“I Invested $60,000 in a Maid, Any Questions?”

sumaga-nekomimi-maid.jpg

The desperate tale of a man who spent ¥5,000,000 attempting to woo a maid without her ever once agreeing to go on a date with him makes for interesting reading.

He (who for the sake of convenience will here be dubbed “Debuman”) approaches 2ch’s VIP board in the hopes that they will be able to help him secure a date with his maid:

I invested 5,000,000 in a maid café’s maid, any questions?

When I say maid, I mean one from a maid café.
Normally I’d take her out in my car for a drive, but I want a proper date and asked her, but she refused!

You’ve still not been arrested then.

I’m not doing anything I could be arrested for.

Haven’t we heard this before? [links to a thread by the same poster from a week ago with very similar content]

Tell us you and your maid’s specs.

Me: About 40, fatty [“Debumen”]
Maid: 24, maid

¥5,000,000 – what the hell have you been doing?

Well, it’s an investment. Presents and so on. [He later reveals his yearly salary is ¥3,000,000]

Aren’t you dating already?

We were just sort of going out together on a drive. I doubt it qualifies as a date.

She refused because she’d be embarrassed to be seen about with some old fat guy.

No way. If she thought like that she’d not go on drives with me. Anyway I love her, and she definitely loves me – it was just the way I asked that was wrong. That’s why I started the thread, so you lot can tell me how to ask her out properly.

HE HASN’T EVEN REALISED YET!!!!

So did you ask her to go to Hakone or Hokkaido?

I asked on a trip once, but she refused, really vigorously. We need to start with a date first, obviously.

So are you saying she’ll do you in the car, but not at your home?

I’m not investing in her for sex.

Well done, Mr Stalker.

I’m not a stalker.

You again. Face reality and give up, it’s commerce man, commerce.

You guys were asking me questions in that thread, now it’s my turn. Tell me how to get her to go on a date with me.

You don’t listen to people so there’s no point.

Creepy. If he’s not after sex just what does he want?

Mature dating between a man and a woman. The ones who go after their bodies are just kids.

What, is trying to work out what would be nice to give her fun? Like how she will react? What accessories would go well with her?

He’s been giving her consumer electronics…

So, how did you ask her out?

Normally. “Let’s go out on a date next Saturday. Where shall we go?”

Give it up! You’re getting nowhere, and however you look at it 5,000,000 is abnormal. She has no intention of ever dating you. There are other fish in the sea – use the money to improve yourself and then try dating someone else.

Sorry. We’re sort of dating. Trying another woman would be cheating!

“Sort of dating” is itself a bit weird…

¥5,000,000 – over how long?

5 years.

What kind of fortune do you have to be able to afford that? If I were a woman and a guy who had ¥6,000,000 in savings spent ¥5,000,000 courting me, I’d be more than a little worried about his priorities, and besides which it’s totally creepy.

I still have ¥2,000,000 in savings left.

When she turned you down, what did you think?

I thought I’d asked her out unskillfully. How should I try asking her?

Shouldn’t you be concerned about spending all that on her and her not even being willing to date you? That and how you ask her out are two different issues.

If so she would never have accepted the TVs and stuff. If she had no intention of dating me she’d never accept all those expensive gifts you moron!

Take what you can get. That’s an ironclad rule.

She’s not some greedy wretch like you.

If she weren’t she wouldn’t accept gifts from a total stranger!

That’s what I’m telling you, we’re practically lovers!

Come on – define “lovers”:
Date.
Kiss.
Sex.
And usually it starts like this between lovers:
Man: “Let’s go out somewhere.”
Woman: “Sure.”

What a childish definition!

Who says sex is for kids? It’s the ultimate form of communication between two people seeking each other’s hearts and bodies.

Didn’t you say there are other guys investing in her too? She sounds like she has a bunch of investors.

I did actually investigate this. I was watching her interactions with other guys at the café. I looked into them and they were OK.

I bet there’s another guy who invested ¥6,000,000?

I gave this some thought. I’ve been worried I might not have invested enough.

I’m a maid. I wouldn’t use my favourite man to support me. The ones you do that with are sacrificial pawns.

You asked her on a trip. If she lives in Tokyo, why not ask her to go to Osaka to buy electronics or something?

She refused to go anywhere – said she couldn’t leave the café for long.

Saying how much you spent on a girl is weird to begin with. You’re an old guy who has never dated – quit fooling yourself! She just sees you as a sucker she can safely milk for gifts by just going on a drive with you…

“Sort of dating” for 5 years is a joke. Normally you’d be having sex or even married by that time.

