Top 10 Signs a Guy is a Valentine’s Day Loser

sayaka-valentine.jpg

Japanese asked what signs they associate with a man being on the losing end of Valentine’s Day provide an instructive list.

It should of course be noted that in Japan the confectionery industry has cunningly established the belief that Valentine’s Day is chiefly about women giving expensive chocolates to men (either based on affection or simply because they have been mysteriously obligated to give them to all male colleagues by the aforementioned cunning marketing).

Even more cunningly, the industry established the traditional (dating all the way back to 1978) celebration of “White Day” exactly one month after Valentine’s, in which men have to give even more expensive chocolates back in an ostensible act of gender equality.

Despite all this, Valentine’s Day chocolate receipt is still a good proxy for masculine popularity – hence this ranking:

1. He says stuff like “I don’t like sweets anyway!”

2. He buys chocolates himself when he gets home

3. He keeps checking his desk for chocolates

4. A more popular guy shares his chocolates with him

5. He stays on at work saying he still has things to do

6. He bears a pained expression all day

7. He gets asked to call another guy over to a girl

8. He starts unconsciously fidgeting a lot

9. He’s playing a dating sim on a handheld

10. He starts picking on guys who did receive chocolates

For those wondering, the top sign a man is a Valentine’s Day “winner” is that “he gets called over by girls in his breaks” – for creepy otaku, fat chance indeed.


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    Avatar of Karosene
    Comment by Karosene
    03:10 16/02/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    I just pretend to not remember what day it is....

    Forever alone.... orz

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:22 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    i seriously don't remember. I didn't even remember when christmas pasted until after midnight.

    Avatar of obro
    Comment by obro
    03:21 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    bros before hoes man

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:40 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    sorry dude, 2D above all else.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:38 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    You are (not) alone

    Avatar of Shizu's Waki Obsessor: MaidNiac
    03:13 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    No, you're not alone..

    Avatar of Gitami
    Comment by Gitami
    07:59 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Legions!

    Avatar of alidan
    Comment by alidan
    03:49 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    seriously speaking, if it wasn't for this site, i wouldn't even have known it was the 14th, o yea, and fucking altus... fucking hell, remind me is valentines day with a blank "happy valentines day" message... the only fucking place that send me something and they don't offer porn.

    fuck

    any porn place could have said

    its valentines day again...
    dont worry
    we got you covered

    but no, a fucking game company sends it to me... after i loled my balls off, i got a bit depressed.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:54 08/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    same TT-TT

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:16 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    i think i feel a bit like you e.e

    Avatar of Yama-jii
    Comment by Yama-jii
    03:52 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    You're not alone. You still have legal 2D lolis.

    Avatar of Yoshii-kun
    Comment by Yoshii-kun
    03:08 16/02/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    BAH! HUMBUG!
    It's a conspiracy I tell ya! A conspiracy!

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:14 16/02/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    "4. A more popular guy shares his chocolates with him"

    I wonder what will be the reaction if its not out of pity and not an obligatory choco but a handmade one by the popular guy......

    Comment by Kudi
    03:16 16/02/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Any hole is a goal.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:42 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    He shoots, he scores! The crowd goes wild! ahhhhhhhh!

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:31 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    But would they complain if there was a hot yaoi moment?

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:19 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Yes. Alot.

    We need yuri.

    Avatar of Hydritator
    Comment by Hydritator
    18:42 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Agreed.

    Avatar of Yandere
    Comment by Yandere
    04:07 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Loud squealing and chatter, also, he's probably the seme, since the other guy made it for him lol

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:58 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I think someone does not know what seme and uke are, dear Anon 06:17

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:17 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    i think you forgot an n after seme, Local yandere

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:23 16/02/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    its a freaking Hallmark Holiday for boosting sales on those cards. At the same time, it is an attack to those who are obviously single out there. It does not care what gender you are.

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    05:05 16/02/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Much like Christmas. It is a shame, however both Valentine's Day and Christmas have evolved into their own entities that are beyond mere corporate whoring, even if they were generated by such. But I went to the grocery store yesterday, and just saw every guy who was there picking up chocolate or flowers, doing it with bored unconsciousness. A dude in a mechanic suit checked out in front of me with 70 bucks for flowers and chocolates and just let out this sigh of dejection. That entire scene represented the day to me in many ways. Money you're obligated to spend for reasons nobody understands.

    Granted more creative guys don't need such things, but let's face it, it's a strange mindset anyway that shifts expectations and screws with everything, sometimes in a good way. A female friend of mine's boyfriend had her favorite stuffed tiger re-stuffed and fixed for a valentines day present. She loved the gesture more than any chocolate or flowers.

    It's things like THAT that Valentine's day should represent. Not fleeting, overly expensive chocolate and vaguely pretty things that will die in a couple days. Although let's face it, that represents the American relationship more often than not.

    Avatar of Kazeto
    Comment by Kazeto
    07:08 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I agree with that - people should focus more on those small gestures and simple gifts that will last, instead of buying chocolates and flowers just because it's 14th February.
    That being said, I am kind of a hypocrite since I did buy my girlfriend a flower, but it was just one, and nobody got any gifts other than eating the cake we baked together.

