“Finally – You Can Lose Your Virginity To Your PC!”
- Author: Artefact
- Categories: Games, H, News
- Date: Dec 10, 2011 22:26 JST
- Tags: 3D Custom Girl, Dutch Wife, Onanism, Otaku, Ronery, Tech Arts 3D, Technology
Virginal onanists are hailing the advent of the USB Onacon as a major step forward, with at least one reviewer praising it as “like having sex” and others noting that this brings them tantalisingly close to finally being able to lose their virginity to their PCs…
The “USB Onacon,” detailed in a previous article:
The review (of sorts):
“I bought the USB Onahole… the box is huge!”
“We want to see inside!”
“What happened to him?”
“He died already?”
“Should we wait until he finishes his sage time?”
“Sorry guys, I was polishing up my magnum in the bath!”
“There’s a box inside the box, very classy!”
“Show us what’s inside that box!”
“Open it already!!!”
“Can you play it online yet?”
“I think a system where the onahole comes with an anal dildo and you can both use them together online, with the winner the one who lasts the longest, could really sell…”
“That sounds like paradise for the analists!”
“This technology is going to keep progressing and eventually we won’t need 3D women at all.”
“Ho, it comes with its own lotion too!”
“How I envy you.”
“Onacon-chan is surprisingly simple though.”
“Just how much tissue do you have in there?”
“This is the actual onahole. You have it symmetrically docked with onacon-chan. The shape is different from normal so it won’t fit any others.”
“The package says it is a perfect recreation of the feel of virgin vagina…”
“Vi-virgin, you say?”
“Looks too small.”
“Well, it’s a virgin so that can’t be helped!”
“The game finally installed.”
“Looks hard to wash though.”
“I ran the game, and a girl suddenly appeared before me!”
“Too many jaggies…”
“Now to make a character… there’s so many clothing options, it’s confusing!”
“Try Googling 3D Custom Shoujo and you’ll be a happy man.”
“Whoa!!!!!!!”
“What happened to him!”
“He’s probably still stuck making his character. It does that to novices.”
“Ahhh.”
“Welcome back. Now write the review already.”
“My thoughts on the onahole part are mixed. Using it is certainly exciting. It feels like sex. But if you thrust deep there’s no reaction, it’s a little disappointing.”
“Sure you’re not just too small?”
“So it’s no good for small guys? That rules me out.”
“Seriously? Let me just go cancel my order.”
“Upload a pic of the girl you made.”
“Like this:”
“Just what some virgin would want. Busty, black-haied, megane…”
“Shut it. I lost it ages ago!”
“So how was it? Glad you bought it?”
“I’m thinking it was pretty good.”
“Finally, the age where we can lose our virginity to our PCs has come!”
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Lose virginity with Kuroneko...
It will be out of stock within 5 minutes.
time to reinstall 3D custom girl =)
"But if you thrust deep there’s no reaction, it’s a little disappointing."
It's obviously because you're the one who's disappointing Onacon-chan here, it's not the other way around...
Japanese men can't even please their own PC's, it's just too sad.
+1
not sure if it was deserved, but hella funny.
i want to thank you for making me laugh today :)
“There’s a box inside the box, very classy!”
Onaconception
"We need to thrust deeper!"
thrust the box, you wont be disappointed
Its my
I'll put that box inside ANOTHER box ... and mail that box to myself!
This made me laugh! Props!
And when it arrives, I'LL SMASH IT WITH MY COCK
Yo, I heard you like opening boxes, so we put a box inside your box...
There a "box" inside the box inside the box.
And to think I almost gave up on people...I'm sooo happy!
Years from now, we'll all be telling our children about... oh wait we won't have any..
Sure we'll have. 2D.
computer analyzes DNA on the spot and makes you a 2D children
just use hair. or saliva.
oh yeah 17:44? and who is gonna donate the ovule?
what about the web-based service that you can produce an offspring with certain AKB girls?
*ordered*
*shipping*
*received*
*unpacked*
*installed*
*set up*
*plugs in USB*
*inserts penis*
*Device not detected*
*facepalm*
I lost it at "device not detected"
well played good sir XD
I wonder if a used virgin onahole could be considered 'damaged goods'?
Some things are just too small to detect.
your penis was not detected?
now we got a new PC jokes
YOU SIR! MAKE MY DAY ! XD
give this man a trophy!
feelsbadman.jpg
slowpoke.jpeg here
But this make my day lol.
*hang oneself" should end like this hahaha
The title makes me imagine cliche hentai dialogue in the voice of Microsoft Sam: "Ahn~ There's so much! Your hot stuff is filling me up!"
"Ah. Yes. O-o-o-o-oh"
Microsoft Sam has reported an Error. xD
i actually tried to hear sam's voice. it's nightmare
MY SIDES!
"Yes. Onii-chan is shooting his evil seed into my stomach. There is so much of it. I might die."
*shudders* ewww sam i had to mess with the tts thing in my school few years back.... so annoying.
Miku Hatsune.
Miku's voice would be even better with a life-size Miku hologram...
A Miku sexdroid will beat that anytime, man...anytime..
Why cant we people just use the correct Japanese way of saying Japanese names?
Hatsune Miku desu. -.-
Doesn't a family name require one to have a family in the first place?
My Japanese friends always put their given name first when talking to 'westerners'. They know it's how we are used to doing things, Weeaboo.
WHY BOTHER WITH SOME VIRGIN's question?
Because that's as pointless as using Japanese words when speaking in English.
Hatsune is the family name, and Miku is the given name. If that's not the traditional ordering where you're from, then what's the point of using it?
>Just what some virgin would want. Busty, black-haied, megane…
jelly as fuck
There are deputy services you can use to get goods from Japan. You just need to find one that's willing to ship adult products.
Do they ship internationally?
you can preorder it at kanojotoys.com
Link please? Can't find it.
I hope they ship to Canada.
I would love to know answer to that question as well :D I Would love to try it :D
Do take into account this: like most japanese sex toys, this might not be a good fit for your average Caucasian size-wise. I haven't checked out the details with this one, but people had been disappointed with that being the case with other toys 1:
Not managing to put it all in isn't the bad part btw, I'm talking about the girth size, where you won't be able to get anything in but the head.
But hey, maybe there are diff sizes or this one already took this into account (he said he can't thrust it deep and it wasn't clear if the program doesn't have that function or if his size simply couldn't).
Random note. The customization will go very far, seeing there are already dl-able models though it's already developing nicely.
ANYTHING CAN FIT AS LONG U USE SOME LOTION. Dont give hope.
Im asian and whilst my size is not as big as the average causasian size, it's a decent size for an asian so i should have no problems with it
From the pictures alone I know I wouldn't fit in D:
Oh right, I forgot there were pics *facepalm*
Well sadly not interested either if there aren't better sizes 1:
And where i can buy this?