Chinese Rivers Prettier Than Ever


Chinese and indolent capitalists alike have been marvelling at the colourful state of the nation’s rivers, which have lately even managed “red as blood.”

Residents of a city in China’s Henan province recently found a river running through their city “running red as blood.”

The red waters flowed down from a culvert to the north, and residents reported nothing untoward the day before.

Even local environmental officials were surprised, and could only speculate that “upstream rainwater and sewage have mixed to cause the effect,” although they still have no idea what exactly caused the issue.

Online, there is some wonderment at the range of colours, and even textures, now visible in China’s waterways:


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    Avatar of The REAL Lamberto
    Comment by The REAL Lamberto
    23:00 15/12/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Wow! So many colorful (and possibly explosive) rivers.

    Avatar of AzureXuchilbara
    Comment by AzureXuchilbara
    03:49 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    [Chinese and indolent capitalists alike have been marvelling at the colourful state of the nation’s rivers, which have lately even managed “red as blood.”]

    And thus it was written that one of the signs of the 2013 Apocalypse will be rivers running red with blood...

    *eyes Recette and Tear*

    Capitalists pigs blood, to be precise...

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:33 16/12/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    you are aware that those rivers are owned by the government right? Its government incompetence at its finest

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:04 18/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    But is the river actually yellow?

    Avatar of Assassinister
    Comment by Assassinister
    05:52 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    There are 2 from China the top ten dirtiest river in the world.
    Songhua River and Yellow River in Lanzhou.


    Comment by Anonymous
    16:14 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    capitalist pigs? China is communist/socialist you retard! The river is government owned and not private property....fucking ignorant jackass...

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:00 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Yeah, right. It's ultra capitalist. China's plan to world domination is by money. None of these limiting environment rules etc. Just do do do with no worrying tomorrow and ruin the whole environment. And yes, they call themselfs communist, but anything communist about them is their totalitarian rule.

    Avatar of Assassinister
    Comment by Assassinister
    05:58 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (-0.2)

    How irony since they want to paint the world RED communist shit.

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    15:51 17/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    China and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Waters... that explode...

    ...I'd see that play.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:58 15/12/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    red water is to create the Philosopher's Stone

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    00:34 16/12/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Isn't that one made out of living people? And lots of them?

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:14 16/12/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    China is the most populous country. There's no need for them to worry about the shortage of "material"

    Avatar of Kridley
    Comment by Kridley
    18:37 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Why else do you think they implemented the "one child per family thing" thing?

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:00 19/12/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    *draws a big circle around South-East China*
    That sounds more plausible than it should...

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:29 17/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Thats alot of human sacrifices...

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:25 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Harry Potter and Ed-Elric:


    Avatar of
    22:55 15/12/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Right on time for the apocalypse.
    I'm glad you guys are with me.
    Here, at the end of all things.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:33 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's actually not until December next year that the apocalypse is allegedly going to happen, so you've still got some time

    Avatar of Miroku74
    Comment by Miroku74
    06:41 17/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Meaning fap while you got'em.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:36 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    China is the greatest threat to our planet currently.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:49 17/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Philosopher's Stone = real ARMAGEDDON!

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:55 15/12/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Rivers of blood?
    So when will the frogs start raining?

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:30 15/12/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    I guess the next will be locust,

    Avatar of Yoshii-kun
    Comment by Yoshii-kun
    01:27 16/12/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    "Every firstborn will die"
    is probably the final judgement and the end of the nation.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:43 16/12/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Interestingly, China's one-child policy had made most people abort their first children once they found out that it was a girl.

    Avatar of Tsuchiya Kouta
    Comment by Tsuchiya Kouta
    09:39 16/12/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Akihisa, It's not us who spill blood in the river, right ? We never go to China before, right ?

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:18 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Yes, if any country is going to be fucked by that, it's China.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:31 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Interestingly, China's one-child policy had made most people abort their first children once they found out that it was a girl.

    You forgot to mention that inheritance, by law, goes to the male/husband. That's why nobody wants to give birth to females.

    Avatar of Gitami
    Comment by Gitami
    09:59 17/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    "Every firstborn will die"
    is probably the final judgement and the end of the nation.

    No truer statement especially for China where they have a one child policy, if they haven't aborted/abandoned their firstborn.

    Avatar of Assassinister
    Comment by Assassinister
    05:45 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Ha! children will die while riding(school buses) or walking on street.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:09 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Generally it's every first born male... which would lead to an interesting culture, or an invasion.

    Avatar of Shaolan-kun
    Comment by Shaolan-kun
    03:06 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Considering their pollution, I fear that day is nigh...

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:41 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    if your firstborn was abandoned and u have another children does it still count as first?

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:25 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Explosive locust *

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:57 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    mutated frogs, mutant ninja frogs

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:46 19/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    There was an article about exploding frogs in Germany. I'm afraid to think how it would be in China. Is nuclear winter coming?

    Avatar of Vant
    Comment by Vant
    01:04 18/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    The Battletoads are coming!

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:48 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    There are no frogs to rain as they are all eaten.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:23 15/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    They already are, but the smog in Beijing is too thick to see them

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:42 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    from the immortal words of the aliens meme guy "ASIANS".

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:01 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Meh, Canary isles have red rivers every now and then. Sand from Sahara becomes airborn and later follows the rain to the surface, produces red rainwater.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:57 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    yeah, this isn't caused by something so normal.

    it's from all the fucked up chemicals they give to the farmers to use in their fields.

    remember the exploding watermelons?

    Avatar of Imyou
    Comment by Imyou
    04:41 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Frogs are extremely sensitive to pollution and endocrine disruptors... so I wonder if they still have them in most towns like this?