    It's a shame that nowadays most people think money will bring happiness just because it's money and that most things require you to spend vast amount of them, and that people are getting really uncreative, and not only in the USA but in almost every country that has this "tradition" of 14th February.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:51 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Keep that shit in /v/.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:00 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    forever alone.jpg

    Avatar of Kitsunemimi6
    Comment by Kitsunemimi6
    09:23 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    @HouseLife = So true...

    I am never celebrating any important holiday like these 2 holidays ever & haven't done so up to this point so I'm looking pretty good...

    I only get gifts for Christmas & since I turned 18, it has been simply money from my mother to spend on things which I could get any day really...

    I have never even been a part of any Single Awareness Day activities in or outside of school & once I hit 18, the Holiday stopped existing in my mind so yeah...

    If you are in a American relationship though, YOU ARE FORCED TO CELEBRATE these occasions or else, you will be single by sunset the next day...

    Valentine's Day, Christmas, Spouses/Fiancée's Birthday, Relationship's Anniversary, Mother's/Father's Day & sometimes Grandmother's/Grandfather's Day & Sweetish Day so beware of all of this, it's FACT...

    Avatar of ו═╣═flood══›
    21:21 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I dated Nene in the morning. And dated a girl in the evening. How can I abandon my date with Nene on Valentines?? Thus number 9 is untrue.

    Avatar of Gitami
    Comment by Gitami
    07:58 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Rather than have a sad day where males and females are sad on feb 14 Japan upgraded the sadness to two days.

    Can't give/didn't receive on feb 14. Can't give/didn't receive/didn't return on march 15.

    Avatar of Megidola
    Comment by Megidola
    03:22 16/02/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    The NHK invented it so they could identify their hikikomori converts.

    Avatar of TFish
    Comment by TFish
    04:03 16/02/2011 # ! Good (+0.7)

    Actually it's the day St. Valentine was sentenced to be brutally beaten to death by the roman emperor. Which I guess has a lot to do with chocolate and flowers.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:41 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    The Roman Emperor never got chocolate from the ladies, but St. Valentine got a lot as he was popular...

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:15 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Haha TFish. I ended up reading about Valentine, and learned about Black Day. For some White Day doesn't have to involve "a return for Valentine's", but if you don't receive anything on either day, you supposedly go out and eat on Black Day. From the looks of things, we obviously need more days to waste money in certain ways.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:48 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    The Japanese can be congratulated for taking an inconsequential Western holiday and turning it into an opportunity for male failure, embarrassment, social mockery, and emotional trauma. Good job, and you're welcome.

    You took Christmas and Valentine's Day. See what you can do with Easter next.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:14 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    The rise of Zombie Jesus???

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:21 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    and now we know

    Avatar of Mizushima 水島
    Comment by Mizushima 水島
    07:37 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    what isn't though? lol

    Avatar of Naison
    Comment by Naison
    03:14 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    *puts on tinfoil hat*

    Lets get to work

    Avatar of Yourtime
    Comment by Yourtime
    06:08 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    He says stuff like “I don’t like sweets anyway!”
    She says stuff like "I don't like manga anyway!"
    and both ignore their dislike and love themself.. happy end .. yaay!

    edit: looks like the best you can do, if you get nothing .. don't care about the day and be happy for others. (with other words, if you are ugly.. or havn't the charm for girls, accept it and die with a smile) u.u

    Avatar of Hatsune Miku
    Comment by Hatsune Miku
    07:00 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Number 1... what if I really don't like sweets? I really hate candies and certain type of really sweet chocolates.

    Avatar of Bass
    Comment by Bass
    03:08 16/02/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    "Chocolate is bad for my health anyways..."

    That should had figured out in the 10 signs of the Valentine day loser list.
    Concerning my personal experience I have never celebrated that day in all my life, I just consider February 14th as a day like all the others. There's nothing special about that day at all besides the compulsive consuming and hypocrisy, if you really like someone you don't need a certain day to show it, you just do it.

    Avatar of Night
    Comment by Night
    04:35 16/02/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    Top ten signs a guy has finally understood what is better for him.

    1. He’s playing a dating sim on a handheld

    Avatar of Riiku
    Comment by Riiku
    01:34 17/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    8. He starts unconsciously fapping a lot. fixed that

    Avatar of Chiaki H
    Comment by Chiaki H
    13:57 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Those guys have to buy the girls chocolates. Thus, they lose out on eating sweets

    Avatar of alex251
    Comment by alex251
    03:14 16/02/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    where are 2ch Valentines 2D waifu pictures ?

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:17 16/02/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    "9. He’s playing a dating sim on a handheld"

    I bought Love Plus+ on Forever Alone Day. :>

    Avatar of Shippoyasha
    Comment by Shippoyasha
    04:41 16/02/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    That list is kind of funny but pretty mean. Do girls really need to hammer that point in if guys just are not fortunate enough?

    Avatar of Darien Shields
    Comment by Darien Shields
    03:44 16/02/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    As if hermits, priests, and loners were losers, maybe by some standards. But several peak human scientists of ages bygone were never married, ponder. God>Eve.

    Avatar of Shizu's Waki Obsessor: MaidNiac
    03:12 16/02/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Sayaka chocolate cake? Dude has some nice taste~

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:18 16/02/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Yes. The tomboy characters are always the best.

    We really should have a tomboy gallery. They are awesome... and under-represented.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:58 16/02/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    11. he writes blogs about how to survive being single at valentines day

    ....

    oh shit! that was only me...!






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