I understand you don’t want to face reality, but give it a break. You’re just a sucker to her.

Well, I’ve thought about that a lot. I’ve asked any number of times whether she’s just milking me for cash and intends to drop me when she no longer needs me.

She replied: “You’re my number 1 customer! There’s no way I’d drop you! We’ll go on a date when I get a chance.” No way am I just a sucker if she says something like that.

Nobody is going to say “You’ve really seen through me! You were just a sucker!”

What a twisted way of thinking. You’re saying everything she said is a lie and I shouldn’t listen?

Give us a breakdown of all the money you squandered on her.

It’s not squandered:

Presents: ¥3,000,000
Dates: ¥1,000,000
Phone charges: ¥600,000
Misc: ¥400,000

Try confessing to her. If she really loves you she’ll accept.

Men don’t confess their love! That’s something a schoolboy would think of anyway.
If you had no doubts about this you would not have started the thread. You’re slowly starting to realize, aren’t you?

You’re an idiot. I invested ¥20,000,000 on a cabaret girl over 3 years – but a rival swooped in and gave a Benz and I lost her. Spend the rest of your money on her and then borrow more so you’re sure to get her.

I suppose I’ll have to borrow money to keep going when my money is gone. But I want to go on a trip before I start doing that.

No wonder she keeps at it – if I could get ¥5,000,000 from smiling and calling someone goshujin-sama I’d have trouble quitting too.

That there are people like him around really is scary.

I’m over 40. I’ve never really talked to a woman or held hands with one before meeting her. This is my first and last chance. You understand? My last chance.

Maybe you lot have never met a maid. They’re really kind and don’t look down on me, they interact with me as an equal.

That’s why I spent ¥5,000,000. I just want to go on a date with her too…

If she really were kind and willing to date you, she’d be worried about you spending so much on her…

You need to stop while you still have savings. There’s no going back once you have no money left.

I’ve already spent ¥5,000,000!!!!
There’s no going back!!
It’s impossible now….
Just beg her for a date and offer 500,000 of what you have left if she will.
It seems all I can do is try to lure her with money or gifts.

You still don’t get that you’re one of her “customers” do you?

But I’m her number 1 customer. She goes on drives with me. You don’t mix customers into your private life.

5 years and she got 5,000,000 out of you – this girl is a pro, a real pro.

This is like a religion for this guy – like one of the zealots in a cult. It’s hard for them to come to terms with the fact that it’s a lie and some go on allowing themselves to be exploited even when it’s made clear to them.

[Debuman proceeds to solicit several letters and resolves to send one of them, offering 300,000 for a date – she responds explaining to him how delighted she is but that it wouldn’t be a good idea to spend so much on a date – if there’s a chance she’ll definitely go on a date with him, but until then please]

Maid:

“A date?
You’ve asked so many times… I’m really happy. But please, I don’t think it would be good to spend 300,000. We can always go on a date when I get a chance, but please don’t spend 300,000 on one date.
Come to the café soon! Let’s talk about a date then!”

Wooooo!!!!
What a nice girl!!!! And she put a heart on the message!!!!!!
I need to think of a response!!!!

She shot you down… why are you so happy?

What a pro – she can keep milking you over a long period now.

And she knows how much you’ve spent on her. She’s still up for more.

She’s totally heartless… If I knew someone like this I’d sever ties with them immediately.

[Debuman sends her a mail saying he’s sorry for suddenly offering the money and asking where she’d like to go – she responds that she’d like to go to Disneyland but that she doesn’t think it would suit him – won’t he please come to the café where they can discuss it further? Debuman is delighted]

The idea that you’ve “invested” ¥5,000,000 in her is completely crazy to begin with…

Amazing – with two mails this guy has been returned to his formerly brainwashed state and doesn’t question it at all.

This maid is just so wicked I’m starting to sympathise with this guy.

If this is a troll my hat’s off – it’s damned amusing.

[Debuman offers to take his maid to Tokyo Disneyland:]

I got a response!:

“Maybe it will be rainy that day. I might have work too. Could you wait until my schedule is free for you? I’d really love to go to Disneyland with you if I could. But the café is so busy! I’m so sorry – don’t be annoyed.”

Looks like I pushed too far. Any help guys?

She wants to fight on her home ground.

This maid is powerful – basically all her mails obliquely tell him to come to the café.

She won’t accept 300,000 because she knows she’ll get that much from him by stringing him along a few months.

They’re really no different from hostesses. It’s the fault of the guys who get caught.

That’s right – it’s just the looks and customer demographic which changes.

