Clinic Busted for Giving Schoolgirls Coffee Enemas

schoolgirl-pre-enema-by-murakami-suigun.jpg

The staff of a clinic have been arrested for performing coffee enemas on several schoolgirls.

Chiba police arrested a 55-year-old man, the former manager of a clinic, and 2 others for the practice of medicine without a licence.

Police found the clinic (since closed) had been offering coffee enemas on the basis that they “helped remove bad things and make the body beautiful,” having performed the procedure on at least 6 female “patients,” including 2 14-year-old schoolgirls who complained of constipation.

In his defence, the proprietor insists “we made the preparations and cleaned up afterwards, but the patients performed the enemas themselves.”

The staff operated several clinics offering “rainbow treatment” intended to allow spontaneous recovery from various ailments, as well as “ear diets” designed to allow weight-loss through acupressure of the ear. The clinics reportedly treated 5,000 customers, earning  ¥40,000,000 in revenue.

Police suspect the clinic performed other dubious procedures and continue to investigate.


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    Avatar of jamesownsall
    Comment by jamesownsall
    00:16 05/12/2010 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Fucking hippies and their homeopathy, lol.

    Nonsense aside, the girls who took that 'treatment' were blinded by the need to look beautiful. Don't get me wrong: No sane person would resist a beautiful woman. However, a woman's gotta have her limits when it comes to the kind of shit she'd take to reach that goal. I mean c'mon... coffee up the ass? I thought everyone knew already that caffeine is coffee's main active ingredient.

    http://ezinearticles.com/?Role-of-Coffee-in-Constipation-Troubles&id=1550486 [http://ezinearticles.com/?Role-of-Coffee-in-Constipation-Troubles&id=1550486]

    "Though it deceitfully looks like a laxative, it has the tendency to do just the opposite."

    The 55 year-old man? Being a criminal aside, he's clever for creating an authentic-enough treatment that might not only get himself cash, but also satisfied some of his darker sexual tastes, haha.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:51 05/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Coffee enema? Sometimes, I am not even surprised anymore.

    Avatar of nemesis
    Comment by nemesis
    23:57 04/12/2010 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    i suddenly feel like a coffee.

    Avatar of Knives
    Comment by Knives
    00:07 05/12/2010 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    ill have my expresso to go please XD

    Avatar of Sithreis
    Comment by Sithreis
    01:04 05/12/2010 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    Extra cream, Sire?

    Avatar of nemesis
    Comment by nemesis
    03:46 05/12/2010 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    "gets coffee"
    I DEMAND A REFUND, THIS COFFEE TASTS LIKE SHIT!

    Avatar of Yoshii-kun
    Comment by Yoshii-kun
    01:16 05/12/2010 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    With sprinkles good sir!

    Avatar of shiroki
    Comment by shiroki
    03:10 05/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.7)

    Food for thought: the dispenser also play a part in why coffee taste good

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:13 05/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    It's a bit nutty...

    Avatar of Megidola
    Comment by Megidola
    06:04 05/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    "Hey, I don't remember ordering a mocha..."

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:26 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    You KNEW it would taste like shit!

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:35 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    @nemesis 03:46

    It IS SHIT, Austin.

    11:36 05/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Austin powers taking one for the team. :)

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:40 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    @Anon 10:35

    Oh, good. Then it's not just me.

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:36 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    You went to a website called "healing deva". Don't expect too much in the way of scientifically verifiable information.

    Avatar of Kwonnie
    Comment by Kwonnie
    14:22 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Coffee enemas are actually something of a combat against cancer. Random first Google result for sharing purposes:

    http://healingdeva.com/coffee_enemas.htm

    Avatar of Kwonnie
    Comment by Kwonnie
    19:34 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Good point. I should probably check what I link.

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:58 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    It doesn't matter where it's posted. The article is scientifically sound and well sourced.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:12 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Was I the only one who didn't understand a thing said in this post? :(

    Avatar of Uncommon0taku
    Comment by Uncommon0taku
    14:08 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (-0.2)

    wut?

    Avatar of dreadx6
    Comment by dreadx6
    01:06 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    *googles what coffee enemas are*
    o.O ohhhhh... wow..
    Well i guess they are at fault for practicing without a license but the patients are also at fault for using them =/

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    04:21 05/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Aaaactually coffee enemas and other similarly unorthodox treatments are understood to be beneficial for treatments on certain cancers and such, among other things I've forgotten. It's just things like that will never get funding for testing because there's no profit in it. I'm not sure what the 'without a license' aspect of this was. The clinic wouldn't have been able to remain open even before they were caught if they didn't have a license. I wonder whether it was like a naturopathic license to do such things or whatever...

    Either way, I stopped pretending the official medical industry knows what it's doing a while ago when I had cancer. They don't know what they're doing. Chemotherapy is considered a good idea, and only a complete moron would believe that's the right path to continue down for treatments. Using toxins and heavy metals on a toxin-based disease. It's the fucking dark ages still, we just have too much ego to realize it. Chemotherapy is using napalm to stop a forest fire.

