogs doing silly stuff on Youtube? I don't see the latter one getting stamped as Bestially Fetishist.

    Avatar of aaa
    Comment by aaa
    02:27 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    And those Twilight stuff, no?

    Avatar of ArrowInTheKnee
    Comment by ArrowInTheKnee
    00:08 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (-0.1)

    4. When he proclaims some game character “his wife”

    “He called a girl in the game ‘my wife’! Even for a cool guy that is not happening.” – 20-something woman

    “It’s pretty creepy wondering about how he gets his rocks off if he has seriously fallen for a 2D girl!” – 30-something hag

    These 3D pigs will never be able to understand me or surpassed my waifu for eternity

    Avatar of KuBaKe
    Comment by KuBaKe
    22:13 15/02/2012 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    what happen if I put on my powerpuff girls t-shirt? Am I considered some kind of creepy american otaku?
    And I want to called professor.

    Avatar of Shizu's Waki Obsessor: MaidNiac
    22:33 15/02/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Careful, people may mistake you as Lenny Baxter..

    Comment by Char
    01:28 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Now that's a good one.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:57 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    -30 something hag

    trololol

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:02 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    10. When were about to get it on he suddenly giggles kishishishi.. fufufufufu

    Avatar of Nincom
    Comment by Nincom
    01:13 16/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    "Guys who grin to themselves whilst reading some saucy moe-manga are just the worst!"
    What the fuck is wrong with this woman?! Probably she has no sense of humor cause she's satan...

    Avatar of fxc2
    Comment by fxc2
    21:59 15/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.7)

    How does a non-otaku recognise anime songs or rather how would one categorize one in Japan?

    Avatar of aaa
    Comment by aaa
    02:30 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    How do you think when you heard a song like this?

    "Yu~ri yu~ra ra ra ra yuruyuri"

    Avatar of Gitami
    Comment by Gitami
    14:06 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Jpop or Kpop.

    Remember that Korean gee gee gee song?

    Avatar of Uncommon0taku
    Comment by Uncommon0taku
    23:51 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    bc the lyrics are in moonspeak dumbass - I always get funny looks by neighbors stuck in trafic when playing ost's on my stereo.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:11 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    it's more about anime-style songs. you'd be fine with the average long running series openings as they are usually fairly standard songs but if you sing bright anime-pop the girls in your booth might retreat a little (hiku)

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    01:19 16/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Happy! Lucky! Dochi! Yes! Yes! Yes!

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:54 16/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Mostly everything composed with a synthetizer.

    Must be normal if you hum a song from let say FLOW even if it was in an anime

    Avatar of Cristal
    Comment by Cristal
    22:04 15/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Simple it was in an anime !







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