This is just getting more and more creepy – at the café it’s gone from “Gross, I got another mail from that guy.” “Seriously? Like, gross.” to “He asked me out again.” “Seriously? He might be dangerous, you should talk to the manager about him.”

[Debuman sends a mail suggesting they reserve a place at the Disneyland hotel]

Another response!

“You’re really so kind! I’ll be sure to have a lovely rice-omelet for you next time, so look forward to it! I’ll be waiting!”
What a good girl. She’s so kind. You jealous creeps just don’t get it.

She just ignored the stuff about Disneyland completely – what a pro.”

And the meal won’t be free either.

Love and affection aren’t just about sex – I’ve proven as much. It’s about caring for one another.

All the envious people or the ones going on about her heart being black need to look at that response – you should be able to understand just how kind she is!

An abject lesson on the dangers of maids if ever there were one – to say nothing of the dangers inherent in becoming infatuated with the fantasy life on offer in Akihabara.


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    319 Comments
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    Avatar of Megidola
    Comment by Megidola
    23:09 31/10/2010 # ! Good (+0.4)

    If you offer to take someone to Disneyland and their response if "Maybe it will be rainy that day", it really is time to give up.
    This guy needs a lesson in the dangers of sunk costs. Or rather, this guy *is* a lesson in the dangers of sunk costs.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:34 31/10/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Silly person, there is no way someone that idiotic can exist, he is so obviously amusing us with a wonderful story and it is working.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:26 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Never underestimate the human dumbness.

    Avatar of kakul
    Comment by kakul
    11:20 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I've watched that documentary, the top pimp earns 50k a month. Forgot whether its in euros or usd.

    The concept is the same, keep giving them hope but never give them real love nor commit.
    Then keep selling them what your employment is tasked you to sell.

    In the case of the maid cafe, their beverages and food.

    In the case of greathappinessspace, their ridiculously priced alcohol at 5k a bottle.

    Avatar of Artefact
    Comment by Artefact
    01:53 01/11/2010 # ! Astronomical

    These people really do exist in large numbers:
    http://www.thegreathappinessspace.com/ < Recommended viewing if you still have doubts.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:38 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Never underestimate the human dumbass.

    *fixed*

    Avatar of Sinkross
    Comment by Sinkross
    02:08 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    i read that line and LMAO!!

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:15 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    im surprised no one said lose weight first.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:45 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    40 years old and never hold hand or something at some girls?

    Is that a result of retardism?

    i hope this man just embiggen some stupid story.

    That man retardness and foolishness is unnatural.

    DId he ever met a thief or something like that before??

    I am fat myself but i have no problem talking to girls . and they were not even my friend or girlfriend.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:32 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    there are nothing more powerful than blind love or blind faith.

    Avatar of Tateha
    Comment by Tateha
    08:01 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    poor guy. feel bad for him but he's the master of his own destiny and it looks like he wants to put himself into ruin.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:01 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    You have done well for the first step , son.

    Now , let's go to the next phase of the true love act.

    The ultimate act of love consist of

    Rape, Kill and then rape her. In that order.

    And the last affection for her is

    double suicide.

    Hope you got a happy relationship, eternally

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:06 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    all you have to do is say you love her and can we go on a date and let her pick a time and place. this is what i think but i never get pass the 1st think because i find people keep doing to 1st

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:48 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hilarious. HILARIOUS.

    I wonder if he might be a troll, though? The rotten underbelly of Japan tends to elicit that response from me, though.

    Top marks either way.

    Avatar of Domo-Kun
    Comment by Domo-Kun
    09:13 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    For 6 million Yen, can't you just buy a robot maid?

    Avatar of Ben
    Comment by Ben
    07:55 02/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Like the Jetsons!... wait...

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:23 08/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Actually no. The cost of HRP-4C is around 200k last time I heard.

    Avatar of Domo-Kun
    Comment by Domo-Kun
    03:06 29/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    HRP-4C isn't a maid anyway! Who would want that? I want Multi from "To Heart" with Horie Yui's voice.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:13 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Stick to 2D. Even 2d maids wouldn't cost you 65k...

    Avatar of intratec
    Comment by intratec
    09:34 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    You're a sad man, you know?

    Avatar of Ben
    Comment by Ben
    07:49 02/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    @It's a reasonable suggestion. (not that I condone it or anything.) At least he's not an immediate danger to someone.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:47 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Definite troll. If he really believed that they loved each other, why did he start off by saying he invested that much money in her? He would have come to 2chan asking for advice with girls in general, not immediately point out that she works at a maid cafe and he's spent a ton of money on her already.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:52 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    This guy is in love with his delusions rather than what the girl is like in reality..