    Avatar of Kubo Toshimitsu
    Comment by Kubo Toshimitsu
    23:40 15/12/2011 # ! Neutral (-0.1)

    Er... didn't they popped out of everywhere rather than raining?
    So why are atheist people said that Bible is just a fairy tale?
    We have concrete proof here, river of blood is possible, lol.

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    00:33 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's probably because we know that you can't populate the earth by incest. We also know that only black people could populate the earth. It is possible for them to turn white, the other way around just doesn't work.

    Thus we conclude the bible must be a fairy tale.

    Avatar of Megidola
    Comment by Megidola
    04:34 16/12/2011 # ! Good (+0.7)

    A few parts of the Bible are mystical allegories (Revelations being the prime example), but the majority are not. And the mystical Gnostic texts never made it into the Bible.

    Some parts of the Bible advocate killing innocent people and taking their land, some parts advocate the death penalty for sexual "immorality", some parts advocate human sacrifice... and you're criticizing the few parts advocating non-violence!?

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:46 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Anon 00:57, so you are basically saying 90% of Christians don't even know wtf they are doing. I'm fine with this I guess.

    Avatar of Megidola
    Comment by Megidola
    02:03 16/12/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    00:57 is wrong though, the Bible was intended by the writers and compilers to be taken as divinely revealed truth, and was proclaimed as such by the Church.

    Of course, it's fine to use the Bible as a kind of self-help guide (as long as you cherry pick the good advice and ignore the shockingly awful advice), but that's not what the Bible was "meant to be".

    Anyway, why even make that comment in the first place if it's supposedly "unfitting for this site to discuss"?

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:38 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.3)

    Anyway believing in the bible is retarded in the first place...

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:59 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.3)

    90% of Christians DON'T know what they're doing. Instead of taking the bible for what it is, they come up with their own ideologies outside of the bible and teach their ideology to be the utmost truth and other Christian religions are doomed to hell.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:57 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    The Bible isn't meant to be read literally, yet all people do so as it is. That's unwise.

    The Bible isn't a story that wants to say "HEY, EVERYTHING WRITTEN HERE IS ALL TRUE AND LITERAL AND YOU MUST LISTEN". Only retards (which are the majority, including lots of priests) believe it to be so.

    The Bible is rather an un-literal collection of story meant for a kind of guide on achieving moral goodness and spiritual fullfillment, that's it and it's unfitting for this site to discuss, I believe

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:24 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Missing disclaimer page from the Bible (TM).

    This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of real person(s) dead or living is purely coincident.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:24 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    @Gr8Sk8r: You = Living proof that the only thing worse than incest is when the offspring gets internet access.

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    15:14 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Yeah.. you can't take the bible literally is exactly what makes it a fairy tale.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:55 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)


    Post ends with lol and has a smiley halfway through. Most likely intended as a joke.

    Clutching the security blanket pretty hard there.

    Avatar of Riiku
    Comment by Riiku
    03:25 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    May I too jump the bible-bashing wagon?

    Every book that tells you to stick your face out and receive all the beating and do nothing in return, is written for retards.

    Avatar of Shiroinoshishi
    Comment by Shiroinoshishi
    10:24 16/12/2011 # ! Neutral (-0.2)

    " can't populate the world by incest..."

    I feel the need to defend the bible and further confuse people:

    The bible never claimed Adam and Eve were the only people on the planet. In fact, when Cain (the older son) is exiled for killing his brother Abel (the younger son, and the only other child mentioned at this point) he goes to the land of Nod, and there he finds a WIFE who bears him a son, named Enoch.

    Obviously, there is a lot of discussion about the land of Nod, as it confuses the whole "Adam and Eve are the only people on the planet" idea that was going on before Nod is mentioned. Maybe Adam and Eve had already had *tons* of kids. Maybe God decided to make more people for genetic diversity. Maybe people evolved from apes and God "breathed the breath of life into" two of these newly evolved humans, giving them a spirit, or something else, but these "breathed into" humans can breed with the normal sort, so that's what Cain did. I've heard a a discussion on this, and those are some of the arguments I remember.

    And obviously, you have the "it's just a story" argument as well.
    (However, anon 00:57 -"The Bible isn't meant to be read literally, yet all people do so as it is. That's unwise." Have you actually read the bible at all?? I'll agree that this can be said for the creation story in Genesis, but after that, the old testament is mostly a historical record of the Jews. The New Testament is essentially a collection of letters written by 1st century christian leaders to encourage specific churches with their specific needs. Yes, Revelation probably isn't meant to be interpreted literally, but iirc, the intended readers then would have know that, as it was written in a style they would recognize, and know how to interpret it.)

    for those who care:
    Genesis 4:16-17

    For what it's worth, I'm of the opinion that it really doesn't matter what happened or how it happened, but God did it. For the rest, I'll be sure to ask God the next time I see him.

    Finally, please don't think I'm trying to be preachy... I just felt the need to clear up some things when it seems like both sides are just making stuff up...

    Now, stop bringing up the bible when you have no idea what you are talking about! I don't come to this site looking to discuss this kind of stuff.

    Comment by Anonymous

    Anon 00:57 makes a point, yet you guys all only vote up comments that has lame jokes containing the word "loli" or "China" and "exploding".

    "That's it and it's unfitting for this site to discuss"

    You guys exactly proved his points by voting him down. Congratulations, you immature bunch.

    Avatar of pantsu
    Comment by pantsu

    Living proof the only thing worse than atheists is Chinese atheists.

    Comment by Anonymous

    The Bible is a collection of mystical allegories.
    Most people will never even begin to understand them.

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