    I'd honestly trust even the more ridiculous-sounding naturopathic and homeopathic remedies than any FDA whore of a doctor nine times out of ten.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:00 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Dr. House has spoken!

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:21 06/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    She would have died either way. Your point? You don't seem to know much about cancer, so I'll explain it to you. Once it's began metastasizing, it's over. Not even a miracle could have saved her at this point. Chemotherapy could have accelerated it a bit though.

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    16:49 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    All wonderful in real life, and horrible analogies for cancer by the way.

    The real analogy for that would be killing a forest fire AND the firemen with napalm, and killing the murderer and the police and yourself with the gun. So I stand corrected.

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:47 04/06/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    House, a friend of mine does non-profit medical research, and he isn't alone. A lot of medical research, especially more basic research, is non-profit, for example funded by governments or universities.
    But there are a million different things to test. And when you decide how to spend your time you have to make choices. If you routinely blow money away, the government will probably reject your next grant proposal, and of course studies that show something are much better for the author than studies that show no effect.
    So researchers tend to focus their efforts on things that could plausibly work. I'm afraid coffee enemas as cancer treatments isn't one of those things. And if that bugs you, you'll have to design experiments, trials, find subjects and do the work yourself.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:29 06/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Metastasizing does not mean it is over. My son was diagnosed with bone cancer that had metastasized to his right lung when he was nine. He had chemotherapy for nine months and has been clear for years now.

    Avatar of Castian
    Comment by Castian
    02:27 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    w...wut?
    k.. lemme google it....
    ............
    ............
    ............!
    ............!!!
    WTF!
    i'd never guessed enemas like that...
    yup yuo're right, how in the world can some1 use them in faulty clinics?

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:15 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    actually you can use controlled fires to burn down a section of land to stop a forest fire spreading.

    You can also use guns to stop a murderer with a gun.

    Comment by Anonymous

    I knew a girl who had metastasized bone cancer and her parents took her to this so-called "clinic" in Mexico where they prayed for her and gave her coffee enemas. I remember feeling really bad about getting off on the thought of her having the enemas. Didn't do her any good either, she died.

    Avatar of Hatsune Miku
    Comment by Hatsune Miku
    12:01 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I'll just get the double double

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:37 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    pft. Three by three all the way.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:17 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    it's espresso, dummy

    any good barista would laugh at you if you ordered an 'expresso'

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:13 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Except for the French ones, because that's how they say it in French. Or so I've read.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:23 06/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    French? Unless you're in France, you don't really have an excuse for that.

    00:45 05/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.7)

    I'm gonna think of coffee enema every time i see someone drink coffee now.

    Avatar of Misakite
    Comment by Misakite
    00:58 05/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.7)

    I'm going to imagine an enema house every time I walk into a Starbucks now.

    Avatar of Yoshii-kun
    Comment by Yoshii-kun
    01:19 05/12/2010 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    "Which way in would you like it, sir?"
    "Waterfall or the fountain special?"

    01:15 05/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Starbucks enema special.

    Avatar of Evil Santa, Has Come To Town
    12:13 06/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    "Can I have mines with less nuts and corn ?"

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:46 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Thick Black coffee um hmm!

    Avatar of Renzo
    Comment by Renzo
    05:38 08/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Expresso into stomach, not butt ;_;

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:39 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I suddenly don't want any more coffee..

    Avatar of Rya
    Comment by Rya
    23:58 04/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.7)

    If they got exactly what they wanted knowing full well what they were doing, I don't see a problem here. Unless of course someone filmed it, in that case I'd like to buy a copy.

    Comment by Naoli
    00:06 05/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    the problem is they didn't have a medical license.

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    00:52 05/12/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    That's why they didn't do it themselves but let the patients do it. Sounds legit to me.

    Avatar of Yuuki
    Comment by Wisteria Berlitz
    01:28 05/12/2010 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    wtf is this Anon talking about?

    01:59 05/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.7)

    Something about constipation?

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    20:08 05/12/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Last time I checked results differ if you put the same stuff in your mouth and than in your ass. Also, he probably never said that constipation wasn't part of plan to achieve beauty.

    Besides, since when can someone be prosecuted for the things someone else does? He didn't even have a licence to loose for his bad advise. Genius.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:32 15/07/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well, there was a person the music industry who used to take a coffee enema all the time

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:45 05/12/2010 # ! Drivel (-0.7)

    coffee is a diuretic you fool

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:24 05/12/2010 # ! Drivel (-1.0)

    Riiiiiight...

    A health-sector businessman using a substance that is more likely to cause constipation, AS LAXATIVE, sounds LEGIT ALRIGHT....

    The fucker could've done a quick Google search and find something else that isn't as ironic to use. Instead, we see the same kind of vendor/provider ethics as those in China, according to this site anyway.

    Run out of concrete? Put styrofoam.
    Want to trigger enema? Shove a constipation-inducing substance.

    Fools.





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