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:08 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Ahhh, real life, we see each other yet again.

    Avatar of Kamina
    Comment by Kamina
    09:42 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Working on a new Animu related stuffz site check it out and tell me what you guys think! http://itaotaku.wordpress.com/

    Avatar of djchayan
    Comment by djchayan
    09:41 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    It won't surprise me if this ends up on the news saying "40y/o man stabs maid because he found her kissing another"...

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:17 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    wowo, like, why does he even bother going to that thread when he completely ignores what people say anyways? that giy really is beyond help. and even trying to tell people what "chilidsh" and what "true love" are when he has basically no clue to thta and didnt have anything liek that in his whole life! man, seriously. that guy is just too dumb to symphathize with.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:28 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    He's a dumbass,even donating it to charity would be better.Yet for his lust,this shit happened.

    Avatar of intratec
    Comment by intratec
    09:35 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Go buy a muscle car and a whore, jap.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:52 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    If he's a troll, he's epic and should write a book instead.

    If he's for real, leave him be and let evolution deal with the weak

    Avatar of Ota-Kool
    Comment by Ota-Kool
    04:07 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Just hire a foreign Domestic Helper... But don't expect good-looking and sexy. LOL

    Avatar of SolidSnack
    Comment by SolidSnack
    04:03 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    men controls money, money controls women, women controls men.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:11 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    1. You can't buy affection. Especially not a woman's affection.

    2. If you haven't managed to get a date within 2 weeks of meeting her you should move on.

    3. You invest in assets, not people.

    Dude should have spent his money on a personal trainer and some hobbies that would make him more interesting.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:16 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wow this reminds me of this south park episode where butters falls inlove with this girl at that hooters like place. Whose only nice to him so she can get good tips

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:52 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    A troll. No one can be this dumb.

    Comment by Anonymous
    Comment by Anonymous
    03:01 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    As someone who just got hired at a maid cafe, all I can say is... shame on that poor excuse for a woman for cruelly stringing this Goshuujin-sama along, and shame on this Goshuujin-sama for continuously falling for it.

    5 million yen? Really? And she still won't see you outside of work? Come ON. You're her Number 1 Customer. CUSTOMER. AND THAT'S IT. Forget him taking her for a ride in his car, she's taking him on a ride through his bank account!

    If he has money, he should come overseas and visit the cafe I just got hired at. We're probably cheaper and I know our maids wouldn't do something like that. What a damn shame.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:31 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I'll be your goshuujin-sama for 5,000,000 yen, how's that?

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:31 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Your maids are probably butt-ugly.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:03 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I can only hope this is a nicely done trolling post. Because, honestly, even the dumbest guy I know would have gotten the message a few years and $$ ago. If this is true, this poor man is lost. It has nothing to do with his age or shape but everything to do with the girl he finds that accepts him for him. All bodies go downhill, no matter what you do, so anyone that bases a relationship on that alone is in for a surprise.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:16 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    go to the province, look for a cute girl, spend time with her and use small amount of money then peroid... if it doesnt succeed look for a new one, at least did not used a huge amount like that cherry 40 yr old man there

    Comment by Kudiween
    03:13 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I'd really like to see a psychiatrists take on this.

    Both parties have some issues: she's obviously a psychopath with a skill for manipulating people and absolutely no conscience, but I'm not sure how you'd classify his disorder. In some ways he reminds me of a gambling addict who won't give up until he wins back his losses (which usually never happens).

    Avatar of Trollkastel
    Comment by Trollkastel
    04:26 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    'maid addiction'?

    Avatar of Trollkastel
    Comment by Trollkastel
    04:24 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    i think i've fallen in love with this maid. so wicked! she's a real pro.

    Avatar of Shuubi
    Comment by Shuubi
    18:13 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I like to imagine her as a bit of a yandere. Admit it, she'd be the next idol of the otaku world if she was 2D.

    Comment by Anonymous
    Avatar of yin
    Comment by yin
    05:50 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    it's like drug... women are scary...

    Avatar of Ben
    Comment by Ben
    07:56 02/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Yeah, ecstasy, lol.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:59 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    This guy is excused from the amount of money he spent on herfor his lifestyle but for his IQ he deserves to be burned at the stake goddawn it man there are perfectly healthy Mentally challenged individuals that could breathe the air space he is using up don't tell me japan doesn't have cheaper hookers than that ....sigh the interesting thing about this though he is the sad within the sad I wanna seee the depths of pathethic japanese men can reach

    Avatar of yin
    Comment by yin
    06:16 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    he also need EQ

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:16 01/11/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    This guy is just deluded.









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